Upstairs is off-limits to guests

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is very strange.

We usually give people “the tour” when they come over, if we know them well, and then they see upstairs is bedrooms / offices. When we have overnight guests, they stay upstairs and I want them to feel at home.

Never have I had a guest just wandering around in my house, and we have hosted lots of big get-togethers. Even my 6-yo nephew has the common sense to ask if he can go upstairs and watch TV in the den/office.

That said, there is some weird privacy defensiveness here as well. If someone goes into our bedrooms, they’d see: beds. There’s nothing truly private or sacred about that space.

If they wanted to dig around in our dressers to find dildos or bongs or whatever, that’s weird. But also very unlikely.

They go into your private bed/bath...why? What reason do they have to be there?

You do not owe anyone a tour of your private space. If you want to give a tour, fine. But a guest that takes it upon themselves to go into your bedroom for a look around is just being nosy. There really is no innocent explanation for it.

Maybe you don't want someone wandering in there to see your laundry basket full of dirty clothes or whatever. It's not a public space and it's not a space that guests should wander in and out of like it is a public space.

I don't think you get it. My bedroom and bath aren't "private," but even so, nobody has ever wandered up there. My bedroom has: a bed, two nightstands, two dressers, and some decorations. That's it. Nothing private. My upstairs bathroom is a hall bath with, again, nothing private. It's not a big deal. Go on up. Have fun.

No, I don't think YOU get it. YOUR bedroom and bathrooms might not be private. But the rest of us have lives. We actually live in our houses. They aren't museums. We don't keep all areas of our house "guest ready" like a showroom with every private thing put away at all times. We assume that if we invite respectful adults into our home for a dinner party then they'll stay where the dinner party is.

There are any number of things that people could have in their homes that they don't want the entire world to know about. Financial documents showing that they have a lot of money. Financial documents showing that they don't have a lot of money, and are in trouble. For that matter, financial documents about someone else whose finances they're looking after. Private writings and diaries. Sex toys. Documents or other indications about divorce or possible divorce. Indications that may suggest divorce to someone but aren't necessarily the case (e.g. husband and wife sleeping separately). Business information that shouldn't be in the public domain. Medication for serious (e.g. cancer) and/or embarrassing issues. Medical devices. Dirty clothes and/or underwear. Random piles of mess. I could go on.

I'm not the PP but I also don't restrict rooms in my house. I also don't invite people to be guests (especially overnight guests) if I don't trust them in my home. I do clean up before I have guests and put anything sensitive away in a closet or cabinet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are they maybe wanting company or looking for some kind of supplies like tampons, towels or the laundry room?

I’ll bet big bucks it’s one of OP’s inlaws whom she doesn’t like in general. To OP, the guest is being “nosy.”

OP here. I've had both members of my family and my husband's familly do this. I've also had near-strangers do this, who were invited for a holiday party. I don't get how people don't get that this is not how you act in someone's home.

I am very much a “mi class, su casa” type and appreciate when guests make themselves at home so I am not having to think through all the things to make them comfortable. But, I do understand that my style is different so I try not to overstep when a guest at someone else’s. But I am sure you can see how these are two conflicting styles can cause issues if you are the type of person who likes to maintain a lot of control. In which case, you should just not open your home to guests, in my opinion.

I don’t know why people as tightly wound as OP bother to host. Maybe the guests had a good reason, maybe they just wanted to see what your upstairs looked like but if you have such an inhospitable attitude just don’t bother.

What was the good reason? Still waiting.

I'd love to see the inner workings of Jose Andres' kitchens. I suppose the next time I'm being hosted in one of his restaurants or one of the hotels in which has a restaurant, I should just wander right on back? Hey, I have more of a claim on that than I do when you host me at your house; I'm a paying customer!

Maybe they need to retrieve a kid who went upstairs without permission. Maybe they thought their coat was left in an upstairs bedroom and didn't want to bother the host. Maybe they just wanted to look at the layout. But if you're that suspicious of the people you're inviting over, don't invite them. Homes aren't fortresses, and I feel sorry for people who feel like someone entering a room constitutes a deleterious invasion of privacy. They shouldn't be hosting.

... and there we have it, ladies and gentlemen... “Maybe they just wanted to look at the layout.” As if that gives them a reason or a right to go into someone’s home where they haven’t been invited. But that’s their mentality - it’s okay because they wanted to look at the layout. Unbelievable.

Exactly. I am sometimes invited to the home of a former university president and his wife. She has gorgeous jewelry and I would love "a look" at the rest of her collection. Shall I wander up to see "the layout" of her bedroom, and take a peek inside her drawers and jewel boxes while I'm there?! Her home "isn't a fortress," after all. If she doesn't want me in her bedroom, don't invite me...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I host a lot and have overnight guests pretty frequently.

1. Please realize that not everyone has the same relationship with their family or in laws that you do. I am absolutely not comfortable with my MIL coming into our master bedroom.

2. I am little concerned that so many posters think it is normal to intrude on others personal space during a party. Bathrooms are fine, but if a door is closed, good God do not open it.

Seriously, We were having a (rather large) dinner party and I spilled something on myself. I decided to quietly and quickly run upstairs to change. Mid-change one of the guests opens the door to my master bedroom. It was embarrassing and rude. She just said sorry and closed the door quickly but I still wonder what she was doing wandering upstairs. All we have upstairs are bedrooms and bathrooms. And the upstairs bathroom door was open to the hallway (so I know she wasn't looking to use the upstairs bathroom - I checked).

Wow, did you mention it to your other friends? I think I would have had to mention it, in case she was looking for drugs or money to steal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is very strange.

We usually give people “the tour” when they come over, if we know them well, and then they see upstairs is bedrooms / offices. When we have overnight guests, they stay upstairs and I want them to feel at home.

Never have I had a guest just wandering around in my house, and we have hosted lots of big get-togethers. Even my 6-yo nephew has the common sense to ask if he can go upstairs and watch TV in the den/office.

That said, there is some weird privacy defensiveness here as well. If someone goes into our bedrooms, they’d see: beds. There’s nothing truly private or sacred about that space.

If they wanted to dig around in our dressers to find dildos or bongs or whatever, that’s weird. But also very unlikely.

They go into your private bed/bath...why? What reason do they have to be there?

You do not owe anyone a tour of your private space. If you want to give a tour, fine. But a guest that takes it upon themselves to go into your bedroom for a look around is just being nosy. There really is no innocent explanation for it.

Maybe you don't want someone wandering in there to see your laundry basket full of dirty clothes or whatever. It's not a public space and it's not a space that guests should wander in and out of like it is a public space.

I don't think you get it. My bedroom and bath aren't "private," but even so, nobody has ever wandered up there. My bedroom has: a bed, two nightstands, two dressers, and some decorations. That's it. Nothing private. My upstairs bathroom is a hall bath with, again, nothing private. It's not a big deal. Go on up. Have fun.

No, I don't think YOU get it. YOUR bedroom and bathrooms might not be private. But the rest of us have lives. We actually live in our houses. They aren't museums. We don't keep all areas of our house "guest ready" like a showroom with every private thing put away at all times. We assume that if we invite respectful adults into our home for a dinner party then they'll stay where the dinner party is.

There are any number of things that people could have in their homes that they don't want the entire world to know about. Financial documents showing that they have a lot of money. Financial documents showing that they don't have a lot of money, and are in trouble. For that matter, financial documents about someone else whose finances they're looking after. Private writings and diaries. Sex toys. Documents or other indications about divorce or possible divorce. Indications that may suggest divorce to someone but aren't necessarily the case (e.g. husband and wife sleeping separately). Business information that shouldn't be in the public domain. Medication for serious (e.g. cancer) and/or embarrassing issues. Medical devices. Dirty clothes and/or underwear. Random piles of mess. I could go on.

I'm not the PP but I also don't restrict rooms in my house. I also don't invite people to be guests (especially overnight guests) if I don't trust them in my home. I do clean up before I have guests and put anything sensitive away in a closet or cabinet.

I highly doubt that anyone with the audacity and absence of social skills to wander around uninvited into private areas of someone's house (particularly when those areas are separated from the others by a closed door or set of stairs) would have a problem going into a cabinet or closet.

[Anonymous]

Fill your medicine cabinet with marbles and rig your jewelry drawer with one of those kids electronic maker sets so that the drawer buzzes loudly when you open it.

Bwaaa-ha-ha-ha!

[Anonymous]

This thread is fascinating. The number of people defending (fake accidently) wandering into private spaces tells me there are a lot of nosey and bold people out there!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is very strange.

We usually give people “the tour” when they come over, if we know them well, and then they see upstairs is bedrooms / offices. When we have overnight guests, they stay upstairs and I want them to feel at home.

Never have I had a guest just wandering around in my house, and we have hosted lots of big get-togethers. Even my 6-yo nephew has the common sense to ask if he can go upstairs and watch TV in the den/office.

That said, there is some weird privacy defensiveness here as well. If someone goes into our bedrooms, they’d see: beds. There’s nothing truly private or sacred about that space.

If they wanted to dig around in our dressers to find dildos or bongs or whatever, that’s weird. But also very unlikely.

They go into your private bed/bath...why? What reason do they have to be there?

You do not owe anyone a tour of your private space. If you want to give a tour, fine. But a guest that takes it upon themselves to go into your bedroom for a look around is just being nosy. There really is no innocent explanation for it.

Maybe you don't want someone wandering in there to see your laundry basket full of dirty clothes or whatever. It's not a public space and it's not a space that guests should wander in and out of like it is a public space.

I don't think you get it. My bedroom and bath aren't "private," but even so, nobody has ever wandered up there. My bedroom has: a bed, two nightstands, two dressers, and some decorations. That's it. Nothing private. My upstairs bathroom is a hall bath with, again, nothing private. It's not a big deal. Go on up. Have fun.

No, I don't think YOU get it. YOUR bedroom and bathrooms might not be private. But the rest of us have lives. We actually live in our houses. They aren't museums. We don't keep all areas of our house "guest ready" like a showroom with every private thing put away at all times. We assume that if we invite respectful adults into our home for a dinner party then they'll stay where the dinner party is.

There are any number of things that people could have in their homes that they don't want the entire world to know about. Financial documents showing that they have a lot of money. Financial documents showing that they don't have a lot of money, and are in trouble. For that matter, financial documents about someone else whose finances they're looking after. Private writings and diaries. Sex toys. Documents or other indications about divorce or possible divorce. Indications that may suggest divorce to someone but aren't necessarily the case (e.g. husband and wife sleeping separately). Business information that shouldn't be in the public domain. Medication for serious (e.g. cancer) and/or embarrassing issues. Medical devices. Dirty clothes and/or underwear. Random piles of mess. I could go on.

I'm not the PP but I also don't restrict rooms in my house. I also don't invite people to be guests (especially overnight guests) if I don't trust them in my home. I do clean up before I have guests and put anything sensitive away in a closet or cabinet.

I highly doubt that anyone with the audacity and absence of social skills to wander around uninvited into private areas of someone's house (particularly when those areas are separated from the others by a closed door or set of stairs) would have a problem going into a cabinet or closet.

There's a huge difference in wandering upstairs to find your host or to find your kid and in going through someone's closets. I'm sorry people have friends who do these things, but I would never restrict the movement of my guests. They're guests because I like them!

[Anonymous]

You don't go up or into bedrooms and when people are my guests I don't go into those areas either until they leave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is very strange.

We usually give people “the tour” when they come over, if we know them well, and then they see upstairs is bedrooms / offices. When we have overnight guests, they stay upstairs and I want them to feel at home.

Never have I had a guest just wandering around in my house, and we have hosted lots of big get-togethers. Even my 6-yo nephew has the common sense to ask if he can go upstairs and watch TV in the den/office.

That said, there is some weird privacy defensiveness here as well. If someone goes into our bedrooms, they’d see: beds. There’s nothing truly private or sacred about that space.

If they wanted to dig around in our dressers to find dildos or bongs or whatever, that’s weird. But also very unlikely.

They go into your private bed/bath...why? What reason do they have to be there?

You do not owe anyone a tour of your private space. If you want to give a tour, fine. But a guest that takes it upon themselves to go into your bedroom for a look around is just being nosy. There really is no innocent explanation for it.

Maybe you don't want someone wandering in there to see your laundry basket full of dirty clothes or whatever. It's not a public space and it's not a space that guests should wander in and out of like it is a public space.

I don't think you get it. My bedroom and bath aren't "private," but even so, nobody has ever wandered up there. My bedroom has: a bed, two nightstands, two dressers, and some decorations. That's it. Nothing private. My upstairs bathroom is a hall bath with, again, nothing private. It's not a big deal. Go on up. Have fun.

No, I don't think YOU get it. YOUR bedroom and bathrooms might not be private. But the rest of us have lives. We actually live in our houses. They aren't museums. We don't keep all areas of our house "guest ready" like a showroom with every private thing put away at all times. We assume that if we invite respectful adults into our home for a dinner party then they'll stay where the dinner party is.

There are any number of things that people could have in their homes that they don't want the entire world to know about. Financial documents showing that they have a lot of money. Financial documents showing that they don't have a lot of money, and are in trouble. For that matter, financial documents about someone else whose finances they're looking after. Private writings and diaries. Sex toys. Documents or other indications about divorce or possible divorce. Indications that may suggest divorce to someone but aren't necessarily the case (e.g. husband and wife sleeping separately). Business information that shouldn't be in the public domain. Medication for serious (e.g. cancer) and/or embarrassing issues. Medical devices. Dirty clothes and/or underwear. Random piles of mess. I could go on.

I'm not the PP but I also don't restrict rooms in my house. I also don't invite people to be guests (especially overnight guests) if I don't trust them in my home. I do clean up before I have guests and put anything sensitive away in a closet or cabinet.

I highly doubt that anyone with the audacity and absence of social skills to wander around uninvited into private areas of someone's house (particularly when those areas are separated from the others by a closed door or set of stairs) would have a problem going into a cabinet or closet.

There's a huge difference in wandering upstairs to find your host or to find your kid and in going through someone's closets. I'm sorry people have friends who do these things, but I would never restrict the movement of my guests. They're guests because I like them!

You don't need to "find" your host. If you host has popped upstairs for 5 minutes, it's because she spilled wine on her shirt and is quickly changing. You must be the person who barged in on the host doing just that! You don't need to "find" your host. Maybe he went to the bathroom, too.

You can wait 5 bloody minutes for your host to reappear to say goodbye, ask a question, or what have you. Be an adult. Manage yourself for 5 minutes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is very strange.

We usually give people “the tour” when they come over, if we know them well, and then they see upstairs is bedrooms / offices. When we have overnight guests, they stay upstairs and I want them to feel at home.

Never have I had a guest just wandering around in my house, and we have hosted lots of big get-togethers. Even my 6-yo nephew has the common sense to ask if he can go upstairs and watch TV in the den/office.

That said, there is some weird privacy defensiveness here as well. If someone goes into our bedrooms, they’d see: beds. There’s nothing truly private or sacred about that space.

If they wanted to dig around in our dressers to find dildos or bongs or whatever, that’s weird. But also very unlikely.

They go into your private bed/bath...why? What reason do they have to be there?

You do not owe anyone a tour of your private space. If you want to give a tour, fine. But a guest that takes it upon themselves to go into your bedroom for a look around is just being nosy. There really is no innocent explanation for it.

Maybe you don't want someone wandering in there to see your laundry basket full of dirty clothes or whatever. It's not a public space and it's not a space that guests should wander in and out of like it is a public space.

I don't think you get it. My bedroom and bath aren't "private," but even so, nobody has ever wandered up there. My bedroom has: a bed, two nightstands, two dressers, and some decorations. That's it. Nothing private. My upstairs bathroom is a hall bath with, again, nothing private. It's not a big deal. Go on up. Have fun.

No, I don't think YOU get it. YOUR bedroom and bathrooms might not be private. But the rest of us have lives. We actually live in our houses. They aren't museums. We don't keep all areas of our house "guest ready" like a showroom with every private thing put away at all times. We assume that if we invite respectful adults into our home for a dinner party then they'll stay where the dinner party is.

There are any number of things that people could have in their homes that they don't want the entire world to know about. Financial documents showing that they have a lot of money. Financial documents showing that they don't have a lot of money, and are in trouble. For that matter, financial documents about someone else whose finances they're looking after. Private writings and diaries. Sex toys. Documents or other indications about divorce or possible divorce. Indications that may suggest divorce to someone but aren't necessarily the case (e.g. husband and wife sleeping separately). Business information that shouldn't be in the public domain. Medication for serious (e.g. cancer) and/or embarrassing issues. Medical devices. Dirty clothes and/or underwear. Random piles of mess. I could go on.

I'm not the PP but I also don't restrict rooms in my house. I also don't invite people to be guests (especially overnight guests) if I don't trust them in my home. I do clean up before I have guests and put anything sensitive away in a closet or cabinet.

I highly doubt that anyone with the audacity and absence of social skills to wander around uninvited into private areas of someone's house (particularly when those areas are separated from the others by a closed door or set of stairs) would have a problem going into a cabinet or closet.

There's a huge difference in wandering upstairs to find your host or to find your kid and in going through someone's closets. I'm sorry people have friends who do these things, but I would never restrict the movement of my guests. They're guests because I like them!

You don't need to "find" your host. If you host has popped upstairs for 5 minutes, it's because she spilled wine on her shirt and is quickly changing. You must be the person who barged in on the host doing just that! You don't need to "find" your host. Maybe he went to the bathroom, too.

You can wait 5 bloody minutes for your host to reappear to say goodbye, ask a question, or what have you. Be an adult. Manage yourself for 5 minutes.

Nope. Never barged in on anyone. And there's more than one person on this thread who thinks that the pearl clutchers who think guests should be under lockdown are crazy. Sorry your guests aren't trustworthy. Mine are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is very strange.

We usually give people “the tour” when they come over, if we know them well, and then they see upstairs is bedrooms / offices. When we have overnight guests, they stay upstairs and I want them to feel at home.

Never have I had a guest just wandering around in my house, and we have hosted lots of big get-togethers. Even my 6-yo nephew has the common sense to ask if he can go upstairs and watch TV in the den/office.

That said, there is some weird privacy defensiveness here as well. If someone goes into our bedrooms, they’d see: beds. There’s nothing truly private or sacred about that space.

If they wanted to dig around in our dressers to find dildos or bongs or whatever, that’s weird. But also very unlikely.

They go into your private bed/bath...why? What reason do they have to be there?

You do not owe anyone a tour of your private space. If you want to give a tour, fine. But a guest that takes it upon themselves to go into your bedroom for a look around is just being nosy. There really is no innocent explanation for it.

Maybe you don't want someone wandering in there to see your laundry basket full of dirty clothes or whatever. It's not a public space and it's not a space that guests should wander in and out of like it is a public space.

I don't think you get it. My bedroom and bath aren't "private," but even so, nobody has ever wandered up there. My bedroom has: a bed, two nightstands, two dressers, and some decorations. That's it. Nothing private. My upstairs bathroom is a hall bath with, again, nothing private. It's not a big deal. Go on up. Have fun.

No, I don't think YOU get it. YOUR bedroom and bathrooms might not be private. But the rest of us have lives. We actually live in our houses. They aren't museums. We don't keep all areas of our house "guest ready" like a showroom with every private thing put away at all times. We assume that if we invite respectful adults into our home for a dinner party then they'll stay where the dinner party is.

There are any number of things that people could have in their homes that they don't want the entire world to know about. Financial documents showing that they have a lot of money. Financial documents showing that they don't have a lot of money, and are in trouble. For that matter, financial documents about someone else whose finances they're looking after. Private writings and diaries. Sex toys. Documents or other indications about divorce or possible divorce. Indications that may suggest divorce to someone but aren't necessarily the case (e.g. husband and wife sleeping separately). Business information that shouldn't be in the public domain. Medication for serious (e.g. cancer) and/or embarrassing issues. Medical devices. Dirty clothes and/or underwear. Random piles of mess. I could go on.

I'm not the PP but I also don't restrict rooms in my house. I also don't invite people to be guests (especially overnight guests) if I don't trust them in my home. I do clean up before I have guests and put anything sensitive away in a closet or cabinet.

I highly doubt that anyone with the audacity and absence of social skills to wander around uninvited into private areas of someone's house (particularly when those areas are separated from the others by a closed door or set of stairs) would have a problem going into a cabinet or closet.

There's a huge difference in wandering upstairs to find your host or to find your kid and in going through someone's closets. I'm sorry people have friends who do these things, but I would never restrict the movement of my guests. They're guests because I like them!

You don't need to "find" your host. If you host has popped upstairs for 5 minutes, it's because she spilled wine on her shirt and is quickly changing. You must be the person who barged in on the host doing just that! You don't need to "find" your host. Maybe he went to the bathroom, too.

You can wait 5 bloody minutes for your host to reappear to say goodbye, ask a question, or what have you. Be an adult. Manage yourself for 5 minutes.

Nope. Never barged in on anyone. And there's more than one person on this thread who thinks that the pearl clutchers who think guests should be under lockdown are crazy. Sorry your guests aren't trustworthy. Mine are.

Tell me exactly why anyone would need to "find" their host if the host has stepped away for a few minutes to make a quick phone call, change their shirt, use the restroom, grab more paper towels from the basement, etc.? Do you do this to your hosts? Chase after them like a puppy, demanding more attention instead of simply waiting like a grown adult?

[Anonymous]

I did go into a private area once without asking. We were at a 100+ person sized party. My young son had a sudden allergic reaction to the dogs. His eyes were hurting and he was in tears and upset. The hosts were nowhere to be seen. The guest bathroom was occupied. We went into another bathroom rather than make a scene at the kitchen sink. If I were a host this is what I would prefer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Go back to sleep, Barb

lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is very strange.

We usually give people “the tour” when they come over, if we know them well, and then they see upstairs is bedrooms / offices. When we have overnight guests, they stay upstairs and I want them to feel at home.

Never have I had a guest just wandering around in my house, and we have hosted lots of big get-togethers. Even my 6-yo nephew has the common sense to ask if he can go upstairs and watch TV in the den/office.

That said, there is some weird privacy defensiveness here as well. If someone goes into our bedrooms, they’d see: beds. There’s nothing truly private or sacred about that space.

If they wanted to dig around in our dressers to find dildos or bongs or whatever, that’s weird. But also very unlikely.

They go into your private bed/bath...why? What reason do they have to be there?

You do not owe anyone a tour of your private space. If you want to give a tour, fine. But a guest that takes it upon themselves to go into your bedroom for a look around is just being nosy. There really is no innocent explanation for it.

Maybe you don't want someone wandering in there to see your laundry basket full of dirty clothes or whatever. It's not a public space and it's not a space that guests should wander in and out of like it is a public space.

I don't think you get it. My bedroom and bath aren't "private," but even so, nobody has ever wandered up there. My bedroom has: a bed, two nightstands, two dressers, and some decorations. That's it. Nothing private. My upstairs bathroom is a hall bath with, again, nothing private. It's not a big deal. Go on up. Have fun.

No, I don't think YOU get it. YOUR bedroom and bathrooms might not be private. But the rest of us have lives. We actually live in our houses. They aren't museums. We don't keep all areas of our house "guest ready" like a showroom with every private thing put away at all times. We assume that if we invite respectful adults into our home for a dinner party then they'll stay where the dinner party is.

There are any number of things that people could have in their homes that they don't want the entire world to know about. Financial documents showing that they have a lot of money. Financial documents showing that they don't have a lot of money, and are in trouble. For that matter, financial documents about someone else whose finances they're looking after. Private writings and diaries. Sex toys. Documents or other indications about divorce or possible divorce. Indications that may suggest divorce to someone but aren't necessarily the case (e.g. husband and wife sleeping separately). Business information that shouldn't be in the public domain. Medication for serious (e.g. cancer) and/or embarrassing issues. Medical devices. Dirty clothes and/or underwear. Random piles of mess. I could go on.

I'm not the PP but I also don't restrict rooms in my house. I also don't invite people to be guests (especially overnight guests) if I don't trust them in my home. I do clean up before I have guests and put anything sensitive away in a closet or cabinet.

I highly doubt that anyone with the audacity and absence of social skills to wander around uninvited into private areas of someone's house (particularly when those areas are separated from the others by a closed door or set of stairs) would have a problem going into a cabinet or closet.

There's a huge difference in wandering upstairs to find your host or to find your kid and in going through someone's closets. I'm sorry people have friends who do these things, but I would never restrict the movement of my guests. They're guests because I like them!

You don't need to "find" your host. If you host has popped upstairs for 5 minutes, it's because she spilled wine on her shirt and is quickly changing. You must be the person who barged in on the host doing just that! You don't need to "find" your host. Maybe he went to the bathroom, too.

You can wait 5 bloody minutes for your host to reappear to say goodbye, ask a question, or what have you. Be an adult. Manage yourself for 5 minutes.

Nope. Never barged in on anyone. And there's more than one person on this thread who thinks that the pearl clutchers who think guests should be under lockdown are crazy. Sorry your guests aren't trustworthy. Mine are.

If your guests routinely wander into the private rooms of your house then they are not nearly as trustworthy as you think they are. You need to ask yourself what the heck they are looking for inside your master bathroom or why they feel the need to be alone in your master bedroom.

Seriously. That is not normal whether you think their behavior is okie dokie or not.

[Anonymous]

I think you are entitled to know if the dildos and bongs are kept in a locked container