Strange comment

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Its not a strange comment if you often act like this. MIL probably had her limit!

Limit with what?

Since when is it ok to butt in and stick your nose into someone else's marriage

Of OP's bossiness/speaking for her husband/rudeness/ you name it!

You got this from one comment she made one time. Wow!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, wow, way out of line. Even IF that's how HE wants to spend the money, you don't say that in front of the gift-giver. Super rude.

He tells her he's going to have a great day golfing and you shut the F up about it. Besides whats the difference between him having a nice day and renovations it all comes from the same pot.

Literally OP you'll never get a cash gift again.

Not a shocker on DCUM that the woman just has to shut up and keep quiet while her husband gets to do whatever. All the pro momma's boys on here are ridiculous

You are literally crazy. You DH should run for the hills.

We have been married and together for years. Don't you think he knows me by now?

I have been married 37 years and have NEVER assumed a gift for my DH is also a gift for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My MIL gave my husband a $1000 for his birthday. Just to be clear we have been married for 10 years not just long term dating or engaged. I have always considered MIL and I to have a good relationship. We aren't best friends but it's not awkward if we ever end up in a situation where we are alone together. My point in saying this is to say that as far as I know we have no issues between us.

We have been getting home renovations done so when my husband opened his card and it was $1000 in there I said, "oh great we can use it towards our home renovations." My MIL gave me a nasty look and said back to me in a rude tone, "that's money is meant for my son for his birthday it's up to him to decide how it's spent." I said back a little snarky back I will admit, "we are a married couple and we always considered money we get to be family money as I thought it was normal for married couples to share money."

It got very quiet which honestly I'm more annoyed with my husband that he didn't jump in and let me get hammered by his mother but whatever that's besides the point.

Since the whole mood and tone changed I left the house to go for a walk and let them have time together.

I don't know I feel like this is so out of character given that his mom and I have always gotten along well and in the 10+ years I've been with her son I have never seen her act like this.

You would have thought I said oh great we can use the money for me to go on a girl's weekend or for me to get my nails done. But this is OUR house as a married couple this benefits him just as much as me. Besides we are a married couple do married couples not share money typically especially large amounts??

Not to mention it shouldn't be up to the gift giver to determine how the money is spent. For us we are married so it's more of a we are a unit and make these decisions together we are one in the married sense.

I want my husband to talk to his mother about making comments that are out of line and quite frankly none of her business what I say to my husband a married couple and I think she owes me an apology.

He said he is going to talk to her because it's out of character for her. And ask her to talk to me and to apologize.

I guess I'm just really hurt and taken a back because this type of comment doesn't just come out of no where if you are typically pretty close with someone.

I have a DIL that is probably like you. Whenever I ask my son a question addressing him directly she always answers for him. Whenever my son goes to another room to talk to me she follows him. Whenever I visit my son and DIL if I go to the store to buy something for him I hear it later from my son that my DIL was hurt that I didn't treat her equal and get something for her too. It's almost like now that my son is married I have to treat them like conjoined twins and that my son isn't still a separate individual.

Yes my son is married and I like his wife but he was my son for 20 plus years before his wife came into the picture and while I expect him to put his wife first I should be able to do things occasionally just for my son and maintain my own individual relationship with him without including his wife in every damn thing I do for my son. I can't even visit my son and buy him a Tshirt without expecting my DIL to nope and cry she didn't get one too. Like Jesus Christ can't I buy a freaking $20 shirt for my son without having to get one for her too.

[Anonymous]

I understand what OP is saying about joint finances when you are married. However birthday money is different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MIL gave my husband a $1000 for his birthday. Just to be clear we have been married for 10 years not just long term dating or engaged. I have always considered MIL and I to have a good relationship. We aren't best friends but it's not awkward if we ever end up in a situation where we are alone together. My point in saying this is to say that as far as I know we have no issues between us.

We have been getting home renovations done so when my husband opened his card and it was $1000 in there I said, "oh great we can use it towards our home renovations." My MIL gave me a nasty look and said back to me in a rude tone, "that's money is meant for my son for his birthday it's up to him to decide how it's spent." I said back a little snarky back I will admit, "we are a married couple and we always considered money we get to be family money as I thought it was normal for married couples to share money."

It got very quiet which honestly I'm more annoyed with my husband that he didn't jump in and let me get hammered by his mother but whatever that's besides the point.

Since the whole mood and tone changed I left the house to go for a walk and let them have time together.

I don't know I feel like this is so out of character given that his mom and I have always gotten along well and in the 10+ years I've been with her son I have never seen her act like this.

You would have thought I said oh great we can use the money for me to go on a girl's weekend or for me to get my nails done. But this is OUR house as a married couple this benefits him just as much as me. Besides we are a married couple do married couples not share money typically especially large amounts??

Not to mention it shouldn't be up to the gift giver to determine how the money is spent. For us we are married so it's more of a we are a unit and make these decisions together we are one in the married sense.

I want my husband to talk to his mother about making comments that are out of line and quite frankly none of her business what I say to my husband a married couple and I think she owes me an apology.

He said he is going to talk to her because it's out of character for her. And ask her to talk to me and to apologize.

I guess I'm just really hurt and taken a back because this type of comment doesn't just come out of no where if you are typically pretty close with someone.

I have a DIL that is probably like you. Whenever I ask my son a question addressing him directly she always answers for him. Whenever my son goes to another room to talk to me she follows him. Whenever I visit my son and DIL if I go to the store to buy something for him I hear it later from my son that my DIL was hurt that I didn't treat her equal and get something for her too. It's almost like now that my son is married I have to treat them like conjoined twins and that my son isn't still a separate individual.

Yes my son is married and I like his wife but he was my son for 20 plus years before his wife came into the picture and while I expect him to put his wife first I should be able to do things occasionally just for my son and maintain my own individual relationship with him without including his wife in every damn thing I do for my son. I can't even visit my son and buy him a Tshirt without expecting my DIL to nope and cry she didn't get one too. Like Jesus Christ can't I buy a freaking $20 shirt for my son without having to get one for her too.

I hear you and agree....but stop buying him stuff, it causes him grief at home. Address checks or whatever to the both of them if you want to give him something.

[Anonymous]

OP messed up manners wise, and the MIL did too.

Oddly, it might have been better for this family to not receive this money.

The MIL sounds controlling to me, and it sounds like the couple needed the extra money.

People make mistakes when they get excited. Clearly, $1000 meant a lot to this family.

I understand why the OP is upset. Maybe the mother in law should remember what it’s like to not be able to write big checks. The MIL needs to give grace and the DIL needs more perspective.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MIL gave my husband a $1000 for his birthday. Just to be clear we have been married for 10 years not just long term dating or engaged. I have always considered MIL and I to have a good relationship. We aren't best friends but it's not awkward if we ever end up in a situation where we are alone together. My point in saying this is to say that as far as I know we have no issues between us.

We have been getting home renovations done so when my husband opened his card and it was $1000 in there I said, "oh great we can use it towards our home renovations." My MIL gave me a nasty look and said back to me in a rude tone, "that's money is meant for my son for his birthday it's up to him to decide how it's spent." I said back a little snarky back I will admit, "we are a married couple and we always considered money we get to be family money as I thought it was normal for married couples to share money."

It got very quiet which honestly I'm more annoyed with my husband that he didn't jump in and let me get hammered by his mother but whatever that's besides the point.

Since the whole mood and tone changed I left the house to go for a walk and let them have time together.

I don't know I feel like this is so out of character given that his mom and I have always gotten along well and in the 10+ years I've been with her son I have never seen her act like this.

You would have thought I said oh great we can use the money for me to go on a girl's weekend or for me to get my nails done. But this is OUR house as a married couple this benefits him just as much as me. Besides we are a married couple do married couples not share money typically especially large amounts??

Not to mention it shouldn't be up to the gift giver to determine how the money is spent. For us we are married so it's more of a we are a unit and make these decisions together we are one in the married sense.

I want my husband to talk to his mother about making comments that are out of line and quite frankly none of her business what I say to my husband a married couple and I think she owes me an apology.

He said he is going to talk to her because it's out of character for her. And ask her to talk to me and to apologize.

I guess I'm just really hurt and taken a back because this type of comment doesn't just come out of no where if you are typically pretty close with someone.

I have a DIL that is probably like you. Whenever I ask my son a question addressing him directly she always answers for him. Whenever my son goes to another room to talk to me she follows him. Whenever I visit my son and DIL if I go to the store to buy something for him I hear it later from my son that my DIL was hurt that I didn't treat her equal and get something for her too. It's almost like now that my son is married I have to treat them like conjoined twins and that my son isn't still a separate individual.

Yes my son is married and I like his wife but he was my son for 20 plus years before his wife came into the picture and while I expect him to put his wife first I should be able to do things occasionally just for my son and maintain my own individual relationship with him without including his wife in every damn thing I do for my son. I can't even visit my son and buy him a Tshirt without expecting my DIL to nope and cry she didn't get one too. Like Jesus Christ can't I buy a freaking $20 shirt for my son without having to get one for her too.

NP. This sounds like a you problem. Why do you continuously keep doing things that you know hurt your son and DIL? At first it came across like a nice innocent thing you are doing for your son and now it seems like it is a power trip on your part to mark your territory to show you are still relevant in your son's life. Almost like you wanna ignore that your DIL exists.

Why is it everytime you do something for your son you insist on leaving out your DIL? Are you really that hard up that it would kill you to get your DIL a $20 shirt or is that too much for you?

I would be hurt if my MIL always bought my husband things and always left me out.

The fact of the matter is the relationship you had with your son when he was a child is going to be different than the one you have with him as a married adult. He has a wife now who is also your DIL and they are a unit and should be treated as such. Not sure why you don't wanna acknowledge that.

Ever heard of the expression it's more important to be kind that to be right? That applies here..you are choosing a $20 shirt to be your hill to die on.

You shouldn't care just how it affects your son but also your DIL as well. She is a human being whose feelings also matter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MIL gave my husband a $1000 for his birthday. Just to be clear we have been married for 10 years not just long term dating or engaged. I have always considered MIL and I to have a good relationship. We aren't best friends but it's not awkward if we ever end up in a situation where we are alone together. My point in saying this is to say that as far as I know we have no issues between us.

We have been getting home renovations done so when my husband opened his card and it was $1000 in there I said, "oh great we can use it towards our home renovations." My MIL gave me a nasty look and said back to me in a rude tone, "that's money is meant for my son for his birthday it's up to him to decide how it's spent." I said back a little snarky back I will admit, "we are a married couple and we always considered money we get to be family money as I thought it was normal for married couples to share money."

It got very quiet which honestly I'm more annoyed with my husband that he didn't jump in and let me get hammered by his mother but whatever that's besides the point.

Since the whole mood and tone changed I left the house to go for a walk and let them have time together.

I don't know I feel like this is so out of character given that his mom and I have always gotten along well and in the 10+ years I've been with her son I have never seen her act like this.

You would have thought I said oh great we can use the money for me to go on a girl's weekend or for me to get my nails done. But this is OUR house as a married couple this benefits him just as much as me. Besides we are a married couple do married couples not share money typically especially large amounts??

Not to mention it shouldn't be up to the gift giver to determine how the money is spent. For us we are married so it's more of a we are a unit and make these decisions together we are one in the married sense.

I want my husband to talk to his mother about making comments that are out of line and quite frankly none of her business what I say to my husband a married couple and I think she owes me an apology.

He said he is going to talk to her because it's out of character for her. And ask her to talk to me and to apologize.

I guess I'm just really hurt and taken a back because this type of comment doesn't just come out of no where if you are typically pretty close with someone.

I have a DIL that is probably like you. Whenever I ask my son a question addressing him directly she always answers for him. Whenever my son goes to another room to talk to me she follows him. Whenever I visit my son and DIL if I go to the store to buy something for him I hear it later from my son that my DIL was hurt that I didn't treat her equal and get something for her too. It's almost like now that my son is married I have to treat them like conjoined twins and that my son isn't still a separate individual.

Yes my son is married and I like his wife but he was my son for 20 plus years before his wife came into the picture and while I expect him to put his wife first I should be able to do things occasionally just for my son and maintain my own individual relationship with him without including his wife in every damn thing I do for my son. I can't even visit my son and buy him a Tshirt without expecting my DIL to nope and cry she didn't get one too. Like Jesus Christ can't I buy a freaking $20 shirt for my son without having to get one for her too.

I hear you and agree....but stop buying him stuff, it causes him grief at home. Address checks or whatever to the both of them if you want to give him something.

This is how you speak of a DIL you supposedly like? Jeez how do you speak of someone you hate? I can almost feel your disdain for her dripping from your post. Sounds like you are almost bitter of her presence and that your son is married to someone who isn't you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MIL gave my husband a $1000 for his birthday. Just to be clear we have been married for 10 years not just long term dating or engaged. I have always considered MIL and I to have a good relationship. We aren't best friends but it's not awkward if we ever end up in a situation where we are alone together. My point in saying this is to say that as far as I know we have no issues between us.

We have been getting home renovations done so when my husband opened his card and it was $1000 in there I said, "oh great we can use it towards our home renovations." My MIL gave me a nasty look and said back to me in a rude tone, "that's money is meant for my son for his birthday it's up to him to decide how it's spent." I said back a little snarky back I will admit, "we are a married couple and we always considered money we get to be family money as I thought it was normal for married couples to share money."

It got very quiet which honestly I'm more annoyed with my husband that he didn't jump in and let me get hammered by his mother but whatever that's besides the point.

Since the whole mood and tone changed I left the house to go for a walk and let them have time together.

I don't know I feel like this is so out of character given that his mom and I have always gotten along well and in the 10+ years I've been with her son I have never seen her act like this.

You would have thought I said oh great we can use the money for me to go on a girl's weekend or for me to get my nails done. But this is OUR house as a married couple this benefits him just as much as me. Besides we are a married couple do married couples not share money typically especially large amounts??

Not to mention it shouldn't be up to the gift giver to determine how the money is spent. For us we are married so it's more of a we are a unit and make these decisions together we are one in the married sense.

I want my husband to talk to his mother about making comments that are out of line and quite frankly none of her business what I say to my husband a married couple and I think she owes me an apology.

He said he is going to talk to her because it's out of character for her. And ask her to talk to me and to apologize.

I guess I'm just really hurt and taken a back because this type of comment doesn't just come out of no where if you are typically pretty close with someone.

I have a DIL that is probably like you. Whenever I ask my son a question addressing him directly she always answers for him. Whenever my son goes to another room to talk to me she follows him. Whenever I visit my son and DIL if I go to the store to buy something for him I hear it later from my son that my DIL was hurt that I didn't treat her equal and get something for her too. It's almost like now that my son is married I have to treat them like conjoined twins and that my son isn't still a separate individual.

Yes my son is married and I like his wife but he was my son for 20 plus years before his wife came into the picture and while I expect him to put his wife first I should be able to do things occasionally just for my son and maintain my own individual relationship with him without including his wife in every damn thing I do for my son. I can't even visit my son and buy him a Tshirt without expecting my DIL to nope and cry she didn't get one too. Like Jesus Christ can't I buy a freaking $20 shirt for my son without having to get one for her too.

I hear you and agree....but stop buying him stuff, it causes him grief at home. Address checks or whatever to the both of them if you want to give him something.

This is how you speak of a DIL you supposedly like? Jeez how do you speak of someone you hate? I can almost feel your disdain for her dripping from your post. Sounds like you are almost bitter of her presence and that your son is married to someone who isn't you

Sorry meant to respond to the OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MIL gave my husband a $1000 for his birthday. Just to be clear we have been married for 10 years not just long term dating or engaged. I have always considered MIL and I to have a good relationship. We aren't best friends but it's not awkward if we ever end up in a situation where we are alone together. My point in saying this is to say that as far as I know we have no issues between us.

We have been getting home renovations done so when my husband opened his card and it was $1000 in there I said, "oh great we can use it towards our home renovations." My MIL gave me a nasty look and said back to me in a rude tone, "that's money is meant for my son for his birthday it's up to him to decide how it's spent." I said back a little snarky back I will admit, "we are a married couple and we always considered money we get to be family money as I thought it was normal for married couples to share money."

It got very quiet which honestly I'm more annoyed with my husband that he didn't jump in and let me get hammered by his mother but whatever that's besides the point.

Since the whole mood and tone changed I left the house to go for a walk and let them have time together.

I don't know I feel like this is so out of character given that his mom and I have always gotten along well and in the 10+ years I've been with her son I have never seen her act like this.

You would have thought I said oh great we can use the money for me to go on a girl's weekend or for me to get my nails done. But this is OUR house as a married couple this benefits him just as much as me. Besides we are a married couple do married couples not share money typically especially large amounts??

Not to mention it shouldn't be up to the gift giver to determine how the money is spent. For us we are married so it's more of a we are a unit and make these decisions together we are one in the married sense.

I want my husband to talk to his mother about making comments that are out of line and quite frankly none of her business what I say to my husband a married couple and I think she owes me an apology.

He said he is going to talk to her because it's out of character for her. And ask her to talk to me and to apologize.

I guess I'm just really hurt and taken a back because this type of comment doesn't just come out of no where if you are typically pretty close with someone.

I have a DIL that is probably like you. Whenever I ask my son a question addressing him directly she always answers for him. Whenever my son goes to another room to talk to me she follows him. Whenever I visit my son and DIL if I go to the store to buy something for him I hear it later from my son that my DIL was hurt that I didn't treat her equal and get something for her too. It's almost like now that my son is married I have to treat them like conjoined twins and that my son isn't still a separate individual.

Yes my son is married and I like his wife but he was my son for 20 plus years before his wife came into the picture and while I expect him to put his wife first I should be able to do things occasionally just for my son and maintain my own individual relationship with him without including his wife in every damn thing I do for my son. I can't even visit my son and buy him a Tshirt without expecting my DIL to nope and cry she didn't get one too. Like Jesus Christ can't I buy a freaking $20 shirt for my son without having to get one for her too.

I hear you and agree....but stop buying him stuff, it causes him grief at home. Address checks or whatever to the both of them if you want to give him something.

Why? Not PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, wow, way out of line. Even IF that's how HE wants to spend the money, you don't say that in front of the gift-giver. Super rude.

He tells her he's going to have a great day golfing and you shut the F up about it. Besides whats the difference between him having a nice day and renovations it all comes from the same pot.

Literally OP you'll never get a cash gift again.

Not a shocker on DCUM that the woman just has to shut up and keep quiet while her husband gets to do whatever. All the pro momma's boys on here are ridiculous

It's NOT HER MONEY.

Reverse scenario: Mother gives daughter $1000. Husband says sweet we need this for my car! Huh? I didn't give the money to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, wow, way out of line. Even IF that's how HE wants to spend the money, you don't say that in front of the gift-giver. Super rude.

He tells her he's going to have a great day golfing and you shut the F up about it. Besides whats the difference between him having a nice day and renovations it all comes from the same pot.

Literally OP you'll never get a cash gift again.

Not a shocker on DCUM that the woman just has to shut up and keep quiet while her husband gets to do whatever. All the pro momma's boys on here are ridiculous

Ok I officially no longer believe this is a real person.

[Anonymous]

It was a birthday gift to him. Rude to assume it would go anywhere other than to him. Team MIL. Signed a DIL.

[Anonymous]

Your MIL meant it as FUN money. If your husband wants to use it for serious stuff like renos, then the suggestion should come from him. You were wrong to jump in and assume, and your MIL rightfully commented on your behavior.

No, she should not apologize!!! Neither should you. Just don’t do it again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You got between her and her son for no good reason. Your comment was overstepping and rude.

How was it overstepping and getting between them? I'm married to the man this is something that benefits both of us. Most married couples share money especially large amounts like that. If anything she was getting in between our marriage by sticking her nose in a comment I made to my HUSBAND that wasn't hers to comment on

OP. You must be a troll. Either that or you are psychotic.