Jealous of Big Law partner spouses?

[Anonymous]

I’d say my SIL has it pretty good. Doesn’t work, plenty of money, and has plenty of time for herself. She is the default parent, but because she doesn’t work, has the time to do everything. She is great, so no jealousy. I could be happy with the same situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Saying big law a lot is also a weird flag. The people at the top firms are not generically saying "I work in big law" just like a Harvard grad isn't going around saying "I went to an Ivy League school." There are huge variations in prestige (and $$) based on the firm and practice area. Some positions would make people far more envious too.
Money and lifestyle wise, I'd be more jealous of PE or VC spouses or of doc spouses where the specialty is lucrative with easy hours.

I have never heard the term big law actually in real life. I only hear it online. I’m a wife of a very busy surgeon and while he does make seven figures, he also works long hours so nothing to be envious about over here. He does not log into work after hours although he will pass out before kids since Dh is up at 5 to go to the hospital at 6 to prep for surgery.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Saying big law a lot is also a weird flag. The people at the top firms are not generically saying "I work in big law" just like a Harvard grad isn't going around saying "I went to an Ivy League school." There are huge variations in prestige (and $$) based on the firm and practice area. Some positions would make people far more envious too.
Money and lifestyle wise, I'd be more jealous of PE or VC spouses or of doc spouses where the specialty is lucrative with easy hours.

I have never heard the term big law actually in real life. I only hear it online. I’m a wife of a very busy surgeon and while he does make seven figures, he also works long hours so nothing to be envious about over here. He does not log into work after hours although he will pass out before kids since Dh is up at 5 to go to the hospital at 6 to prep for surgery.

For couples who don't actually like each other and are staying together for the kids, I feel like being married to a big law partner or surgeon is ideal! They make plenty of money, and they're out of your hair.

[Anonymous]

Oh ffs.

If you are that interested in “biglaw” get your own law degree and biglaw job. Not easy. But easier than the life one eventually leads after choosing a spouse based on their job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not sure I’d want to be a big law partner, which sounds pretty stressful. But being the spouse of one sounds sweet. It’s a lot of money, right? Or are the reports exaggerated?

Materialism and envy are a bad look.

Don’t forget the laziness in there as well…

[Anonymous]

A guy I work waith cane from BigLaw. He opened up about how miserable he was. He worked insane hours, never saw his kid, gained 70 pounds and his health fell apart. He was a top attorney but at the same time his doctor was telling him he was on track to have a heart attack in his 40s. He switched to government, got his health back and flexes off so he can go to his son's soccer games every week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A guy I work waith cane from BigLaw. He opened up about how miserable he was. He worked insane hours, never saw his kid, gained 70 pounds and his health fell apart. He was a top attorney but at the same time his doctor was telling him he was on track to have a heart attack in his 40s. He switched to government, got his health back and flexes off so he can go to his son's soccer games every week.

DOJ is full of refugees like this. Most of them aren’t worth sh!t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My spouse makes 1/20 of big law partner salary but works the same hours. She is a scientist. The society is really really fair. What does big law partner contribute to society? Do they generate new knowledge?

DH helps protect American workers and industries. To me that’s a contribution, but I’m not sure the need to compare. It all depends on who your client is. There are scientists who make bank. There are also govt lawyers who don’t. Also, I might argue that a lot of science is behind paywalls, so it doesn’t always benefit the public.

We definitely need good lawyers in many field including immigration. But most of these big law partners seem only to cater to rich people. I found the salary insanely inappropriate. They outsource childcare to black and latino nannies. What a great life!?

This is a thread about spouses married to big law partners. These women often don’t work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My spouse makes 1/20 of big law partner salary but works the same hours. She is a scientist. The society is really really fair. What does big law partner contribute to society? Do they generate new knowledge?

DH helps protect American workers and industries. To me that’s a contribution, but I’m not sure the need to compare. It all depends on who your client is. There are scientists who make bank. There are also govt lawyers who don’t. Also, I might argue that a lot of science is behind paywalls, so it doesn’t always benefit the public.

We definitely need good lawyers in many field including immigration. But most of these big law partners seem only to cater to rich people. I found the salary insanely inappropriate. They outsource childcare to black and latino nannies. What a great life!?

This is a thread about spouses married to big law partners. These women often don’t work.

For the women who married rich men and don't work, what do they want their daughters to be? Educated at GDS/Yale and marry someone rich? So 1950s?

Truly wealthy people, like women married to a Wacthell partner who has done well in the market, have trust funds already established for their daughters. They want them to be kind and happy and pursue meaningful work. They have the luxury of getting a degree from Yale and then staying home with their children if that brings them the most fulfillment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My spouse makes 1/20 of big law partner salary but works the same hours. She is a scientist. The society is really really fair. What does big law partner contribute to society? Do they generate new knowledge?

DH helps protect American workers and industries. To me that’s a contribution, but I’m not sure the need to compare. It all depends on who your client is. There are scientists who make bank. There are also govt lawyers who don’t. Also, I might argue that a lot of science is behind paywalls, so it doesn’t always benefit the public.

We definitely need good lawyers in many field including immigration. But most of these big law partners seem only to cater to rich people. I found the salary insanely inappropriate. They outsource childcare to black and latino nannies. What a great life!?

This is a thread about spouses married to big law partners. These women often don’t work.

For the women who married rich men and don't work, what do they want their daughters to be? Educated at GDS/Yale and marry someone rich? So 1950s?

Truly wealthy people, like women married to a Wacthell partner who has done well in the market, have trust funds already established for their daughters. They want them to be kind and happy and pursue meaningful work. They have the luxury of getting a degree from Yale and then staying home with their children if that brings them the most fulfillment.

Exactly. It gives our kids the luxury of choice. They start life with no loans and can pick a career based on what they want to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Saying big law a lot is also a weird flag. The people at the top firms are not generically saying "I work in big law" just like a Harvard grad isn't going around saying "I went to an Ivy League school." There are huge variations in prestige (and $$) based on the firm and practice area. Some positions would make people far more envious too.
Money and lifestyle wise, I'd be more jealous of PE or VC spouses or of doc spouses where the specialty is lucrative with easy hours.

Lawyer here. I’ve never heard this term used outside of Internet forums.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Saying big law a lot is also a weird flag. The people at the top firms are not generically saying "I work in big law" just like a Harvard grad isn't going around saying "I went to an Ivy League school." There are huge variations in prestige (and $$) based on the firm and practice area. Some positions would make people far more envious too.
Money and lifestyle wise, I'd be more jealous of PE or VC spouses or of doc spouses where the specialty is lucrative with easy hours.

Lawyer here. I’ve never heard this term used outside of Internet forums.

I’m trying to remember how the partners identify themselves. I’m pretty sure they just they work in law or they are a lawyer. It is isn’t like they say im a partner at a biglaw firm.

Pretty sure the SAHMs of the really successful biglaw partners just say their husbands are lawyers. You go to their homes and know they must make $$$$.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Saying big law a lot is also a weird flag. The people at the top firms are not generically saying "I work in big law" just like a Harvard grad isn't going around saying "I went to an Ivy League school." There are huge variations in prestige (and $$) based on the firm and practice area. Some positions would make people far more envious too.
Money and lifestyle wise, I'd be more jealous of PE or VC spouses or of doc spouses where the specialty is lucrative with easy hours.

Lawyer here. I’ve never heard this term used outside of Internet forums.

I’m trying to remember how the partners identify themselves. I’m pretty sure they just they work in law or they are a lawyer. It is isn’t like they say im a partner at a biglaw firm.

Pretty sure the SAHMs of the really successful biglaw partners just say their husbands are lawyers. You go to their homes and know they must make $$$$.

I’m a lawyer. And I just say I’m a lawyer. If there is a follow up question I will say where.

My DH just says “I work for the government” because he hates it when people brag about being a lawyer, and his job is relatively high profile. If people follow up, he’ll just say he is a lawyer. You have to pry it out of him to find out where and his title. When people ask what my DH does, I just say he’s a lawyer.

What these wives with no career of their own are out here bragging about with regard to their spouse’s jobs is another matter altogether, though, lol. My female lawyer friends from law school, and some work friends as well, have been laughing at “the wives” for a long time (actually we usually call them “the mommies” and when they have a kid we call the kids “Mommy’s little insurance policy’).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Saying big law a lot is also a weird flag. The people at the top firms are not generically saying "I work in big law" just like a Harvard grad isn't going around saying "I went to an Ivy League school." There are huge variations in prestige (and $$) based on the firm and practice area. Some positions would make people far more envious too.
Money and lifestyle wise, I'd be more jealous of PE or VC spouses or of doc spouses where the specialty is lucrative with easy hours.

Lawyer here. I’ve never heard this term used outside of Internet forums.

I’m trying to remember how the partners identify themselves. I’m pretty sure they just they work in law or they are a lawyer. It is isn’t like they say im a partner at a biglaw firm.

Pretty sure the SAHMs of the really successful biglaw partners just say their husbands are lawyers. You go to their homes and know they must make $$$$.

I’m a lawyer. And I just say I’m a lawyer. If there is a follow up question I will say where.

My DH just says “I work for the government” because he hates it when people brag about being a lawyer, and his job is relatively high profile. If people follow up, he’ll just say he is a lawyer. You have to pry it out of him to find out where and his title. When people ask what my DH does, I just say he’s a lawyer.

What these wives with no career of their own are out here bragging about with regard to their spouse’s jobs is another matter altogether, though, lol. My female lawyer friends from law school, and some work friends as well, have been laughing at “the wives” for a long time (actually we usually call them “the mommies” and when they have a kid we call the kids “Mommy’s little insurance policy’).

That's kind of sick

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Saying big law a lot is also a weird flag. The people at the top firms are not generically saying "I work in big law" just like a Harvard grad isn't going around saying "I went to an Ivy League school." There are huge variations in prestige (and $$) based on the firm and practice area. Some positions would make people far more envious too.
Money and lifestyle wise, I'd be more jealous of PE or VC spouses or of doc spouses where the specialty is lucrative with easy hours.

Lawyer here. I’ve never heard this term used outside of Internet forums.

I’m trying to remember how the partners identify themselves. I’m pretty sure they just they work in law or they are a lawyer. It is isn’t like they say im a partner at a biglaw firm.

Pretty sure the SAHMs of the really successful biglaw partners just say their husbands are lawyers. You go to their homes and know they must make $$$$.

I’m a lawyer. And I just say I’m a lawyer. If there is a follow up question I will say where.

My DH just says “I work for the government” because he hates it when people brag about being a lawyer, and his job is relatively high profile. If people follow up, he’ll just say he is a lawyer. You have to pry it out of him to find out where and his title. When people ask what my DH does, I just say he’s a lawyer.

What these wives with no career of their own are out here bragging about with regard to their spouse’s jobs is another matter altogether, though, lol. My female lawyer friends from law school, and some work friends as well, have been laughing at “the wives” for a long time (actually we usually call them “the mommies” and when they have a kid we call the kids “Mommy’s little insurance policy’).

I was actually saying the opposite. The women of the very successful men don’t boast about their husbands at all. I don’t think being a lawyer is brag worthy in this town. The pay of the lawyers obviously vary greatly. I’m sure your husband has a great sounding job but he isn’t making $$$ being a government worker.