
I don't understand why I have to apologize to MIL for a comment I made to my HUSBAND. Even if I was wrong MIL has no business getting involved in a comment I made to my husband. It's not her job to correct me. And yes of course a gift is up to the receiver is for the receiver. But for our marriage our money is always shared whether it's given to me or to him. But MIL doesn't know that so therefore shouldn't comment on it. |
I'm browbeating my husband for asking him to talk to his mom?? Wow extreme much?? |
If I'm going to make the comment to my husband what difference does it make if I wait 5 seconds or 5 hours later? |
The difference is avoiding scenarios like this one. |
Because it is very rude to direct how the funds will be spent when it isn’t your money and the gift giver is sitting there. So rude. |
Ok - you’re definitely the problem |
Just him? Why would she want to leave his wife out? Her DIL? |
Why would you say that |
I really think your comment was rude and greedy sounding. You don't watch someone else open a birthday gift and declare how you are going to use it.
A family member of mine does this all the time around her inlaws. She just can't stop talking and it makes her seem like a boor when she really isn't. Just because you're married doesn't mean you need to speak up about how money is shared. My inlaws like to talk about their inheritance and how it's going to be split, their will. I know to just keep my mouth shut. That's between DH and his sibling. Any opinions I have on their inheritance plan (or retirement plans!) are for me to state to my husband when we're alone. Even if they ask for my opinion, they aren't really. |
Because it is his birthday. |
But isn't it not up to the giver what and who the receiver spends their money on? |
What's wrong though if you wanted to spend it on your husband? That's your daughter's spouse not just a friend |
The good news is MIl has now learned her lesson and will almost certainly give her son physical gifts that her DIL can’t co-opt rather than cash for future occasions. |
Do you often feel like people look down on your behaviors? I'm assuming so, from your defensiveness and sticking to the tiny point that she commented on your side conversation as the most offensive thing here. You just have bad manners. |
NP- YES! Your spouse doesn't need to talk to his mom about this. You were rude. You should apologize to him for making his freaking birthday tense. It's not all about you. You sounded crass when you said it and now you're digging your heels in and not listening. You really are ill mannered. |