Baby Now or Wait 2 Years?
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Anonymous
there are some top schools who issue diplomas in landscaping and real estate. in any case there is nothing wrong with nursing, obviously, it's a very useful profession and for many a satisfying job. the problem is that this particular nurse is acting like she is training for an astronaut and constantly lecturing more experienced career women that we can't possibly fathom the difficulty of her two-year program. |
Anonymous
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Adoption - after having 2 kids at age 38 or so!
Doubt you understand the arduous process of adoption! |
Anonymous
Op here. I came back to answer a couple of questions. You must have misread or I didn't explain enough. I started pharmacy school at 19. It's a 6 year program. I graduated at 25 and worked in the field for two years. I was a nanny while putting myself through pharmacy school. I hated it. I enrolled in nursing school at 27 to pursue CRNA. I graduated at 30, and now about to start my CRNA program. |
Anonymous
Op here. Do you know what a CRNA is? I had to get my BSN, and work a year in ICU in order to go for CRNA. That takes 6 years to complete. I was previously a pharmacist, but hated it. I didn't get my eggs frozen for " kicks". I explained why in other posts. I am not from DC, and got my eggs frozen where I was born. It is true that they will likely be unusable. I am not a trophy anything. Last time I checked, trophy wives don't have a PharmD. |
Anonymous
Op here. Thank you! Unlike what they think, I never out down their careers. I defended mine against the rude comments that nursing isn't a tough job. Even though other medical professionals advised me I can't have a baby and go to school, they say a CRNA, which is different than a general nurse, isn't tough. Even though they don't know anything about a CRNA program or what they do. |
Anonymous
| Typical liberals bullying OP but then whine about bullying. I am with you, OP. I second the pp who said you are realistic about what you can handle. I don't understand how a bunch of mothers don't see the point you have made. Children are tough, and I commend you in realizing that and waiting until you can focus on them. You're realistic that parenthood is not all rainbows and sunshine. It's the most rewarding, and the toughest thing I have ever done. |
Anonymous
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My prediction:
She puts DH off for a year, then tells him school is too hard and puts it off for another year, then they finally get around to trying at age 35, at which point it takes a while either to conceive or for it to stick, meanwhile she is trying to jumpstart her career... Maybe she’ll get lucky and get pregnant quickly and he won’t have what it takes to make partner and will end up moving to something more family-friendly, but if she hits 37 before having a baby and he makes partner...he will find someone younger who actually wants a family. |
Anonymous
+3 not getting this, at all. OP? And to your recent response: what we are taking issue with is that you have made many comments making it clear that you think what you are trying to do is exceptional or extraordinary around here. Yes your program is competitive, but many of us have both completed very strenuous competitive academic programs AND had children, so we certainly know what we're talking about and are giving you good insight. Which is allegedly what you came here seeking. Your situation is not extraordinary, except maybe for the fact that you are getting both your career AND your family started so late. You will come to find that when it comes to babies (conceiving them, carrying them, raising them, meeting their needs on a daily basis), the reality is MUCH less cut and dry and easy pray planned out than it currently is in your mind. We all know this, and are telling you what we would do / wish we would have done if your age |
Anonymous
Mine: a) she does not actually want kids, just feels like she should and knows her husband does. BAAAD road ahead there; that relationship will not make it. Or b) she will hit a point, soon, where her biological clock (or social circle clock, or both) kicks in, and ahe suddenly DOES want a baby, and stat (and not just in the abstract / claiming she can't wait to be a mom, like she is now). She will realize she's 35 and have a little fertility freakout and want to start NOW. And then she will either half-heartedly try to focus on "the plan" while in reality she drives herself crazy. Or she will decide just to go for it and school / starting out in this new career will take a major backseat as her priorities shift entirely |
Anonymous
There is nothing wrong with having children 35+. I had my kids at 40 and 42. I got pregnant easily and has super easy pregnancies. You are way to dramatic with having children over 35 stance. You don't sound very bright or well informed. |
Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
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Op, I commend you for knowing parenthood isn't easy, and realizing you are not ready to be a parent. I think many have kids anyway because it's the rugby age, instead of weighing out if they really can handle it. I do think you're at a perfect age to start, but that doesn't mean you should. I think you should wait until you are ready. As for your DH, I think the pressure from family and friends might be pushing him to want to have a baby. If he genuinely wants one, I agree the plan to wait a year. As much as he wants one, you will be doing most of work, from being pregnant to general newborn care.
I had my first at 32, while finishing up residency. Though I don't regret my choice, I do wish I had waited until I was done. Being pregnant and caring for a baby during residency was tough. I was working 80 hours a week, and it was exhausting. I urge you to wait. I am 35 and pregnant with my second child. I feel more ready now. Get your education done and it will fall into place. |
Anonymous
Or, it won't. No one knows if it'll work out for OP or not. But I do agree that she should wait because she is not ready since she has other priorities right now. |
Anonymous
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As a couple of recent posters have mentioned, OP needs to be cognizant of the difference in options as men and women age. It's extremely clear her husband strongly want a to be a dad. At 38 or 39, he will have plenty of options to go find a late 20s woman to be with. Obviously I sincerely hope that doesn't happen, but if OP finds reasons to put off kids more than a year (and it would be understandable in the middle of a demanding education and work schedule), he has options.
On the other hand, women's options generally shrink as they get into mid 30s. OP, being a mom clearly isn't a priority for you right now. That's ok. But I worry about your priorities and your husband's not being matched up. I truly don't think you're going to be in a situation where suddenly the time feels right a year from now. If you're 40, and you could ONLY choose between being a CRNA or a mom, which would you pick? Act accordingly. I hope that you don't have to make that choice, but putting off kids if you want them at your age and the situation with your husband is foolish. |
Anonymous
+1 YES! Adoptive mom, here, and you don't just casually say, "adopt, if needed." Educate yourself on adoption. And realize that it's about finding a home for a child, not supplying a baby to a family. |