So tired of MIL acting like she’s the hostess in my home

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:MIL is stepping in because of OP’s weird, stringent food rules. If you have house guests, feed them. “We eat at 5” and not allowing food and drink otherwise is being a bad host.

Are you really unable to read? I have said numerous times that I am hosting houseguests for multiple days. We serve breakfast, lunch, cocktail hour with appetizers and dinner, and the kitchen is open any time someone wants anything. But you tried it!

Oh yes, I see now that you posted almost this same exact comment earlier! There is no way that someone like you is the easy-going hostess you’re trying to portray yourself as. You’re being too controlling with what and when your houseguests can eat/drink. Your MIL feels the need to step in, apparently with good reason.

Disagree. MIL is a guest. A guest does not start offering others wine and snacks. She’s certainly welcome to ask for it. But to start serving it as if she is the host? No.
Team OP!

She is also serving it to OP…she knows she’s not the host. She’s trying to be helpful to her host, trying to take something off her hands, and OP is being a childish ass.

OP doesn’t need or want her “help” and this has been communicated to her multiple times — therefore, to persist is rude. Period.

Not as rude as not offering the guests food and drink. MIL did everyone a favor. OP should take note and learn something and avoid future faux pas.

OP is offering tons of food and wine and an open kitchen. Could you seriously ask for more?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MIL is stepping in because of OP’s weird, stringent food rules. If you have house guests, feed them. “We eat at 5” and not allowing food and drink otherwise is being a bad host.

Are you really unable to read? I have said numerous times that I am hosting houseguests for multiple days. We serve breakfast, lunch, cocktail hour with appetizers and dinner, and the kitchen is open any time someone wants anything. But you tried it!

Oh yes, I see now that you posted almost this same exact comment earlier! There is no way that someone like you is the easy-going hostess you’re trying to portray yourself as. You’re being too controlling with what and when your houseguests can eat/drink. Your MIL feels the need to step in, apparently with good reason.

Disagree. MIL is a guest. A guest does not start offering others wine and snacks. She’s certainly welcome to ask for it. But to start serving it as if she is the host? No.
Team OP!

She is also serving it to OP…she knows she’s not the host. She’s trying to be helpful to her host, trying to take something off her hands, and OP is being a childish ass.

OP doesn’t need or want her “help” and this has been communicated to her multiple times — therefore, to persist is rude. Period.

Not as rude as not offering the guests food and drink. MIL did everyone a favor. OP should take note and learn something and avoid future faux pas.

OP is offering tons of food and wine and an open kitchen. Could you seriously ask for more?

Food was not out/served. That's why MIL offered to serve it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MIL is stepping in because of OP’s weird, stringent food rules. If you have house guests, feed them. “We eat at 5” and not allowing food and drink otherwise is being a bad host.

Are you really unable to read? I have said numerous times that I am hosting houseguests for multiple days. We serve breakfast, lunch, cocktail hour with appetizers and dinner, and the kitchen is open any time someone wants anything. But you tried it!

Oh yes, I see now that you posted almost this same exact comment earlier! There is no way that someone like you is the easy-going hostess you’re trying to portray yourself as. You’re being too controlling with what and when your houseguests can eat/drink. Your MIL feels the need to step in, apparently with good reason.

Disagree. MIL is a guest. A guest does not start offering others wine and snacks. She’s certainly welcome to ask for it. But to start serving it as if she is the host? No.
Team OP!

She is also serving it to OP…she knows she’s not the host. She’s trying to be helpful to her host, trying to take something off her hands, and OP is being a childish ass.

OP doesn’t need or want her “help” and this has been communicated to her multiple times — therefore, to persist is rude. Period.

Not as rude as not offering the guests food and drink. MIL did everyone a favor. OP should take note and learn something and avoid future faux pas.

OP is offering tons of food and wine and an open kitchen. Could you seriously ask for more?

Food was not out/served. That's why MIL offered to serve it.

That’s….not necessary when people can help themselves at any time, and when the hosts are actively serving three meals a day and a cocktail hour. If you need to be served more food than that, what is your damage or disorder?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MIL is stepping in because of OP’s weird, stringent food rules. If you have house guests, feed them. “We eat at 5” and not allowing food and drink otherwise is being a bad host.

Are you really unable to read? I have said numerous times that I am hosting houseguests for multiple days. We serve breakfast, lunch, cocktail hour with appetizers and dinner, and the kitchen is open any time someone wants anything. But you tried it!

Oh yes, I see now that you posted almost this same exact comment earlier! There is no way that someone like you is the easy-going hostess you’re trying to portray yourself as. You’re being too controlling with what and when your houseguests can eat/drink. Your MIL feels the need to step in, apparently with good reason.

Disagree. MIL is a guest. A guest does not start offering others wine and snacks. She’s certainly welcome to ask for it. But to start serving it as if she is the host? No.
Team OP!

Presumably others wanted it. OP didn’t say mil ate it all herself. The crowd was hungry.

She is also serving it to OP…she knows she’s not the host. She’s trying to be helpful to her host, trying to take something off her hands, and OP is being a childish ass.

OP doesn’t need or want her “help” and this has been communicated to her multiple times — therefore, to persist is rude. Period.

Not as rude as not offering the guests food and drink. MIL did everyone a favor. OP should take note and learn something and avoid future faux pas.

OP is offering tons of food and wine and an open kitchen. Could you seriously ask for more?

Food was not out/served. That's why MIL offered to serve it.

That’s….not necessary when people can help themselves at any time, and when the hosts are actively serving three meals a day and a cocktail hour. If you need to be served more food than that, what is your damage or disorder?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MIL is stepping in because of OP’s weird, stringent food rules. If you have house guests, feed them. “We eat at 5” and not allowing food and drink otherwise is being a bad host.

Are you really unable to read? I have said numerous times that I am hosting houseguests for multiple days. We serve breakfast, lunch, cocktail hour with appetizers and dinner, and the kitchen is open any time someone wants anything. But you tried it!

Oh yes, I see now that you posted almost this same exact comment earlier! There is no way that someone like you is the easy-going hostess you’re trying to portray yourself as. You’re being too controlling with what and when your houseguests can eat/drink. Your MIL feels the need to step in, apparently with good reason.

Disagree. MIL is a guest. A guest does not start offering others wine and snacks. She’s certainly welcome to ask for it. But to start serving it as if she is the host? No.
Team OP!

She is also serving it to OP…she knows she’s not the host. She’s trying to be helpful to her host, trying to take something off her hands, and OP is being a childish ass.

OP doesn’t need or want her “help” and this has been communicated to her multiple times — therefore, to persist is rude. Period.

Not as rude as not offering the guests food and drink. MIL did everyone a favor. OP should take note and learn something and avoid future faux pas.

OP is offering tons of food and wine and an open kitchen. Could you seriously ask for more?

Stop with the open kitchen nonsense. Clearly it was off limits at that time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MIL is stepping in because of OP’s weird, stringent food rules. If you have house guests, feed them. “We eat at 5” and not allowing food and drink otherwise is being a bad host.

Are you really unable to read? I have said numerous times that I am hosting houseguests for multiple days. We serve breakfast, lunch, cocktail hour with appetizers and dinner, and the kitchen is open any time someone wants anything. But you tried it!

Oh yes, I see now that you posted almost this same exact comment earlier! There is no way that someone like you is the easy-going hostess you’re trying to portray yourself as. You’re being too controlling with what and when your houseguests can eat/drink. Your MIL feels the need to step in, apparently with good reason.

Disagree. MIL is a guest. A guest does not start offering others wine and snacks. She’s certainly welcome to ask for it. But to start serving it as if she is the host? No.
Team OP!

She is also serving it to OP…she knows she’s not the host. She’s trying to be helpful to her host, trying to take something off her hands, and OP is being a childish ass.

OP doesn’t need or want her “help” and this has been communicated to her multiple times — therefore, to persist is rude. Period.

Not as rude as not offering the guests food and drink. MIL did everyone a favor. OP should take note and learn something and avoid future faux pas.

OP is offering tons of food and wine and an open kitchen. Could you seriously ask for more?

Stop with the open kitchen nonsense. Clearly it was off limits at that time.

It wasn’t. You just have poor reading comprehension.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MIL is stepping in because of OP’s weird, stringent food rules. If you have house guests, feed them. “We eat at 5” and not allowing food and drink otherwise is being a bad host.

Are you really unable to read? I have said numerous times that I am hosting houseguests for multiple days. We serve breakfast, lunch, cocktail hour with appetizers and dinner, and the kitchen is open any time someone wants anything. But you tried it!

Oh yes, I see now that you posted almost this same exact comment earlier! There is no way that someone like you is the easy-going hostess you’re trying to portray yourself as. You’re being too controlling with what and when your houseguests can eat/drink. Your MIL feels the need to step in, apparently with good reason.

Disagree. MIL is a guest. A guest does not start offering others wine and snacks. She’s certainly welcome to ask for it. But to start serving it as if she is the host? No.
Team OP!

She is also serving it to OP…she knows she’s not the host. She’s trying to be helpful to her host, trying to take something off her hands, and OP is being a childish ass.

OP doesn’t need or want her “help” and this has been communicated to her multiple times — therefore, to persist is rude. Period.

Not as rude as not offering the guests food and drink. MIL did everyone a favor. OP should take note and learn something and avoid future faux pas.

OP is offering tons of food and wine and an open kitchen. Could you seriously ask for more?

Stop with the open kitchen nonsense. Clearly it was off limits at that time.

It wasn’t. You just have poor reading comprehension.

Sorry all but MiL were free to eat and drink. That’s the only rule.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MIL is stepping in because of OP’s weird, stringent food rules. If you have house guests, feed them. “We eat at 5” and not allowing food and drink otherwise is being a bad host.

Are you really unable to read? I have said numerous times that I am hosting houseguests for multiple days. We serve breakfast, lunch, cocktail hour with appetizers and dinner, and the kitchen is open any time someone wants anything. But you tried it!

Oh yes, I see now that you posted almost this same exact comment earlier! There is no way that someone like you is the easy-going hostess you’re trying to portray yourself as. You’re being too controlling with what and when your houseguests can eat/drink. Your MIL feels the need to step in, apparently with good reason.

Nope. It’s not he house, she’s not the hostess and she is RUDE.

It's normal for several female family members to pitch in to help on a holiday. Your "rude" is other people's normal. If you really want all guests to stay away from handling any food or beverages, then hire a catering team. That serves food and beverages to guests the entire time. And dinner at a normal time. Then it's all solved rather than just blame everybody for starving or being thirsty or for offering those folks items.

Who are you people that don’t think eating breakfast around 7, lunch around noon, cocktails around 5, dinner around 6 and an open kitchen where anyone can help themselves is somehow eating at “abnormal” times or not providing enough food? Even my literal linebacker brother doesn’t need someone to bring him a sandwich every 45 seconds.

Not everyone eats 3 square meals, some skip breakfast and eat smaller meals during the day. I also don’t like people telling me when i can eat.

Maybe you’re not cut out to be a houseguest.

Do you offer people fruit to eat out back when the kitchen is closed? Stingy cheap hosts are the worst.

Aww, and you even tried to be one of the cool girls by referencing a DCUM in-joke.

Your reading comprehension is terrible. And you should speak with a professional about why you can’t go 90 minutes without stuffing food in your face (which, luckily, you wouldn’t have to do at OP’s anyway, since she’s repeatedly stated that she makes it clear to all guests that hers is an open kitchen. Whew! Dodged that bullet).

Better than being a hand maiden for a troll. Why fight OPs fight for her?

OP isn’t a troll. She’s correct in how she feels. All the ridiculous people jumping all over her like a pack of slavering hyenas are the trolls.

Whatever you say OP.

Go ask Jeff. Do it. I can’t wait to watch you eat crow.

Wow, you are unwell.

So you won’t do it, because you know you’d be proven wrong in your baseless, yet repeated and strident insistence that those of us who agree with OP *are* OP.

Figures.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Most of the posts defending the op appear to be from the op…

+1. But she’s complaining about her MIL offering her coffee while she’s slaving away at breakfast. Obviously, that’s a kind gesture and OP just wants to hate her MIL. Not much to defend.

NP. You can’t “offer someone coffee” when they’ve already made the coffee, and it’s in their home. That’s like “offering” someone money from their own wallet!

Haha! “DIL, you deserve a treat! Why don’t you take $200 from your wallet and buy yourself something nice?”

Exactly, only be sure to say, “On me” so it’s clear to everyone how generous and thoughtful you are with someone else’s own money.

This is a perfect analogy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MIL is stepping in because of OP’s weird, stringent food rules. If you have house guests, feed them. “We eat at 5” and not allowing food and drink otherwise is being a bad host.

Are you really unable to read? I have said numerous times that I am hosting houseguests for multiple days. We serve breakfast, lunch, cocktail hour with appetizers and dinner, and the kitchen is open any time someone wants anything. But you tried it!

Oh yes, I see now that you posted almost this same exact comment earlier! There is no way that someone like you is the easy-going hostess you’re trying to portray yourself as. You’re being too controlling with what and when your houseguests can eat/drink. Your MIL feels the need to step in, apparently with good reason.

Nope. It’s not he house, she’s not the hostess and she is RUDE.

It's normal for several female family members to pitch in to help on a holiday. Your "rude" is other people's normal. If you really want all guests to stay away from handling any food or beverages, then hire a catering team. That serves food and beverages to guests the entire time. And dinner at a normal time. Then it's all solved rather than just blame everybody for starving or being thirsty or for offering those folks items.

Help is only help if it is wanted. I have an aunt and uncle who prefer to do everything themselves, so even though most of us help in each other’s home and appreciate help in our homes, we respect our aunt and uncle when they host.

Why are you saying it is normal for “female” family members to pitch in to help on a holiday? Hmm.

I'm trying to find a solution to your inability to feed people. You need humans to hand people food. You are incapable of doing it properly, you are too narcissistic to let a family member help, so hire professionals.

When did OP say she doesn’t allow anyone to help? Help is—when a host or hostess is ready to do so—clearing the table or bringing slices of cake to other guests. Help is not telling someone who has made coffee and breakfast that they may have coffee and breakfast, as if that was ever in doubt. Do you also go into people’s closets and tell them they may wear their own shirts?

You don't get it. you missed it

They get it perfectly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you are a bad host. You obviously refuse to take responsibility as to why your MIL feels compelled to offer guests food. BECAUSE THEY ARE STARVING!!!!!!!!!!!@

Stop writing poorly crafted ALL CAPS MULTIPLE EXCLAMATION POINTS fanfiction.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you are a bad host. You obviously refuse to take responsibility as to why your MIL feels compelled to offer guests food. BECAUSE THEY ARE STARVING!!!!!!!!!!!@

You really need to take some medication. No one is starving at 3pm and requires wine and snacks. But go on with your crazy self. It’s amusing.

You're gaslighting. This hostess needs the meds for her severe OCD and rigid meal restrictions.

I’m gaslighting someone who posted in all caps that at 3pm, people are starving followed by 10 exclamation marks when none of that was true? Really? Yeah, no. Please enlighten us to the post where OP has rigid meal restrictions and where she says no one can eat outside of the regular meal times. What page and time stamp?

Un read the OP its right there. Not at 3. Only at 5 when the host will serve those things.

OPEN KITCHEN.

God almighty, you people cannot read.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you are a bad host. You obviously refuse to take responsibility as to why your MIL feels compelled to offer guests food. BECAUSE THEY ARE STARVING!!!!!!!!!!!@

You really need to take some medication. No one is starving at 3pm and requires wine and snacks. But go on with your crazy self. It’s amusing.

You're gaslighting. This hostess needs the meds for her severe OCD and rigid meal restrictions.

I’m gaslighting someone who posted in all caps that at 3pm, people are starving followed by 10 exclamation marks when none of that was true? Really? Yeah, no. Please enlighten us to the post where OP has rigid meal restrictions and where she says no one can eat outside of the regular meal times. What page and time stamp?

Un read the OP its right there. Not at 3. Only at 5 when the host will serve those things.

OP has also said several times she has an OPEN KITCHEN POLICY.

Everyone is welcome to help themselves with the exception of MIL.

I’m going to type very slowly for you, in hopes that it will aid you in reading comprehension, since clearly that is an area of struggle for you.

No, you are incorrect.
MIL may get HERSELF food from the open kitchen.
She may not be a ridiculous, insufferable, attention seeking person who loudly takes over and pretends to be the hostess, while “serving” food and wine to other guests which is already planned for its use at another time.
She also may not tell OP that food and drinks exist, and that OP can have them, which OP bought and prepared.

Do you get it now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you are a bad host. You obviously refuse to take responsibility as to why your MIL feels compelled to offer guests food. BECAUSE THEY ARE STARVING!!!!!!!!!!!@

You really need to take some medication. No one is starving at 3pm and requires wine and snacks. But go on with your crazy self. It’s amusing.

You're gaslighting. This hostess needs the meds for her severe OCD and rigid meal restrictions.

I’m gaslighting someone who posted in all caps that at 3pm, people are starving followed by 10 exclamation marks when none of that was true? Really? Yeah, no. Please enlighten us to the post where OP has rigid meal restrictions and where she says no one can eat outside of the regular meal times. What page and time stamp?

Un read the OP its right there. Not at 3. Only at 5 when the host will serve those things.

OPEN KITCHEN.

God almighty, you people cannot read.

Exactly. So mil was helping herself and others who were hungry. Because the kitchen was open.

[Anonymous]

[vimeo]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you are a bad host. You obviously refuse to take responsibility as to why your MIL feels compelled to offer guests food. BECAUSE THEY ARE STARVING!!!!!!!!!!!@

You really need to take some medication. No one is starving at 3pm and requires wine and snacks. But go on with your crazy self. It’s amusing.

You're gaslighting. This hostess needs the meds for her severe OCD and rigid meal restrictions.

I’m gaslighting someone who posted in all caps that at 3pm, people are starving followed by 10 exclamation marks when none of that was true? Really? Yeah, no. Please enlighten us to the post where OP has rigid meal restrictions and where she says no one can eat outside of the regular meal times. What page and time stamp?

Un read the OP its right there. Not at 3. Only at 5 when the host will serve those things.

OP has also said several times she has an OPEN KITCHEN POLICY.

Everyone is welcome to help themselves with the exception of MIL.

I’m going to type very slowly for you, in hopes that it will aid you in reading comprehension, since clearly that is an area of struggle for you.

No, you are incorrect.
MIL may get HERSELF food from the open kitchen.
She may not be a ridiculous, insufferable, attention seeking person who loudly takes over and pretends to be the hostess, while “serving” food and wine to other guests which is already planned for its use at another time.
She also may not tell OP that food and drinks exist, and that OP can have them, which OP bought and prepared.

Do you get it now?

No because its polite to offer things to others if you are going to the kitchen and are up already. Jesus, the manners are appalling here. If OP was on the ball she would have already done it.