Son only cousin excluded from nephew's wedding

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If there is a no kids wedding, adding one 9 year old that people wonder about causes more hassle than never seeing OP and their $$$ again.

How do they know she's going to be so vindictive? It wasn't a decision that was personal to her. They invited her to come and would probably be happy to see her believing they have a close relationship. It doesn't mean they don't like her son. His not going doesn't mean he won't be close with cousins. All of this is just made up narrative to fuel anger.

Yeah, no.

It’s perfectly fine for the couple to have a no kids wedding. However, they can’t expect attendance or huge cash gifts from relatives with kids.

The aunt isn’t vindictive because she won’t attend or send a bucket of cash. A nice $200 gift is all that good manners requires.

Nobody said it wasn't fine, OP came up with the punishment all on her own. She wants to send a message with her gift but nobody knows if the message will even be received. In OPs mind she is the VIP of this wedding.

Are you a bridezilla drooling to get other people’s money? Why would she give this pair thousands if they didn’t invite her kid?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If there is a no kids wedding, adding one 9 year old that people wonder about causes more hassle than never seeing OP and their $$$ again.

How do they know she's going to be so vindictive? It wasn't a decision that was personal to her. They invited her to come and would probably be happy to see her believing they have a close relationship. It doesn't mean they don't like her son. His not going doesn't mean he won't be close with cousins. All of this is just made up narrative to fuel anger.

Yeah, no.

It’s perfectly fine for the couple to have a no kids wedding. However, they can’t expect attendance or huge cash gifts from relatives with kids.

The aunt isn’t vindictive because she won’t attend or send a bucket of cash. A nice $200 gift is all that good manners requires.

Nobody said it wasn't fine, OP came up with the punishment all on her own. She wants to send a message with her gift but nobody knows if the message will even be received. In OPs mind she is the VIP of this wedding.

Are you a bridezilla drooling to get other people’s money? Why would she give this pair thousands if they didn’t invite her kid?

Are you some kind of psycho? OP rolled in here and told us all about her spite gift. It's not like she said she was going to give her usual $200 gift she was hoping they would expect they would be miffed by a smaller gift because in her mind they should be expecting something more. We have no idea what their expectations are whatsoever. OP has zero relationship with the bride.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is a child free wedding. You have a child. Either go without the child or don't go at all. You are incredibly selfish.

np Usually people don't want babies because they cry. 9 year olds are usually very well behaved!

But then all the other attendees who left kids with sitters will write butthurt posts on DCUM.
Have you millennial and postmillenial people ever been to an adults only resort or event? You don't know what the ambiance is. Kids aren't remoras.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is a child free wedding. You have a child. Either go without the child or don't go at all. You are incredibly selfish.

np Usually people don't want babies because they cry. 9 year olds are usually very well behaved!

But then all the other attendees who left kids with sitters will write butthurt posts on DCUM.
Have you millennial and postmillenial people ever been to an adults only resort or event? You don't know what the ambiance is. Kids aren't remoras.

It would be all "I guess they don't like MY kids and just like THOSE kids!" And then they will vow to never speak to them again. I guess I'd rather piss off 1 person than 25 in that case.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If there is a no kids wedding, adding one 9 year old that people wonder about causes more hassle than never seeing OP and their $$$ again.

How do they know she's going to be so vindictive? It wasn't a decision that was personal to her. They invited her to come and would probably be happy to see her believing they have a close relationship. It doesn't mean they don't like her son. His not going doesn't mean he won't be close with cousins. All of this is just made up narrative to fuel anger.

Yeah, no.

It’s perfectly fine for the couple to have a no kids wedding. However, they can’t expect attendance or huge cash gifts from relatives with kids.

The aunt isn’t vindictive because she won’t attend or send a bucket of cash. A nice $200 gift is all that good manners requires.

Nobody said it wasn't fine, OP came up with the punishment all on her own. She wants to send a message with her gift but nobody knows if the message will even be received. In OPs mind she is the VIP of this wedding.

Are you a bridezilla drooling to get other people’s money? Why would she give this pair thousands if they didn’t invite her kid?

Are you some kind of psycho? OP rolled in here and told us all about her spite gift. It's not like she said she was going to give her usual $200 gift she was hoping they would expect they would be miffed by a smaller gift because in her mind they should be expecting something more. We have no idea what their expectations are whatsoever. OP has zero relationship with the bride.

They should not expect a gift in the thousands. OP was worried that they would and it would create drama if she didn’t give them thousands. It sounds like OP is more successful than her siblings and they feel entitled to her money. Excellent time to shut that down!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If there is a no kids wedding, adding one 9 year old that people wonder about causes more hassle than never seeing OP and their $$$ again.

How do they know she's going to be so vindictive? It wasn't a decision that was personal to her. They invited her to come and would probably be happy to see her believing they have a close relationship. It doesn't mean they don't like her son. His not going doesn't mean he won't be close with cousins. All of this is just made up narrative to fuel anger.

Yeah, no.

It’s perfectly fine for the couple to have a no kids wedding. However, they can’t expect attendance or huge cash gifts from relatives with kids.

The aunt isn’t vindictive because she won’t attend or send a bucket of cash. A nice $200 gift is all that good manners requires.

Nobody said it wasn't fine, OP came up with the punishment all on her own. She wants to send a message with her gift but nobody knows if the message will even be received. In OPs mind she is the VIP of this wedding.

Are you a bridezilla drooling to get other people’s money? Why would she give this pair thousands if they didn’t invite her kid?

Are you some kind of psycho? OP rolled in here and told us all about her spite gift. It's not like she said she was going to give her usual $200 gift she was hoping they would expect they would be miffed by a smaller gift because in her mind they should be expecting something more. We have no idea what their expectations are whatsoever. OP has zero relationship with the bride.

They should not expect a gift in the thousands. OP was worried that they would and it would create drama if she didn’t give them thousands. It sounds like OP is more successful than her siblings and they feel entitled to her money. Excellent time to shut that down!

It sounds like all this drama exists in OPs mind. She hasn't even discussed the wedding with the nephew at all. He hasn't called her up to make sure she's even attending.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If there is a no kids wedding, adding one 9 year old that people wonder about causes more hassle than never seeing OP and their $$$ again.

How do they know she's going to be so vindictive? It wasn't a decision that was personal to her. They invited her to come and would probably be happy to see her believing they have a close relationship. It doesn't mean they don't like her son. His not going doesn't mean he won't be close with cousins. All of this is just made up narrative to fuel anger.

Yeah, no.

It’s perfectly fine for the couple to have a no kids wedding. However, they can’t expect attendance or huge cash gifts from relatives with kids.

The aunt isn’t vindictive because she won’t attend or send a bucket of cash. A nice $200 gift is all that good manners requires.

Nobody said it wasn't fine, OP came up with the punishment all on her own. She wants to send a message with her gift but nobody knows if the message will even be received. In OPs mind she is the VIP of this wedding.

Are you a bridezilla drooling to get other people’s money? Why would she give this pair thousands if they didn’t invite her kid?

Are you some kind of psycho? OP rolled in here and told us all about her spite gift. It's not like she said she was going to give her usual $200 gift she was hoping they would expect they would be miffed by a smaller gift because in her mind they should be expecting something more. We have no idea what their expectations are whatsoever. OP has zero relationship with the bride.

They should not expect a gift in the thousands. OP was worried that they would and it would create drama if she didn’t give them thousands. It sounds like OP is more successful than her siblings and they feel entitled to her money. Excellent time to shut that down!

It sounds like all this drama exists in OPs mind. She hasn't even discussed the wedding with the nephew at all. He hasn't called her up to make sure she's even attending.

Yep. We have 25 pages of speculations based on the OP’s speculations — when she never bothered to use her words. As far as we know, she hasn’t even asked her son if he wants to go. It’s a lot of turmoil so her 9 year old son can get dressed up, eat food intended for an adults-only event, and be on good behavior throughout travel, the wedding itself, and the reception— as the only kid in the room. What’s also odd to me is that it’s possible that the OP’s gesture with the smaller gift will be meaningless, since even if it registers as “small”, it’s unlikely that anyone will connect it with the decision to have an adults-only wedding. Oh well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, if you want to increase the chances of your child having a good relationship with the cousins and rest of the family, here is what you do:

Go to the party. Have a great time. Smile. Say congratulations and best wishes. Do not say a WORD about your son being excluded.

Leave DH and son at home or son with a babysitter or DH and son come with you but do something else fun in town that night. Stay at the wedding hotel and maybe your son will hang with family casually. Explain matter of factly to son that sometimes at weddings kids are not invited and it's nothing personal.

Nope. After everything that OP has done for the nephew, she does not have a good relationship. Which means that it is fruitless to be nice to them. Skip the wedding, skip the gift. Send regrets.

That's it. Maybe the better class of relatives will get the message and treat OP well going forward. But if they all are trailer trash kind of people, she does not need to have a realtionship with them for the sake of her kid. She is better off just saving all that money for her own child.

You sound like you wouldn't be any fun at a wedding anyway. Please, do, stay home. Nobody cares about some random aunty and her brat this much.

Actually, we get invited to more weddings each year than the total number of weddings you will attend in your own lifetime - including your own and your parents. So, stfu and go back to your basement. Such a dysfunctional and trashy family culture!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If there is a no kids wedding, adding one 9 year old that people wonder about causes more hassle than never seeing OP and their $$$ again.

How do they know she's going to be so vindictive? It wasn't a decision that was personal to her. They invited her to come and would probably be happy to see her believing they have a close relationship. It doesn't mean they don't like her son. His not going doesn't mean he won't be close with cousins. All of this is just made up narrative to fuel anger.

Yeah, no.

It’s perfectly fine for the couple to have a no kids wedding. However, they can’t expect attendance or huge cash gifts from relatives with kids.

The aunt isn’t vindictive because she won’t attend or send a bucket of cash. A nice $200 gift is all that good manners requires.

Nobody said it wasn't fine, OP came up with the punishment all on her own. She wants to send a message with her gift but nobody knows if the message will even be received. In OPs mind she is the VIP of this wedding.

Are you a bridezilla drooling to get other people’s money? Why would she give this pair thousands if they didn’t invite her kid?

Just a shitty dinner at a restaurant that the parents are hosting? LOL. OP, skip this low cost cheapy wedding. You are not missing anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, if you want to increase the chances of your child having a good relationship with the cousins and rest of the family, here is what you do:

Go to the party. Have a great time. Smile. Say congratulations and best wishes. Do not say a WORD about your son being excluded.

Leave DH and son at home or son with a babysitter or DH and son come with you but do something else fun in town that night. Stay at the wedding hotel and maybe your son will hang with family casually. Explain matter of factly to son that sometimes at weddings kids are not invited and it's nothing personal.

Nope. After everything that OP has done for the nephew, she does not have a good relationship. Which means that it is fruitless to be nice to them. Skip the wedding, skip the gift. Send regrets.

That's it. Maybe the better class of relatives will get the message and treat OP well going forward. But if they all are trailer trash kind of people, she does not need to have a realtionship with them for the sake of her kid. She is better off just saving all that money for her own child.

You sound like you wouldn't be any fun at a wedding anyway. Please, do, stay home. Nobody cares about some random aunty and her brat this much.

Actually, we get invited to more weddings each year than the total number of weddings you will attend in your own lifetime - including your own and your parents. So, stfu and go back to your basement. Such a dysfunctional and trashy family culture!

Akshually..... nobody believes you, sociopath.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If there is a no kids wedding, adding one 9 year old that people wonder about causes more hassle than never seeing OP and their $$$ again.

How do they know she's going to be so vindictive? It wasn't a decision that was personal to her. They invited her to come and would probably be happy to see her believing they have a close relationship. It doesn't mean they don't like her son. His not going doesn't mean he won't be close with cousins. All of this is just made up narrative to fuel anger.

Yeah, no.

It’s perfectly fine for the couple to have a no kids wedding. However, they can’t expect attendance or huge cash gifts from relatives with kids.

The aunt isn’t vindictive because she won’t attend or send a bucket of cash. A nice $200 gift is all that good manners requires.

Nobody said it wasn't fine, OP came up with the punishment all on her own. She wants to send a message with her gift but nobody knows if the message will even be received. In OPs mind she is the VIP of this wedding.

Are you a bridezilla drooling to get other people’s money? Why would she give this pair thousands if they didn’t invite her kid?

Just a shitty dinner at a restaurant that the parents are hosting? LOL. OP, skip this low cost cheapy wedding. You are not missing anything.

That was a completely different post But it's probably the same troll.

[Anonymous]

IMO it takes a petty person to jump to offense. There could be so many reasons this is a childfree wedding, and I guarantee that singling our your son specifically is NOT the reason. This isn't about you and your family.

Don't jump to offense.

If you're so close to the nephew, send anote saying "Chad, we are so happy for you and would love to come, but we aren't able to leave Larlo behind." He will either offer or not. THEN you can be offended if you must be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:IMO it takes a petty person to jump to offense. There could be so many reasons this is a childfree wedding, and I guarantee that singling our your son specifically is NOT the reason. This isn't about you and your family.

Don't jump to offense.

If you're so close to the nephew, send anote saying "Chad, we are so happy for you and would love to come, but we aren't able to leave Larlo behind." He will either offer or not. THEN you can be offended if you must be.

I wonder what the OP will say if her kid is invited— but is bored to death because he’s the only kid. I wonder what the OP will say if they invite her kid — and then feel pressed to invite the 25 other kids of the couple’s friends and on the bride’s side of the family — and due to the extra expenses and anticipated tastes of the guests scale down to a less expensive menu that prioritizes things like chicken nuggets and dipping sauces.
I wonder what the OP will say when she gets a very nice thank you note for her gift from the bride who’s never met the OP, knows nothing about the long ago gifts of money to the groom, and doesn’t realize the intent behind the gift. Ok, enough wondering for a Saturday.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:IMO it takes a petty person to jump to offense. There could be so many reasons this is a childfree wedding, and I guarantee that singling our your son specifically is NOT the reason. This isn't about you and your family.

Don't jump to offense.

If you're so close to the nephew, send anote saying "Chad, we are so happy for you and would love to come, but we aren't able to leave Larlo behind." He will either offer or not. THEN you can be offended if you must be.

I wonder what the OP will say if her kid is invited— but is bored to death because he’s the only kid. I wonder what the OP will say if they invite her kid — and then feel pressed to invite the 25 other kids of the couple’s friends and on the bride’s side of the family — and due to the extra expenses and anticipated tastes of the guests scale down to a less expensive menu that prioritizes things like chicken nuggets and dipping sauces.
I wonder what the OP will say when she gets a very nice thank you note for her gift from the bride who’s never met the OP, knows nothing about the long ago gifts of money to the groom, and doesn’t realize the intent behind the gift. Ok, enough wondering for a Saturday.

My bet is this pair doesn’t write thank you notes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If there is a no kids wedding, adding one 9 year old that people wonder about causes more hassle than never seeing OP and their $$$ again.

How do they know she's going to be so vindictive? It wasn't a decision that was personal to her. They invited her to come and would probably be happy to see her believing they have a close relationship. It doesn't mean they don't like her son. His not going doesn't mean he won't be close with cousins. All of this is just made up narrative to fuel anger.

Yeah, no.

It’s perfectly fine for the couple to have a no kids wedding. However, they can’t expect attendance or huge cash gifts from relatives with kids.

The aunt isn’t vindictive because she won’t attend or send a bucket of cash. A nice $200 gift is all that good manners requires.

The aunt isn’t vindictive because she won’t send a bucket of cash — she’s vindictive because she felt compelled to say how much more she would have spent if the wedding plans had been as she wished. She could have left that part out, but she chose not to.