Van Lifer couple camping in Utah national park - two weeks later fiancee arrives in FL alone

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After watching both police videos, I shake my head how the police could not see what a con artist Brian was. Look at his body language, how he seems so hyper, apologized over and over while nervously making little jokes. Didn’t those cops ever see Chris Watts body language after his wife/kids went “missing?” Same body language, smiling while playing a part. Brian was displaying sociopathic vibes like Chris was. And hopefully will share the same fate too.
I watch these videos of Gabby basically crying out to whoever will listen. So many cries for help.
I want to tell her, Gabby leave him at the hotel. Let him have a hot shower and a real bed to sleep in. Meanwhile get in the van and drive, drive all night if you can. Go home to your parents. Let Brian figure out the rest after his little free mini-vaca. The Bowen Hotel ain’t too bad.

Hindsight is 20/20. The cops surely see a lot of nervous, apologetic people. They did their job and separated the two to cool down for the night. They listened to Gabby, but they aren’t psychologists, social workers, or psychics. There are limits to what they are allowed to do, especially since Brian was the one sporting scratches, and Gabby didn’t in fact “cry for help.”

+1

+2. Exactly. Sad if anyone loses their job over this.

In a world with no training in domestic violence maybe. It’s pretty much domestic violence 101 that an abused woman will not admit abuse to strangers. Also that abusers are liars. Which is why the initial report from a neutral third party that he was hitting her should have guided all subsequent police action.

I don't get it that Brian is labeled as a domestic abuser. Where are the bruises on Gabby? It looks like that girl took so many pictures of herself that surely, there would some indication of his previous abusing behavior.

Listen, I think this guy is a dirt bag for what he did after she disappeared but that doesn't make him an abuser. Save that terms for dudes who actually abuse. Brian is just a low life dirt bag with no conscious.

Abuse is not necessarily just physical, PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She was killed 2 weeks after the police encounter. What were the police supposed to do with her to prevent that from happening 2 weeks later? They separated them. She went right back to him within 12 hours.

The people who failed her were her parents and friends. They were the ones who had any chance of getting her to wise up and leave this looser. If I was her mom or dad I'd be on an airplane the day of that call with the police. When I was growing up, my dad did crazy stuff like that for me. When I was in graduate school (early 20s) he once drove 12 hours straight to help me move out of a bad situation. He just got in the car, arrived and helped me get my sh%t together. That's what parents are supposed to do, even with young 20 somethings. And friends too. Where were her friends in this? They had to have known that she was dating a verbally abusive loser.

100 %

100% agree re the parents. Haven't followed this closely enough - did her parents know that she had an encounter with police/that he hit her or grabbed her and they were spotted and the cops were called? Like is that something she told parents? If yes then yeah they needed to be on the next flight out there.

As for friends I've heard talk that neither of them had very many friends and were all about each other; makes sense if it was an abusive relationship - I feel like he'd def try to separate her from her friends so no one would know what her relationship was really like. And just logistically she grew up in Long Island but then seems like she moved down to Fla and live with him. IDK what she was doing in Fla if anything (I haven't heard re school or a job), it kind of seems like she didn't know anyone in Fla besides him and his family and it's possible she sort of dropped/phased out of her friendships in NY because she moved away and/or he was encouraging her not to keep in touch with friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After watching both police videos, I shake my head how the police could not see what a con artist Brian was. Look at his body language, how he seems so hyper, apologized over and over while nervously making little jokes. Didn’t those cops ever see Chris Watts body language after his wife/kids went “missing?” Same body language, smiling while playing a part. Brian was displaying sociopathic vibes like Chris was. And hopefully will share the same fate too.
I watch these videos of Gabby basically crying out to whoever will listen. So many cries for help.
I want to tell her, Gabby leave him at the hotel. Let him have a hot shower and a real bed to sleep in. Meanwhile get in the van and drive, drive all night if you can. Go home to your parents. Let Brian figure out the rest after his little free mini-vaca. The Bowen Hotel ain’t too bad.

Hindsight is 20/20. The cops surely see a lot of nervous, apologetic people. They did their job and separated the two to cool down for the night. They listened to Gabby, but they aren’t psychologists, social workers, or psychics. There are limits to what they are allowed to do, especially since Brian was the one sporting scratches, and Gabby didn’t in fact “cry for help.”

+1

+2. Exactly. Sad if anyone loses their job over this.

In a world with no training in domestic violence maybe. It’s pretty much domestic violence 101 that an abused woman will not admit abuse to strangers. Also that abusers are liars. Which is why the initial report from a neutral third party that he was hitting her should have guided all subsequent police action.

I don't get it that Brian is labeled as a domestic abuser. Where are the bruises on Gabby? It looks like that girl took so many pictures of herself that surely, there would some indication of his previous abusing behavior.

Listen, I think this guy is a dirt bag for what he did after she disappeared but that doesn't make him an abuser. Save that terms for dudes who actually abuse. Brian is just a low life dirt bag with no conscious.

Abuse is not necessarily just physical, PP.

+1. Plus, she's dead. He murdered her. A non-abusive guy just suddenly murders his wife? What are the odds that he wasn't abusive?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She was killed 2 weeks after the police encounter. What were the police supposed to do with her to prevent that from happening 2 weeks later? They separated them. She went right back to him within 12 hours.

The people who failed her were her parents and friends. They were the ones who had any chance of getting her to wise up and leave this looser. If I was her mom or dad I'd be on an airplane the day of that call with the police. When I was growing up, my dad did crazy stuff like that for me. When I was in graduate school (early 20s) he once drove 12 hours straight to help me move out of a bad situation. He just got in the car, arrived and helped me get my sh%t together. That's what parents are supposed to do, even with young 20 somethings. And friends too. Where were her friends in this? They had to have known that she was dating a verbally abusive loser.

100 %

I missed the part where they called her parents and told them she was being abused

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I watched the bodycam video very early on and was one of the few people in this thread who thought she definitely was a victim and that Brian was definitely the abuser-- just based on their statements and behavior.

But cops aren't in the business of reading into situations to find the deeper truths. They are in the business of enforcing the law. Gabby was claiming fault for everything that went wrong between her and Brian, and Brian was saying a lot of words that didn't form a cohesive message. You can't form an actual case against Brian based on your biases. And my read of the situation comes from biases based on my interactions with DV victims and abusers, and my own experiences with DV. Victims see themselves as completely at fault so its not easy for cops to make a case.

I really don't blame the cops. Yes, they said some misogynistic stuff but we live In a misogynistic world, and it's unrealistic to think that cops will be anything other than normal and average when it comes to enlightened thinking about gender (and race). They spent over an hour with Gabby and Brian and did what they felt they could to de-escalate.

People who deal with domestic violence more than the average person are trained to recognize typical abuser behavior (lie and play victim) and typical victim behavior (deny abuse) Just because the posters here seem to be clueless doesn’t mean people trained to recognized domestic violence also get to play clueless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She was killed 2 weeks after the police encounter. What were the police supposed to do with her to prevent that from happening 2 weeks later? They separated them. She went right back to him within 12 hours.

The people who failed her were her parents and friends. They were the ones who had any chance of getting her to wise up and leave this looser. If I was her mom or dad I'd be on an airplane the day of that call with the police. When I was growing up, my dad did crazy stuff like that for me. When I was in graduate school (early 20s) he once drove 12 hours straight to help me move out of a bad situation. He just got in the car, arrived and helped me get my sh%t together. That's what parents are supposed to do, even with young 20 somethings. And friends too. Where were her friends in this? They had to have known that she was dating a verbally abusive loser.

Wrong.

The person who failed her was her fiancé. Then after that his parents.

No offense, but it doesn’t sound like they were really engaged.

Okay, let's stick to the important stuff instead of petty nonsense.

Yes what is happening with Dog?

Oh, he's a follow-on-er looking for another 15 minutes of fame.

Yeah the more attention Dog gets the less likely people are to continue looking for Brian Landerie. People will have bystander effect and assume between Dog, FBI and Police that they’ve got a hold of where he is and stop paying attention everywhere else.

There are people who are more willing to talk to Dog than LE, so his involvement could be beneficial. Ditto John Walsh and Co.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She was killed 2 weeks after the police encounter. What were the police supposed to do with her to prevent that from happening 2 weeks later? They separated them. She went right back to him within 12 hours.

The people who failed her were her parents and friends. They were the ones who had any chance of getting her to wise up and leave this looser. If I was her mom or dad I'd be on an airplane the day of that call with the police. When I was growing up, my dad did crazy stuff like that for me. When I was in graduate school (early 20s) he once drove 12 hours straight to help me move out of a bad situation. He just got in the car, arrived and helped me get my sh%t together. That's what parents are supposed to do, even with young 20 somethings. And friends too. Where were her friends in this? They had to have known that she was dating a verbally abusive loser.

Wrong.

The person who failed her was her fiancé. Then after that his parents.

No offense, but it doesn’t sound like they were really engaged.

Okay, let's stick to the important stuff instead of petty nonsense.

Yes what is happening with Dog?

Oh, he's a follow-on-er looking for another 15 minutes of fame.

Yeah the more attention Dog gets the less likely people are to continue looking for Brian Landerie. People will have bystander effect and assume between Dog, FBI and Police that they’ve got a hold of where he is and stop paying attention everywhere else.

There are people who are more willing to talk to Dog than LE, so his involvement could be beneficial. Ditto John Walsh and Co.

This cannot be said enough. Former LEO here. Dog gets dirty, and he can do that with dirty people. Fed LE can't. If I had to guess, BL will probably be turned in and arrested, but we will either never know who made that call, or it will be someone "we" don't like.

[Anonymous]

For all the people saying her friends and family should have done something--what exactly could they have done? She's not a minor. It's tragic. I've been a similar situation where I was trying to look out for a friend in abusive situation. Ultimately, my hands were tied, she was an adult and made the decision to stay. This is all part of the cycle of the abuse.

I think it makes us feel better to say the parents should have done x or this is on them. As horrible as it is, this could happen to anyone. Sometimes terrible bad unfair awful things happen. That is part of life. We have less control than we think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
For all the people saying her friends and family should have done something--what exactly could they have done? She's not a minor. It's tragic. I've been a similar situation where I was trying to look out for a friend in abusive situation. Ultimately, my hands were tied, she was an adult and made the decision to stay. This is all part of the cycle of the abuse.

I think it makes us feel better to say the parents should have done x or this is on them. As horrible as it is, this could happen to anyone. Sometimes terrible bad unfair awful things happen. That is part of life. We have less control than we think.

IDK what the parents even knew? Like have people heard that she was calling mom and saying - bf and I have been fighting, he slaps me, tries to grab my phone away, push me out of the car etc?? I haven't heard this at all. She's thousands of miles away and all they're getting from her is occasional texts/calls saying - omg Moab was sooo beautiful - and seeing this perfectly curated trip on IG. How would the parents have known?

As for friends, people are saying that they really stuck to themselves and had very few friends. That seems to be abuser 101 - separate the woman from her friends, fill her head with ideas of how bad they are, how she doesn't need them, it's you and me against the world babe. So IDK if she even had any friends that she was close enough with to share that she and Brian were fighting and he gets physical with her. And reality is at 22 with this kind of thing, you'd totally see a friend speaking out to the media - bc they knew something or even just for 15 min of fame. She's only 22 - in normal cases you'd hear from a college roommate or high school or college best friend - oh she reached out to me when she was at X on her trip or we spoke right before she was leaving or whatever, and we've heard NONE of that. We've literally heard no one speak besides mom, dad, stepdad, and I think she has 2 siblings. I think the circle was pretty small and I'm guess Brian had something to do with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
For all the people saying her friends and family should have done something--what exactly could they have done? She's not a minor. It's tragic. I've been a similar situation where I was trying to look out for a friend in abusive situation. Ultimately, my hands were tied, she was an adult and made the decision to stay. This is all part of the cycle of the abuse.

I think it makes us feel better to say the parents should have done x or this is on them. As horrible as it is, this could happen to anyone. Sometimes terrible bad unfair awful things happen. That is part of life. We have less control than we think.

IDK what the parents even knew? Like have people heard that she was calling mom and saying - bf and I have been fighting, he slaps me, tries to grab my phone away, push me out of the car etc?? I haven't heard this at all. She's thousands of miles away and all they're getting from her is occasional texts/calls saying - omg Moab was sooo beautiful - and seeing this perfectly curated trip on IG. How would the parents have known?

As for friends, people are saying that they really stuck to themselves and had very few friends. That seems to be abuser 101 - separate the woman from her friends, fill her head with ideas of how bad they are, how she doesn't need them, it's you and me against the world babe. So IDK if she even had any friends that she was close enough with to share that she and Brian were fighting and he gets physical with her. And reality is at 22 with this kind of thing, you'd totally see a friend speaking out to the media - bc they knew something or even just for 15 min of fame. She's only 22 - in normal cases you'd hear from a college roommate or high school or college best friend - oh she reached out to me when she was at X on her trip or we spoke right before she was leaving or whatever, and we've heard NONE of that. We've literally heard no one speak besides mom, dad, stepdad, and I think she has 2 siblings. I think the circle was pretty small and I'm guess Brian had something to do with that.

This is the cautionary tale right here of telling our daughters they MUST have a few people they can confide in. I get it when you're 22, you want your relationship to seem perfect (esp these days when everything must be insta perfect). You don't want to tell mom or dad anything negative about your fiancé bc he'll be part of your family and they'll forever hate him. But my god don't protect your boyfriends/fiancés this much. Confide in mom or stepdad or brother or whoever and if they hate him, they hate him at least you know they have YOUR back. And if anyone tries to get you to dump your friends or even distance yourself/not contact them as much, view that as a major red flag . . . . Like how many moms/dads tell their daughters this stuff this directly?? I feel like my parents talked to me about it when I was a LOT older - like mid 20s at least - and only bc cases like this would come up in conversation and then they'd let me know I could call anytime, anyplace, I wasn't too old to need their help, I should never let a guy tell me to ditch friends I like etc. Like we should be drilling this into women starting into high school.

[Anonymous]

I am sitting here, literally shaking my head.

I am amazed that responses on here are actually defending the police (from August 12th) on this thread.
It is so blatantly obvious to me that the situation in Utah was littered w/mistake after mistake.

Cops should have zeroed in on Brian a little more.
They should have seen right through his transparency but they could not.
Even a typical layman can see he is nervous (& thus hyper), overapologetic, while at the same time minimizing the situation while seeming so indifferent to Gabby’s apparent distress.

Gabby was bawling the entire time.
She kept blaming herself for everything + admitted that she was not taking any medication for her mental issues.

Yet Brian got a free night’s stay in a hotel while the most Gabby received from the cops was a list of places that she could….rather should go to get a four-dollar shower to “cool off, relax and decompress.”
Because that is what helped the officer’s own wife - it would help Gabby as well.
Ha!!
Unfortunately anxiety is a huge mental issue and it takes more than one relaxing shower to help it.

I agree that cops either should be required to get more training on how to best deal w/DV or the police department should hire people who have solid DV skills both through education as well as experience.
Hopefully Gabby’s death will shine a light on how incompetently the current protocols for DV are so screwed up!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
For all the people saying her friends and family should have done something--what exactly could they have done? She's not a minor. It's tragic. I've been a similar situation where I was trying to look out for a friend in abusive situation. Ultimately, my hands were tied, she was an adult and made the decision to stay. This is all part of the cycle of the abuse.

I think it makes us feel better to say the parents should have done x or this is on them. As horrible as it is, this could happen to anyone. Sometimes terrible bad unfair awful things happen. That is part of life. We have less control than we think.

IDK what the parents even knew? Like have people heard that she was calling mom and saying - bf and I have been fighting, he slaps me, tries to grab my phone away, push me out of the car etc?? I haven't heard this at all. She's thousands of miles away and all they're getting from her is occasional texts/calls saying - omg Moab was sooo beautiful - and seeing this perfectly curated trip on IG. How would the parents have known?

As for friends, people are saying that they really stuck to themselves and had very few friends. That seems to be abuser 101 - separate the woman from her friends, fill her head with ideas of how bad they are, how she doesn't need them, it's you and me against the world babe. So IDK if she even had any friends that she was close enough with to share that she and Brian were fighting and he gets physical with her. And reality is at 22 with this kind of thing, you'd totally see a friend speaking out to the media - bc they knew something or even just for 15 min of fame. She's only 22 - in normal cases you'd hear from a college roommate or high school or college best friend - oh she reached out to me when she was at X on her trip or we spoke right before she was leaving or whatever, and we've heard NONE of that. We've literally heard no one speak besides mom, dad, stepdad, and I think she has 2 siblings. I think the circle was pretty small and I'm guess Brian had something to do with that.

Her friend Rose Davis has done interviews and has spoken! Gabby was supposed to meet up with Rose shortly after Utah. It was planned ahead. You are right that Brian had something to do with isolating Gabby. Rose said that back in Florida, Brian was extremely controlling. eg. He would hide Gabby's id so she couldn't go dancing with Rose. He would pick Gabby up instead of letting her get home on her own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
For all the people saying her friends and family should have done something--what exactly could they have done? She's not a minor. It's tragic. I've been a similar situation where I was trying to look out for a friend in abusive situation. Ultimately, my hands were tied, she was an adult and made the decision to stay. This is all part of the cycle of the abuse.

I think it makes us feel better to say the parents should have done x or this is on them. As horrible as it is, this could happen to anyone. Sometimes terrible bad unfair awful things happen. That is part of life. We have less control than we think.

IDK what the parents even knew? Like have people heard that she was calling mom and saying - bf and I have been fighting, he slaps me, tries to grab my phone away, push me out of the car etc?? I haven't heard this at all. She's thousands of miles away and all they're getting from her is occasional texts/calls saying - omg Moab was sooo beautiful - and seeing this perfectly curated trip on IG. How would the parents have known?

As for friends, people are saying that they really stuck to themselves and had very few friends. That seems to be abuser 101 - separate the woman from her friends, fill her head with ideas of how bad they are, how she doesn't need them, it's you and me against the world babe. So IDK if she even had any friends that she was close enough with to share that she and Brian were fighting and he gets physical with her. And reality is at 22 with this kind of thing, you'd totally see a friend speaking out to the media - bc they knew something or even just for 15 min of fame. She's only 22 - in normal cases you'd hear from a college roommate or high school or college best friend - oh she reached out to me when she was at X on her trip or we spoke right before she was leaving or whatever, and we've heard NONE of that. We've literally heard no one speak besides mom, dad, stepdad, and I think she has 2 siblings. I think the circle was pretty small and I'm guess Brian had something to do with that.

Her friend Rose Davis has done interviews and has spoken! Gabby was supposed to meet up with Rose shortly after Utah. It was planned ahead. You are right that Brian had something to do with isolating Gabby. Rose said that back in Florida, Brian was extremely controlling. eg. He would hide Gabby's id so she couldn't go dancing with Rose. He would pick Gabby up instead of letting her get home on her own.

This is old news going back many pages.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
For all the people saying her friends and family should have done something--what exactly could they have done? She's not a minor. It's tragic. I've been a similar situation where I was trying to look out for a friend in abusive situation. Ultimately, my hands were tied, she was an adult and made the decision to stay. This is all part of the cycle of the abuse.

I think it makes us feel better to say the parents should have done x or this is on them. As horrible as it is, this could happen to anyone. Sometimes terrible bad unfair awful things happen. That is part of life. We have less control than we think.

IDK what the parents even knew? Like have people heard that she was calling mom and saying - bf and I have been fighting, he slaps me, tries to grab my phone away, push me out of the car etc?? I haven't heard this at all. She's thousands of miles away and all they're getting from her is occasional texts/calls saying - omg Moab was sooo beautiful - and seeing this perfectly curated trip on IG. How would the parents have known?

As for friends, people are saying that they really stuck to themselves and had very few friends. That seems to be abuser 101 - separate the woman from her friends, fill her head with ideas of how bad they are, how she doesn't need them, it's you and me against the world babe. So IDK if she even had any friends that she was close enough with to share that she and Brian were fighting and he gets physical with her. And reality is at 22 with this kind of thing, you'd totally see a friend speaking out to the media - bc they knew something or even just for 15 min of fame. She's only 22 - in normal cases you'd hear from a college roommate or high school or college best friend - oh she reached out to me when she was at X on her trip or we spoke right before she was leaving or whatever, and we've heard NONE of that. We've literally heard no one speak besides mom, dad, stepdad, and I think she has 2 siblings. I think the circle was pretty small and I'm guess Brian had something to do with that.

Her friend Rose Davis has done interviews and has spoken! Gabby was supposed to meet up with Rose shortly after Utah. It was planned ahead. You are right that Brian had something to do with isolating Gabby. Rose said that back in Florida, Brian was extremely controlling. eg. He would hide Gabby's id so she couldn't go dancing with Rose. He would pick Gabby up instead of letting her get home on her own.

This is old news going back many pages.

Yup, but pp says we've heard from no one, so I wanted to correct that little piece of old news

[Anonymous]

I think that it is unfair to blame Gabby’s family for not assisting her w/her troubled relationship issues.

She was twenty-two years old > definitely old enough to make her own, independent decisions on the trajectory of her life.
Plus it doesn’t appear that anyone in Gabby’s family even knew of what a monster her fiancé was.

Ideally Gabby should have left Brian in Utah after he was situated in his hotel room.
She should have taken her van & just got the HE🏒🏒 away from that loser.

But love (especially young love) is so blind + I just feel it is so unfair to hold her family responsible for her tragic fate.
I am sure that they likely are dealing w/so many mixed emotions every single second. 😢