DD 16 is involved in a sexual relationship

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you presumably know your daughter's physician, correct? I am trying hard to picture how a 16 year-old girl who is in ballet class 3 hours a day, plus school, has time to take her boyfriend with her to her gynecologist to not only get birth control pills, but to have STD testing. That story doesn't hang together for me.

Don't forget the girl is a top scholar and a ballerina who is very popular at school and very savvy beyond her years. The boyfriend is being uplifted to a 4.0 and more maturity because of the daughter. They planned a joint trip to the gynecologist, discussed birth control, were joint tested for STDs and then split the bills 50-50.

The story doesn't hang together for me either.

You honestly don't think that's possible? I know couples who definitely could've handled that at 16. There's no reason a 16 year old is necessarily incapable of handling things in an adult manner. Not every 16 year old will, of course, but then I know people who are adults based on their legal age but act less mature than many teenagers. At this point, age is just a number.

I graduated valedictorian of my class, practiced the violin three hours a day and was having sex with my boyfriend (after we made a trip to Planned Parenthood together). But he paid for all of it (wasn't much). I was mature and responsible at 16. I look back on my first sexual experience as being very sweet and loving. I still see him at reunions and we are still friends.

Planned Parenthood I would believe. Not the OP's version, which has the DD and her boyfriend seeing the DD's OB/GYN for STD testing. Did the girl use insurance? The parent is the policyholder, right? And did the boy pay out of pocket? Why go there instead of to Planned Parenthood?

But then I even wonder about the OP's use of the word "Christ" in the context she used it; it sounds more like a man writing than a woman. Then there's the part about the dead father and the adoring stepfather, and the trusting mother who allows her daughter to have a separate entrance to the house and allows her to have her boyfriend in her study and room, then is surprised she's having sex with him.

I'm sorry, it all just sounds a bit trollish to me, or at least like the OP isn't getting the full story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I haven't read all the way through the thread, but you might want to double check dd's story. Did she cover the co pay at the doc? Who covered boyfriend's testing costs? (And I'm pretty sure OBs don't do STD testing on males)

I agree, OP either lying or really gullible.

Something is off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids are 16 and 18 and aren't allowed to have friends upstairs in the bedrooms. Friends stay downstairs in the living room, family room, or basement rec room. If they're going to have sex, let them work for it.

+1

Pretty much everyone I knew in high school had sex in someone's basement rec room.

So ridiculous that "geography" matters.

+ 1,000,000.

[Anonymous]

You going to let them split a bottle of Merlot too, OP? Also- not legal.

Wtf has happened to parents these days?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You going to let them split a bottle of Merlot too, OP? Also- not legal.

Wtf has happened to parents these days?

What's not legal about two 16-year-olds having consensual sex?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You going to let them split a bottle of Merlot too, OP? Also- not legal.

Wtf has happened to parents these days?

Not OP.

First, I'm fairly sure the age of consent is 16 so the argument about legality falls a bit flat unless I'm wrong and the age of consent is 18 now.

In addition, it is legal under MD law (not sure about DC or VA) for a parent to provide alcohol to their own child in a private residence, so while I would not allow anyone else to partake unless their parents are present, I do allow my teens to have a glass of whatever I am drinking or serving with dinner. How does alcohol equate to sex again?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You going to let them split a bottle of Merlot too, OP? Also- not legal.

Wtf has happened to parents these days?

What's not legal about two 16-year-olds having consensual sex?

Nothing. Some posters here are truly insane.

[Anonymous]

Oh, no! A responsible, 16 yr old, straight A student is having safe sex with her boyfriend in her bedroom!!! That kind of behavior should only be for church choir rooms and backseats of cars!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh, no! A responsible, 16 yr old, straight A student is having safe sex with her boyfriend in her bedroom!!! That kind of behavior should only be for church choir rooms and backseats of cars!

They aren't using condoms and someone lied about them going to the obgyn together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You going to let them split a bottle of Merlot too, OP? Also- not legal.

Wtf has happened to parents these days?

Blech. Merlot? Teach your children to enjoy better wine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP again. DD and her boyfriend split the cost of the doctor's visit and prescription - DD told me that she insisted on this. So I never saw an insurance statement/doctor's bill.

Now that this is the situation, telling me what I should or shouldn't have done is not helpful - it is what is is and I have been successful in "parenting" a successful student and disciplined dancer who never had a curfew because she voluntarily comes home early! She is also a very kind, generous and popular girl.

But even for the more puritanical parents - what if anything should I do now?

I just asked a gyno if she will see a 16 year old without parental consent. She said she would not, and most gyno's will not.
OP, your daughter lied to you or she lied about her real age to the doctor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh, no! A responsible, 16 yr old, straight A student is having safe sex with her boyfriend in her bedroom!!! That kind of behavior should only be for church choir rooms and backseats of cars!

They aren't using condoms and someone lied about them going to the obgyn together.

Yes, Dear, I'm sure only you know the truth of every situation!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP again. DD and her boyfriend split the cost of the doctor's visit and prescription - DD told me that she insisted on this. So I never saw an insurance statement/doctor's bill.

Now that this is the situation, telling me what I should or shouldn't have done is not helpful - it is what is is and I have been successful in "parenting" a successful student and disciplined dancer who never had a curfew because she voluntarily comes home early! She is also a very kind, generous and popular girl.

But even for the more puritanical parents - what if anything should I do now?

I just asked a gyno if she will see a 16 year old without parental consent. She said she would not, and most gyno's will not.
OP, your daughter lied to you or she lied about her real age to the doctor.

Not OP but my gyno would and has. She encourages teenage girls to visit her with or without their mothers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh, no! A responsible, 16 yr old, straight A student is having safe sex with her boyfriend in her bedroom!!! That kind of behavior should only be for church choir rooms and backseats of cars!

I don't know what is wrong with some parents. They want their kids to sneak around and lie to them. This cannot be for the child's sake - just for the parent's comfort.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh, no! A responsible, 16 yr old, straight A student is having safe sex with her boyfriend in her bedroom!!! That kind of behavior should only be for church choir rooms and backseats of cars!

I don't know what is wrong with some parents. They want their kids to sneak around and lie to them. This cannot be for the child's sake - just for the parent's comfort.

Well put.