Van Lifer couple camping in Utah national park - two weeks later fiancee arrives in FL alone

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sadly, at the end of the day, it’s pretty difficult to help someone who doesn’t want or isn’t ready for help. She could have said so many things to the police or her parents there that she didn’t say. She absolutely did not deserve what happened to her, but people are not mind readers. It’s really easy after the fact to say what you would have done.

People who had received proper training in domestic violence and followed that training would have been far more use to her than what she received. The police knew that an eyewitness had reported seen him hitting her multiple times — no need for mind reading. The lengths some of you go to defend incompetence is quite something.

Actually, this isn’t true. There were apparently two separate calls and we don’t know if the officers on the scene knew about the reports of him hitting her. They were responding to a separate call that she hit him. Yes, more training in recognizing and dealing with domestic violence would be great, totally agree. But no one should lose their job over this!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sadly, at the end of the day, it’s pretty difficult to help someone who doesn’t want or isn’t ready for help. She could have said so many things to the police or her parents there that she didn’t say. She absolutely did not deserve what happened to her, but people are not mind readers. It’s really easy after the fact to say what you would have done.

People who had received proper training in domestic violence and followed that training would have been far more use to her than what she received. The police knew that an eyewitness had reported seen him hitting her multiple times — no need for mind reading. The lengths some of you go to defend incompetence is quite something.

Actually, this isn’t true. There were apparently two separate calls and we don’t know if the officers on the scene knew about the reports of him hitting her. They were responding to a separate call that she hit him. Yes, more training in recognizing and dealing with domestic violence would be great, totally agree. But no one should lose their job over this!

The second body cam video released shows that the officers knew about both calls. They tell Gabby that a witness saw Brian slap her and she denies it or minimizes it (“he grabbed my face, he didn’t hit me).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sadly, at the end of the day, it’s pretty difficult to help someone who doesn’t want or isn’t ready for help. She could have said so many things to the police or her parents there that she didn’t say. She absolutely did not deserve what happened to her, but people are not mind readers. It’s really easy after the fact to say what you would have done.

People who had received proper training in domestic violence and followed that training would have been far more use to her than what she received. The police knew that an eyewitness had reported seen him hitting her multiple times — no need for mind reading. The lengths some of you go to defend incompetence is quite something.

Actually, this isn’t true. There were apparently two separate calls and we don’t know if the officers on the scene knew about the reports of him hitting her. They were responding to a separate call that she hit him. Yes, more training in recognizing and dealing with domestic violence would be great, totally agree. But no one should lose their job over this!

The second body cam video released shows that the officers knew about both calls. They tell Gabby that a witness saw Brian slap her and she denies it or minimizes it (“he grabbed my face, he didn’t hit me).

Ok thanks for clarifying. In that case, not sure what else the cops were supposed to do? Even if they had sent her to a hotel and arranged for a mental health or social work consult, it sounds like she would have continued the trip?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sadly, at the end of the day, it’s pretty difficult to help someone who doesn’t want or isn’t ready for help. She could have said so many things to the police or her parents there that she didn’t say. She absolutely did not deserve what happened to her, but people are not mind readers. It’s really easy after the fact to say what you would have done.

People who had received proper training in domestic violence and followed that training would have been far more use to her than what she received. The police knew that an eyewitness had reported seen him hitting her multiple times — no need for mind reading. The lengths some of you go to defend incompetence is quite something.

Actually, this isn’t true. There were apparently two separate calls and we don’t know if the officers on the scene knew about the reports of him hitting her. They were responding to a separate call that she hit him. Yes, more training in recognizing and dealing with domestic violence would be great, totally agree. But no one should lose their job over this!

The second body cam video released shows that the officers knew about both calls. They tell Gabby that a witness saw Brian slap her and she denies it or minimizes it (“he grabbed my face, he didn’t hit me).

Ok thanks for clarifying. In that case, not sure what else the cops were supposed to do? Even if they had sent her to a hotel and arranged for a mental health or social work consult, it sounds like she would have continued the trip?

Agree. She wouldn’t have left Brian regardless of what the police said or did. They can’t make consenting adults do anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think that it is unfair to blame Gabby’s family for not assisting her w/her troubled relationship issues.

She was twenty-two years old > definitely old enough to make her own, independent decisions on the trajectory of her life.
Plus it doesn’t appear that anyone in Gabby’s family even knew of what a monster her fiancé was.

Ideally Gabby should have left Brian in Utah after he was situated in his hotel room.
She should have taken her van & just got the HE🏒🏒 away from that loser.

But love (especially young love) is so blind + I just feel it is so unfair to hold her family responsible for her tragic fate.
I am sure that they likely are dealing w/so many mixed emotions every single second. 😢

But financially and living situation wise, they both lived with his parents. Did she have access to her own accounts to pay for what she would need without him? Are they tied to his?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think that it is unfair to blame Gabby’s family for not assisting her w/her troubled relationship issues.

She was twenty-two years old > definitely old enough to make her own, independent decisions on the trajectory of her life.
Plus it doesn’t appear that anyone in Gabby’s family even knew of what a monster her fiancé was.

Ideally Gabby should have left Brian in Utah after he was situated in his hotel room.
She should have taken her van & just got the HE🏒🏒 away from that loser.

But love (especially young love) is so blind + I just feel it is so unfair to hold her family responsible for her tragic fate.
I am sure that they likely are dealing w/so many mixed emotions every single second. 😢

But financially and living situation wise, they both lived with his parents. Did she have access to her own accounts to pay for what she would need without him? Are they tied to his?

It seems like at a minimum she would have been allowed to move in with either of her parents. They also seem involved enough that one of them would have flown out to drive the van back with her if she requested. Again, I don’t think she was in the state of mind to do either of those things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think that it is unfair to blame Gabby’s family for not assisting her w/her troubled relationship issues.

She was twenty-two years old > definitely old enough to make her own, independent decisions on the trajectory of her life.
Plus it doesn’t appear that anyone in Gabby’s family even knew of what a monster her fiancé was.

Ideally Gabby should have left Brian in Utah after he was situated in his hotel room.
She should have taken her van & just got the HE🏒🏒 away from that loser.

But love (especially young love) is so blind + I just feel it is so unfair to hold her family responsible for her tragic fate.
I am sure that they likely are dealing w/so many mixed emotions every single second. 😢

But financially and living situation wise, they both lived with his parents. Did she have access to her own accounts to pay for what she would need without him? Are they tied to his?

My theory:

-Her parents weren’t thrilled with her moving to FL with this loser and his family, and they cut her off.

-She felt trapped and stuck, which is why she tolerated his abuse.

-Had she felt like she could just go back home, she would have called her parents and asked for help (a flight, money, whatever).

I hope every parent uses this as a teachable moment for their daughters to get away fast at the first sign of anger, abuse or control.

I cannot imagine staying with an abuser. It’s just not in me to tolerate. I think we need research into why some people stay, and we need to proactively teach kids from an early age not to tolerate it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think that it is unfair to blame Gabby’s family for not assisting her w/her troubled relationship issues.

She was twenty-two years old > definitely old enough to make her own, independent decisions on the trajectory of her life.
Plus it doesn’t appear that anyone in Gabby’s family even knew of what a monster her fiancé was.

Ideally Gabby should have left Brian in Utah after he was situated in his hotel room.
She should have taken her van & just got the HE🏒🏒 away from that loser.

But love (especially young love) is so blind + I just feel it is so unfair to hold her family responsible for her tragic fate.
I am sure that they likely are dealing w/so many mixed emotions every single second. 😢

But financially and living situation wise, they both lived with his parents. Did she have access to her own accounts to pay for what she would need without him? Are they tied to his?

DP here. Not sure, but hadn’t her father moved to FL so he could be supportive of Gabby? What happened with that? I’m sure there are many regrets all around within that family.

[Anonymous]

My guess was BL parents were willing to financially support BL 100%, and put up Gabby in their home and basically support her too. And she just didn't like living with either of her parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My guess was BL parents were willing to financially support BL 100%, and put up Gabby in their home and basically support her too. And she just didn't like living with either of her parents.

Plus, if arguments happened, what was she gonna do, drive to NY real quick?

[Anonymous]

I can't help but wonder if she got stuck trying to carry out a social media fantasy life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My guess was BL parents were willing to financially support BL 100%, and put up Gabby in their home and basically support her too. And she just didn't like living with either of her parents.

Maybe that’s true. We’ll never know. But if a controlling and absurd boyfriend is preferable to your own parents, at what point do we give her agency over her own life and choices? Of course she didn’t deserve what happened but she was 22 not 18. I was making all of my own life choices at that point. Including an engagement to my college boyfriend and moving with him while he went to grad school. My story has a happy ending but I wouldn’t have listened if my parents told me not to go.

[Anonymous]

We also don't know if there were long-standing abusive behaviors, right? It might have just escalated in the last month.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My guess was BL parents were willing to financially support BL 100%, and put up Gabby in their home and basically support her too. And she just didn't like living with either of her parents.

Maybe that’s true. We’ll never know. But if a controlling and absurd boyfriend is preferable to your own parents, at what point do we give her agency over her own life and choices? Of course she didn’t deserve what happened but she was 22 not 18. I was making all of my own life choices at that point. Including an engagement to my college boyfriend and moving with him while he went to grad school. My story has a happy ending but I wouldn’t have listened if my parents told me not to go.

+ 1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think that it is unfair to blame Gabby’s family for not assisting her w/her troubled relationship issues.

She was twenty-two years old > definitely old enough to make her own, independent decisions on the trajectory of her life.
Plus it doesn’t appear that anyone in Gabby’s family even knew of what a monster her fiancé was.

Ideally Gabby should have left Brian in Utah after he was situated in his hotel room.
She should have taken her van & just got the HE🏒🏒 away from that loser.

But love (especially young love) is so blind + I just feel it is so unfair to hold her family responsible for her tragic fate.
I am sure that they likely are dealing w/so many mixed emotions every single second. 😢

But financially and living situation wise, they both lived with his parents. Did she have access to her own accounts to pay for what she would need without him? Are they tied to his?

DP here. Not sure, but hadn’t her father moved to FL so he could be supportive of Gabby? What happened with that? I’m sure there are many regrets all around within that family.

Anyone find Gabbys father’s behavior a little off? I can’t quite put my finger on it. He just seems a little too composed in TV interviews considering how recently this all occurred. And has this weird hyper macho thing going on.