DH has had a standing fri night zoom call with college buddies since pandemic began

[Anonymous]

You can’t just kill his plans. There is nothing wrong with a kid staying up late watching a movie once in a pandemic. Did he put the kid to bed when he was done with the call? That would have been my sticking point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I like people that keep their word. Especially when I’m married to them.

this is it in a nutshell.

DH broke trust. All the rest of the rationalizing by some of you PPs on his behalf is nonsense.

The histrionics on this thread.

So he allowed a difficult child who wasn't ready to sleep to have electronics one night. Kid was quiet and happy. Could easily have been scooped up and put into his own bed once asleep. And???

Exactly. I really have no idea what OP got so upset about. It would be one thing if the child was upset and disrupted her friends time, but doesn't sound like that was the case. Sounds like everything was just...fine.

+1 If DH does this every time the kids are his responsibility, would be a different story. No indication that's the case. So, yeah, I'm inclined to think she manufactured drama due to rigidity over bedtime rules and general resentment of DH rather than this specific non-incident.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I like people that keep their word. Especially when I’m married to them.

this is it in a nutshell.

DH broke trust. All the rest of the rationalizing by some of you PPs on his behalf is nonsense.

The histrionics on this thread.

So he allowed a difficult child who wasn't ready to sleep to have electronics one night. Kid was quiet and happy. Could easily have been scooped up and put into his own bed once asleep. And???

Exactly. I really have no idea what OP got so upset about. It would be one thing if the child was upset and disrupted her friends time, but doesn't sound like that was the case. Sounds like everything was just...fine.

I get why she is upset. The only reason her DH could do slack off is because she put the work in every other day to put the child to sleep. It’s like someone taking your filled out punch card and getting the free cup of coffee for themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s funny how many of you don’t mention the husband at all in responses. Just pile onto the wife. If she’d not yelled would you still be ok with dad literally phoning in parenting?

For one night? Sure. OP never said it's a habit and even it's an occasional habit I wouldn't care provided DC was safe and content.

Sounds like dh is zooming again tonight! Doesn’t sound like a one off.

That and he didn’t check in before setting it up. We don’t need one another’s permission but my partner and I always check to make sure there is coverage. sounds like he does a lot of assuming she’ll carry the weight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Advice for all younger women.
Do what you like and want and do it on regular basis. Nothing worse than a resentful spouse who is nasty, biting, but never actually goes to do things that they want.
Do you know how your male partner does this? Doesn't ask your permission for a simple thing as a zoom call? Do the same.
I go skiing on my own. I used to go to the movies, on my own. I go shopping on my own. I go on 2 hours walks, on my own(ok there is the dog too!).
I travel to Europe, on my own. I go on beach vacations on my own. I am also a great mom and a wife, and I do not resent my DH when he does things on his own.
You are welcome.

This all of this.

If only the OP’s husband thought like you two: “I do things on my own. I am also a great husband and father, and I do not resent my DW or act passive aggressive when she does things on her own.”

+1.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I like people that keep their word. Especially when I’m married to them.

this is it in a nutshell.

DH broke trust. All the rest of the rationalizing by some of you PPs on his behalf is nonsense.

The histrionics on this thread.

So he allowed a difficult child who wasn't ready to sleep to have electronics one night. Kid was quiet and happy. Could easily have been scooped up and put into his own bed once asleep. And???

Exactly. I really have no idea what OP got so upset about. It would be one thing if the child was upset and disrupted her friends time, but doesn't sound like that was the case. Sounds like everything was just...fine.

I get why she is upset. The only reason her DH could do slack off is because she put the work in every other day to put the child to sleep. It’s like someone taking your filled out punch card and getting the free cup of coffee for themselves.

OP never said that. There is a lot of projecting on this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Advice for all younger women.
Do what you like and want and do it on regular basis. Nothing worse than a resentful spouse who is nasty, biting, but never actually goes to do things that they want.
Do you know how your male partner does this? Doesn't ask your permission for a simple thing as a zoom call? Do the same.
I go skiing on my own. I used to go to the movies, on my own. I go shopping on my own. I go on 2 hours walks, on my own(ok there is the dog too!).
I travel to Europe, on my own. I go on beach vacations on my own. I am also a great mom and a wife, and I do not resent my DH when he does things on his own.
You are welcome.

This all of this.

If only the OP’s husband thought like you two: “I do things on my own. I am also a great husband and father, and I do not resent my DW or act passive aggressive when she does things on her own.”

OP could have had time with her friends. Her time with her friends was sabotaged by her own doing not her DH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s funny how many of you don’t mention the husband at all in responses. Just pile onto the wife. If she’d not yelled would you still be ok with dad literally phoning in parenting?

For one night? Sure. OP never said it's a habit and even it's an occasional habit I wouldn't care provided DC was safe and content.

Sounds like dh is zooming again tonight! Doesn’t sound like a one off.

That and he didn’t check in before setting it up. We don’t need one another’s permission but my partner and I always check to make sure there is coverage. sounds like he does a lot of assuming she’ll carry the weight.

+1
And he didn’t do it Thursday night.
I just don’t understand the pile on against OP. I’m all for spouses taking time for themselves, but that means when it’s the other person’s turn, you step up so they can enjoy their time knowing it’s covered.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Advice for all younger women.
Do what you like and want and do it on regular basis. Nothing worse than a resentful spouse who is nasty, biting, but never actually goes to do things that they want.
Do you know how your male partner does this? Doesn't ask your permission for a simple thing as a zoom call? Do the same.
I go skiing on my own. I used to go to the movies, on my own. I go shopping on my own. I go on 2 hours walks, on my own(ok there is the dog too!).
I travel to Europe, on my own. I go on beach vacations on my own. I am also a great mom and a wife, and I do not resent my DH when he does things on his own.
You are welcome.

This all of this.

If only the OP’s husband thought like you two: “I do things on my own. I am also a great husband and father, and I do not resent my DW or act passive aggressive when she does things on her own.”

OP could have had time with her friends. Her time with her friends was sabotaged by her own doing not her DH.

So?
He still didn’t need to act resentful and passive aggressive that she was doing her thing. Right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s funny how many of you don’t mention the husband at all in responses. Just pile onto the wife. If she’d not yelled would you still be ok with dad literally phoning in parenting?

He didn’t abandon a child in need of care. The kid was safe and happy for a short period of time.

^^^How is that phoning in parenting? It’s not like he resorted to screen babysitting all day long (which imho is actually okay once in a while...like when mcps had off yesterday and I had to run back to back meetings all day.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s funny how many of you don’t mention the husband at all in responses. Just pile onto the wife. If she’d not yelled would you still be ok with dad literally phoning in parenting?

He didn’t abandon a child in need of care. The kid was safe and happy for a short period of time.

^^^How is that phoning in parenting? It’s not like he resorted to screen babysitting all day long (which imho is actually okay once in a while...like when mcps had off yesterday and I had to run back to back meetings all day.)

I’m guessing you’ve gotten nailed for this as well?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I like people that keep their word. Especially when I’m married to them.

this is it in a nutshell.

DH broke trust. All the rest of the rationalizing by some of you PPs on his behalf is nonsense.

The histrionics on this thread.

So he allowed a difficult child who wasn't ready to sleep to have electronics one night. Kid was quiet and happy. Could easily have been scooped up and put into his own bed once asleep. And???

Exactly. I really have no idea what OP got so upset about. It would be one thing if the child was upset and disrupted her friends time, but doesn't sound like that was the case. Sounds like everything was just...fine.

I get why she is upset. The only reason her DH could do slack off is because she put the work in every other day to put the child to sleep. It’s like someone taking your filled out punch card and getting the free cup of coffee for themselves.

OP never said that. There is a lot of projecting on this thread.

She has been doing this for the last 50 Friday nights. She said so in the OP.

[Anonymous]

OH FFS he has been given free range every Friday for 10 months. One night of inconvenience as not asking too much. And it’s not a debate as to how he put his kid to bed, he didn’t put his kid to bed. After agreeing to. You don’t half put out a fire you see it through.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. These posts are in bizarro world. OP, rest assured every rational, logical person with cognitive function who reads your post would side with you.

+1.

Agree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I like people that keep their word. Especially when I’m married to them.

this is it in a nutshell.

DH broke trust. All the rest of the rationalizing by some of you PPs on his behalf is nonsense.

The histrionics on this thread.

So he allowed a difficult child who wasn't ready to sleep to have electronics one night. Kid was quiet and happy. Could easily have been scooped up and put into his own bed once asleep. And???

Exactly. I really have no idea what OP got so upset about. It would be one thing if the child was upset and disrupted her friends time, but doesn't sound like that was the case. Sounds like everything was just...fine.

I get why she is upset. The only reason her DH could do slack off is because she put the work in every other day to put the child to sleep. It’s like someone taking your filled out punch card and getting the free cup of coffee for themselves.

OP never said that. There is a lot of projecting on this thread.

She has been doing this for the last 50 Friday nights. She said so in the OP.

And the other 6 nights/week?