I was so naive re marriage, career and kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m beginning to think OP doesn’t make that much. She just works a lot. Throwing money at the problem would be easy. Instead she is just getting mad at her Dh.

Plus her kid is only 6 months old. Op has probably only been back from maternity leave for 3 months. This is still such an adjustment period.

How do you look and feel? Are you exercising? Do you ever socialize?

Planning anything for Valentine’s Day?

You should really think about why you are so upset at your Dh when he is the one taking care of your child.

Dh earns seven figures. I’m not good at housework. I am sure he thinks the house is a mess everyday. Before Covid, I had both a PT nanny and housekeeper plus I had 2 kids in elementary and 1 in preschool. I outsourced as much housework as I could because I hate doing it. I can’t imagine how pissed I would be if I were OP’s DH. He is not your man servant.

You are this baby’s mother.

Did you basically come here to say, I’m mega rich and have tons of help even though I’m a SAHM? Shame on you OP? LOL you cannot make this stuff up.

DP, but I think PP’s point was that even though she was a SAHM, her husband didn’t treat her like a servant and expect her to do all the chores and childcare by herself, the way OP treats her husband.

I don’t know where you get that feeling from OP.

As someone from a two-career household, I have no idea how OP does what she does. There is no way — NO WAY — one of us could have sat around and played video games all day on a weekend, for the first three years of our first child’s life. For one, we were both always spending time with the child. But when we weren’t doing that there was a ton of work to keep the household running and be on top of life admin. We had time for work and family and that was pretty much it! So I don’t get how the husband has this schedule, at all… that would have meant dropping a lot on the other parent in our house.

OP cooks, does laundry, does all the kid infrastructure like buying clothes and supplies, booking childcare, buying toys and looking for toddler classes…, all the shopping, plus a ton of other admin including financial. What dad works 60 hours a week and does all this? I can’t imagine any of them doing that. There is such a double standard for women on this board. It is unbelievable. Women really hold themselves back with all this “you are the Mom” and “just cut back your hours” crap.

Sorry, forgot to add — also all the cleaning, doctors appointments, and errands. Are you serious? Do you know a guy who works 60 hours and gets up to pack the baby’s stuff for daycare? I just think you guys are sh*tting on her because she is a woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP:

This is helpful and I am open to feedback and thinking about this differently.

DH asks me to do stuff all the time. It’s not unusual for us. He asked me to call our condo insurance today because he was in back to back meetings. That took me 45 minutes on the line. I did not mind that he gave me a task.

I do most of the housework when we don’t outsource. We have a cleaner every other week. The other week, I clean the bathroom and DH vaccums. I do all laundry. Almost all scheduled repairs and coordination of those. I order our groceries and supplies. Run other errands. Do the bulk of back up care when needed. Do all doctor appointments. This is because they are more flexible with hours. I do dinner / bedtime two weeknights and one day per weekend.

DH feels entitled to all this because of 2.5 hours he spends doing childcare most days week though not all.

Sounds like you need to find a right balance.

I am a decade ahead of you with 3 kids. We have known all sorts of families - 2 lawyers, 2 doctors, techies, feds, teachers with every variation of childcare.

You need to find what works for your family.

We do know some resentful spouses. Almost always it is the wife who is mad at the husband for not helping enough. This resentment can be from sahms to breadwinner biglaw partners.

You really need to outsource more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m beginning to think OP doesn’t make that much. She just works a lot. Throwing money at the problem would be easy. Instead she is just getting mad at her Dh.

Plus her kid is only 6 months old. Op has probably only been back from maternity leave for 3 months. This is still such an adjustment period.

How do you look and feel? Are you exercising? Do you ever socialize?

Planning anything for Valentine’s Day?

You should really think about why you are so upset at your Dh when he is the one taking care of your child.

Dh earns seven figures. I’m not good at housework. I am sure he thinks the house is a mess everyday. Before Covid, I had both a PT nanny and housekeeper plus I had 2 kids in elementary and 1 in preschool. I outsourced as much housework as I could because I hate doing it. I can’t imagine how pissed I would be if I were OP’s DH. He is not your man servant.

You are this baby’s mother.

Did you basically come here to say, I’m mega rich and have tons of help even though I’m a SAHM? Shame on you OP? LOL you cannot make this stuff up.

DP, but I think PP’s point was that even though she was a SAHM, her husband didn’t treat her like a servant and expect her to do all the chores and childcare by herself, the way OP treats her husband.

I don’t know where you get that feeling from OP.

As someone from a two-career household, I have no idea how OP does what she does. There is no way — NO WAY — one of us could have sat around and played video games all day on a weekend, for the first three years of our first child’s life. For one, we were both always spending time with the child. But when we weren’t doing that there was a ton of work to keep the household running and be on top of life admin. We had time for work and family and that was pretty much it! So I don’t get how the husband has this schedule, at all… that would have meant dropping a lot on the other parent in our house.

OP cooks, does laundry, does all the kid infrastructure like buying clothes and supplies, booking childcare, buying toys and looking for toddler classes…, all the shopping, plus a ton of other admin including financial. What dad works 60 hours a week and does all this? I can’t imagine any of them doing that. There is such a double standard for women on this board. It is unbelievable. Women really hold themselves back with all this “you are the Mom” and “just cut back your hours” crap.

Men who work 60 hrs marry women who stay home or work part time. They don’t expect their spouse to work 45 hours and do everything else. They have ONE child - they both should have, and deserve, time to relax on the weekend. If OP can’t make that happen with her job, that’s on her. She “cooks” for the toddler - she says above she barely eats for herself. The other things you listen either take barely any time for a toddler or are totally unnecessary (eg toddler classes….). She says she does all “repairs” - but they have a condo! It sounds like her husband does nearly all of the day-to-day childcare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m beginning to think OP doesn’t make that much. She just works a lot. Throwing money at the problem would be easy. Instead she is just getting mad at her Dh.

Plus her kid is only 6 months old. Op has probably only been back from maternity leave for 3 months. This is still such an adjustment period.

How do you look and feel? Are you exercising? Do you ever socialize?

Planning anything for Valentine’s Day?

You should really think about why you are so upset at your Dh when he is the one taking care of your child.

Dh earns seven figures. I’m not good at housework. I am sure he thinks the house is a mess everyday. Before Covid, I had both a PT nanny and housekeeper plus I had 2 kids in elementary and 1 in preschool. I outsourced as much housework as I could because I hate doing it. I can’t imagine how pissed I would be if I were OP’s DH. He is not your man servant.

You are this baby’s mother.

Did you basically come here to say, I’m mega rich and have tons of help even though I’m a SAHM? Shame on you OP? LOL you cannot make this stuff up.

DP, but I think PP’s point was that even though she was a SAHM, her husband didn’t treat her like a servant and expect her to do all the chores and childcare by herself, the way OP treats her husband.

I don’t know where you get that feeling from OP.

As someone from a two-career household, I have no idea how OP does what she does. There is no way — NO WAY — one of us could have sat around and played video games all day on a weekend, for the first three years of our first child’s life. For one, we were both always spending time with the child. But when we weren’t doing that there was a ton of work to keep the household running and be on top of life admin. We had time for work and family and that was pretty much it! So I don’t get how the husband has this schedule, at all… that would have meant dropping a lot on the other parent in our house.

OP cooks, does laundry, does all the kid infrastructure like buying clothes and supplies, booking childcare, buying toys and looking for toddler classes…, all the shopping, plus a ton of other admin including financial. What dad works 60 hours a week and does all this? I can’t imagine any of them doing that. There is such a double standard for women on this board. It is unbelievable. Women really hold themselves back with all this “you are the Mom” and “just cut back your hours” crap.

Men who work 60 hrs marry women who stay home or work part time. They don’t expect their spouse to work 45 hours and do everything else. They have ONE child - they both should have, and deserve, time to relax on the weekend. If OP can’t make that happen with her job, that’s on her. She “cooks” for the toddler - she says above she barely eats for herself. The other things you listen either take barely any time for a toddler or are totally unnecessary (eg toddler classes….). She says she does all “repairs” - but they have a condo! It sounds like her husband does nearly all of the day-to-day childcare.

You sound like a SAHM. Do you even know what you’re talking about?

Seriously, enough with the double standards! Pretty much all my friends are dual career, and the husbands pitch in. You better believe no one is on the sidelines. Some people are passionate about their careers and it is part of what makes life interesting for them. And it definitely benefits the kids as they get older and parents are role models, not just babysitters. Daughters who have a mother who works earn more and are more likely to advance to positions of leadership.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m beginning to think OP doesn’t make that much. She just works a lot. Throwing money at the problem would be easy. Instead she is just getting mad at her Dh.

Plus her kid is only 6 months old. Op has probably only been back from maternity leave for 3 months. This is still such an adjustment period.

How do you look and feel? Are you exercising? Do you ever socialize?

Planning anything for Valentine’s Day?

You should really think about why you are so upset at your Dh when he is the one taking care of your child.

Dh earns seven figures. I’m not good at housework. I am sure he thinks the house is a mess everyday. Before Covid, I had both a PT nanny and housekeeper plus I had 2 kids in elementary and 1 in preschool. I outsourced as much housework as I could because I hate doing it. I can’t imagine how pissed I would be if I were OP’s DH. He is not your man servant.

You are this baby’s mother.

Did you basically come here to say, I’m mega rich and have tons of help even though I’m a SAHM? Shame on you OP? LOL you cannot make this stuff up.

DP, but I think PP’s point was that even though she was a SAHM, her husband didn’t treat her like a servant and expect her to do all the chores and childcare by herself, the way OP treats her husband.

I don’t know where you get that feeling from OP.

As someone from a two-career household, I have no idea how OP does what she does. There is no way — NO WAY — one of us could have sat around and played video games all day on a weekend, for the first three years of our first child’s life. For one, we were both always spending time with the child. But when we weren’t doing that there was a ton of work to keep the household running and be on top of life admin. We had time for work and family and that was pretty much it! So I don’t get how the husband has this schedule, at all… that would have meant dropping a lot on the other parent in our house.

OP cooks, does laundry, does all the kid infrastructure like buying clothes and supplies, booking childcare, buying toys and looking for toddler classes…, all the shopping, plus a ton of other admin including financial. What dad works 60 hours a week and does all this? I can’t imagine any of them doing that. There is such a double standard for women on this board. It is unbelievable. Women really hold themselves back with all this “you are the Mom” and “just cut back your hours” crap.

Men who work 60 hrs marry women who stay home or work part time. They don’t expect their spouse to work 45 hours and do everything else. They have ONE child - they both should have, and deserve, time to relax on the weekend. If OP can’t make that happen with her job, that’s on her. She “cooks” for the toddler - she says above she barely eats for herself. The other things you listen either take barely any time for a toddler or are totally unnecessary (eg toddler classes….). She says she does all “repairs” - but they have a condo! It sounds like her husband does nearly all of the day-to-day childcare.

You sound like a SAHM. Do you even know what you’re talking about?

Seriously, enough with the double standards! Pretty much all my friends are dual career, and the husbands pitch in. You better believe no one is on the sidelines. Some people are passionate about their careers and it is part of what makes life interesting for them. And it definitely benefits the kids as they get older and parents are role models, not just babysitters. Daughters who have a mother who works earn more and are more likely to advance to positions of leadership.

Her husband does pitch in! Have you read the thread???? He does almost everything and OP is mad that she has to do anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m beginning to think OP doesn’t make that much. She just works a lot. Throwing money at the problem would be easy. Instead she is just getting mad at her Dh.

Plus her kid is only 6 months old. Op has probably only been back from maternity leave for 3 months. This is still such an adjustment period.

How do you look and feel? Are you exercising? Do you ever socialize?

Planning anything for Valentine’s Day?

You should really think about why you are so upset at your Dh when he is the one taking care of your child.

Dh earns seven figures. I’m not good at housework. I am sure he thinks the house is a mess everyday. Before Covid, I had both a PT nanny and housekeeper plus I had 2 kids in elementary and 1 in preschool. I outsourced as much housework as I could because I hate doing it. I can’t imagine how pissed I would be if I were OP’s DH. He is not your man servant.

You are this baby’s mother.

Did you basically come here to say, I’m mega rich and have tons of help even though I’m a SAHM? Shame on you OP? LOL you cannot make this stuff up.

DP, but I think PP’s point was that even though she was a SAHM, her husband didn’t treat her like a servant and expect her to do all the chores and childcare by herself, the way OP treats her husband.

I don’t know where you get that feeling from OP.

As someone from a two-career household, I have no idea how OP does what she does. There is no way — NO WAY — one of us could have sat around and played video games all day on a weekend, for the first three years of our first child’s life. For one, we were both always spending time with the child. But when we weren’t doing that there was a ton of work to keep the household running and be on top of life admin. We had time for work and family and that was pretty much it! So I don’t get how the husband has this schedule, at all… that would have meant dropping a lot on the other parent in our house.

OP cooks, does laundry, does all the kid infrastructure like buying clothes and supplies, booking childcare, buying toys and looking for toddler classes…, all the shopping, plus a ton of other admin including financial. What dad works 60 hours a week and does all this? I can’t imagine any of them doing that. There is such a double standard for women on this board. It is unbelievable. Women really hold themselves back with all this “you are the Mom” and “just cut back your hours” crap.

Men who work 60 hrs marry women who stay home or work part time. They don’t expect their spouse to work 45 hours and do everything else. They have ONE child - they both should have, and deserve, time to relax on the weekend. If OP can’t make that happen with her job, that’s on her. She “cooks” for the toddler - she says above she barely eats for herself. The other things you listen either take barely any time for a toddler or are totally unnecessary (eg toddler classes….). She says she does all “repairs” - but they have a condo! It sounds like her husband does nearly all of the day-to-day childcare.

+1

Gender roles aside, I don't know any family with this setup. If both people are working FT, they are splitting the daily childcare routine. Not one person doing 100% of the hands-on parenting every weekday. And then yes, they should also be splitting the various admin and mental load tasks. But it's not reasonable to expect a spouse who works FT to do ALL the childcare AND this other misc stuff. And as others point out, some like cooking (rather than buying puree) or classes are totally unnecessary. Some other things can be outsourced. This dynamic seems crazy to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m beginning to think OP doesn’t make that much. She just works a lot. Throwing money at the problem would be easy. Instead she is just getting mad at her Dh.

Plus her kid is only 6 months old. Op has probably only been back from maternity leave for 3 months. This is still such an adjustment period.

How do you look and feel? Are you exercising? Do you ever socialize?

Planning anything for Valentine’s Day?

You should really think about why you are so upset at your Dh when he is the one taking care of your child.

Dh earns seven figures. I’m not good at housework. I am sure he thinks the house is a mess everyday. Before Covid, I had both a PT nanny and housekeeper plus I had 2 kids in elementary and 1 in preschool. I outsourced as much housework as I could because I hate doing it. I can’t imagine how pissed I would be if I were OP’s DH. He is not your man servant.

You are this baby’s mother.

Did you basically come here to say, I’m mega rich and have tons of help even though I’m a SAHM? Shame on you OP? LOL you cannot make this stuff up.

DP, but I think PP’s point was that even though she was a SAHM, her husband didn’t treat her like a servant and expect her to do all the chores and childcare by herself, the way OP treats her husband.

I don’t know where you get that feeling from OP.

As someone from a two-career household, I have no idea how OP does what she does. There is no way — NO WAY — one of us could have sat around and played video games all day on a weekend, for the first three years of our first child’s life. For one, we were both always spending time with the child. But when we weren’t doing that there was a ton of work to keep the household running and be on top of life admin. We had time for work and family and that was pretty much it! So I don’t get how the husband has this schedule, at all… that would have meant dropping a lot on the other parent in our house.

OP cooks, does laundry, does all the kid infrastructure like buying clothes and supplies, booking childcare, buying toys and looking for toddler classes…, all the shopping, plus a ton of other admin including financial. What dad works 60 hours a week and does all this? I can’t imagine any of them doing that. There is such a double standard for women on this board. It is unbelievable. Women really hold themselves back with all this “you are the Mom” and “just cut back your hours” crap.

Men who work 60 hrs marry women who stay home or work part time. They don’t expect their spouse to work 45 hours and do everything else. They have ONE child - they both should have, and deserve, time to relax on the weekend. If OP can’t make that happen with her job, that’s on her. She “cooks” for the toddler - she says above she barely eats for herself. The other things you listen either take barely any time for a toddler or are totally unnecessary (eg toddler classes….). She says she does all “repairs” - but they have a condo! It sounds like her husband does nearly all of the day-to-day childcare.

+1

Gender roles aside, I don't know any family with this setup. If both people are working FT, they are splitting the daily childcare routine. Not one person doing 100% of the hands-on parenting every weekday. And then yes, they should also be splitting the various admin and mental load tasks. But it's not reasonable to expect a spouse who works FT to do ALL the childcare AND this other misc stuff. And as others point out, some like cooking (rather than buying puree) or classes are totally unnecessary. Some other things can be outsourced. This dynamic seems crazy to me.

PP: She said she does pick up / dinner / bedtime twice a week. So he does it 3 days a week.

Also she said they have a 2 year old toddler who no longer eats purées. She did also mention she orders pre made food for him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m beginning to think OP doesn’t make that much. She just works a lot. Throwing money at the problem would be easy. Instead she is just getting mad at her Dh.

Plus her kid is only 6 months old. Op has probably only been back from maternity leave for 3 months. This is still such an adjustment period.

How do you look and feel? Are you exercising? Do you ever socialize?

Planning anything for Valentine’s Day?

You should really think about why you are so upset at your Dh when he is the one taking care of your child.

Dh earns seven figures. I’m not good at housework. I am sure he thinks the house is a mess everyday. Before Covid, I had both a PT nanny and housekeeper plus I had 2 kids in elementary and 1 in preschool. I outsourced as much housework as I could because I hate doing it. I can’t imagine how pissed I would be if I were OP’s DH. He is not your man servant.

You are this baby’s mother.

Did you basically come here to say, I’m mega rich and have tons of help even though I’m a SAHM? Shame on you OP? LOL you cannot make this stuff up.

DP, but I think PP’s point was that even though she was a SAHM, her husband didn’t treat her like a servant and expect her to do all the chores and childcare by herself, the way OP treats her husband.

I don’t know where you get that feeling from OP.

As someone from a two-career household, I have no idea how OP does what she does. There is no way — NO WAY — one of us could have sat around and played video games all day on a weekend, for the first three years of our first child’s life. For one, we were both always spending time with the child. But when we weren’t doing that there was a ton of work to keep the household running and be on top of life admin. We had time for work and family and that was pretty much it! So I don’t get how the husband has this schedule, at all… that would have meant dropping a lot on the other parent in our house.

OP cooks, does laundry, does all the kid infrastructure like buying clothes and supplies, booking childcare, buying toys and looking for toddler classes…, all the shopping, plus a ton of other admin including financial. What dad works 60 hours a week and does all this? I can’t imagine any of them doing that. There is such a double standard for women on this board. It is unbelievable. Women really hold themselves back with all this “you are the Mom” and “just cut back your hours” crap.

Men who work 60 hrs marry women who stay home or work part time. They don’t expect their spouse to work 45 hours and do everything else. They have ONE child - they both should have, and deserve, time to relax on the weekend. If OP can’t make that happen with her job, that’s on her. She “cooks” for the toddler - she says above she barely eats for herself. The other things you listen either take barely any time for a toddler or are totally unnecessary (eg toddler classes….). She says she does all “repairs” - but they have a condo! It sounds like her husband does nearly all of the day-to-day childcare.

+1

Gender roles aside, I don't know any family with this setup. If both people are working FT, they are splitting the daily childcare routine. Not one person doing 100% of the hands-on parenting every weekday. And then yes, they should also be splitting the various admin and mental load tasks. But it's not reasonable to expect a spouse who works FT to do ALL the childcare AND this other misc stuff. And as others point out, some like cooking (rather than buying puree) or classes are totally unnecessary. Some other things can be outsourced. This dynamic seems crazy to me.

+2

I must say I don’t know any families with this setup either. The few families we know (with young kids) working this many hours have FT nannies. Except one that has live in grandparents! A 60ht/wk job + 45hr/wk job is not really compatible with parenting young kids without more paid help beyond typical daycare hours. Unless one or both of you wants to scale back hours, this is not going to be sustainable for your family, as individuals, or for your marriage.

[Anonymous]

Ok. I was team DH until I learned he doesn’t want OP to switch to a job with fewer hours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m beginning to think OP doesn’t make that much. She just works a lot. Throwing money at the problem would be easy. Instead she is just getting mad at her Dh.

Plus her kid is only 6 months old. Op has probably only been back from maternity leave for 3 months. This is still such an adjustment period.

How do you look and feel? Are you exercising? Do you ever socialize?

Planning anything for Valentine’s Day?

You should really think about why you are so upset at your Dh when he is the one taking care of your child.

Dh earns seven figures. I’m not good at housework. I am sure he thinks the house is a mess everyday. Before Covid, I had both a PT nanny and housekeeper plus I had 2 kids in elementary and 1 in preschool. I outsourced as much housework as I could because I hate doing it. I can’t imagine how pissed I would be if I were OP’s DH. He is not your man servant.

You are this baby’s mother.

Did you basically come here to say, I’m mega rich and have tons of help even though I’m a SAHM? Shame on you OP? LOL you cannot make this stuff up.

DP, but I think PP’s point was that even though she was a SAHM, her husband didn’t treat her like a servant and expect her to do all the chores and childcare by herself, the way OP treats her husband.

I don’t know where you get that feeling from OP.

As someone from a two-career household, I have no idea how OP does what she does. There is no way — NO WAY — one of us could have sat around and played video games all day on a weekend, for the first three years of our first child’s life. For one, we were both always spending time with the child. But when we weren’t doing that there was a ton of work to keep the household running and be on top of life admin. We had time for work and family and that was pretty much it! So I don’t get how the husband has this schedule, at all… that would have meant dropping a lot on the other parent in our house.

OP cooks, does laundry, does all the kid infrastructure like buying clothes and supplies, booking childcare, buying toys and looking for toddler classes…, all the shopping, plus a ton of other admin including financial. What dad works 60 hours a week and does all this? I can’t imagine any of them doing that. There is such a double standard for women on this board. It is unbelievable. Women really hold themselves back with all this “you are the Mom” and “just cut back your hours” crap.

Men who work 60 hrs marry women who stay home or work part time. They don’t expect their spouse to work 45 hours and do everything else. They have ONE child - they both should have, and deserve, time to relax on the weekend. If OP can’t make that happen with her job, that’s on her. She “cooks” for the toddler - she says above she barely eats for herself. The other things you listen either take barely any time for a toddler or are totally unnecessary (eg toddler classes….). She says she does all “repairs” - but they have a condo! It sounds like her husband does nearly all of the day-to-day childcare.

+1

Gender roles aside, I don't know any family with this setup. If both people are working FT, they are splitting the daily childcare routine. Not one person doing 100% of the hands-on parenting every weekday. And then yes, they should also be splitting the various admin and mental load tasks. But it's not reasonable to expect a spouse who works FT to do ALL the childcare AND this other misc stuff. And as others point out, some like cooking (rather than buying puree) or classes are totally unnecessary. Some other things can be outsourced. This dynamic seems crazy to me.

+2

I must say I don’t know any families with this setup either. The few families we know (with young kids) working this many hours have FT nannies. Except one that has live in grandparents! A 60ht/wk job + 45hr/wk job is not really compatible with parenting young kids without more paid help beyond typical daycare hours. Unless one or both of you wants to scale back hours, this is not going to be sustainable for your family, as individuals, or for your marriage.

OP Daycare is longer hours than nanny 730-6. Nanny was 830-6.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, why do you always refer to your child as only “the baby” or “the kid?”

You do realize a child is not an accessory or pet, don’t you.

NP but I don't think this is weird, it's an anonymous forum. She's not going to talk about the baby by name.

[Anonymous]

So if you hire a weekend babysitter do you ever interact with your baby? I think it might more helpful for all three of you to do family time on the weekends and hire out cooking and cleaning services.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So if you hire a weekend babysitter do you ever interact with your baby? I think it might more helpful for all three of you to do family time on the weekends and hire out cooking and cleaning services.

No, OP is not home during the week and cannot be bothered on weekends. Dad is doing everything and she's complaining he's not doing enough when she does nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, why do you always refer to your child as only “the baby” or “the kid?”

You do realize a child is not an accessory or pet, don’t you.

NP but I don't think this is weird, it's an anonymous forum. She's not going to talk about the baby by name.

It’s weird. Most people would say my son, my child, DS. The kid is a weird, disengaged way to talk about your child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So if you hire a weekend babysitter do you ever interact with your baby? I think it might more helpful for all three of you to do family time on the weekends and hire out cooking and cleaning services.

This also had me scratching my head. OP is hardly with the child- more childcare is not the answer.