Can’t get husband to help with Easter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Weaponized incompetence at its finest.

This is it and it is so, so annoying. My DH is pretty good but it took years of me saying that this is what we are doing and then delegating certain things. And he knows if he doesn't, I'll do it my way at the price point I want and he gets no say.

But, I truly do not understand why men do this. I get it may not be their thing or they "don't understand" why it's necessary. But we all do things that fall into this category. And if it make the family happy by spending a few minutes doing this stuff, why wouldn't you do it? I know my anal-retentive DH likes the dishwasher filled a certain way (which I don't care about or understand) but i do it.

It really isn't that hard, guys.

It also "really isn't that hard" to comprehend that a man who is not a practicing Christian sees no need to fake-participate in a Christian holiday.

Again. Doesn’t matter. You’re a unit and don’t get to carve things out just because you don’t see the need.

Also Easter bunny is not religious. It’s candy for his children. Finally, he knew Easter would be celebrated if the wife celebrates it. And unless he waited until the night b4, he had enough warning.

You’re just making excuses for her DC being a clueless and a whiner instead of just doing one small task. How often do women get told on her to just “tell them she you want something.”

Again. It does matter. Maybe he doesn’t want to dishonor another religion or cultural tradition by mocking it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Weaponized incompetence at its finest.

Agree.

And also, it’s OK to not do Easter eggs and candy. There are other ways to make holidays meaningful without plastic and sugar.

It is. And you should bring this up with your spouse a couple of weeks before Easter. You shouldn’t agree to get the plastic and sugar and then flake the night before.

But she doesn’t say that he agreed — just that she nagged. And then she got pissy when he didn’t get the right candy or whatever that she had in mind. Unless she was locked inside during those weeks of nagging, she probably went to at least one store or website that has exactly what she wanted — she just preferred to nag, perhaps in the hopes that he would get as excited about the plastic and sugar as she seems to be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you’re not religious, you have nothing to grouse about. Your husband rightly sees it as just another Sunday. If you want to do stuff, do stuff.

If something optional/extraneous is not important to my husband, of course I don’t expect him to do something about it, and vice versa. Of course that doesn’t go for doing taxes, household chores, taking care of children, but if he’s not into play-acting a religious holiday he doesn’t celebrate, of course I wouldn’t expect him to do anything.

Your expectations are 100% off, OP.

If something optional/extraneous is not important to my husband, of course I don't expect him to CARE ABOUT IT, but I may still expect him to do something to help with it. I don't mind being the driver behind things that I want to do that aren't needed (end-of-school/beginning-of-summer baskets for our kids, for example - those are not important and I do that because I want to and I don't expect him to do anything about it). But certain things like Christmas presents are technically optional/extraneous and I still expect my husband to participate in that. I don't expect him to care - you can't tell someone to change their feelings on something - but I do expect him to do something about it. Where you draw the line is up to you, but if you recall the threads about a kid needing a red sweater for a school holiday performance, some people think that's a need (because they were told their kid had to have it) and others think it's ridiculous and therefore optional. Stuff like that you may both not want to do but parenting is an awful lot of things you don't want to do. On those things, I don't think it's fair for a spouse to say it's not important to them so they're out. Easter baskets/egg hunts are pretty basic things for kids in UMC America (I can't speak for others because that's how I grew up and how I'm raising my kids). Whether or not people are religious, they still do these for their kids, so I think allowing one spouse to just say I think it's dumb so I won't participate is pretty crappy.

Everybody doesn't have to care about everything equally. Specialization can work too. Everyone has different strengths. Maybe OP can tell us what her husband cares about that she doesn't.

That's literally what I said.

No, you want him to do the work anyway. This is not a good use of anyone's time. You do the things you care about and let him focus on the things he cares about. If your marriage is so lopsided because you have a husband who cares about nothing then that's not a problem anyone can fix for you.

It's "work" to buy Easter candy that kids like? Are you for real? Literally, it takes a swing by the grocery store after work. There are aisles of easter goods and candy. Done. She's not asking him to homestead a western territory here.

And yes, sometimes I expect my DH to do things that he "doesn't care about" just like I do. It's called compromise and marriage.

Some of you people are unbelievable.

Are you a SAHMommy? Because some of us are beyond exhausted after work and don't want to "swing by" anywhere.

[Anonymous]

We are not religious. We have never been to church in 17 years of marriage.

Ok.

Been asking husband for two weeks to get candy to fill the eggs for egg hunt for kids. (I got the basket stuff weeks ago.) Waited until 7pm and brought home Pay Days and Hersheys with almonds.

You delegated candy shopping to your husband and he did candy shopping.

As if kids want those. Nothing Easter themed.

If you asked the Hershey Company Pay Day and Hershey marketing deparment, it's absolutely Easter themed.

You get to decide what candy is "Easter themed" when you do the shopping. You delegated that to your husband, remember?

I ran back to store. He was mad I ran back. Said it is stupid to egg hunt because Easter isn’t about bunny’s.

What he meant was: "You don't get to decide how tasks are done when you delegate."

I said if you want it to have more meaning then you can talk to the kids about that or take them to church anytime. I don’t care either way. - I’m happy to celebrate spring with an egg hunt for tradition sake.

You are just hiding candy. You aren't curing cancer.

He refuses to do anything. Even to do it his way.

You literally contradicted yourself.

"[He] brought home Pay Days and Hersheys with almonds."

It just sucks. Our kids are so excited. Been talking all week about it. He is just pouting.

Are they? Or are you embellishing because you want an Easter egg hunt.

At a minimum it is a fun game for the kids. He can’t even enjoy that.

"[He] brought home Pay Days and Hersheys with almonds."

I also asked him to get a gift card for our older child who is a teen. Didn’t even do that. So I’ve got nothing for the teen.

Did he not get the gift card? Or did not get the gift card you wanted him to get by reading your mind?

[Anonymous]

You need to give him more specific directions.

He brought candy home, but you expected a certain type.

I know it is frustrating, but build on his successes and help him hone his parenting skills.

As far as forgetting teen gift: give him a checklist to help him remember it all.

If he commits to a specific task (ie, get gift card from this store in this amount), but fails to fulfill it, he should go out to the store and fix it.

When the holiday goes well, emphasize the family happiness, kid’s excitement. That should reward any loving parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you’re not religious, you have nothing to grouse about. Your husband rightly sees it as just another Sunday. If you want to do stuff, do stuff.

If something optional/extraneous is not important to my husband, of course I don’t expect him to do something about it, and vice versa. Of course that doesn’t go for doing taxes, household chores, taking care of children, but if he’s not into play-acting a religious holiday he doesn’t celebrate, of course I wouldn’t expect him to do anything.

Your expectations are 100% off, OP.

If something optional/extraneous is not important to my husband, of course I don't expect him to CARE ABOUT IT, but I may still expect him to do something to help with it. I don't mind being the driver behind things that I want to do that aren't needed (end-of-school/beginning-of-summer baskets for our kids, for example - those are not important and I do that because I want to and I don't expect him to do anything about it). But certain things like Christmas presents are technically optional/extraneous and I still expect my husband to participate in that. I don't expect him to care - you can't tell someone to change their feelings on something - but I do expect him to do something about it. Where you draw the line is up to you, but if you recall the threads about a kid needing a red sweater for a school holiday performance, some people think that's a need (because they were told their kid had to have it) and others think it's ridiculous and therefore optional. Stuff like that you may both not want to do but parenting is an awful lot of things you don't want to do. On those things, I don't think it's fair for a spouse to say it's not important to them so they're out. Easter baskets/egg hunts are pretty basic things for kids in UMC America (I can't speak for others because that's how I grew up and how I'm raising my kids). Whether or not people are religious, they still do these for their kids, so I think allowing one spouse to just say I think it's dumb so I won't participate is pretty crappy.

Everybody doesn't have to care about everything equally. Specialization can work too. Everyone has different strengths. Maybe OP can tell us what her husband cares about that she doesn't.

That's literally what I said.

No, you want him to do the work anyway. This is not a good use of anyone's time. You do the things you care about and let him focus on the things he cares about. If your marriage is so lopsided because you have a husband who cares about nothing then that's not a problem anyone can fix for you.

It's "work" to buy Easter candy that kids like? Are you for real? Literally, it takes a swing by the grocery store after work. There are aisles of easter goods and candy. Done. She's not asking him to homestead a western territory here.

And yes, sometimes I expect my DH to do things that he "doesn't care about" just like I do. It's called compromise and marriage.

Some of you people are unbelievable.

Are you a SAHMommy? Because some of us are beyond exhausted after work and don't want to "swing by" anywhere.

It is not about what you WANT, it is about what a good parent would do (unselfishly).

Don’t your kids deserve a good parent? A memorable childhood?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you’re not religious, you have nothing to grouse about. Your husband rightly sees it as just another Sunday. If you want to do stuff, do stuff.

If something optional/extraneous is not important to my husband, of course I don’t expect him to do something about it, and vice versa. Of course that doesn’t go for doing taxes, household chores, taking care of children, but if he’s not into play-acting a religious holiday he doesn’t celebrate, of course I wouldn’t expect him to do anything.

Your expectations are 100% off, OP.

If something optional/extraneous is not important to my husband, of course I don't expect him to CARE ABOUT IT, but I may still expect him to do something to help with it. I don't mind being the driver behind things that I want to do that aren't needed (end-of-school/beginning-of-summer baskets for our kids, for example - those are not important and I do that because I want to and I don't expect him to do anything about it). But certain things like Christmas presents are technically optional/extraneous and I still expect my husband to participate in that. I don't expect him to care - you can't tell someone to change their feelings on something - but I do expect him to do something about it. Where you draw the line is up to you, but if you recall the threads about a kid needing a red sweater for a school holiday performance, some people think that's a need (because they were told their kid had to have it) and others think it's ridiculous and therefore optional. Stuff like that you may both not want to do but parenting is an awful lot of things you don't want to do. On those things, I don't think it's fair for a spouse to say it's not important to them so they're out. Easter baskets/egg hunts are pretty basic things for kids in UMC America (I can't speak for others because that's how I grew up and how I'm raising my kids). Whether or not people are religious, they still do these for their kids, so I think allowing one spouse to just say I think it's dumb so I won't participate is pretty crappy.

Everybody doesn't have to care about everything equally. Specialization can work too. Everyone has different strengths. Maybe OP can tell us what her husband cares about that she doesn't.

That's literally what I said.

No, you want him to do the work anyway. This is not a good use of anyone's time. You do the things you care about and let him focus on the things he cares about. If your marriage is so lopsided because you have a husband who cares about nothing then that's not a problem anyone can fix for you.

It's "work" to buy Easter candy that kids like? Are you for real? Literally, it takes a swing by the grocery store after work. There are aisles of easter goods and candy. Done. She's not asking him to homestead a western territory here.

And yes, sometimes I expect my DH to do things that he "doesn't care about" just like I do. It's called compromise and marriage.

Some of you people are unbelievable.

Are you a SAHMommy? Because some of us are beyond exhausted after work and don't want to "swing by" anywhere.

It is not about what you WANT, it is about what a good parent would do (unselfishly).

Don’t your kids deserve a good parent? A memorable childhood?

I’m a good parent so I am going to give my kids lots of chocolate in pastel color wrapping.

[Anonymous]

OP's husband sounds like an old college roommate of mine. Dude would argue endlessly about anything he didn't personally value. No real concept of going along and pitching in just because it made others happy.

Now, I got along with him fine, because he was entertaining to drink with. And I didn't ask anything of him.

His marriage predictably fell apart. Twice. I don't think he sees his kids anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you’re not religious, you have nothing to grouse about. Your husband rightly sees it as just another Sunday. If you want to do stuff, do stuff.

If something optional/extraneous is not important to my husband, of course I don’t expect him to do something about it, and vice versa. Of course that doesn’t go for doing taxes, household chores, taking care of children, but if he’s not into play-acting a religious holiday he doesn’t celebrate, of course I wouldn’t expect him to do anything.

Your expectations are 100% off, OP.

If something optional/extraneous is not important to my husband, of course I don't expect him to CARE ABOUT IT, but I may still expect him to do something to help with it. I don't mind being the driver behind things that I want to do that aren't needed (end-of-school/beginning-of-summer baskets for our kids, for example - those are not important and I do that because I want to and I don't expect him to do anything about it). But certain things like Christmas presents are technically optional/extraneous and I still expect my husband to participate in that. I don't expect him to care - you can't tell someone to change their feelings on something - but I do expect him to do something about it. Where you draw the line is up to you, but if you recall the threads about a kid needing a red sweater for a school holiday performance, some people think that's a need (because they were told their kid had to have it) and others think it's ridiculous and therefore optional. Stuff like that you may both not want to do but parenting is an awful lot of things you don't want to do. On those things, I don't think it's fair for a spouse to say it's not important to them so they're out. Easter baskets/egg hunts are pretty basic things for kids in UMC America (I can't speak for others because that's how I grew up and how I'm raising my kids). Whether or not people are religious, they still do these for their kids, so I think allowing one spouse to just say I think it's dumb so I won't participate is pretty crappy.

Everybody doesn't have to care about everything equally. Specialization can work too. Everyone has different strengths. Maybe OP can tell us what her husband cares about that she doesn't.

That's literally what I said.

No, you want him to do the work anyway. This is not a good use of anyone's time. You do the things you care about and let him focus on the things he cares about. If your marriage is so lopsided because you have a husband who cares about nothing then that's not a problem anyone can fix for you.

It's "work" to buy Easter candy that kids like? Are you for real? Literally, it takes a swing by the grocery store after work. There are aisles of easter goods and candy. Done. She's not asking him to homestead a western territory here.

And yes, sometimes I expect my DH to do things that he "doesn't care about" just like I do. It's called compromise and marriage.

Some of you people are unbelievable.

Are you a SAHMommy? Because some of us are beyond exhausted after work and don't want to "swing by" anywhere.

It is not about what you WANT, it is about what a good parent would do (unselfishly).

Don’t your kids deserve a good parent? A memorable childhood?

Kids who don’t have easter egg hunts don’t have good parents? Some of you are desperately reaching here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you’re not religious, you have nothing to grouse about. Your husband rightly sees it as just another Sunday. If you want to do stuff, do stuff.

If something optional/extraneous is not important to my husband, of course I don’t expect him to do something about it, and vice versa. Of course that doesn’t go for doing taxes, household chores, taking care of children, but if he’s not into play-acting a religious holiday he doesn’t celebrate, of course I wouldn’t expect him to do anything.

Your expectations are 100% off, OP.

If something optional/extraneous is not important to my husband, of course I don't expect him to CARE ABOUT IT, but I may still expect him to do something to help with it. I don't mind being the driver behind things that I want to do that aren't needed (end-of-school/beginning-of-summer baskets for our kids, for example - those are not important and I do that because I want to and I don't expect him to do anything about it). But certain things like Christmas presents are technically optional/extraneous and I still expect my husband to participate in that. I don't expect him to care - you can't tell someone to change their feelings on something - but I do expect him to do something about it. Where you draw the line is up to you, but if you recall the threads about a kid needing a red sweater for a school holiday performance, some people think that's a need (because they were told their kid had to have it) and others think it's ridiculous and therefore optional. Stuff like that you may both not want to do but parenting is an awful lot of things you don't want to do. On those things, I don't think it's fair for a spouse to say it's not important to them so they're out. Easter baskets/egg hunts are pretty basic things for kids in UMC America (I can't speak for others because that's how I grew up and how I'm raising my kids). Whether or not people are religious, they still do these for their kids, so I think allowing one spouse to just say I think it's dumb so I won't participate is pretty crappy.

Everybody doesn't have to care about everything equally. Specialization can work too. Everyone has different strengths. Maybe OP can tell us what her husband cares about that she doesn't.

That's literally what I said.

No, you want him to do the work anyway. This is not a good use of anyone's time. You do the things you care about and let him focus on the things he cares about. If your marriage is so lopsided because you have a husband who cares about nothing then that's not a problem anyone can fix for you.

It's "work" to buy Easter candy that kids like? Are you for real? Literally, it takes a swing by the grocery store after work. There are aisles of easter goods and candy. Done. She's not asking him to homestead a western territory here.

And yes, sometimes I expect my DH to do things that he "doesn't care about" just like I do. It's called compromise and marriage.

Some of you people are unbelievable.

Are you a SAHMommy? Because some of us are beyond exhausted after work and don't want to "swing by" anywhere.

It is not about what you WANT, it is about what a good parent would do (unselfishly).

Don’t your kids deserve a good parent? A memorable childhood?

A good parent doesn't make non sequitur fallacies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are not religious. We have never been to church in 17 years of marriage.

Been asking husband for two weeks to get candy to fill the eggs for egg hunt for kids. (I got the basket stuff weeks ago.) Waited until 7pm and brought home Pay Days and Hersheys with almonds. As if kids want those. Nothing Easter themed.

I ran back to store. He was mad I ran back. Said it is stupid to egg hunt because Easter isn’t about bunny’s.

I said if you want it to have more meaning then you can talk to the kids about that or take them to church anytime. I don’t care either way. - I’m happy to celebrate spring with an egg hunt for tradition sake.

He refuses to do anything. Even to do it his way.

It just sucks. Our kids are so excited. Been talking all week about it. He is just pouting. At a minimum it is a fun game for the kids. He can’t even enjoy that.

I also asked him to get a gift card for our older child who is a teen. Didn’t even do that. So I’ve got nothing for the teen.

You can order candy and gift card online way before Easter next year. If you forget, you can e-gift money or gift cards in 2 minutes and Instacart candy in 2 hours. I would say, buy some candy on sale for next year and always have few Amazon gift cards for kids or as last minute hostess gifts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you’re not religious, you have nothing to grouse about. Your husband rightly sees it as just another Sunday. If you want to do stuff, do stuff.

If something optional/extraneous is not important to my husband, of course I don’t expect him to do something about it, and vice versa. Of course that doesn’t go for doing taxes, household chores, taking care of children, but if he’s not into play-acting a religious holiday he doesn’t celebrate, of course I wouldn’t expect him to do anything.

Your expectations are 100% off, OP.

If something optional/extraneous is not important to my husband, of course I don't expect him to CARE ABOUT IT, but I may still expect him to do something to help with it. I don't mind being the driver behind things that I want to do that aren't needed (end-of-school/beginning-of-summer baskets for our kids, for example - those are not important and I do that because I want to and I don't expect him to do anything about it). But certain things like Christmas presents are technically optional/extraneous and I still expect my husband to participate in that. I don't expect him to care - you can't tell someone to change their feelings on something - but I do expect him to do something about it. Where you draw the line is up to you, but if you recall the threads about a kid needing a red sweater for a school holiday performance, some people think that's a need (because they were told their kid had to have it) and others think it's ridiculous and therefore optional. Stuff like that you may both not want to do but parenting is an awful lot of things you don't want to do. On those things, I don't think it's fair for a spouse to say it's not important to them so they're out. Easter baskets/egg hunts are pretty basic things for kids in UMC America (I can't speak for others because that's how I grew up and how I'm raising my kids). Whether or not people are religious, they still do these for their kids, so I think allowing one spouse to just say I think it's dumb so I won't participate is pretty crappy.

Everybody doesn't have to care about everything equally. Specialization can work too. Everyone has different strengths. Maybe OP can tell us what her husband cares about that she doesn't.

That's literally what I said.

No, you want him to do the work anyway. This is not a good use of anyone's time. You do the things you care about and let him focus on the things he cares about. If your marriage is so lopsided because you have a husband who cares about nothing then that's not a problem anyone can fix for you.

It's "work" to buy Easter candy that kids like? Are you for real? Literally, it takes a swing by the grocery store after work. There are aisles of easter goods and candy. Done. She's not asking him to homestead a western territory here.

And yes, sometimes I expect my DH to do things that he "doesn't care about" just like I do. It's called compromise and marriage.

Some of you people are unbelievable.

Are you a SAHMommy? Because some of us are beyond exhausted after work and don't want to "swing by" anywhere.

It is not about what you WANT, it is about what a good parent would do (unselfishly).

Don’t your kids deserve a good parent? A memorable childhood?

Kids who don’t have easter egg hunts don’t have good parents? Some of you are desperately reaching here.

This^. Stay relaxed and all go out for fast food and kids would still have fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Weaponized incompetence at its finest.

Agree.

And also, it’s OK to not do Easter eggs and candy. There are other ways to make holidays meaningful without plastic and sugar.

It is. And you should bring this up with your spouse a couple of weeks before Easter. You shouldn’t agree to get the plastic and sugar and then flake the night before.

But she doesn’t say that he agreed — just that she nagged. And then she got pissy when he didn’t get the right candy or whatever that she had in mind. Unless she was locked inside during those weeks of nagging, she probably went to at least one store or website that has exactly what she wanted — she just preferred to nag, perhaps in the hopes that he would get as excited about the plastic and sugar as she seems to be.

But he should want to care about the right kind of plastic and sugar. If not for her, then think of the children!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you’re not religious, you have nothing to grouse about. Your husband rightly sees it as just another Sunday. If you want to do stuff, do stuff.

If something optional/extraneous is not important to my husband, of course I don’t expect him to do something about it, and vice versa. Of course that doesn’t go for doing taxes, household chores, taking care of children, but if he’s not into play-acting a religious holiday he doesn’t celebrate, of course I wouldn’t expect him to do anything.

Your expectations are 100% off, OP.

If something optional/extraneous is not important to my husband, of course I don't expect him to CARE ABOUT IT, but I may still expect him to do something to help with it. I don't mind being the driver behind things that I want to do that aren't needed (end-of-school/beginning-of-summer baskets for our kids, for example - those are not important and I do that because I want to and I don't expect him to do anything about it). But certain things like Christmas presents are technically optional/extraneous and I still expect my husband to participate in that. I don't expect him to care - you can't tell someone to change their feelings on something - but I do expect him to do something about it. Where you draw the line is up to you, but if you recall the threads about a kid needing a red sweater for a school holiday performance, some people think that's a need (because they were told their kid had to have it) and others think it's ridiculous and therefore optional. Stuff like that you may both not want to do but parenting is an awful lot of things you don't want to do. On those things, I don't think it's fair for a spouse to say it's not important to them so they're out. Easter baskets/egg hunts are pretty basic things for kids in UMC America (I can't speak for others because that's how I grew up and how I'm raising my kids). Whether or not people are religious, they still do these for their kids, so I think allowing one spouse to just say I think it's dumb so I won't participate is pretty crappy.

LOL, nope. Not if it’s celebrating a religious holiday when you are not a part of that religion.

All of a sudden, if my husband told me we were going to make a big, effort-filled expensive Dwali celebration, I’d tell him to go for it and have fun but I’m not doing that.

Dumb comparison. Secular Easter celebrations, like secular Christmas celebrations are established annual rituals for a large percentage of American families. Nothing like deciding out of the blue to celebrate a new holiday that has nothing to do with family traditions.

They really aren’t though.

Not prior poster, but what the hell do you even mean?

PP said large percentage of Americans celebrate secular Easter. It is not true a that large percentage of Americans celebrate Easter as a purely secular holiday as OP wishes to do.

...it really is, though. Everyone I know who is a secular "Christian" (as in, not specifically of another religion, and whose relatives and/or ancestors are/ were Christian) does Easter baskets. Only about 20% of people I know who fit under the "Christian" umbrella attend church on Easter. And since Easter really is the Big Show in terms of importance in Christianity... I can only assume those people are not religious at all. But they still do Easter baskets and Easter brunch. It's incredibly common. Just like celebrating Christmas with a tree and gifts as a secular Christian without attending church.

Another person who refuses to look out from their own little world view. Let me guess - you’ve never actually looked up the stats but decided your own experience is sufficient to tell you about how Americans spend Easter?

DP. Google says 13% of Americans celebrate a purely secular Easter, while another 19% celebrate both religious and secular Easter traditions. So we have about 1/3 of Americans presumably doing something similar to OP with baskets and eggs. That is indeed a large percentage, not that this pedantic argument has anything to do with OP’s failure to plan or her DH’s inability to follow through competently on what seems to have been a tradition for their family since their teen was young. The fact that other families view Easter as an important religious holiday has absolutely nothing to do with OP’s situation, regardless of the percentages involved.

What was the religious part of OP’s day? She’s in the 13%.

Religion is utterly unimportant to this question. Again, the percentages are beside the point, but she is in the 32% of people (or much higher percent if she lives in a neighborhood of the sort most DCUM posters come from) who have been giving their kids Easter baskets and arranging egg hunts since they were born. Family traditions are important to kids, and both OP and her DH screwed this one up.

I am the person you are responding to. It was said in this discussion that a majority of Americans celebrate secular Easter and that it is standard UMC fare. I suggested people look up the percentages because I knew that was bunk. (13% is small minority).

Thank you for showing it’s bunk but you knew you needed to peddle a different than direction, so decided to lump non-religious OP in with those who celebrate a combined secular and non secular Easter. Why? That’s not OP. Because OP’s neighbors celebrating religiously, she should be included in that percentage? Nonsense.

You know that it’s nonsense which is why you have shifted the argument entirely and say it’s about the family tradition. One member of the household doesn’t unilaterally set family tradition, particularly when the oldest kid is a teen. Traditions should bring joy to the whole house, which this most certainly does not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Weaponized incompetence at its finest.

Agree.

And also, it’s OK to not do Easter eggs and candy. There are other ways to make holidays meaningful without plastic and sugar.

It is. And you should bring this up with your spouse a couple of weeks before Easter. You shouldn’t agree to get the plastic and sugar and then flake the night before.

But she doesn’t say that he agreed — just that she nagged. And then she got pissy when he didn’t get the right candy or whatever that she had in mind. Unless she was locked inside during those weeks of nagging, she probably went to at least one store or website that has exactly what she wanted — she just preferred to nag, perhaps in the hopes that he would get as excited about the plastic and sugar as she seems to be.

I think the OP is a troll, but come on. He doesn’t have some principled reason that he explained to his wife weeks ago.