Baby Now or Wait 2 Years?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, I commend you for knowing parenthood isn't easy, and realizing you are not ready to be a parent. I think many have kids anyway because it's the rugby age, instead of weighing out if they really can handle it. I do think you're at a perfect age to start, but that doesn't mean you should. I think you should wait until you are ready. As for your DH, I think the pressure from family and friends might be pushing him to want to have a baby. If he genuinely wants one, I agree the plan to wait a year. As much as he wants one, you will be doing most of work, from being pregnant to general newborn care.


I had my first at 32, while finishing up residency. Though I don't regret my choice, I do wish I had waited until I was done. Being pregnant and caring for a baby during residency was tough. I was working 80 hours a week, and it was exhausting. I urge you to wait. I am 35 and pregnant with my second child. I feel more ready now. Get your education done and it will fall into place.

that's OP's condescending theory of her husband's views. another possibility is that they guy wants 4 kids, is already 35 and has a more realistic perspective on what is possible than OP does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, I commend you for knowing parenthood isn't easy, and realizing you are not ready to be a parent. I think many have kids anyway because it's the rugby age, instead of weighing out if they really can handle it. I do think you're at a perfect age to start, but that doesn't mean you should. I think you should wait until you are ready. As for your DH, I think the pressure from family and friends might be pushing him to want to have a baby. If he genuinely wants one, I agree the plan to wait a year. As much as he wants one, you will be doing most of work, from being pregnant to general newborn care.


I had my first at 32, while finishing up residency. Though I don't regret my choice, I do wish I had waited until I was done. Being pregnant and caring for a baby during residency was tough. I was working 80 hours a week, and it was exhausting. I urge you to wait. I am 35 and pregnant with my second child. I feel more ready now. Get your education done and it will fall into place.

Or, it won't. No one knows if it'll work out for OP or not. But I do agree that she should wait because she is not ready since she has other priorities right now.

Exactly. I can tell you more than one very personal anecdote about how it absolutely does not necessarily just "fall into place". I'm talking people who hate themselves for waiting so long, marriages breaking up, etc

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, I commend you for knowing parenthood isn't easy, and realizing you are not ready to be a parent. I think many have kids anyway because it's the rugby age, instead of weighing out if they really can handle it. I do think you're at a perfect age to start, but that doesn't mean you should. I think you should wait until you are ready. As for your DH, I think the pressure from family and friends might be pushing him to want to have a baby. If he genuinely wants one, I agree the plan to wait a year. As much as he wants one, you will be doing most of work, from being pregnant to general newborn care.


I had my first at 32, while finishing up residency. Though I don't regret my choice, I do wish I had waited until I was done. Being pregnant and caring for a baby during residency was tough. I was working 80 hours a week, and it was exhausting. I urge you to wait. I am 35 and pregnant with my second child. I feel more ready now. Get your education done and it will fall into place.

that's OP's condescending theory of her husband's views. another possibility is that they guy wants 4 kids, is already 35 and has a more realistic perspective on what is possible than OP does.

Op here. You don't know me or my husband. We have had several discussions, and the main reason for him wanting to try now was pressure from family and friends. He said he is happy to wait a year or two if it makes the best sense for us. That's why we are waiting a year. Thanks for thinking you know so much about my marriage when you don't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, I commend you for knowing parenthood isn't easy, and realizing you are not ready to be a parent. I think many have kids anyway because it's the rugby age, instead of weighing out if they really can handle it. I do think you're at a perfect age to start, but that doesn't mean you should. I think you should wait until you are ready. As for your DH, I think the pressure from family and friends might be pushing him to want to have a baby. If he genuinely wants one, I agree the plan to wait a year. As much as he wants one, you will be doing most of work, from being pregnant to general newborn care.


I had my first at 32, while finishing up residency. Though I don't regret my choice, I do wish I had waited until I was done. Being pregnant and caring for a baby during residency was tough. I was working 80 hours a week, and it was exhausting. I urge you to wait. I am 35 and pregnant with my second child. I feel more ready now. Get your education done and it will fall into place.

that's OP's condescending theory of her husband's views. another possibility is that they guy wants 4 kids, is already 35 and has a more realistic perspective on what is possible than OP does.

Dude, you have been married one year. You don't even know what you dont know.
Op here. You don't know me or my husband. We have had several discussions, and the main reason for him wanting to try now was pressure from family and friends. He said he is happy to wait a year or two if it makes the best sense for us. That's why we are waiting a year. Thanks for thinking you know so much about my marriage when you don't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, why not do med school if you are so smart? Oh yeah, you aren't.

She probably went to pharmacy to begin with because she couldn't make the med school. Then she realized she cared less about prestige than about the day to day work. But will still insist nursing is like a totally prestigious incredibly competitive profession.

You're ignorant. I'm not OP but I'm a doctor. I wonder what you you do that you feel you're superior? Is nursing hard? Yes. Is it prestigious? No. Is CRNA hard and prestigious? Yes. You are completely ignorant to what a CRNA even does or how hard the work to become one. A CRNA deals with ICU patients by checking vitals, intubating, standing in for anesthesiologists, etc., but no, they and OP are dumb. Spend one day in that life and then tell me how easy it is.

Geez, your grammar is atrocious. You’re a doctor? I guess doctors just aren’t very smart nowadays. OP, you sound ridiculous. You’ve only been married for 3 years to a lawyer on partner track who wants 3-4 kids? He may be indulging your silly idea now to become a CRNA and have 3 kids later, but let’s see what happens 3 years later when you’re struggling to deliver on your promise. He’ll find a younger, hotter wife and breeder so fast...

Op here. I have to laugh at this dumb response. I wanted to be a CRNA before I even met my husband. He fully supports me. We are very happily married. I am wise enough to know you don't have a child when you're not ready for one, or you don't think you can handle it. You may be fine with a nanny or daycare raising your children, but I'm not.

If you wanted to become a crna before you even met your husband, why didn’t you do the program before? You could have finished it by now. Did you not get in? Honestly, it sounds like you’re a dumb trophy wife that your husband primarily married to have kids. I bet he doesn’t know about the egg freezing. Who freezes their eggs when they’re 19 just for kicks? Seriously that’s just weird.

Op here. Do you know what a CRNA is? I had to get my BSN, and work a year in ICU in order to go for CRNA. That takes 6 years to complete. I was previously a pharmacist, but hated it.

I didn't get my eggs frozen for " kicks". I explained why in other posts. I am not from DC, and got my eggs frozen where I was born. It is true that they will likely be unusable.

I am not a trophy anything. Last time I checked, trophy wives don't have a PharmD.

BSN is four years, plus one year working in ICU. That's five, not six years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, I commend you for knowing parenthood isn't easy, and realizing you are not ready to be a parent. I think many have kids anyway because it's the rugby age, instead of weighing out if they really can handle it. I do think you're at a perfect age to start, but that doesn't mean you should. I think you should wait until you are ready. As for your DH, I think the pressure from family and friends might be pushing him to want to have a baby. If he genuinely wants one, I agree the plan to wait a year. As much as he wants one, you will be doing most of work, from being pregnant to general newborn care.


I had my first at 32, while finishing up residency. Though I don't regret my choice, I do wish I had waited until I was done. Being pregnant and caring for a baby during residency was tough. I was working 80 hours a week, and it was exhausting. I urge you to wait. I am 35 and pregnant with my second child. I feel more ready now. Get your education done and it will fall into place.

that's OP's condescending theory of her husband's views. another possibility is that they guy wants 4 kids, is already 35 and has a more realistic perspective on what is possible than OP does.

Op here. You don't know me or my husband. We have had several discussions, and the main reason for him wanting to try now was pressure from family and friends. He said he is happy to wait a year or two if it makes the best sense for us. That's why we are waiting a year. Thanks for thinking you know so much about my marriage when you don't.

You have only been married a year. Is the ink even dry on the marriage certificate?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, I commend you for knowing parenthood isn't easy, and realizing you are not ready to be a parent. I think many have kids anyway because it's the rugby age, instead of weighing out if they really can handle it. I do think you're at a perfect age to start, but that doesn't mean you should. I think you should wait until you are ready. As for your DH, I think the pressure from family and friends might be pushing him to want to have a baby. If he genuinely wants one, I agree the plan to wait a year. As much as he wants one, you will be doing most of work, from being pregnant to general newborn care.


I had my first at 32, while finishing up residency. Though I don't regret my choice, I do wish I had waited until I was done. Being pregnant and caring for a baby during residency was tough. I was working 80 hours a week, and it was exhausting. I urge you to wait. I am 35 and pregnant with my second child. I feel more ready now. Get your education done and it will fall into place.

that's OP's condescending theory of her husband's views. another possibility is that they guy wants 4 kids, is already 35 and has a more realistic perspective on what is possible than OP does.

Dude, you have been married one year. You don't even know what you dont know.
Op here. You don't know me or my husband. We have had several discussions, and the main reason for him wanting to try now was pressure from family and friends. He said he is happy to wait a year or two if it makes the best sense for us. That's why we are waiting a year. Thanks for thinking you know so much about my marriage when you don't.

seriously. OP is clueless on so many levels.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, I commend you for knowing parenthood isn't easy, and realizing you are not ready to be a parent. I think many have kids anyway because it's the rugby age, instead of weighing out if they really can handle it. I do think you're at a perfect age to start, but that doesn't mean you should. I think you should wait until you are ready. As for your DH, I think the pressure from family and friends might be pushing him to want to have a baby. If he genuinely wants one, I agree the plan to wait a year. As much as he wants one, you will be doing most of work, from being pregnant to general newborn care.


I had my first at 32, while finishing up residency. Though I don't regret my choice, I do wish I had waited until I was done. Being pregnant and caring for a baby during residency was tough. I was working 80 hours a week, and it was exhausting. I urge you to wait. I am 35 and pregnant with my second child. I feel more ready now. Get your education done and it will fall into place.

that's OP's condescending theory of her husband's views. another possibility is that they guy wants 4 kids, is already 35 and has a more realistic perspective on what is possible than OP does.

Op here. You don't know me or my husband. We have had several discussions, and the main reason for him wanting to try now was pressure from family and friends. He said he is happy to wait a year or two if it makes the best sense for us. That's why we are waiting a year. Thanks for thinking you know so much about my marriage when you don't.

"hey darling, let's start making babies now because my friends are pressuring me. what do you think?"

[Anonymous]

Honestly, given that the OP is 33 and wants 3 kids - I would just drop the idea of the program and start a family now. This is from someone who had her first after having establishing her career at 35 - but my career at that point was well established and I could afford to take plenty of time and enjoy the kids (eventually 3 of them - though we both had not initially planned on more than 1, which is why we had felt comfortable waiting). Once OP finishes her program at 36, she'll want to get started in what sounds like a tough job, while at the same time having 3 kids in 3 or 4 years (??? Quite a feat in your 20's). It simply isn't plausible. Also, postponing the start of the career until 3 kids are out of diapers/toddlerhood (as the OP doesn't like daycare/nannies) would mean starting in her 40's. Also not great. If family were a priority, it would be best to work as a nurse in a family friendly environment and get started now, as it looks like money is not an issue.
My guess? The OP will give priority to her career, and maybe end up with 1 kid in her late 30s. THAT is the discussion she should be having with her husband NOW. Will he be happy if that is the outcome?

[Anonymous]

^Just to add: You are in the honeymoon phase of your marriage, as others have said. Your marriage being strong now means not much in the long run.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, given that the OP is 33 and wants 3 kids - I would just drop the idea of the program and start a family now. This is from someone who had her first after having establishing her career at 35 - but my career at that point was well established and I could afford to take plenty of time and enjoy the kids (eventually 3 of them - though we both had not initially planned on more than 1, which is why we had felt comfortable waiting). Once OP finishes her program at 36, she'll want to get started in what sounds like a tough job, while at the same time having 3 kids in 3 or 4 years (??? Quite a feat in your 20's). It simply isn't plausible. Also, postponing the start of the career until 3 kids are out of diapers/toddlerhood (as the OP doesn't like daycare/nannies) would mean starting in her 40's. Also not great. If family were a priority, it would be best to work as a nurse in a family friendly environment and get started now, as it looks like money is not an issue.
My guess? The OP will give priority to her career, and maybe end up with 1 kid in her late 30s. THAT is the discussion she should be having with her husband NOW. Will he be happy if that is the outcome?

OP's plan:

Anonymous wrote:If I can have it work, I would love to have them at 35 and 37, and maybe 38 if we have a third

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, why not do med school if you are so smart? Oh yeah, you aren't.

She probably went to pharmacy to begin with because she couldn't make the med school. Then she realized she cared less about prestige than about the day to day work. But will still insist nursing is like a totally prestigious incredibly competitive profession.

You're ignorant. I'm not OP but I'm a doctor. I wonder what you you do that you feel you're superior? Is nursing hard? Yes. Is it prestigious? No. Is CRNA hard and prestigious? Yes. You are completely ignorant to what a CRNA even does or how hard the work to become one. A CRNA deals with ICU patients by checking vitals, intubating, standing in for anesthesiologists, etc., but no, they and OP are dumb. Spend one day in that life and then tell me how easy it is.

Geez, your grammar is atrocious. You’re a doctor? I guess doctors just aren’t very smart nowadays. OP, you sound ridiculous. You’ve only been married for 3 years to a lawyer on partner track who wants 3-4 kids? He may be indulging your silly idea now to become a CRNA and have 3 kids later, but let’s see what happens 3 years later when you’re struggling to deliver on your promise. He’ll find a younger, hotter wife and breeder so fast...

Op here. I have to laugh at this dumb response. I wanted to be a CRNA before I even met my husband. He fully supports me. We are very happily married. I am wise enough to know you don't have a child when you're not ready for one, or you don't think you can handle it. You may be fine with a nanny or daycare raising your children, but I'm not.

If you wanted to become a crna before you even met your husband, why didn’t you do the program before? You could have finished it by now. Did you not get in? Honestly, it sounds like you’re a dumb trophy wife that your husband primarily married to have kids. I bet he doesn’t know about the egg freezing. Who freezes their eggs when they’re 19 just for kicks? Seriously that’s just weird.

Op here. Do you know what a CRNA is? I had to get my BSN, and work a year in ICU in order to go for CRNA. That takes 6 years to complete. I was previously a pharmacist, but hated it.

I didn't get my eggs frozen for " kicks". I explained why in other posts. I am not from DC, and got my eggs frozen where I was born. It is true that they will likely be unusable.

I am not a trophy anything. Last time I checked, trophy wives don't have a PharmD.

BSN is four years, plus one year working in ICU. That's five, not six years.

Op here. It is six. BSN is not always 4 years. Many states now offer a 3 year program. I did 3 years for my BSN, one year in ICU, and now about to do a 2 year CRNA program. 5 years for school, 6 if you count working in ICU for a year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, why not do med school if you are so smart? Oh yeah, you aren't.

She probably went to pharmacy to begin with because she couldn't make the med school. Then she realized she cared less about prestige than about the day to day work. But will still insist nursing is like a totally prestigious incredibly competitive profession.

You're ignorant. I'm not OP but I'm a doctor. I wonder what you you do that you feel you're superior? Is nursing hard? Yes. Is it prestigious? No. Is CRNA hard and prestigious? Yes. You are completely ignorant to what a CRNA even does or how hard the work to become one. A CRNA deals with ICU patients by checking vitals, intubating, standing in for anesthesiologists, etc., but no, they and OP are dumb. Spend one day in that life and then tell me how easy it is.

Geez, your grammar is atrocious. You’re a doctor? I guess doctors just aren’t very smart nowadays. OP, you sound ridiculous. You’ve only been married for 3 years to a lawyer on partner track who wants 3-4 kids? He may be indulging your silly idea now to become a CRNA and have 3 kids later, but let’s see what happens 3 years later when you’re struggling to deliver on your promise. He’ll find a younger, hotter wife and breeder so fast...

Op here. I have to laugh at this dumb response. I wanted to be a CRNA before I even met my husband. He fully supports me. We are very happily married. I am wise enough to know you don't have a child when you're not ready for one, or you don't think you can handle it. You may be fine with a nanny or daycare raising your children, but I'm not.

If you wanted to become a crna before you even met your husband, why didn’t you do the program before? You could have finished it by now. Did you not get in? Honestly, it sounds like you’re a dumb trophy wife that your husband primarily married to have kids. I bet he doesn’t know about the egg freezing. Who freezes their eggs when they’re 19 just for kicks? Seriously that’s just weird.

Op here. Do you know what a CRNA is? I had to get my BSN, and work a year in ICU in order to go for CRNA. That takes 6 years to complete. I was previously a pharmacist, but hated it.

I didn't get my eggs frozen for " kicks". I explained why in other posts. I am not from DC, and got my eggs frozen where I was born. It is true that they will likely be unusable.

I am not a trophy anything. Last time I checked, trophy wives don't have a PharmD.

BSN is four years, plus one year working in ICU. That's five, not six years.

Op here. It is six. BSN is not always 4 years. Many states now offer a 3 year program. I did 3 years for my BSN, one year in ICU, and now about to do a 2 year CRNA program. 5 years for school, 6 if you count working in ICU for a year.

Get moving OP. I was an RN with a BSN at 21. Had a kid at 24, another at 26.
Lucky me, I'm 42 with an 18 and 16 year old.
You have wasted so many years.
BTW! Pharmacy is much better than nursing. Why on earth would you leave a great pharmacy profession?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, given that the OP is 33 and wants 3 kids - I would just drop the idea of the program and start a family now. This is from someone who had her first after having establishing her career at 35 - but my career at that point was well established and I could afford to take plenty of time and enjoy the kids (eventually 3 of them - though we both had not initially planned on more than 1, which is why we had felt comfortable waiting). Once OP finishes her program at 36, she'll want to get started in what sounds like a tough job, while at the same time having 3 kids in 3 or 4 years (??? Quite a feat in your 20's). It simply isn't plausible. Also, postponing the start of the career until 3 kids are out of diapers/toddlerhood (as the OP doesn't like daycare/nannies) would mean starting in her 40's. Also not great. If family were a priority, it would be best to work as a nurse in a family friendly environment and get started now, as it looks like money is not an issue.
My guess? The OP will give priority to her career, and maybe end up with 1 kid in her late 30s. THAT is the discussion she should be having with her husband NOW. Will he be happy if that is the outcome?

Op here. I will be 35 when I graduate, not 36. I am honestly fine with having 1-2 kids. We plan to start in a year. I may be in a new marriage, but from reading on here, some of you are married 10+ years without a solid marriage. I will take my chances. I will not let anyone force me into something as major as having a child before I am ready.

[Anonymous]

OP loves attention. She just can't stay away from this thread.

LOL about freezing her eggs, troll.