SAHMs, do you worry about your husband leaving you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SAHM you don't want to know how I spend my days. Just very slowly. I only do things I like and feel like doing. It is a surprise to me when I have to rush. Don't like to so I take it easy. Spend a lot of time on vacation and at the beach, with my family and riding my horse. Takes a lot of time to do these things at a leisurely pace. Worry about money, no not so much. Our equity just keep growing. Lots of hobbies and I sculpt. Love to cook.

I'm the one that told people to "own it". Honestly, this is the type of SAHM I like. Keeping up her interests, not complaining about how hard her life is compared to everyone else. It's the kind of WOHM I like, too!

And, yes, we all Parent our children. The thing I hate the most is when a SAHM says something like "My job is TWENTY-FOUR HOURS!".....because working Moms don't come home to children and have Parenting also. We *all* work 24 hours.

And we should *all* be taking time for ourselves in order to remain interesting people.

And, lady, you had 5 kids. I will assume with you either planned them or were dumb about birth control while satisfying your wonderful sex life. I don't feel bad for you. Yes, most people don't have 5 kids.

In any case, the thread topic is just asking if you're worried about your finances, really.

Huh? I was the one who said to own it. But I agree with you
Sure, SAHM of 5 kids IN SCHOOL, I have breaks at work. But I'm not a martyr listing how busy I am online (mail runs.. Wtf? How inefficient are you?)
And the sex stuff ( mentioning it twice in as many posts and saying "yummy" when you're probably in your 50s? Transparently desperate and bizarre.

Why do you feel she needs to rationalize how she spends her day. Your strange need to berate another woman for making different choices than you is what is desperate and bizarre. You may want to examine why you gave such anger towards SAHMs, it is not normal.

I don't have anger towards SAHMs at all. My mom was one and I adored her. I didn't post the comment about "lady you had 5 kids." All I'm saying is that it's weird that pp lists what she does all day in some kind of weird attempt to justify being busy. I admit I have time to myself at work. I just don't get why she insists that she's so busy getting the viola fixed that her existence is justified. It's odd.

She wrote that post because other posters (you?) questioned how SAHMs stayed busy other than by going to the gym. You need more self-examination as to why you think she has to "justify her existence" and less time spent judging the actions of others. It will make you happier, I promise.

[Anonymous]

I don't have anger towards SAHMs at all. My mom was one and I adored her. I didn't post the comment about "lady you had 5 kids." All I'm saying is that it's weird that pp lists what she does all day in some kind of weird attempt to justify being busy. I admit I have time to myself at work. I just don't get why she insists that she's so busy getting the viola fixed that her existence is justified. It's odd.

It was probably more to the mansplaner who wants to know what women do all day long once the kids are in school.

[Anonymous]

One of the biggest reasons I became a SAHM is because it allows us to have a more relaxed lifestyle, and I think that is beneficial for everyone in my family. My husband agrees. I have zero need to desire to list everything I do in one day. I couldn't care less if someone who has made difference choices thinks I am lazy, entitled or a welfare queen. If you assume all people are rational (which I doubt more and more as I hear the crazy ideas people have), there it only makes sense that people maximize their utility. Therefore, I would assume a WOHM has concluded that working is best for her/her family and a SAHM has concluded that staying home is best for her family. You seem irrational/crazy arguing that the other option is easier/better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SAHM you don't want to know how I spend my days. Just very slowly. I only do things I like and feel like doing. It is a surprise to me when I have to rush. Don't like to so I take it easy. Spend a lot of time on vacation and at the beach, with my family and riding my horse. Takes a lot of time to do these things at a leisurely pace. Worry about money, no not so much. Our equity just keep growing. Lots of hobbies and I sculpt. Love to cook.

I'm the one that told people to "own it". Honestly, this is the type of SAHM I like. Keeping up her interests, not complaining about how hard her life is compared to everyone else. It's the kind of WOHM I like, too!

And, yes, we all Parent our children. The thing I hate the most is when a SAHM says something like "My job is TWENTY-FOUR HOURS!".....because working Moms don't come home to children and have Parenting also. We *all* work 24 hours.

And we should *all* be taking time for ourselves in order to remain interesting people.

And, lady, you had 5 kids. I will assume with you either planned them or were dumb about birth control while satisfying your wonderful sex life. I don't feel bad for you. Yes, most people don't have 5 kids.

In any case, the thread topic is just asking if you're worried about your finances, really.

Huh? I was the one who said to own it. But I agree with you
Sure, SAHM of 5 kids IN SCHOOL, I have breaks at work. But I'm not a martyr listing how busy I am online (mail runs.. Wtf? How inefficient are you?)
And the sex stuff ( mentioning it twice in as many posts and saying "yummy" when you're probably in your 50s? Transparently desperate and bizarre.

Why do you feel she needs to rationalize how she spends her day. Your strange need to berate another woman for making different choices than you is what is desperate and bizarre. You may want to examine why you gave such anger towards SAHMs, it is not normal.

I don't have anger towards SAHMs at all. My mom was one and I adored her. I didn't post the comment about "lady you had 5 kids." All I'm saying is that it's weird that pp lists what she does all day in some kind of weird attempt to justify being busy. I admit I have time to myself at work. I just don't get why she insists that she's so busy getting the viola fixed that her existence is justified. It's odd.

She wrote that post because other posters (you?) questioned how SAHMs stayed busy other than by going to the gym. You need more self-examination as to why you think she has to "justify her existence" and less time spent judging the actions of others. It will make you happier, I promise.

Can you read? I didn't ask that, and I said she doesn't need to justify it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SAHM you don't want to know how I spend my days. Just very slowly. I only do things I like and feel like doing. It is a surprise to me when I have to rush. Don't like to so I take it easy. Spend a lot of time on vacation and at the beach, with my family and riding my horse. Takes a lot of time to do these things at a leisurely pace. Worry about money, no not so much. Our equity just keep growing. Lots of hobbies and I sculpt. Love to cook.

I'm the one that told people to "own it". Honestly, this is the type of SAHM I like. Keeping up her interests, not complaining about how hard her life is compared to everyone else. It's the kind of WOHM I like, too!

And, yes, we all Parent our children. The thing I hate the most is when a SAHM says something like "My job is TWENTY-FOUR HOURS!".....because working Moms don't come home to children and have Parenting also. We *all* work 24 hours.

And we should *all* be taking time for ourselves in order to remain interesting people.

And, lady, you had 5 kids. I will assume with you either planned them or were dumb about birth control while satisfying your wonderful sex life. I don't feel bad for you. Yes, most people don't have 5 kids.

In any case, the thread topic is just asking if you're worried about your finances, really.

Huh? I was the one who said to own it. But I agree with you
Sure, SAHM of 5 kids IN SCHOOL, I have breaks at work. But I'm not a martyr listing how busy I am online (mail runs.. Wtf? How inefficient are you?)
And the sex stuff ( mentioning it twice in as many posts and saying "yummy" when you're probably in your 50s? Transparently desperate and bizarre.

Why do you feel she needs to rationalize how she spends her day. Your strange need to berate another woman for making different choices than you is what is desperate and bizarre. You may want to examine why you gave such anger towards SAHMs, it is not normal.

I don't have anger towards SAHMs at all. My mom was one and I adored her. I didn't post the comment about "lady you had 5 kids." All I'm saying is that it's weird that pp lists what she does all day in some kind of weird attempt to justify being busy. I admit I have time to myself at work. I just don't get why she insists that she's so busy getting the viola fixed that her existence is justified. It's odd.

She wrote that post because other posters (you?) questioned how SAHMs stayed busy other than by going to the gym. You need more self-examination as to why you think she has to "justify her existence" and less time spent judging the actions of others. It will make you happier, I promise.

Can you read? I didn't ask that, and I said she doesn't need to justify it.

Do you look at stuff as you write it? "I just don't get why she insists that she's so busy getting the viola fixed that her existence is justified" Go back and read all your posts -- they are similarly brimming with hostility.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To the those who are against SAHP: Is it in your mind ok of those of us to stay home for a few years while the kids are little? If I work it would cost more in daycare, house clearer and extended daycare then I would ever be able to make right now.

as is said again and again and again - it isn't about covering daycare. It's about retirement, future earning potentials, 401k contributions, resume gaps, etc.

Do you not find any value in being at home with the kids? To me that exceeds the pay check. It would KILL me to go to work, only to break even financially. If I am going to miss out on time with my kids, then I better be getting paid well. I am willing to miss out on the intangibles such as making contacts etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To the those who are against SAHP: Is it in your mind ok of those of us to stay home for a few years while the kids are little? If I work it would cost more in daycare, house clearer and extended daycare then I would ever be able to make right now.

as is said again and again and again - it isn't about covering daycare. It's about retirement, future earning potentials, 401k contributions, resume gaps, etc.

Sometimes when you are looking so far into the future you forget to see what is right in front of you.

VERY well said.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I read book about this: statistically, most high income men have SAH wives. Once they reach a certain amount, the majority would prefer their wives to be home especially with the kids.

Definitely true

[Anonymous]

Many women and men are greedy for extra money to fill their needs, so they ship the kids off to day orphanages so they can have their "stuff".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Many women and men are greedy for extra money to fill their needs, so they ship the kids off to day orphanages so they can have their "stuff".

Go back into your hole.

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

I am a SAHM, DH asks me what he can spend.

[Anonymous]

Here's one thing I wonder about: I am constantly reading that SAHM "makes life easier for everyone". Does that include the wife/mother? Because truly, the descriptions of the SAHM days that I'm reading sound like life is easier for everyone if mom spending her whole day taking care of everyone's needs. How about mom's life? I guess everyone is different and some women get enormous fulfillment from taking care of everything, but I really wonder. I like to cook, and do most of the cooking, but if my days were spent cleaning, making beds, doing laundry, doing errands so that no-one else in the family ever had to life a finger, I would be seriously resentful. I mean, is that all there is? I assume adults make the choices that work best for their families, but sometimes I really wonder if women are making the choice that works best for everyone except themselves.

[Anonymous]

I'm a divorced, WOHM mom. Working is not a choice, but I would have chosen it anyway. When I divorced, my kids were not even in school yet. I was thanking my lucky stars that I had a professional job where I made decent money. To reenter the workforce at the worst, most stressful time of my life, would not have been a pleasant endeavor.

The only women I know who got alimony were SAHMs (it probably depends on your age bracket), and they received restorative alimony (for a short period of time). I was late 30s, so in my circle of friends, I was one of the first divorces, and most of us did not have significant wealth or 10+ year marriages.

I had an acquaintance going through a divorce almost lock-step with me. She was a SAHM who had to take a clerical job in a law firm for the first couple of years post-divorce. Because this was a low level job, she didn't make much and she had very little flexibility (time off, running to school for whatever reason, saved up leave). I thought many times, both of our situations suck...but at least my work life is stable. I'd also found a position a couple years earlier that has some flexibility.

Also, don't forget that a good lawyer is going to cost a lot of money. If the plan is to rely on half of your ex's assets, he's most likely not going to hand that over to you without a fight. We litigated nothing -- everything agreed upon, including custody. It cost a small fortune and it still bothers me that this is money that could have gone towards my kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SAHM you don't want to know how I spend my days. Just very slowly. I only do things I like and feel like doing. It is a surprise to me when I have to rush. Don't like to so I take it easy. Spend a lot of time on vacation and at the beach, with my family and riding my horse. Takes a lot of time to do these things at a leisurely pace. Worry about money, no not so much. Our equity just keep growing. Lots of hobbies and I sculpt. Love to cook.

I'm the one that told people to "own it". Honestly, this is the type of SAHM I like. Keeping up her interests, not complaining about how hard her life is compared to everyone else. It's the kind of WOHM I like, too!

And, yes, we all Parent our children. The thing I hate the most is when a SAHM says something like "My job is TWENTY-FOUR HOURS!".....because working Moms don't come home to children and have Parenting also. We *all* work 24 hours.

And we should *all* be taking time for ourselves in order to remain interesting people.

And, lady, you had 5 kids. I will assume with you either planned them or were dumb about birth control while satisfying your wonderful sex life. I don't feel bad for you. Yes, most people don't have 5 kids.

In any case, the thread topic is just asking if you're worried about your finances, really.

Huh? I was the one who said to own it. But I agree with you
Sure, SAHM of 5 kids IN SCHOOL, I have breaks at work. But I'm not a martyr listing how busy I am online (mail runs.. Wtf? How inefficient are you?)
And the sex stuff ( mentioning it twice in as many posts and saying "yummy" when you're probably in your 50s? Transparently desperate and bizarre.

Why do you feel she needs to rationalize how she spends her day. Your strange need to berate another woman for making different choices than you is what is desperate and bizarre. You may want to examine why you gave such anger towards SAHMs, it is not normal.

I don't have anger towards SAHMs at all. My mom was one and I adored her. I didn't post the comment about "lady you had 5 kids." All I'm saying is that it's weird that pp lists what she does all day in some kind of weird attempt to justify being busy. I admit I have time to myself at work. I just don't get why she insists that she's so busy getting the viola fixed that her existence is justified. It's odd.

She wrote that post because other posters (you?) questioned how SAHMs stayed busy other than by going to the gym. You need more self-examination as to why you think she has to "justify her existence" and less time spent judging the actions of others. It will make you happier, I promise.

Can you read? I didn't ask that, and I said she doesn't need to justify it.

Do you look at stuff as you write it? "I just don't get why she insists that she's so busy getting the viola fixed that her existence is justified" Go back and read all your posts -- they are similarly brimming with hostility.

You need reading comprehension lessons. I said she does NOT need to make up stuff to fill her day - like fixing a viola, which happens how often? - because she doesn't need to justify her decision. READ.