DD 16 is involved in a sexual relationship

[Anonymous]

To those of you suggest that they not have sex in her room, where do you suggest they go? All things aside, at least they're in a safe environment in her room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think if you allow them to "hang out" in her room this is going to be happening. This is why a lot (if not most) parents don't allow significant others to hangout in bedrooms. If I found out my teen was having sex in his girlfriend's bedroom while her parents were watching TV I would be livid.

+1 What was he doing in her bedroom., especially when you are home and aware of it? Obviously if kids are going to have sex, they will find a place but you have been sending the wrong message.

OP wrote that DD had a "study" attached to her bedroom and a door to the outside. It is different than just letting a boy in her bedroom.

Yes, it is worse. The configuration of one's house has no bearing on the expectations and rules set for minor children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think if you allow them to "hang out" in her room this is going to be happening. This is why a lot (if not most) parents don't allow significant others to hangout in bedrooms. If I found out my teen was having sex in his girlfriend's bedroom while her parents were watching TV I would be livid.

+1 What was he doing in her bedroom., especially when you are home and aware of it? Obviously if kids are going to have sex, they will find a place but you have been sending the wrong message.

OP wrote that DD had a "study" attached to her bedroom and a door to the outside. It is different than just letting a boy in her bedroom.

Yes, it is worse. The configuration of one's house has no bearing on the expectations and rules set for minor children.

Do you have an actual rule about no sex in your house?

[Anonymous]

Your DD has shown enormous responsibility in her school work, self-regulation and now in her relationship with her boyfriend.

Our children grow up. Our children become sexual beings. These are the true "facts of life".

I would be proud to have raised such a responsible and accomplished daughter. Say nothing and try not to act any differently toward her or her boyfriend.

[Anonymous]

Op, you have given your dtr way too much freedom. She shouldn't be allowed to come and go and have people come and go from her room without you knowing. With the door shut, this is crazy.

I can't believe you would keep something like this from your spouse. I wouldn't never.

Step up and parent this kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think if you allow them to "hang out" in her room this is going to be happening. This is why a lot (if not most) parents don't allow significant others to hangout in bedrooms. If I found out my teen was having sex in his girlfriend's bedroom while her parents were watching TV I would be livid.

+1 What was he doing in her bedroom., especially when you are home and aware of it? Obviously if kids are going to have sex, they will find a place but you have been sending the wrong message.

OP wrote that DD had a "study" attached to her bedroom and a door to the outside. It is different than just letting a boy in her bedroom.

Yes, it is worse. The configuration of one's house has no bearing on the expectations and rules set for minor children.

So having sex in the car would be better?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The majority of adolescents in the US have sex by their 17th birthday. She is normal.

This study looked at ages of sexual debut:
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19631791

Read the study. The way the numbers break out by gender and ethnic group is significant and interesting. Your blanket statement is misleading.

[Anonymous]

I honestly cannot believe that people of our generation are so rigid and puritanical!!! Holy cow, if I had a daughter who was a #1 or #2 in her class rank and an accomplished dancer, I wouldn't care if she was having protected sex with her boyfriend!! This DD sounds like she is very mature for her age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your DD has shown enormous responsibility in her school work, self-regulation and now in her relationship with her boyfriend.

Our children grow up. Our children become sexual beings. These are the true "facts of life".

I would be proud to have raised such a responsible and accomplished daughter. Say nothing and try not to act any differently toward her or her boyfriend.

+1

[Anonymous]

OP, I was your daughter. My mother found out and was livid. Did not tell stepfather. Told us we had to break up. I continued to see him through freshman year of college behind her back. No STDs no pregnancy.

I would want proof of this very responsible- sounding dr. Appt., just to be sure.

[Anonymous]

As a PP pointed out, nothing is different from last week to this week except that you know. You should not have asked if you couldn't "handle the truth". I am assuming that her grades and dedication to ballet have not suffered so let it go, OP.

[Anonymous]

My only comment here is that 16 is too young to have such a serious relationship. Too much drama.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To those of you suggest that they not have sex in her room, where do you suggest they go? All things aside, at least they're in a safe environment in her room.

I suggest they wait until the parents are out to dinner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My only comment here is that 16 is too young to have such a serious relationship. Too much drama.

What should OP do about it? Forbid her daughter from having a boyfriend?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let them use the basement a lot. Break the toilet so it doesn't flush and pump in fart smells. Nothin better for speeding up a break up. Force them together all the time.. Dinner, school, every nite... Fights will start and quicker break up.

Not a thing if they already do anal