SAHMs, do you worry about your husband leaving you?

[Anonymous]

Hell no. He should worry about me leaving him. And, I make sure some money dissapears into an account every month.

But, neither of us is worried. I am just prepared.

[Anonymous]

And, I should add that I kept mu foot in the door at a few places, so my resume is stacked. I have contacts out the wazoo if I needed to get a job almost anywhere.

[Anonymous]

SAHM's have it easy. If DH leaves, she is getting paid......for not working. I'd never allow my DW to stay at home long term. If she can't have a decent career, then I'm not interested. This isn't 1950 anymore. The feminists won. So start earning your keep instead of relying on alimony.

[Anonymous]

It's cheaper to keep her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:SAHM's have it easy. If DH leaves, she is getting paid......for not working. I'd never allow my DW to stay at home long term. If she can't have a decent career, then I'm not interested. This isn't 1950 anymore. The feminists won. So start earning your keep instead of relying on alimony.

+1

Nannies FTW.

[Anonymous]

This thread is so depressing.

Enjoy your lives of Machiavellian scheming against your "loved ones."

[Anonymous]

If you work out 2 hours a day and skip dinner except on weekends, you should be good.

[Anonymous]

No not really. He could i guess but then he'd have to pay child support and alimony.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No.

If he does, then I am educated and qualified and can get a job if/when necessary.

+1

That's why I got an education, so I wouldn't be dependent on him. I only became a SAHM after our second child was born, because financially, it made sense to stay home. My salary would basically be spent on childcare for two kids, with a little bit left over. The little bit wasn't worth the extra stress or work I would have to do once I got home (cook, baths for the kids etc.). My DH is a great guy and he would pitch in, but I know most of it would fall on me since we have 2 girls.

Actually, for EDUCATED individuals, the divorce rate is low. We are both faithful and we put our marriage first. We are in it for the long haul. Stuff could happen, but again, that's why I have a degree. I could get a job to support myself if I decided to leave or if he decided to divorce me. Frankly, it's not worth it for him to divorce me. We built a great life together and cut in half would be pretty shitty.

Actually this shows a frightening lack of "financial sense" on your part. That little bit of money that you are left with after paying for daycare is not what you give up when you quit. What you give up is that little bit of money + what you would have contributed to retirement from your earnings and the interest that would have been earned on that money + the job experience and time in position that is necessary to move to positions of increasing responsibility and pay + networking contacts you could have met while working + any raises you would have gotten during that period of working + a solid resume without large gaps that employers often see as reflecting your lack of commitment to your career.

Daycare is expensive. And I, like you, spend nearly my entire salary on childcare at this point (I have an infant). But that does not mean that it doesn't make financial sense to work. Because in only a few short years, my childcare costs will significantly decrease, and in the long term, I will come out much further ahead financially by remaining in the workforce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No.

If he does, then I am educated and qualified and can get a job if/when necessary.

+1

That's why I got an education, so I wouldn't be dependent on him. I only became a SAHM after our second child was born, because financially, it made sense to stay home. My salary would basically be spent on childcare for two kids, with a little bit left over. The little bit wasn't worth the extra stress or work I would have to do once I got home (cook, baths for the kids etc.). My DH is a great guy and he would pitch in, but I know most of it would fall on me since we have 2 girls.

Actually, for EDUCATED individuals, the divorce rate is low. We are both faithful and we put our marriage first. We are in it for the long haul. Stuff could happen, but again, that's why I have a degree. I could get a job to support myself if I decided to leave or if he decided to divorce me. Frankly, it's not worth it for him to divorce me. We built a great life together and cut in half would be pretty shitty.

Actually this shows a frightening lack of "financial sense" on your part. That little bit of money that you are left with after paying for daycare is not what you give up when you quit. What you give up is that little bit of money + what you would have contributed to retirement from your earnings and the interest that would have been earned on that money + the job experience and time in position that is necessary to move to positions of increasing responsibility and pay + networking contacts you could have met while working + any raises you would have gotten during that period of working + a solid resume without large gaps that employers often see as reflecting your lack of commitment to your career.

Daycare is expensive. And I, like you, spend nearly my entire salary on childcare at this point (I have an infant). But that does not mean that it doesn't make financial sense to work. Because in only a few short years, my childcare costs will significantly decrease, and in the long term, I will come out much further ahead financially by remaining in the workforce.

Thank god you did this because being financially ahead is THE most important thing in the world. It's definitely not the human yup decided to bring into the world.

[Anonymous]

I had a career before kids so hopefully could go back to it if I had to. My family would help me out if things got really bad.

I think deciding to be a wohm or sahm should be a 'positive' choice either way - i.e. my income will make our family life better, or having an identity and career outside the home will make me a better person, wife and mother, or having me be the primary caregiver of the children will be better for our household, etc. If that decision is coming from a place of fear, that I work because my husband may divorce me, I will not be a happy person, and my marriage would need serious work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No.

If he does, then I am educated and qualified and can get a job if/when necessary.

+1

That's why I got an education, so I wouldn't be dependent on him. I only became a SAHM after our second child was born, because financially, it made sense to stay home. My salary would basically be spent on childcare for two kids, with a little bit left over. The little bit wasn't worth the extra stress or work I would have to do once I got home (cook, baths for the kids etc.). My DH is a great guy and he would pitch in, but I know most of it would fall on me since we have 2 girls.

Actually, for EDUCATED individuals, the divorce rate is low. We are both faithful and we put our marriage first. We are in it for the long haul. Stuff could happen, but again, that's why I have a degree. I could get a job to support myself if I decided to leave or if he decided to divorce me. Frankly, it's not worth it for him to divorce me. We built a great life together and cut in half would be pretty shitty.

Actually this shows a frightening lack of "financial sense" on your part. That little bit of money that you are left with after paying for daycare is not what you give up when you quit. What you give up is that little bit of money + what you would have contributed to retirement from your earnings and the interest that would have been earned on that money + the job experience and time in position that is necessary to move to positions of increasing responsibility and pay + networking contacts you could have met while working + any raises you would have gotten during that period of working + a solid resume without large gaps that employers often see as reflecting your lack of commitment to your career.

Daycare is expensive. And I, like you, spend nearly my entire salary on childcare at this point (I have an infant). But that does not mean that it doesn't make financial sense to work. Because in only a few short years, my childcare costs will significantly decrease, and in the long term, I will come out much further ahead financially by remaining in the workforce.

I made plenty of money to cover childcare costs. In my last year of work, our nanny costs were about $60k. My base salary was almost 5x that. I still quit. What do you think about me?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No.

If he does, then I am educated and qualified and can get a job if/when necessary.

+1

That's why I got an education, so I wouldn't be dependent on him. I only became a SAHM after our second child was born, because financially, it made sense to stay home. My salary would basically be spent on childcare for two kids, with a little bit left over. The little bit wasn't worth the extra stress or work I would have to do once I got home (cook, baths for the kids etc.). My DH is a great guy and he would pitch in, but I know most of it would fall on me since we have 2 girls.

Actually, for EDUCATED individuals, the divorce rate is low. We are both faithful and we put our marriage first. We are in it for the long haul. Stuff could happen, but again, that's why I have a degree. I could get a job to support myself if I decided to leave or if he decided to divorce me. Frankly, it's not worth it for him to divorce me. We built a great life together and cut in half would be pretty shitty.

Actually this shows a frightening lack of "financial sense" on your part. That little bit of money that you are left with after paying for daycare is not what you give up when you quit. What you give up is that little bit of money + what you would have contributed to retirement from your earnings and the interest that would have been earned on that money + the job experience and time in position that is necessary to move to positions of increasing responsibility and pay + networking contacts you could have met while working + any raises you would have gotten during that period of working + a solid resume without large gaps that employers often see as reflecting your lack of commitment to your career.

Daycare is expensive. And I, like you, spend nearly my entire salary on childcare at this point (I have an infant). But that does not mean that it doesn't make financial sense to work. Because in only a few short years, my childcare costs will significantly decrease, and in the long term, I will come out much further ahead financially by remaining in the workforce.

I made plenty of money to cover childcare costs. In my last year of work, our nanny costs were about $60k. My base salary was almost 5x that. I still quit. What do you think about me?

It depends. Were you working such crazy hours that you would never see your kids? If that is the case, you were smart to quit. I think money is great, but if you are working so much (and don't need to), that you never see you kids grow up, I think it is the right choice. I work, but my hours are the same as my kids school hours. Kids grow up fast, and I want to be there for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The wide-eyed "sincerity" of OP is even more galling than mossy straight-up trolls.

Haha... Mossy should be "most."

Mossy seems like an apt metaphor actually!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hell no. He should worry about me leaving him. And, I make sure some money dissapears into an account every month.

But, neither of us is worried. I am just prepared.

Me, too. I'm (DH) actually the one with a financial/earning capacity advantage over my DH and I am well aware of how screwed he'd be if I left him. When you have that kind of imbalance in the relationship, I don't see how it could not be a worry unless you were naive. There's no way I would ever feel comfortable being financially dependent on my spouse.