DD 16 is involved in a sexual relationship

[Anonymous]

My 16 year old DD has a had a boyfriend (that we like very much) since September. I finally asked and she told me that they were in a sexual relationship but not to worry because they went to her doctor (gyno) together and she is on the pill. They have sex in her room.

Okay - yikes! I'm very glad she is responsible and went to the doctor with her boyfriend to get on birth control but... my daughter is having sex while DH and I are downstairs watching TV!!!

DD is a top student, always ranked first or second in her class, and an accomplished ballet dancer. I have always been very lax with curfews/rules because she has always been so responsible.

This sex thing just threw me for a loop.

[Anonymous]

Your little girl is grown up. People used to be married at 16.

[Anonymous]

If I were you, I would tell her not to have sex when you guys are at home...it's disrespectful, IMO. And imagine how terrible it would be if one of you walked in. They'll find plenty of other ways/times to have sex. Also, was her boyfriend tested for STDs? I would make sure they both had a full battery of tests, and would still tell my DD to use a condom (even though she's on the pill) because he could be cheating, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your little girl is grown up. People used to be married at 16.

More than 120 years ago. Wake up. She is still a little girl

[Anonymous]

My first thought is oh hell no, but, the likelihood of them stopping having sex is remote. I'm sure my husband would not be on board with the don't ask, don't tell policy, and might even insist they quit dating. It would be a lot of drama in my house! I'll be interested in what BTDT parents have to say.

Are they using condoms too? I would make sure she understands the need to protect herself against STDs.

[Anonymous]

Do you know the boys parents? They may not be on board with the boy having sex in your house either. The reality is they are not adults and can't have an expectation of privacy

[Anonymous]

If this was my daughter, I would be happy that she confided in me, but I would not want her having sex in our house after confiding in me. I would be concerned that the boyfriend's parents would discover and be upset with DH and me for allowing this to happen, which is exactly what would be happening.

[Anonymous]

How did you not know what was going on?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I were you, I would tell her not to have sex when you guys are at home...it's disrespectful, IMO. And imagine how terrible it would be if one of you walked in. They'll find plenty of other ways/times to have sex. Also, was her boyfriend tested for STDs? I would make sure they both had a full battery of tests, and would still tell my DD to use a condom (even though she's on the pill) because he could be cheating, etc.

OP can solve this problem by knocking.

And I honestly don't understand why it's "disrespectful" to have sex when your parents are home -- unless your parents told you not to, which OP doesn't seem to have, plus then "disobedient" would be more accurate.

[Anonymous]

Let them use the basement a lot. Break the toilet so it doesn't flush and pump in fart smells. Nothin better for speeding up a break up. Force them together all the time.. Dinner, school, every nite... Fights will start and quicker break up.

[Anonymous]

I think if you allow them to "hang out" in her room this is going to be happening. This is why a lot (if not most) parents don't allow significant others to hangout in bedrooms. If I found out my teen was having sex in his girlfriend's bedroom while her parents were watching TV I would be livid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I were you, I would tell her not to have sex when you guys are at home...it's disrespectful, IMO. And imagine how terrible it would be if one of you walked in. They'll find plenty of other ways/times to have sex. Also, was her boyfriend tested for STDs? I would make sure they both had a full battery of tests, and would still tell my DD to use a condom (even though she's on the pill) because he could be cheating, etc.

OP can solve this problem by knocking.

And I honestly don't understand why it's "disrespectful" to have sex when your parents are home -- unless your parents told you not to, which OP doesn't seem to have, plus then "disobedient" would be more accurate.

Plus if you act like it's ok to have sex before marriage in your house, it takes the excitement out if it and ruins the young romance! Better to jade them quicker and break it up!! Don't forget to pump fart smell into her bedroom!

[Anonymous]

Call his parents tell them to knock some sense into him

[Anonymous]

Maybe in a prude, but id never allow my 16yo daughter and her boyfriend in her bedroom with the door closed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think if you allow them to "hang out" in her room this is going to be happening. This is why a lot (if not most) parents don't allow significant others to hangout in bedrooms. If I found out my teen was having sex in his girlfriend's bedroom while her parents were watching TV I would be livid.

+1