DH has had a standing fri night zoom call with college buddies since pandemic began

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the kid was playing on a screen in your bed, then why not send him to his own bedroom with the screen if that’s where you wanted to do your zoom call? Crisis averted.

I’m sure that she could have done a lot of things if her husband had told her that he couldn’t put the child to bed. But that’s not what happened.

As a veteran parent and all around normal person, if I walked into my room and was surprised to see Larlo playing on a screen in my room minutes before I planned to hop on zoom from my bed (which imho is weird), then my first reaction would not be to track down my DH and yell at him to handle it. Instead, I would have simply told the kid to take the phone to his bedroom and play quietly.

Crisis averted.

If the kid was still up after both parents were done zooming, then I would tell DH to retrieve the phone and finish putting the kid to sleep.

As a veteran parent and all around normal person, if I told my spouse that I was going to put one of the kids to sleep while they put the other one to sleep, I would put my kid to bed. No one would have to track me down.

And I am having trouble believing that you are a parent.
1). I zoom from the desk in my room all of the time. It’s m the only room in the house besides the bathroom with a door that locks. With all of us home all of the time, that’s imperative.
2). If the kid was fine sleeping in his own bed without argument, then dad would have put him there. If you ever took care of a five year old, you would know this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the kid was playing on a screen in your bed, then why not send him to his own bedroom with the screen if that’s where you wanted to do your zoom call? Crisis averted.

I’m sure that she could have done a lot of things if her husband had told her that he couldn’t put the child to bed. But that’s not what happened.

As a veteran parent and all around normal person, if I walked into my room and was surprised to see Larlo playing on a screen in my room minutes before I planned to hop on zoom from my bed (which imho is weird), then my first reaction would not be to track down my DH and yell at him to handle it. Instead, I would have simply told the kid to take the phone to his bedroom and play quietly.

Crisis averted.

If the kid was still up after both parents were done zooming, then I would tell DH to retrieve the phone and finish putting the kid to sleep.

I’d send them to sit in dads lap.

Ha, this!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the kid was playing on a screen in your bed, then why not send him to his own bedroom with the screen if that’s where you wanted to do your zoom call? Crisis averted.

I’m sure that she could have done a lot of things if her husband had told her that he couldn’t put the child to bed. But that’s not what happened.

As a veteran parent and all around normal person, if I walked into my room and was surprised to see Larlo playing on a screen in my room minutes before I planned to hop on zoom from my bed (which imho is weird), then my first reaction would not be to track down my DH and yell at him to handle it. Instead, I would have simply told the kid to take the phone to his bedroom and play quietly.

Crisis averted.

If the kid was still up after both parents were done zooming, then I would tell DH to retrieve the phone and finish putting the kid to sleep.

I’d send them to sit in dads lap.

Ha, this!

Yes, sending kid to dad is the correct answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the kid was playing on a screen in your bed, then why not send him to his own bedroom with the screen if that’s where you wanted to do your zoom call? Crisis averted.

I’m sure that she could have done a lot of things if her husband had told her that he couldn’t put the child to bed. But that’s not what happened.

As a veteran parent and all around normal person, if I walked into my room and was surprised to see Larlo playing on a screen in my room minutes before I planned to hop on zoom from my bed (which imho is weird), then my first reaction would not be to track down my DH and yell at him to handle it. Instead, I would have simply told the kid to take the phone to his bedroom and play quietly.

Crisis averted.

If the kid was still up after both parents were done zooming, then I would tell DH to retrieve the phone and finish putting the kid to sleep.

I’d send them to sit in dads lap.

A little funny and would have ended this.

Ha, this!

Yes, sending kid to dad is the correct answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the kid was playing on a screen in your bed, then why not send him to his own bedroom with the screen if that’s where you wanted to do your zoom call? Crisis averted.

I’m sure that she could have done a lot of things if her husband had told her that he couldn’t put the child to bed. But that’s not what happened.

As a veteran parent and all around normal person, if I walked into my room and was surprised to see Larlo playing on a screen in my room minutes before I planned to hop on zoom from my bed (which imho is weird), then my first reaction would not be to track down my DH and yell at him to handle it. Instead, I would have simply told the kid to take the phone to his bedroom and play quietly.

Crisis averted.

If the kid was still up after both parents were done zooming, then I would tell DH to retrieve the phone and finish putting the kid to sleep.

As a veteran parent and all around normal person, if I told my spouse that I was going to put one of the kids to sleep while they put the other one to sleep, I would put my kid to bed. No one would have to track me down.

And I am having trouble believing that you are a parent.
1). I zoom from the desk in my room all of the time. It’s m the only room in the house besides the bathroom with a door that locks. With all of us home all of the time, that’s imperative.
2). If the kid was fine sleeping in his own bed without argument, then dad would have put him there. If you ever took care of a five year old, you would know this.

Locked doors? Weird.

It’s easy to send a 5 year old to bed with a screen.

And, as long as you didn’t make the rookie mistake of instituting a multi step bedtime routine, it’s similarly easy to send 5 year old to bed without a screen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the kid was playing on a screen in your bed, then why not send him to his own bedroom with the screen if that’s where you wanted to do your zoom call? Crisis averted.

I’m sure that she could have done a lot of things if her husband had told her that he couldn’t put the child to bed. But that’s not what happened.

As a veteran parent and all around normal person, if I walked into my room and was surprised to see Larlo playing on a screen in my room minutes before I planned to hop on zoom from my bed (which imho is weird), then my first reaction would not be to track down my DH and yell at him to handle it. Instead, I would have simply told the kid to take the phone to his bedroom and play quietly.

Crisis averted.

If the kid was still up after both parents were done zooming, then I would tell DH to retrieve the phone and finish putting the kid to sleep.

As a veteran parent and all around normal person, if I told my spouse that I was going to put one of the kids to sleep while they put the other one to sleep, I would put my kid to bed. No one would have to track me down.

And I am having trouble believing that you are a parent.
1). I zoom from the desk in my room all of the time. It’s m the only room in the house besides the bathroom with a door that locks. With all of us home all of the time, that’s imperative.
2). If the kid was fine sleeping in his own bed without argument, then dad would have put him there. If you ever took care of a five year old, you would know this.

Locked doors? Weird.

It’s easy to send a 5 year old to bed with a screen.

And, as long as you didn’t make the rookie mistake of instituting a multi step bedtime routine, it’s similarly easy to send 5 year old to bed without a screen.

Yeah. You don’t have kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When your partner asks for help, notice. If they’ve been giving you free and clear private time offer the same.

Agreed.

He did. Kid was fine. Her call was not being disrupted. Kid would have fallen asleep if she had let him be and not freaked out.

^^^ but that would have meant her accepting the fact that DH handled bedtime routine differently than she prefers, which seems to be the crux of this.

Just out of curiosity, do you all do this at work too? Like if you say that you are going to attend a meeting in someone’s place, do you actually just leave a voicemail saying your co-worker can’t make it?

Or do you just do this with your families?

I say I’ll handle it and then just dial in, mute and cut the video feed so I can talk to my frat buddies on the other line.

Check and checkmate!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the kid was playing on a screen in your bed, then why not send him to his own bedroom with the screen if that’s where you wanted to do your zoom call? Crisis averted.

I’m sure that she could have done a lot of things if her husband had told her that he couldn’t put the child to bed. But that’s not what happened.

As a veteran parent and all around normal person, if I walked into my room and was surprised to see Larlo playing on a screen in my room minutes before I planned to hop on zoom from my bed (which imho is weird), then my first reaction would not be to track down my DH and yell at him to handle it. Instead, I would have simply told the kid to take the phone to his bedroom and play quietly.

Crisis averted.

If the kid was still up after both parents were done zooming, then I would tell DH to retrieve the phone and finish putting the kid to sleep.

As a veteran parent and all around normal person, if I told my spouse that I was going to put one of the kids to sleep while they put the other one to sleep, I would put my kid to bed. No one would have to track me down.

And I am having trouble believing that you are a parent.
1). I zoom from the desk in my room all of the time. It’s m the only room in the house besides the bathroom with a door that locks. With all of us home all of the time, that’s imperative.
2). If the kid was fine sleeping in his own bed without argument, then dad would have put him there. If you ever took care of a five year old, you would know this.

Locked doors? Weird.

It’s easy to send a 5 year old to bed with a screen.

And, as long as you didn’t make the rookie mistake of instituting a multi step bedtime routine, it’s similarly easy to send 5 year old to bed without a screen.

Yeah. You don’t have kids.

I have 4.

And, we intentionally decided not to create monsters. Rigid routines aren’t good. Power struggles aren’t good. Kids who aren’t equipped to play independently underscore parenting failures.

Sorry if you’re struggling with your kids.

[Anonymous]

That has nothing to do with a 6 yo who is supposed to be sleeping at 8pm and I instead playing on an iPhone in the parents bedroom.

Fail. Husband didn’t do what he had agreed to do, which was out the child to bed.

No need to play semantics and think one is clever since there was “a bed” involved somewhere...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the kid was playing on a screen in your bed, then why not send him to his own bedroom with the screen if that’s where you wanted to do your zoom call? Crisis averted.

I’m sure that she could have done a lot of things if her husband had told her that he couldn’t put the child to bed. But that’s not what happened.

As a veteran parent and all around normal person, if I walked into my room and was surprised to see Larlo playing on a screen in my room minutes before I planned to hop on zoom from my bed (which imho is weird), then my first reaction would not be to track down my DH and yell at him to handle it. Instead, I would have simply told the kid to take the phone to his bedroom and play quietly.

Crisis averted.

If the kid was still up after both parents were done zooming, then I would tell DH to retrieve the phone and finish putting the kid to sleep.

As a veteran parent and all around normal person, if I told my spouse that I was going to put one of the kids to sleep while they put the other one to sleep, I would put my kid to bed. No one would have to track me down.

And I am having trouble believing that you are a parent.
1). I zoom from the desk in my room all of the time. It’s m the only room in the house besides the bathroom with a door that locks. With all of us home all of the time, that’s imperative.
2). If the kid was fine sleeping in his own bed without argument, then dad would have put him there. If you ever took care of a five year old, you would know this.

Locked doors? Weird.

It’s easy to send a 5 year old to bed with a screen.

And, as long as you didn’t make the rookie mistake of instituting a multi step bedtime routine, it’s similarly easy to send 5 year old to bed without a screen.

Yeah. You don’t have kids.

I have 4.

And, we intentionally decided not to create monsters. Rigid routines aren’t good. Power struggles aren’t good. Kids who aren’t equipped to play independently underscore parenting failures.

Sorry if you’re struggling with your kids.

Are you the 7 pm poster from a few pages ago? Same person?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the kid was playing on a screen in your bed, then why not send him to his own bedroom with the screen if that’s where you wanted to do your zoom call? Crisis averted.

I’m sure that she could have done a lot of things if her husband had told her that he couldn’t put the child to bed. But that’s not what happened.

As a veteran parent and all around normal person, if I walked into my room and was surprised to see Larlo playing on a screen in my room minutes before I planned to hop on zoom from my bed (which imho is weird), then my first reaction would not be to track down my DH and yell at him to handle it. Instead, I would have simply told the kid to take the phone to his bedroom and play quietly.

Crisis averted.

If the kid was still up after both parents were done zooming, then I would tell DH to retrieve the phone and finish putting the kid to sleep.

As a veteran parent and all around normal person, if I told my spouse that I was going to put one of the kids to sleep while they put the other one to sleep, I would put my kid to bed. No one would have to track me down.

And I am having trouble believing that you are a parent.
1). I zoom from the desk in my room all of the time. It’s m the only room in the house besides the bathroom with a door that locks. With all of us home all of the time, that’s imperative.
2). If the kid was fine sleeping in his own bed without argument, then dad would have put him there. If you ever took care of a five year old, you would know this.

Locked doors? Weird.

It’s easy to send a 5 year old to bed with a screen.

And, as long as you didn’t make the rookie mistake of instituting a multi step bedtime routine, it’s similarly easy to send 5 year old to bed without a screen.

Yeah. You don’t have kids.

I have 4.

And, we intentionally decided not to create monsters. Rigid routines aren’t good. Power struggles aren’t good. Kids who aren’t equipped to play independently underscore parenting failures.

Sorry if you’re struggling with your kids.

Are you the 7 pm poster from a few pages ago? Same person?

Actually, kids like routine and like structure so there you have it. Mine had quite the bedtime routine when they were little. And guess what? Now that they are teens everyone wants to know why my kids read so much. Probably because I structure it into their day. Of course they also didn't have electronics until middle school and no TV until after 5 so I'm obviously way to uptight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the kid was playing on a screen in your bed, then why not send him to his own bedroom with the screen if that’s where you wanted to do your zoom call? Crisis averted.

I’m sure that she could have done a lot of things if her husband had told her that he couldn’t put the child to bed. But that’s not what happened.

As a veteran parent and all around normal person, if I walked into my room and was surprised to see Larlo playing on a screen in my room minutes before I planned to hop on zoom from my bed (which imho is weird), then my first reaction would not be to track down my DH and yell at him to handle it. Instead, I would have simply told the kid to take the phone to his bedroom and play quietly.

Crisis averted.

If the kid was still up after both parents were done zooming, then I would tell DH to retrieve the phone and finish putting the kid to sleep.

As a veteran parent and all around normal person, if I told my spouse that I was going to put one of the kids to sleep while they put the other one to sleep, I would put my kid to bed. No one would have to track me down.

And I am having trouble believing that you are a parent.
1). I zoom from the desk in my room all of the time. It’s m the only room in the house besides the bathroom with a door that locks. With all of us home all of the time, that’s imperative.
2). If the kid was fine sleeping in his own bed without argument, then dad would have put him there. If you ever took care of a five year old, you would know this.

Locked doors? Weird.

It’s easy to send a 5 year old to bed with a screen.

And, as long as you didn’t make the rookie mistake of instituting a multi step bedtime routine, it’s similarly easy to send 5 year old to bed without a screen.

Yeah. You don’t have kids.

I have 4.

And, we intentionally decided not to create monsters. Rigid routines aren’t good. Power struggles aren’t good. Kids who aren’t equipped to play independently underscore parenting failures.

Sorry if you’re struggling with your kids.

I’m still stuck on the locked doors.
If you need to have a zoom meeting completely uninterrupted by a kindergartener who is home all of the time, what do you do? I’m a doc, so there are HIPPA violations if kids are running in and out. But I assume this comes up in other industries.
And my kids like being read to at bed time. The struggle would come only from DH breaking the routine.

[Anonymous]

this really isn't about parenting or bed times. Its about marriage. Husband has had his sacred friday night call every week since march. Wife asked him ahead of time to put older kid to bed so she could do a call for once on this friday, which is when her friends could. He agreed, but then actually didn't do it because he wanted to do his call no matter what. It was selfish of him not to make the gesture ONCE and give up his buddy time, when she has taken every friday night and put both kids to bed. I am also making the assumption that OPs husband is self centered in other ways as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When your partner asks for help, notice. If they’ve been giving you free and clear private time offer the same.

Agreed.

He did. Kid was fine. Her call was not being disrupted. Kid would have fallen asleep if she had let him be and not freaked out.

^^^ but that would have meant her accepting the fact that DH handled bedtime routine differently than she prefers, which seems to be the crux of this.

Just out of curiosity, do you all do this at work too? Like if you say that you are going to attend a meeting in someone’s place, do you actually just leave a voicemail saying your co-worker can’t make it?

Or do you just do this with your families?

I say I’ll handle it and then just dial in, mute and cut the video feed so I can talk to my frat buddies on the other line.

Check and checkmate!

Ha! You win!
Until your colleague starts “manufacturing drama” because you didn’t present when you were supposed to .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:this really isn't about parenting or bed times. Its about marriage. Husband has had his sacred friday night call every week since march. Wife asked him ahead of time to put older kid to bed so she could do a call for once on this friday, which is when her friends could. He agreed, but then actually didn't do it because he wanted to do his call no matter what. It was selfish of him not to make the gesture ONCE and give up his buddy time, when she has taken every friday night and put both kids to bed. I am also making the assumption that OPs husband is self centered in other ways as well.

Well, you are right. It’s been fun arguing though