What’s the best joke you’ve ever heard?

[Anonymous]

I went to the doctors recently

He said: “Don’t eat anything fatty”

I said: “What, like bacon and burgers?”

He said, “No. fatty don’t eat anything.”

[Anonymous]

Never tell a pun to a kleptomaniac. They're always taking things literally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why can't Stevie Wonder see his friends?








Because he's married.

LOL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Never tell a pun to a kleptomaniac. They're always taking things literally.

Love this one

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A headline:

"Jurisprudence fetishist gets off on technicality"

Lol!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A guy at been fishing with his friend at the same pond every Thursday evening for 15 years. He told his friend, “It’s my birthday next week and my wife wants to do something with me, so I won’t be here.”
The next Thursday, he showed up as usual.
His friend said, “Why are you here?”
The guy said, “When I got home, my wife was wearing lingerie, and holding some rope. She said, ‘You can tie me up and do whatever you want.’
So here I am.”

Best one

[Anonymous]

Guy 1: “I’ve been seeing spots before my eyes lately”

Guy 2: “Have you seen a doctor??”

Guy 1: “No...just spots”

[Anonymous]

I searched a list of ten puns to find one that made me laugh....

No pun in ten did.

[Anonymous]

An old man is having his annual physical. The doctor tells him, “I’m going to need a urine sample, a fecal sample, and a semen sample.”
The old man tells him, “Here, just take my underwear.”

[Anonymous]

First joke I remember: how do you get rid of ten pounds of ugly fat? Cut off your head!

[Anonymous]

Why do female skydivers wear tampons?

So they dont whistle on the way down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you make a dead baby float?

Two scoops of ice cream two scoops of dead baby.

I can’t imagine anyone finding this the least bit funny.

It’s literally the only joke I’ve laughed out loud reading. And I work with babies (and love them!)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do female skydivers wear tampons?

So they dont whistle on the way down.

You're going to get into trouble for this one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A guy at been fishing with his friend at the same pond every Thursday evening for 15 years. He told his friend, “It’s my birthday next week and my wife wants to do something with me, so I won’t be here.”
The next Thursday, he showed up as usual.
His friend said, “Why are you here?”
The guy said, “When I got home, my wife was wearing lingerie, and holding some rope. She said, ‘You can tie me up and do whatever you want.’
So here I am.”

Best one

Reminds me of this one:

A guy meets a hooker in a bar.
She says, "This is your lucky night. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for $100, as long as you can say it in three words."
" Anything?"
" Anything."
The guy gets excited, pulls a hundred out of his wallet, and says "Paint…my…house."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do female skydivers wear tampons?

So they dont whistle on the way down.

You're going to get into trouble for this one.

Of all the jokes on this thread, this is the dumbest. Like, not funny dumb, but just... what's the joke?