Reply to Van Lifer couple camping in Utah national park - two weeks later fiancee arrives in FL alone

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I watched the bodycam video very early on and was one of the few people in this thread who thought she definitely was a victim and that Brian was definitely the abuser-- just based on their statements and behavior.

But cops aren't in the business of reading into situations to find the deeper truths. They are in the business of enforcing the law. Gabby was claiming fault for everything that went wrong between her and Brian, and Brian was saying a lot of words that didn't form a cohesive message. You can't form an actual case against Brian based on your biases. And my read of the situation comes from biases based on my interactions with DV victims and abusers, and my own experiences with DV. Victims see themselves as completely at fault so its not easy for cops to make a case.

I really don't blame the cops. Yes, they said some misogynistic stuff but we live In a misogynistic world, and it's unrealistic to think that cops will be anything other than normal and average when it comes to enlightened thinking about gender (and race).  They spent over an hour with Gabby and Brian and did what they felt they could to de-escalate.

[/quote]

People who deal with domestic violence more than the average person are trained to recognize typical abuser behavior (lie and play victim) and typical victim behavior (deny abuse)  Just because the posters here seem to be clueless doesn’t mean people trained to recognized domestic violence also get to play clueless.[/quote]

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