I was so naive re marriage, career and kids

[Anonymous]

i feel sorry for the kid

[Anonymous]

I’m beginning to think OP doesn’t make that much. She just works a lot. Throwing money at the problem would be easy. Instead she is just getting mad at her Dh.

Plus her kid is only 6 months old. Op has probably only been back from maternity leave for 3 months. This is still such an adjustment period.

How do you look and feel? Are you exercising? Do you ever socialize?

Planning anything for Valentine’s Day?

You should really think about why you are so upset at your Dh when he is the one taking care of your child.

Dh earns seven figures. I’m not good at housework. I am sure he thinks the house is a mess everyday. Before Covid, I had both a PT nanny and housekeeper plus I had 2 kids in elementary and 1 in preschool. I outsourced as much housework as I could because I hate doing it. I can’t imagine how pissed I would be if I were OP’s DH. He is not your man servant.

You are this baby’s mother.

[Anonymous]

just going to leave this here again...

... 60 hours is too many a week with a young kid.

the end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m beginning to think OP doesn’t make that much. She just works a lot. Throwing money at the problem would be easy. Instead she is just getting mad at her Dh.

Plus her kid is only 6 months old. Op has probably only been back from maternity leave for 3 months. This is still such an adjustment period.

How do you look and feel? Are you exercising? Do you ever socialize?

Planning anything for Valentine’s Day?

You should really think about why you are so upset at your Dh when he is the one taking care of your child.

Dh earns seven figures. I’m not good at housework. I am sure he thinks the house is a mess everyday. Before Covid, I had both a PT nanny and housekeeper plus I had 2 kids in elementary and 1 in preschool. I outsourced as much housework as I could because I hate doing it. I can’t imagine how pissed I would be if I were OP’s DH. He is not your man servant.

You are this baby’s mother.

Did you basically come here to say, I’m mega rich and have tons of help even though I’m a SAHM? Shame on you OP? LOL you cannot make this stuff up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hope you are making 400k/year of not time to re evaluate your priorities op

These is no amount of money that would make me leave my child for that long every day. I cannot wrap my head around that level of selfishness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m beginning to think OP doesn’t make that much. She just works a lot. Throwing money at the problem would be easy. Instead she is just getting mad at her Dh.

Plus her kid is only 6 months old. Op has probably only been back from maternity leave for 3 months. This is still such an adjustment period.

How do you look and feel? Are you exercising? Do you ever socialize?

Planning anything for Valentine’s Day?

You should really think about why you are so upset at your Dh when he is the one taking care of your child.

Dh earns seven figures. I’m not good at housework. I am sure he thinks the house is a mess everyday. Before Covid, I had both a PT nanny and housekeeper plus I had 2 kids in elementary and 1 in preschool. I outsourced as much housework as I could because I hate doing it. I can’t imagine how pissed I would be if I were OP’s DH. He is not your man servant.

You are this baby’s mother.

Did you basically come here to say, I’m mega rich and have tons of help even though I’m a SAHM? Shame on you OP? LOL you cannot make this stuff up.

DP, but I think PP’s point was that even though she was a SAHM, her husband didn’t treat her like a servant and expect her to do all the chores and childcare by herself, the way OP treats her husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m beginning to think OP doesn’t make that much. She just works a lot. Throwing money at the problem would be easy. Instead she is just getting mad at her Dh.

Plus her kid is only 6 months old. Op has probably only been back from maternity leave for 3 months. This is still such an adjustment period.

How do you look and feel? Are you exercising? Do you ever socialize?

Planning anything for Valentine’s Day?

You should really think about why you are so upset at your Dh when he is the one taking care of your child.

Dh earns seven figures. I’m not good at housework. I am sure he thinks the house is a mess everyday. Before Covid, I had both a PT nanny and housekeeper plus I had 2 kids in elementary and 1 in preschool. I outsourced as much housework as I could because I hate doing it. I can’t imagine how pissed I would be if I were OP’s DH. He is not your man servant.

You are this baby’s mother.

Did you basically come here to say, I’m mega rich and have tons of help even though I’m a SAHM? Shame on you OP? LOL you cannot make this stuff up.

I’m saying I would lose my shit at Dh if he worked late AND he called me to give me tasks to do. Dh doesn’t give me tasks though.

We may be rich now but we used to be dual working parents with student loans. I remember sobbing because I only had one set of pump parts and 2 sheets for our bed only. Baby would spit up or have accidents on our bed often and I wouldn’t have clean sheets to put on the bed. I bought 5 sets of pump parts and probably 3-4 sets of sheets. You can always throw money at the problem.

Even though we can afford clothes, I have a friend who gives me her daughter’s hand me downs. So much is pretty much new and the girl has an incredible amount of items. I think my friend gave me 30 pairs of leggings. I asked her why she had so many and she said laundry stressed her out and she never wanted to run out of pants for her daughter.

OP needs to outsource more and/or buy more stuff so she isn’t in dire need to do laundry or she needs to work less. She should probably do all 3.

[Anonymous]

OP:

This is helpful and I am open to feedback and thinking about this differently.

DH asks me to do stuff all the time. It’s not unusual for us. He asked me to call our condo insurance today because he was in back to back meetings. That took me 45 minutes on the line. I did not mind that he gave me a task.

I do most of the housework when we don’t outsource. We have a cleaner every other week. The other week, I clean the bathroom and DH vaccums. I do all laundry. Almost all scheduled repairs and coordination of those. I order our groceries and supplies. Run other errands. Do the bulk of back up care when needed. Do all doctor appointments. This is because they are more flexible with hours. I do dinner / bedtime two weeknights and one day per weekend.

DH feels entitled to all this because of 2.5 hours he spends doing childcare most days week though not all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m beginning to think OP doesn’t make that much. She just works a lot. Throwing money at the problem would be easy. Instead she is just getting mad at her Dh.

Plus her kid is only 6 months old. Op has probably only been back from maternity leave for 3 months. This is still such an adjustment period.

How do you look and feel? Are you exercising? Do you ever socialize?

Planning anything for Valentine’s Day?

You should really think about why you are so upset at your Dh when he is the one taking care of your child.

Dh earns seven figures. I’m not good at housework. I am sure he thinks the house is a mess everyday. Before Covid, I had both a PT nanny and housekeeper plus I had 2 kids in elementary and 1 in preschool. I outsourced as much housework as I could because I hate doing it. I can’t imagine how pissed I would be if I were OP’s DH. He is not your man servant.

You are this baby’s mother.

OP: I don’t make as much as your husband.

I look good because I am naturally skinny and dont prioritize meals. I never exercise because I don’t have time. I feel crappy because I am always so tired.

I hate to cook as well. Only reason I do it is because of the baby.

We have dates rarely.

[Anonymous]

‘I feel crappy because I am always tired’ AND ‘I work 60 hours per week’
Time to cut back the hours or your body will find the way to slow you down anyway

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:‘I feel crappy because I am always tired’ AND ‘I work 60 hours per week’
Time to cut back the hours or your body will find the way to slow you down anyway

OP: I like my job overall and the income is helpful. My husband is not supportive of my taking a lower paid job to have fewer hours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:‘I feel crappy because I am always tired’ AND ‘I work 60 hours per week’
Time to cut back the hours or your body will find the way to slow you down anyway

OP: I like my job overall. The income is also helpful. My husband is definitely not supportive of my taking a lower paid job to get fewer hours. We have discussed this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:‘I feel crappy because I am always tired’ AND ‘I work 60 hours per week’
Time to cut back the hours or your body will find the way to slow you down anyway

OP: I like my job overall. The income is also helpful. My husband is definitely not supportive of my taking a lower paid job to get fewer hours. We have discussed this.

Why don’t you outsource more?

Do you want to have more kids in the future?

[Anonymous]

What do you do, OP? Are you a lawyer?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m beginning to think OP doesn’t make that much. She just works a lot. Throwing money at the problem would be easy. Instead she is just getting mad at her Dh.

Plus her kid is only 6 months old. Op has probably only been back from maternity leave for 3 months. This is still such an adjustment period.

How do you look and feel? Are you exercising? Do you ever socialize?

Planning anything for Valentine’s Day?

You should really think about why you are so upset at your Dh when he is the one taking care of your child.

Dh earns seven figures. I’m not good at housework. I am sure he thinks the house is a mess everyday. Before Covid, I had both a PT nanny and housekeeper plus I had 2 kids in elementary and 1 in preschool. I outsourced as much housework as I could because I hate doing it. I can’t imagine how pissed I would be if I were OP’s DH. He is not your man servant.

You are this baby’s mother.

Did you basically come here to say, I’m mega rich and have tons of help even though I’m a SAHM? Shame on you OP? LOL you cannot make this stuff up.

DP, but I think PP’s point was that even though she was a SAHM, her husband didn’t treat her like a servant and expect her to do all the chores and childcare by herself, the way OP treats her husband.

I don’t know where you get that feeling from OP.

As someone from a two-career household, I have no idea how OP does what she does. There is no way — NO WAY — one of us could have sat around and played video games all day on a weekend, for the first three years of our first child’s life. For one, we were both always spending time with the child. But when we weren’t doing that there was a ton of work to keep the household running and be on top of life admin. We had time for work and family and that was pretty much it! So I don’t get how the husband has this schedule, at all… that would have meant dropping a lot on the other parent in our house.

OP cooks, does laundry, does all the kid infrastructure like buying clothes and supplies, booking childcare, buying toys and looking for toddler classes…, all the shopping, plus a ton of other admin including financial. What dad works 60 hours a week and does all this? I can’t imagine any of them doing that. There is such a double standard for women on this board. It is unbelievable. Women really hold themselves back with all this “you are the Mom” and “just cut back your hours” crap.