DH has had a standing fri night zoom call with college buddies since pandemic began

Anonymous
So the violation was handing the kid a screen so he could do something for himself? Don't all parents do that at some point? A parents mental health is far more important than an occasional bit of extra screentime for the kids in these times
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:So the violation was handing the kid a screen so he could do something for himself? Don't all parents do that at some point? A parents mental health is far more important than an occasional bit of extra screentime for the kids in these times


DC has already watched no lie 4 hours of TV today after distance learning ended and while we finished our job responsibilities fri afternoon. Throwing him back on screens when he is supposed to be sleeping so you're not late for a zoom call that you have done every fri since March is a really messed up sense of priorities to me.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:So the violation was handing the kid a screen so he could do something for himself? Don't all parents do that at some point? A parents mental health is far more important than an occasional bit of extra screentime for the kids in these times


My read is that the violation is not handing him a screen, it's saying "yes I'll handle Kid B's bedtime tonight so you can join your call" and instead just giving the kid a screen and not handling bedtime so he could join his own call.
Anonymous
Looks like he handled the kids bedtime to me 😂
Anonymous
So rather than just wanting your DH to handle bedtime, you wanted him to handle bedtime EXACTLY the same way you would have. It's that attitude that is going to continue to cause problems in your marriage.
Anonymous
Did he actually agree to handle bedtime? Does he do bedtime any other nights of the week, and if so, does he always read to the kids?
Anonymous

OP,

If you'd written your post in a different way, you'd have received way more supportive answers... there is an art to posting on DCUM.

Anyway, I support you. Your husband is not doing his basic parenting job. He should know when his kid's bedtime is, and how to put him to bed properly, and when he said yes to bedtime, he should have known it meant the whole bedtime routine, not fake phone babysitting.

Shouting at him during his call with his friends was humiliating enough that he might learn his lesson. Next time he might pay more attention to his duties.

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Looks like he handled the kids bedtime to me 😂


OP again. He has tried to apologize to me and only made me more angry in the process. He says in retrospect he should have insisted on putting older DC to bed on thurs night so I wouldn't have felt like I had to do it two nights in a row. ?!!!!!!!
And told me he has scheduled a zoom call with a different group of buddies for Saturday night of this week. Without checking with me.

I canceled my call tonight of course, as was mid-blowout with him.
Anonymous
Team DH.

You sound like a psycho. You can’t give 1 night out of 7 ... wow!
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:So rather than just wanting your DH to handle bedtime, you wanted him to handle bedtime EXACTLY the same way you would have. It's that attitude that is going to continue to cause problems in your marriage.


This. He handled it.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Team DH.

You sound like a psycho. You can’t give 1 night out of 7 ... wow!


+100

Who yells over something this small??
Anonymous
What a b....
Anonymous
Team DW. He couldn't let you have one Friday night? He put DC in your bedroom?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Looks like he handled the kids bedtime to me 😂


OP again. He has tried to apologize to me and only made me more angry in the process. He says in retrospect he should have insisted on putting older DC to bed on thurs night so I wouldn't have felt like I had to do it two nights in a row. ?!!!!!!!
And told me he has scheduled a zoom call with a different group of buddies for Saturday night of this week. Without checking with me.

I canceled my call tonight of course, as was mid-blowout with him.


He has to ask permission before he calls his friends?

If you hadn’t started yelling at your husband you wouldn’t have had to cancel your own zoom. You made that choice.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Looks like he handled the kids bedtime to me 😂


OP again. He has tried to apologize to me and only made me more angry in the process. He says in retrospect he should have insisted on putting older DC to bed on thurs night so I wouldn't have felt like I had to do it two nights in a row. ?!!!!!!!
And told me he has scheduled a zoom call with a different group of buddies for Saturday night of this week. Without checking with me.

I canceled my call tonight of course, as was mid-blowout with him.


He has to ask permission before he calls his friends?

If you hadn’t started yelling at your husband you wouldn’t have had to cancel your own zoom. You made that choice.


She had to do bedtime 2 days in a row!!!!!!! /s
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