DH has had a standing fri night zoom call with college buddies since pandemic began

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:this really isn't about parenting or bed times. Its about marriage. Husband has had his sacred friday night call every week since march. Wife asked him ahead of time to put older kid to bed so she could do a call for once on this friday, which is when her friends could. He agreed, but then actually didn't do it because he wanted to do his call no matter what. It was selfish of him not to make the gesture ONCE and give up his buddy time, when she has taken every friday night and put both kids to bed. I am also making the assumption that OPs husband is self centered in other ways as well.

Well, you are right. It’s been fun arguing though

I said this a billion pages ago, but people just like to make up stories so they can insult OPs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the kid was playing on a screen in your bed, then why not send him to his own bedroom with the screen if that’s where you wanted to do your zoom call? Crisis averted.

I’m sure that she could have done a lot of things if her husband had told her that he couldn’t put the child to bed. But that’s not what happened.

As a veteran parent and all around normal person, if I walked into my room and was surprised to see Larlo playing on a screen in my room minutes before I planned to hop on zoom from my bed (which imho is weird), then my first reaction would not be to track down my DH and yell at him to handle it. Instead, I would have simply told the kid to take the phone to his bedroom and play quietly.

Crisis averted.

If the kid was still up after both parents were done zooming, then I would tell DH to retrieve the phone and finish putting the kid to sleep.

As a veteran parent and all around normal person, if I told my spouse that I was going to put one of the kids to sleep while they put the other one to sleep, I would put my kid to bed. No one would have to track me down.

And I am having trouble believing that you are a parent.
1). I zoom from the desk in my room all of the time. It’s m the only room in the house besides the bathroom with a door that locks. With all of us home all of the time, that’s imperative.
2). If the kid was fine sleeping in his own bed without argument, then dad would have put him there. If you ever took care of a five year old, you would know this.

Locked doors? Weird.

It’s easy to send a 5 year old to bed with a screen.

And, as long as you didn’t make the rookie mistake of instituting a multi step bedtime routine, it’s similarly easy to send 5 year old to bed without a screen.

Yeah. You don’t have kids.

I have 4.

And, we intentionally decided not to create monsters. Rigid routines aren’t good. Power struggles aren’t good. Kids who aren’t equipped to play independently underscore parenting failures.

Sorry if you’re struggling with your kids.

DP. Are you the weirdo smug lady who posted on here earlier about how awesome and laid back you are. Give it up, lady. You aren't witty and you're no role model. You protest so much about what a great mom you are, I'm quite sure you created little smug monsters. Apples and the tree and all that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the kid was playing on a screen in your bed, then why not send him to his own bedroom with the screen if that’s where you wanted to do your zoom call? Crisis averted.

I’m sure that she could have done a lot of things if her husband had told her that he couldn’t put the child to bed. But that’s not what happened.

As a veteran parent and all around normal person, if I walked into my room and was surprised to see Larlo playing on a screen in my room minutes before I planned to hop on zoom from my bed (which imho is weird), then my first reaction would not be to track down my DH and yell at him to handle it. Instead, I would have simply told the kid to take the phone to his bedroom and play quietly.

Crisis averted.

If the kid was still up after both parents were done zooming, then I would tell DH to retrieve the phone and finish putting the kid to sleep.

As a veteran parent and all around normal person, if I told my spouse that I was going to put one of the kids to sleep while they put the other one to sleep, I would put my kid to bed. No one would have to track me down.

And I am having trouble believing that you are a parent.
1). I zoom from the desk in my room all of the time. It’s m the only room in the house besides the bathroom with a door that locks. With all of us home all of the time, that’s imperative.
2). If the kid was fine sleeping in his own bed without argument, then dad would have put him there. If you ever took care of a five year old, you would know this.

Locked doors? Weird.

It’s easy to send a 5 year old to bed with a screen.

And, as long as you didn’t make the rookie mistake of instituting a multi step bedtime routine, it’s similarly easy to send 5 year old to bed without a screen.

Yeah. You don’t have kids.

I have 4.

And, we intentionally decided not to create monsters. Rigid routines aren’t good. Power struggles aren’t good. Kids who aren’t equipped to play independently underscore parenting failures.

Sorry if you’re struggling with your kids.

DP. Are you the weirdo smug lady who posted on here earlier about how awesome and laid back you are. Give it up, lady. You aren't witty and you're no role model. You protest so much about what a great mom you are, I'm quite sure you created little smug monsters. Apples and the tree and all that.

If you were prompted to respond to the immediate preceding post, then the comment obviously triggered you...which means you have employed rigid routines, are dealing with power struggles, and your kids don’t know how to play independently.

I’m not sure how or why that makes anyone smug.

This thread is done. It’s become redundant, the OP already checked in with an update, and now posters are just criticizing other posters.

Peace out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the kid was playing on a screen in your bed, then why not send him to his own bedroom with the screen if that’s where you wanted to do your zoom call? Crisis averted.

I’m sure that she could have done a lot of things if her husband had told her that he couldn’t put the child to bed. But that’s not what happened.

As a veteran parent and all around normal person, if I walked into my room and was surprised to see Larlo playing on a screen in my room minutes before I planned to hop on zoom from my bed (which imho is weird), then my first reaction would not be to track down my DH and yell at him to handle it. Instead, I would have simply told the kid to take the phone to his bedroom and play quietly.

Crisis averted.

If the kid was still up after both parents were done zooming, then I would tell DH to retrieve the phone and finish putting the kid to sleep.

As a veteran parent and all around normal person, if I told my spouse that I was going to put one of the kids to sleep while they put the other one to sleep, I would put my kid to bed. No one would have to track me down.

And I am having trouble believing that you are a parent.
1). I zoom from the desk in my room all of the time. It’s m the only room in the house besides the bathroom with a door that locks. With all of us home all of the time, that’s imperative.
2). If the kid was fine sleeping in his own bed without argument, then dad would have put him there. If you ever took care of a five year old, you would know this.

Locked doors? Weird.

It’s easy to send a 5 year old to bed with a screen.

And, as long as you didn’t make the rookie mistake of instituting a multi step bedtime routine, it’s similarly easy to send 5 year old to bed without a screen.

Yeah. You don’t have kids.

I have 4.

And, we intentionally decided not to create monsters. Rigid routines aren’t good. Power struggles aren’t good. Kids who aren’t equipped to play independently underscore parenting failures.

Sorry if you’re struggling with your kids.

DP. Are you the weirdo smug lady who posted on here earlier about how awesome and laid back you are. Give it up, lady. You aren't witty and you're no role model. You protest so much about what a great mom you are, I'm quite sure you created little smug monsters. Apples and the tree and all that.

If you were prompted to respond to the immediate preceding post, then the comment obviously triggered you...which means you have employed rigid routines, are dealing with power struggles, and your kids don’t know how to play independently.

I’m not sure how or why that makes anyone smug.

This thread is done. It’s become redundant, the OP already checked in with an update, and now posters are just criticizing other posters.

Peace out.

Yep. Weirdo smug lady. Anyone who argues with her must be rigid!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:this whole time, i have put our older, harder to get to bed child to bed on fri nights since March so he could do this call. This week several friends, including one with covid, asked to do a fri night zoom call. I told him in advance and asked if he could deal with tougher bedtime kid.

I put younger child to bed, house was silent and dark and assumed older was asleep too when DH logged onto his standing zoom call. Turns out, he had not even bothered to read to older child, he had handed him his phone to watch youtube in a dark room -- our bedroom -- while continuing with his fri night business like he has for the past 10 months. I lost it and started shouting.

He begged off his call and now says I am an abusive spouse who has embarrassed him.

I think everyone’s really on edge and it does sound like you’re being a little difficult to be honest with you. This might be one thing he really looks forward to give him a break and let him do it. I can assure you if the roles were reversed I’m sure he would give you the same courtesy