I want to get away from friend groups/communities with this specific type of woman: where to go?

[Anonymous]

This feels very white woman-ish so I'm just going to eat popcorn and watch the thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This feels very white woman-ish so I'm just going to eat popcorn and watch the thread.

It's not. African here. And we have these people in our communities. Lol

[Anonymous]

I don’t get it.

She gets a lot done?

Why would she “dote on” you or give you advice? What’s that mean you are her minion, she orders you around at school or the pool or work or what?

[Anonymous]

I’m type omega, have a lot going on, grounded and get a lot done.

The best I can tell is that the lady OP is talking shit would leave me alone. Doubt she’d give me any personal advice since that’s absurd to do at work with anyone. But hey, if there is a better Botox or flight option or place to shop at, tell me once!

[Anonymous]

It all makes sense and the OP has pretty much summed up why certain people are stand-offish and don’t want to engage in this area. This stand-offish demeanor can be viewed as coldness, but after experiencing your fill of what OP is describing I see it and have seen it for some time and it is very sad. No matter what walk of life you come from you have to be very careful how you treat others. We all have challenges at some point or another and you don’t know what the future holds. The same people you mistreated could be the ones to help you. Their kids could be the ones that comfort and lift your kids up one day.

When my family and I first came to the area, I came with an authentically welcoming and bubbly attitude, I remember not being totally shocked, but a little surprised on my interactions with moms, specifically. We could be helping each other and forming more of a collaborative community, but instead we disparage and gossip about one another, always looking to jab and hurt the other person. Smile at another woman today, say something positive and encouraging. Make today Lift Each Other Up Day. Can we do that one day? A day without all the baggage…this is coming from an alley cat (it’s a metaphor), I don’t play games especially about my kids and my man, but I try to do this when I can and will do my best, no one is perfect. ❤️

[Anonymous]

Just wanted to compliment OP on your clear writing style. A post that long on dcum is usually hard to follow but your post was specific and flowed easily. Have you ever thought about a job in PR?

[Anonymous]

YOU NEED TO LEAVE THE AREA. No other options OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just wanted to compliment OP on your clear writing style. A post that long on dcum is usually hard to follow but your post was specific and flowed easily. Have you ever thought about a job in PR?

OP here, and thanks! I already work in comms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:YOU NEED TO LEAVE THE AREA. No other options OP.

I appreciate the bluntness. But where?

I'm genuinely asking. I do sometimes think I just am ill suited to the DC area because this annoys me so much and it feels like a very common personality type here. I can't just pick up and leave as I have a job and kids and a spouse. But I am open to thinking about it. Some people say there are people like this everywhere. Is that true? I am not from this area and did not encounter people like this prior to moving here for work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you imagine taking notes on people and cross-referencing them into a character type more elaborate than a Tarantino script description?

It’s not like she’s a trained CIA profiler, she’s just a SAHM with nothing to do but instantly label people she meets.

Instantly labeling is one thing that requires a one-word description: snobby, manipulative, shy, etc.

OP’s description of this “type” is the diatribe of a tinfoil hat conspiracy theorist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just wanted to compliment OP on your clear writing style. A post that long on dcum is usually hard to follow but your post was specific and flowed easily. Have you ever thought about a job in PR?

OP here, and thanks! I already work in comms.

So do I, and you are a rambling, ineffective nutbag.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:YOU NEED TO LEAVE THE AREA. No other options OP.

I appreciate the bluntness. But where?

I'm genuinely asking. I do sometimes think I just am ill suited to the DC area because this annoys me so much and it feels like a very common personality type here. I can't just pick up and leave as I have a job and kids and a spouse. But I am open to thinking about it. Some people say there are people like this everywhere. Is that true? I am not from this area and did not encounter people like this prior to moving here for work.

Basically anywhere with money will have this. It's the spoiled rich alpha female archetype. In working class areas these "forces of nature" are mama bears who are easier to deflect because they always have personal problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you imagine taking notes on people and cross-referencing them into a character type more elaborate than a Tarantino script description?

It’s not like she’s a trained CIA profiler, she’s just a SAHM with nothing to do but instantly label people she meets.

Instantly labeling is one thing that requires a one-word description: snobby, manipulative, shy, etc.

OP’s description of this “type” is the diatribe of a tinfoil hat conspiracy theorist.

There just are sahm that are bored without careers, so they funnel all that energy and ambition into their personal lives. They are intelligent, ambitious, and competitive. Unfortunately they've married someone with more money, so they sahm.

Also they're annoying to OP, but that's a her problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:YOU NEED TO LEAVE THE AREA. No other options OP.

I appreciate the bluntness. But where?

I'm genuinely asking. I do sometimes think I just am ill suited to the DC area because this annoys me so much and it feels like a very common personality type here. I can't just pick up and leave as I have a job and kids and a spouse. But I am open to thinking about it. Some people say there are people like this everywhere. Is that true? I am not from this area and did not encounter people like this prior to moving here for work.

Basically anywhere with money will have this. It's the spoiled rich alpha female archetype. In working class areas these "forces of nature" are mama bears who are easier to deflect because they always have personal problems.

But not everyone like this is rich. They just have leverage. Even in a wealthy community, you don't necessarily need wealth to be like this. I think of the way some of the rich ladies at my barre studio will clamor over certain instructors, and how some of those instructors use that popularity to get stuff they want out of those ladies. Maybe the instructor is very charismatic and good at her job, or maybe it's a hot guy who knows these women love getting attention and compliments from him.

All you need is leverage. Of course, that's if your goal is to manipulate and dominate people. Plenty of people don't think in these terms and might even have leverage they never use in this way. It's a certain personality type who is maybe high on the narcissism scale, low on the empathy scale, and enjoys the high they get in making people do what they want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you imagine taking notes on people and cross-referencing them into a character type more elaborate than a Tarantino script description?

It’s not like she’s a trained CIA profiler, she’s just a SAHM with nothing to do but instantly label people she meets.

Instantly labeling is one thing that requires a one-word description: snobby, manipulative, shy, etc.

OP’s description of this “type” is the diatribe of a tinfoil hat conspiracy theorist.

There just are sahm that are bored without careers, so they funnel all that energy and ambition into their personal lives. They are intelligent, ambitious, and competitive. Unfortunately they've married someone with more money, so they sahm.

Also they're annoying to OP, but that's a her problem.

Not everyone like this is a SAHM. Some people are just socially competitive and willing to do things other people aren't in order to get what they want.

I do view it as an anti-social behavior, ultimately. I prefer people who are honest about their wants and will just ask, and accept no as an answer, to people who will try to manipulate me into doing things for them or giving them things using passive aggressive means. It just strikes me as a weird an unproductive game.