Reply to I was so naive re marriage, career and kids

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m beginning to think OP doesn’t make that much. She just works a lot. Throwing money at the problem would be easy. Instead she is just getting mad at her Dh.

Plus her kid is only 6 months old. Op has probably only been back from maternity leave for 3 months. This is still such an adjustment period.

How do you look and feel? Are you exercising? Do you ever socialize?

Planning anything for Valentine’s Day?

You should really think about why you are so upset at your Dh when he is the one taking care of your child.

Dh earns seven figures. I’m not good at housework. I am sure he thinks the house is a mess everyday. Before Covid, I had both a PT nanny and housekeeper plus I had 2 kids in elementary and 1 in preschool. I outsourced as much housework as I could because I hate doing it. I can’t imagine how pissed I would be if I were OP’s DH. He is not your man servant.

You are this baby’s mother. [/quote]

Did you basically come here to say, I’m mega rich and have tons of help even though I’m a SAHM? Shame on you OP? LOL you cannot make this stuff up.[/quote]

DP, but I think PP’s point was that even though she was a SAHM, her husband didn’t treat her like a servant and expect her to do all the chores and childcare by herself, the way OP treats her husband.[/quote]

I don’t know where you get that feeling from OP.

As someone from a two-career household, I have no idea how OP does what she does. There is no way — NO WAY — one of us could have sat around and played video games all day on a weekend, for the first three years of our first child’s life. For one, we were both always spending time with the child. But when we weren’t doing that there was a ton of work to keep the household running and be on top of life admin. We had time for work and family and that was pretty much it! So I don’t get how the husband has this schedule, at all… that would have meant dropping a lot on the other parent in our house.

OP cooks, does laundry, does all the kid infrastructure like buying clothes and supplies, booking childcare, buying toys and looking for toddler classes…, all the shopping, plus a ton of other admin including financial. What dad works 60 hours a week and does all this? I can’t imagine any of them doing that. There is such a double standard for women on this board. It is unbelievable. Women really hold themselves back with all this “you are the Mom” and “just cut back your hours” crap.[/quote]

Men who work 60 hrs marry women who stay home or work part time. They don’t expect their spouse to work 45 hours and do everything else. They have ONE child - they both should have, and deserve, time to relax on the weekend. If OP can’t make that happen with her job, that’s on her. She “cooks” for the toddler - she says above she barely eats for herself. The other things you listen either take barely any time for a toddler or are totally unnecessary (eg toddler classes….). She says she does all “repairs” - but they have a condo! It sounds like her husband does nearly all of the day-to-day childcare.[/quote]

Gender roles aside, I don't know any family with this setup. If both people are working FT, they are splitting the daily childcare routine. Not one person doing 100% of the hands-on parenting every weekday. And then yes, they should also be splitting the various admin and mental load tasks. But it's not reasonable to expect a spouse who works FT to do ALL the childcare AND this other misc stuff. And as others point out, some like cooking (rather than buying puree) or classes are totally unnecessary. Some other things can be outsourced. This dynamic seems crazy to me.[/quote]

PP: She said she does pick up / dinner / bedtime twice a week. So he does it 3 days a week.

Also she said they have a 2 year old toddler who no longer eats purées. She did also mention she orders pre made food for him. [/quote]

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