Son only cousin excluded from nephew's wedding

[Anonymous]

It's not personal...it's an age cutoff. Go or don't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here one last time, then signing off - we have decided we are not going. We will send something around $200 from the registry. If our son had been included, we would have given a check for several thousand. I don't plan on going no contact, but I am wondering if giving a gift significantly less generous than what is probably expected of me will create problems, anyhow.

Also, for all those talking about how I wasn't that generous - it was 15k over about10 years, not 15 years, and 12k of it was over a two-year period for college.

They deserve to be no contact. At least for a while.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here one last time, then signing off - we have decided we are not going. We will send something around $200 from the registry. If our son had been included, we would have given a check for several thousand. I don't plan on going no contact, but I am wondering if giving a gift significantly less generous than what is probably expected of me will create problems, anyhow.

Also, for all those talking about how I wasn't that generous - it was 15k over about10 years, not 15 years, and 12k of it was over a two-year period for college.

Let it go. You're borrowing trouble. Frankly, I think you're itching for it. They probably won't notice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People, it's 2026. No kids weddings are a thing. You can choose not to attend, but it's just inviting trouble to take things personally.

If I were OP, I would just ask the groom about logistics around childcare during the reception. Or not attend, but it seems silly to do that for a 9 y.o.

I got married in 1996 with a no kids wedding. This is not a new thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here one last time, then signing off - we have decided we are not going. We will send something around $200 from the registry. If our son had been included, we would have given a check for several thousand. I don't plan on going no contact, but I am wondering if giving a gift significantly less generous than what is probably expected of me will create problems, anyhow.

Also, for all those talking about how I wasn't that generous - it was 15k over about10 years, not 15 years, and 12k of it was over a two-year period for college.

You're petty, spiteful, and nasty. They should be glad to be rid of you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here one last time, then signing off - we have decided we are not going. We will send something around $200 from the registry. If our son had been included, we would have given a check for several thousand. I don't plan on going no contact, but I am wondering if giving a gift significantly less generous than what is probably expected of me will create problems, anyhow.

Also, for all those talking about how I wasn't that generous - it was 15k over about10 years, not 15 years, and 12k of it was over a two-year period for college.

You're petty, spiteful, and nasty. They should be glad to be rid of you.

And I bet your son grows up to think he's the main character everywhere and that the world revolves around him. Good job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here one last time, then signing off - we have decided we are not going. We will send something around $200 from the registry. If our son had been included, we would have given a check for several thousand. I don't plan on going no contact, but I am wondering if giving a gift significantly less generous than what is probably expected of me will create problems, anyhow.

Also, for all those talking about how I wasn't that generous - it was 15k over about10 years, not 15 years, and 12k of it was over a two-year period for college.

Ick. Take your money and get some therapy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here one last time, then signing off - we have decided we are not going. We will send something around $200 from the registry. If our son had been included, we would have given a check for several thousand. I don't plan on going no contact, but I am wondering if giving a gift significantly less generous than what is probably expected of me will create problems, anyhow.

Also, for all those talking about how I wasn't that generous - it was 15k over about10 years, not 15 years, and 12k of it was over a two-year period for college.

You're petty, spiteful, and nasty. They should be glad to be rid of you.

And I bet your son grows up to think he's the main character everywhere and that the world revolves around him. Good job.

I'm getting the sense that the son is OP's +1 and that's the problem. No significant other because her son fills that role so she's extra mad she can't bring him along.

[Anonymous]

Skip it and be glad you don't have to buy a gift for these crappy people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here one last time, then signing off - we have decided we are not going. We will send something around $200 from the registry. If our son had been included, we would have given a check for several thousand. I don't plan on going no contact, but I am wondering if giving a gift significantly less generous than what is probably expected of me will create problems, anyhow.

Also, for all those talking about how I wasn't that generous - it was 15k over about10 years, not 15 years, and 12k of it was over a two-year period for college.

At least one of us is talking about generosity of spirit. Instead of sending a $200 gift with genuine joy and best wishes, you’re planning to send it with spite. I hope your son isn’t aware of all of these machinations in the background— purportedly on his behalf.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here one last time, then signing off - we have decided we are not going. We will send something around $200 from the registry. If our son had been included, we would have given a check for several thousand. I don't plan on going no contact, but I am wondering if giving a gift significantly less generous than what is probably expected of me will create problems, anyhow.

Also, for all those talking about how I wasn't that generous - it was 15k over about10 years, not 15 years, and 12k of it was over a two-year period for college.

At least one of us is talking about generosity of spirit. Instead of sending a $200 gift with genuine joy and best wishes, you’re planning to send it with spite. I hope your son isn’t aware of all of these machinations in the background— purportedly on his behalf.

What comes around goes around. https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1317050.page

^ That will be her son in a decade or so wondering why his mom is so difficult and can't get along with her family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here one last time, then signing off - we have decided we are not going. We will send something around $200 from the registry. If our son had been included, we would have given a check for several thousand. I don't plan on going no contact, but I am wondering if giving a gift significantly less generous than what is probably expected of me will create problems, anyhow.

Also, for all those talking about how I wasn't that generous - it was 15k over about10 years, not 15 years, and 12k of it was over a two-year period for college.

Let it go. You're borrowing trouble. Frankly, I think you're itching for it. They probably won't notice.

Don't even send the gift. Send a card. That's it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here one last time, then signing off - we have decided we are not going. We will send something around $200 from the registry. If our son had been included, we would have given a check for several thousand. I don't plan on going no contact, but I am wondering if giving a gift significantly less generous than what is probably expected of me will create problems, anyhow.

Also, for all those talking about how I wasn't that generous - it was 15k over about10 years, not 15 years, and 12k of it was over a two-year period for college.

You're petty, spiteful, and nasty. They should be glad to be rid of you.

Oh look, the money grubbing relatives are posting here.

OP, don't worry. Cut off the nastiness from your life. Grayrock them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here one last time, then signing off - we have decided we are not going. We will send something around $200 from the registry. If our son had been included, we would have given a check for several thousand. I don't plan on going no contact, but I am wondering if giving a gift significantly less generous than what is probably expected of me will create problems, anyhow.

Also, for all those talking about how I wasn't that generous - it was 15k over about10 years, not 15 years, and 12k of it was over a two-year period for college.

This is why I never take money from family/anyone. Did they ask for it or did you just say, let me help you out? You choose to give it, you don't need to throw it up to them years later.

Just don't go. Simple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here one last time, then signing off - we have decided we are not going. We will send something around $200 from the registry. If our son had been included, we would have given a check for several thousand. I don't plan on going no contact, but I am wondering if giving a gift significantly less generous than what is probably expected of me will create problems, anyhow.

Also, for all those talking about how I wasn't that generous - it was 15k over about10 years, not 15 years, and 12k of it was over a two-year period for college.

They deserve to be no contact. At least for a while.

I'm guessing they won't notice since the OP didn't expect to see this nephew for another decade.