I was seen multi dating by the guy I like more

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP,

He thought it was serious after two months without sex? You've been seeing this other guy all along, and sleeping with him? I would NEVER trust a guy who did that to me. Never, ever. I would feel duped and rejected, and really on the spot as far as making love for the first time after hearing that. Also, how can you be sure he's the one before having slept together?

Interesting, so many responses!

Here is a woman who AGREES with the many male responses and it's refreshing. Every male here told you how it would feel and be interpreted, and every angry woman called those guys "losers" and "contr freaks," as well as other terms we've come to know and love.

Once again: Telling a guy you're not sleeping with how special he is while, all along you've been sleeping with another guy will only be accepted by guys with no self-respect or self-esteem.

Despite how many more women make fun of my post and call guys losers, euphemisms and fairytale don't change facts.

You're confusing the responses to the sexists posts with the actual responses to posts like yours. Have you even read the thread all the way through? You're not illustrating a point. You're repeating yourself in the hopes it will be believed.

No one said that a guy needs to stick around if a woman isn't what he wants in a LTR.

If you read the other thread about open marriages, you would find that the writing style and even timing of the OP's posts are nearly identical to this one. It's the same lack of any emotion other than "woe is me." Any normal person would get pissed if they were called the names used in both threads.

It is a fairytale. That's why people are calling it one. No point has been made. No lesson has been learned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP,

He thought it was serious after two months without sex? You've been seeing this other guy all along, and sleeping with him? I would NEVER trust a guy who did that to me. Never, ever. I would feel duped and rejected, and really on the spot as far as making love for the first time after hearing that. Also, how can you be sure he's the one before having slept together?

Interesting, so many responses!

Here is a woman who AGREES with the many male responses and it's refreshing. Every male here told you how it would feel and be interpreted, and every angry woman called those guys "losers" and "contr freaks," as well as other terms we've come to know and love.

Once again: Telling a guy you're not sleeping with how special he is while, all along you've been sleeping with another guy will only be accepted by guys with no self-respect or self-esteem.

Despite how many more women make fun of my post and call guys losers, euphemisms and fairytale don't change facts.

You're confusing the responses to the sexists posts with the actual responses to posts like yours. Have you even read the thread all the way through? You're not illustrating a point. You're repeating yourself in the hopes it will be believed.

No one said that a guy needs to stick around if a woman isn't what he wants in a LTR.

If you read the other thread about open marriages, you would find that the writing style and even timing of the OP's posts are nearly identical to this one. It's the same lack of any emotion other than "woe is me." Any normal person would get pissed if they were called the names used in both threads.

It is a fairytale. That's why people are calling it one. No point has been made. No lesson has been learned.

Spoken by a woman who just likes to bash men. You're just calling this a fairytale because you don't want to admit that maybe, just maybe, this kind of stuff happens all the time. Men do it. Women do it. And just because men seemingly do it more (and I'd argue that) does not make it right for women to do it in attempts to "catch up to the men."

I'm not being sexist and I have read this thread from page 1 through my post right here. Every male has said the same thing. Some have been assholes about it, but they've all said the same thing. Most of the women have also been assholes about it, simply by calling men losers and sexist and whatever.

Enough is enough.

OP, if you're real, learn from this. No man will ever feel "special" or feel like they're the one who you really want if you want things slow and make them wait all while banging other guys. No man.

I know enough guys have learned throughout the years that actions speak louder than words for women. Use that same mentality back.

[Anonymous]

OP, be more discreet next time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

This is Exhibit #1 on why we need to teach our sons how to communicate, date, and be in a relationship.

Because she was real open about it?

They both should have communicated better and not just assumed.

I didn't see OP making any assumptions. For better or worse, in early dating the default is everyone is dating multiple people. If you want more than that, it's up to you to start that conversation.

[Anonymous]

She didn't do anything wrong. People date multiple people, especially at the beginning. The only "wrong" thing was to try and get out of her awkwardness by using the cliche "I want something more with you and that's why I'm sleeping with him right away, but not you."

Dude isn't "entitled" to sex, but let's not pretend that he should feel the honor of lack of sex either, especially while knowing another guy is getting it from her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP,

He thought it was serious after two months without sex? You've been seeing this other guy all along, and sleeping with him? I would NEVER trust a guy who did that to me. Never, ever. I would feel duped and rejected, and really on the spot as far as making love for the first time after hearing that. Also, how can you be sure he's the one before having slept together?

Interesting, so many responses!

Here is a woman who AGREES with the many male responses and it's refreshing. Every male here told you how it would feel and be interpreted, and every angry woman called those guys "losers" and "contr freaks," as well as other terms we've come to know and love.

Once again: Telling a guy you're not sleeping with how special he is while, all along you've been sleeping with another guy will only be accepted by guys with no self-respect or self-esteem.

Despite how many more women make fun of my post and call guys losers, euphemisms and fairytale don't change facts.

You're confusing the responses to the sexists posts with the actual responses to posts like yours. Have you even read the thread all the way through? You're not illustrating a point. You're repeating yourself in the hopes it will be believed.

No one said that a guy needs to stick around if a woman isn't what he wants in a LTR.

If you read the other thread about open marriages, you would find that the writing style and even timing of the OP's posts are nearly identical to this one. It's the same lack of any emotion other than "woe is me." Any normal person would get pissed if they were called the names used in both threads.

It is a fairytale. That's why people are calling it one. No point has been made. No lesson has been learned.

Spoken by a woman who just likes to bash men. You're just calling this a fairytale because you don't want to admit that maybe, just maybe, this kind of stuff happens all the time. Men do it. Women do it. And just because men seemingly do it more (and I'd argue that) does not make it right for women to do it in attempts to "catch up to the men."

I'm not being sexist and I have read this thread from page 1 through my post right here. Every male has said the same thing. Some have been assholes about it, but they've all said the same thing. Most of the women have also been assholes about it, simply by calling men losers and sexist and whatever.

Enough is enough.

OP, if you're real, learn from this. No man will ever feel "special" or feel like they're the one who you really want if you want things slow and make them wait all while banging other guys. No man.

I know enough guys have learned throughout the years that actions speak louder than words for women. Use that same mentality back.

You're believing it because it reinforces your beliefs. I don't believe it for several reasons, the first one being the fact that this general theme and identical writing style has been used with only minor changes to the story line. It's been written by the male and female perspective. Someone wants to invent stories to make a point. You're certainly welcome to believe it, but there are quite a few of us who call it bullshit.

Disagreeing with you is not abuse. It is not bashing. It is simply a disagreement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She didn't do anything wrong. People date multiple people, especially at the beginning. The only "wrong" thing was to try and get out of her awkwardness by using the cliche "I want something more with you and that's why I'm sleeping with him right away, but not you."

Dude isn't "entitled" to sex, but let's not pretend that he should feel the honor of lack of sex either, especially while knowing another guy is getting it from her.

^ exactly this. and if ladies (in general) don't wish to acknowledge that fact, then this is the type of situation you will more often than not create for yourselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She didn't do anything wrong. People date multiple people, especially at the beginning. The only "wrong" thing was to try and get out of her awkwardness by using the cliche "I want something more with you and that's why I'm sleeping with him right away, but not you."

Dude isn't "entitled" to sex, but let's not pretend that he should feel the honor of lack of sex either, especially while knowing another guy is getting it from her.

^ exactly this. and if ladies (in general) don't wish to acknowledge that fact, then this is the type of situation you will more often than not create for yourselves.

LOL I don't think the OP or any of the women posting here ever suggested that a guy should feel "honored" to not be having sex.

[Anonymous]

I don't think the OP did anything *morally* wrong, but it does seem like she made a strategic error by overplaying her hand.

Also 6-8 weeks of regular dating... I completely understand why he was surprised to see her with another man and why he has trouble trusting her claimed intentions.

[Anonymous]

BTW, there are many people posting in this thread. I think some of you are conflating multiple posts into one mythical person (the male loser).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:BTW, there are many people posting in this thread. I think some of you are conflating multiple posts into one mythical person (the male loser).

Who is the loser?

The blatantly sexist and rude posters got appropriately named as such. I don't understand why some (1?) of the male posters that are left assume it's bashing or referring to all men when it clearly is not. Perhaps, that person just likes to argue about things that aren't being argued?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think the OP did anything *morally* wrong, but it does seem like she made a strategic error by overplaying her hand.

Also 6-8 weeks of regular dating... I completely understand why he was surprised to see her with another man and why he has trouble trusting her claimed intentions.

OP, if you are real and not yanking people's chains, #1 is going through a total ego collapse because he probably figured you were getting along well, he was doing the "right things", and could see a relationship developing. If you really think he could be special, not just one guy along the way, DON'T CONTACT HIM NOW. Wait a few months and then reach out. His wound won't be as new and perhaps there can be a restart. BUT HAVE SEX QUICKLY WITH HIM!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think the OP did anything *morally* wrong, but it does seem like she made a strategic error by overplaying her hand.

Also 6-8 weeks of regular dating... I completely understand why he was surprised to see her with another man and why he has trouble trusting her claimed intentions.

OP, if you are real and not yanking people's chains, #1 is going through a total ego collapse because he probably figured you were getting along well, he was doing the "right things", and could see a relationship developing. If you really think he could be special, not just one guy along the way, DON'T CONTACT HIM NOW. Wait a few months and then reach out. His wound won't be as new and perhaps there can be a restart. BUT HAVE SEX QUICKLY WITH HIM!

I don't think it's really about sex. Based on the OPs description, I think he wanted an LTR. It's not as simple as Man Angry Cuz Other Man Get Sex First Grrr.

OP, I would probably try one more time, maybe write your thoughts down and let him know that you understand his reaction and that you really do want to be with him (only) and just give him some space to mull things over.

Personally, if I liked you, and I felt you were being sincere, I'd probably be won over. But I really can't predict what he'll do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She didn't do anything wrong. People date multiple people, especially at the beginning. The only "wrong" thing was to try and get out of her awkwardness by using the cliche "I want something more with you and that's why I'm sleeping with him right away, but not you."

Dude isn't "entitled" to sex, but let's not pretend that he should feel the honor of lack of sex either, especially while knowing another guy is getting it from her.

THIS - and it is actually quite simple to see if you don't mix the issues!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: Once again: Telling a guy you're not sleeping with how special he is while, all along you've been sleeping with another guy will only be accepted by guys with no self-respect or self-esteem.

Bingo, OP is just trying to convince herself to the contrary.

Ladies: If you really like him, you'll fuck him and the quicker to it, the better.