Can’t get husband to help with Easter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:F the patriarchy and the expectation that I work FT and handle every family obligation and holiday.

To those who say don’t do it, well you’re depriving your kids of normal holiday rituals. You’ll also be sacrificing your marriage since the societal expectation is that as a woman you create a nice home life. If you don’t go along with this, you’ll struggle to have friends and your DH might replace you.

It’s a scam and the only solution is to NOT HAVE CHILDREN, which plenty of young women have realized.

If Easter was important to me I would have married a Christian man who wanted to celebrate it. I don't get upset about not celebrating holidays that mean nothing to me and I don't raise my kids with expectations that they will receive gifts for holidays we don't celebrate.

Then this post isn’t for you. You don’t celebrate Easter.

DP This post does raise the topic of whether celebrating Easter a certain way is a requirement for being a good parent.

Specifically:

Easter themed candy (as determined by one spouse) = good parenting
Non-Easter themed candy (as determined by one spouse) = bad parenting

This is on a relationship site. It isn’t about parenting.
Even if they weren’t his kids, and a neighbor asked him to pick up candy to fill Easter eggs with, it would be weird for him to wait two weeks, give them random candy from the checkout counter, and be pissed if they didn’t use it.

But would OP still be complaining about her husband if it weren't for his failure to provide them with the Instagram worthy Easter egg hunt that OP has decided single handedly they deserve?

Like if OP asked her neighbor to pick up some candy to fill eggs with, and he waited two weeks, gave her candy from the checkout counter, and was mad that she didn’t use it?

I think she would probably feel like he was a weird dude and annoyed that he was mad.

I doubt that she would be looking to date him.

The neighbor scenario is stupid, not talking about that. Just generally. if you don't get your kids the "good" candy for a religious holiday none of you celebrate, does that make him a bad husband or just a bad dad? OPs argument is he's a bad dad for not doing this b/c it's the kids who have been whipped up into a frenzy over this by, presumably, OP. Does that make him a bad husband?

I think that not getting your wife the candy she asked for makes you a bad husband.

What about if the husband disagreed and voiced his disapproval? He should just cave and do as she demands? Why doesn't that make her a bad wife?

BUT HE DIDN'T. He waited until the last minute and then got crappy candy and then got mad at OP for going to get candy their kids would like. He didn't voice his frustrations with the Easter baskets/eggs until later.

What candy do you prefer?

We'd like to judge your crap preferences.

Who cares what kind of candy I like? I know what kind of candy my kids like (and don't like), as does my husband. Whether you would think they're good doesn't matter to me.

For what it's worth, my kids like these chocolate truffle candies, so that's what they got in their Easter baskets. It wasn't Easter-themed, it's packaged the same way all year, but it's what they wanted. OP's point was that her kids didn't want what he got them. Who cares if someone's kid loves PayDays - that's not the point.

It mattes if OPs kids like PayDays. This was not clear in OPs post. There is no basis to assume the kids consider this "crap" candy.

I don’t even understand how you put PayDays in those little plastic eggs. OP said she already got thr stuff for the baskets.
Are they mini pay days? Do you have to unwrap them and cut them up?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:F the patriarchy and the expectation that I work FT and handle every family obligation and holiday.

To those who say don’t do it, well you’re depriving your kids of normal holiday rituals. You’ll also be sacrificing your marriage since the societal expectation is that as a woman you create a nice home life. If you don’t go along with this, you’ll struggle to have friends and your DH might replace you.

It’s a scam and the only solution is to NOT HAVE CHILDREN, which plenty of young women have realized.

If Easter was important to me I would have married a Christian man who wanted to celebrate it. I don't get upset about not celebrating holidays that mean nothing to me and I don't raise my kids with expectations that they will receive gifts for holidays we don't celebrate.

Then this post isn’t for you. You don’t celebrate Easter.

DP This post does raise the topic of whether celebrating Easter a certain way is a requirement for being a good parent.

Specifically:

Easter themed candy (as determined by one spouse) = good parenting
Non-Easter themed candy (as determined by one spouse) = bad parenting

This is on a relationship site. It isn’t about parenting.
Even if they weren’t his kids, and a neighbor asked him to pick up candy to fill Easter eggs with, it would be weird for him to wait two weeks, give them random candy from the checkout counter, and be pissed if they didn’t use it.

But would OP still be complaining about her husband if it weren't for his failure to provide them with the Instagram worthy Easter egg hunt that OP has decided single handedly they deserve?

Like if OP asked her neighbor to pick up some candy to fill eggs with, and he waited two weeks, gave her candy from the checkout counter, and was mad that she didn’t use it?

I think she would probably feel like he was a weird dude and annoyed that he was mad.

I doubt that she would be looking to date him.

The neighbor scenario is stupid, not talking about that. Just generally. if you don't get your kids the "good" candy for a religious holiday none of you celebrate, does that make him a bad husband or just a bad dad? OPs argument is he's a bad dad for not doing this b/c it's the kids who have been whipped up into a frenzy over this by, presumably, OP. Does that make him a bad husband?

I think that not getting your wife the candy she asked for makes you a bad husband.

What about if the husband disagreed and voiced his disapproval? He should just cave and do as she demands? Why doesn't that make her a bad wife?

BUT HE DIDN'T. He waited until the last minute and then got crappy candy and then got mad at OP for going to get candy their kids would like. He didn't voice his frustrations with the Easter baskets/eggs until later.

What candy do you prefer?

We'd like to judge your crap preferences.

Who cares what kind of candy I like? I know what kind of candy my kids like (and don't like), as does my husband. Whether you would think they're good doesn't matter to me.

For what it's worth, my kids like these chocolate truffle candies, so that's what they got in their Easter baskets. It wasn't Easter-themed, it's packaged the same way all year, but it's what they wanted. OP's point was that her kids didn't want what he got them. Who cares if someone's kid loves PayDays - that's not the point.

It mattes if OPs kids like PayDays. This was not clear in OPs post. There is no basis to assume the kids consider this "crap" candy.

I don’t even understand how you put PayDays in those little plastic eggs. OP said she already got thr stuff for the baskets.
Are they mini pay days? Do you have to unwrap them and cut them up?

So this is a legitimate observation. The candy brand is a nonissue. The size of the candy relative to the eggs has at least some legitimacy.

If you are team OP, they are the wrong size.
If you are team DH, the candy is perhaps mini or the eggs are large.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:F the patriarchy and the expectation that I work FT and handle every family obligation and holiday.

To those who say don’t do it, well you’re depriving your kids of normal holiday rituals. You’ll also be sacrificing your marriage since the societal expectation is that as a woman you create a nice home life. If you don’t go along with this, you’ll struggle to have friends and your DH might replace you.

It’s a scam and the only solution is to NOT HAVE CHILDREN, which plenty of young women have realized.

If Easter was important to me I would have married a Christian man who wanted to celebrate it. I don't get upset about not celebrating holidays that mean nothing to me and I don't raise my kids with expectations that they will receive gifts for holidays we don't celebrate.

Then this post isn’t for you. You don’t celebrate Easter.

DP This post does raise the topic of whether celebrating Easter a certain way is a requirement for being a good parent.

Specifically:

Easter themed candy (as determined by one spouse) = good parenting
Non-Easter themed candy (as determined by one spouse) = bad parenting

This is on a relationship site. It isn’t about parenting.
Even if they weren’t his kids, and a neighbor asked him to pick up candy to fill Easter eggs with, it would be weird for him to wait two weeks, give them random candy from the checkout counter, and be pissed if they didn’t use it.

But would OP still be complaining about her husband if it weren't for his failure to provide them with the Instagram worthy Easter egg hunt that OP has decided single handedly they deserve?

Like if OP asked her neighbor to pick up some candy to fill eggs with, and he waited two weeks, gave her candy from the checkout counter, and was mad that she didn’t use it?

I think she would probably feel like he was a weird dude and annoyed that he was mad.

I doubt that she would be looking to date him.

The neighbor scenario is stupid, not talking about that. Just generally. if you don't get your kids the "good" candy for a religious holiday none of you celebrate, does that make him a bad husband or just a bad dad? OPs argument is he's a bad dad for not doing this b/c it's the kids who have been whipped up into a frenzy over this by, presumably, OP. Does that make him a bad husband?

I think that not getting your wife the candy she asked for makes you a bad husband.

What about if the husband disagreed and voiced his disapproval? He should just cave and do as she demands? Why doesn't that make her a bad wife?

BUT HE DIDN'T. He waited until the last minute and then got crappy candy and then got mad at OP for going to get candy their kids would like. He didn't voice his frustrations with the Easter baskets/eggs until later.

What candy do you prefer?

We'd like to judge your crap preferences.

Who cares what kind of candy I like? I know what kind of candy my kids like (and don't like), as does my husband. Whether you would think they're good doesn't matter to me.

For what it's worth, my kids like these chocolate truffle candies, so that's what they got in their Easter baskets. It wasn't Easter-themed, it's packaged the same way all year, but it's what they wanted. OP's point was that her kids didn't want what he got them. Who cares if someone's kid loves PayDays - that's not the point.

It mattes if OPs kids like PayDays. This was not clear in OPs post. There is no basis to assume the kids consider this "crap" candy.

I don’t even understand how you put PayDays in those little plastic eggs. OP said she already got thr stuff for the baskets.
Are they mini pay days? Do you have to unwrap them and cut them up?

So this is a legitimate observation. The candy brand is a nonissue. The size of the candy relative to the eggs has at least some legitimacy.

If you are team OP, they are the wrong size.
If you are team DH, the candy is perhaps mini or the eggs are large.

I would think those little fun size ones would fit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:F the patriarchy and the expectation that I work FT and handle every family obligation and holiday.

To those who say don’t do it, well you’re depriving your kids of normal holiday rituals. You’ll also be sacrificing your marriage since the societal expectation is that as a woman you create a nice home life. If you don’t go along with this, you’ll struggle to have friends and your DH might replace you.

It’s a scam and the only solution is to NOT HAVE CHILDREN, which plenty of young women have realized.

If Easter was important to me I would have married a Christian man who wanted to celebrate it. I don't get upset about not celebrating holidays that mean nothing to me and I don't raise my kids with expectations that they will receive gifts for holidays we don't celebrate.

Then this post isn’t for you. You don’t celebrate Easter.

DP This post does raise the topic of whether celebrating Easter a certain way is a requirement for being a good parent.

Specifically:

Easter themed candy (as determined by one spouse) = good parenting
Non-Easter themed candy (as determined by one spouse) = bad parenting

This is on a relationship site. It isn’t about parenting.
Even if they weren’t his kids, and a neighbor asked him to pick up candy to fill Easter eggs with, it would be weird for him to wait two weeks, give them random candy from the checkout counter, and be pissed if they didn’t use it.

But would OP still be complaining about her husband if it weren't for his failure to provide them with the Instagram worthy Easter egg hunt that OP has decided single handedly they deserve?

Like if OP asked her neighbor to pick up some candy to fill eggs with, and he waited two weeks, gave her candy from the checkout counter, and was mad that she didn’t use it?

I think she would probably feel like he was a weird dude and annoyed that he was mad.

I doubt that she would be looking to date him.

The neighbor scenario is stupid, not talking about that. Just generally. if you don't get your kids the "good" candy for a religious holiday none of you celebrate, does that make him a bad husband or just a bad dad? OPs argument is he's a bad dad for not doing this b/c it's the kids who have been whipped up into a frenzy over this by, presumably, OP. Does that make him a bad husband?

I think that not getting your wife the candy she asked for makes you a bad husband.

What about if the husband disagreed and voiced his disapproval? He should just cave and do as she demands? Why doesn't that make her a bad wife?

BUT HE DIDN'T. He waited until the last minute and then got crappy candy and then got mad at OP for going to get candy their kids would like. He didn't voice his frustrations with the Easter baskets/eggs until later.

What candy do you prefer?

We'd like to judge your crap preferences.

Who cares what kind of candy I like? I know what kind of candy my kids like (and don't like), as does my husband. Whether you would think they're good doesn't matter to me.

For what it's worth, my kids like these chocolate truffle candies, so that's what they got in their Easter baskets. It wasn't Easter-themed, it's packaged the same way all year, but it's what they wanted. OP's point was that her kids didn't want what he got them. Who cares if someone's kid loves PayDays - that's not the point.

It mattes if OPs kids like PayDays. This was not clear in OPs post. There is no basis to assume the kids consider this "crap" candy.

I don’t even understand how you put PayDays in those little plastic eggs. OP said she already got thr stuff for the baskets.
Are they mini pay days? Do you have to unwrap them and cut them up?

So this is a legitimate observation. The candy brand is a nonissue. The size of the candy relative to the eggs has at least some legitimacy.

If you are team OP, they are the wrong size.
If you are team DH, the candy is perhaps mini or the eggs are large.

“Why are you crying Larlo?”

“<sob> My chocolate bar…”

“What about it?”

“It’s…it’s …<sobs>”

“What, honey?”

“IT’S TOO BIG!!!”

“That’s because your father is a monster, dear.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:F the patriarchy and the expectation that I work FT and handle every family obligation and holiday.

To those who say don’t do it, well you’re depriving your kids of normal holiday rituals. You’ll also be sacrificing your marriage since the societal expectation is that as a woman you create a nice home life. If you don’t go along with this, you’ll struggle to have friends and your DH might replace you.

It’s a scam and the only solution is to NOT HAVE CHILDREN, which plenty of young women have realized.

If Easter was important to me I would have married a Christian man who wanted to celebrate it. I don't get upset about not celebrating holidays that mean nothing to me and I don't raise my kids with expectations that they will receive gifts for holidays we don't celebrate.

Then this post isn’t for you. You don’t celebrate Easter.

DP This post does raise the topic of whether celebrating Easter a certain way is a requirement for being a good parent.

Specifically:

Easter themed candy (as determined by one spouse) = good parenting
Non-Easter themed candy (as determined by one spouse) = bad parenting

This is on a relationship site. It isn’t about parenting.
Even if they weren’t his kids, and a neighbor asked him to pick up candy to fill Easter eggs with, it would be weird for him to wait two weeks, give them random candy from the checkout counter, and be pissed if they didn’t use it.

But would OP still be complaining about her husband if it weren't for his failure to provide them with the Instagram worthy Easter egg hunt that OP has decided single handedly they deserve?

Like if OP asked her neighbor to pick up some candy to fill eggs with, and he waited two weeks, gave her candy from the checkout counter, and was mad that she didn’t use it?

I think she would probably feel like he was a weird dude and annoyed that he was mad.

I doubt that she would be looking to date him.

The neighbor scenario is stupid, not talking about that. Just generally. if you don't get your kids the "good" candy for a religious holiday none of you celebrate, does that make him a bad husband or just a bad dad? OPs argument is he's a bad dad for not doing this b/c it's the kids who have been whipped up into a frenzy over this by, presumably, OP. Does that make him a bad husband?

I think that not getting your wife the candy she asked for makes you a bad husband.

What about if the husband disagreed and voiced his disapproval? He should just cave and do as she demands? Why doesn't that make her a bad wife?

BUT HE DIDN'T. He waited until the last minute and then got crappy candy and then got mad at OP for going to get candy their kids would like. He didn't voice his frustrations with the Easter baskets/eggs until later.

What candy do you prefer?

We'd like to judge your crap preferences.

Who cares what kind of candy I like? I know what kind of candy my kids like (and don't like), as does my husband. Whether you would think they're good doesn't matter to me.

For what it's worth, my kids like these chocolate truffle candies, so that's what they got in their Easter baskets. It wasn't Easter-themed, it's packaged the same way all year, but it's what they wanted. OP's point was that her kids didn't want what he got them. Who cares if someone's kid loves PayDays - that's not the point.

It mattes if OPs kids like PayDays. This was not clear in OPs post. There is no basis to assume the kids consider this "crap" candy.

I don’t even understand how you put PayDays in those little plastic eggs. OP said she already got thr stuff for the baskets.
Are they mini pay days? Do you have to unwrap them and cut them up?

So this is a legitimate observation. The candy brand is a nonissue. The size of the candy relative to the eggs has at least some legitimacy.

If you are team OP, they are the wrong size.
If you are team DH, the candy is perhaps mini or the eggs are large.

“Why are you crying Larlo?”

“<sob> My chocolate bar…”

“What about it?”

“It’s…it’s …<sobs>”

“What, honey?”

“IT’S TOO BIG!!!”

“That’s because your father is a monster, dear.”

Honestly though, I'd hide a mini egg and an oversize chocolate bar in the same spot - if this was even the case.

Then if I need to discuss the choice of candy it would be discussed and resolved without conflict because we are adults with children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:F the patriarchy and the expectation that I work FT and handle every family obligation and holiday.

To those who say don’t do it, well you’re depriving your kids of normal holiday rituals. You’ll also be sacrificing your marriage since the societal expectation is that as a woman you create a nice home life. If you don’t go along with this, you’ll struggle to have friends and your DH might replace you.

It’s a scam and the only solution is to NOT HAVE CHILDREN, which plenty of young women have realized.

If Easter was important to me I would have married a Christian man who wanted to celebrate it. I don't get upset about not celebrating holidays that mean nothing to me and I don't raise my kids with expectations that they will receive gifts for holidays we don't celebrate.

Then this post isn’t for you. You don’t celebrate Easter.

DP This post does raise the topic of whether celebrating Easter a certain way is a requirement for being a good parent.

Specifically:

Easter themed candy (as determined by one spouse) = good parenting
Non-Easter themed candy (as determined by one spouse) = bad parenting

This is on a relationship site. It isn’t about parenting.
Even if they weren’t his kids, and a neighbor asked him to pick up candy to fill Easter eggs with, it would be weird for him to wait two weeks, give them random candy from the checkout counter, and be pissed if they didn’t use it.

But would OP still be complaining about her husband if it weren't for his failure to provide them with the Instagram worthy Easter egg hunt that OP has decided single handedly they deserve?

Like if OP asked her neighbor to pick up some candy to fill eggs with, and he waited two weeks, gave her candy from the checkout counter, and was mad that she didn’t use it?

I think she would probably feel like he was a weird dude and annoyed that he was mad.

I doubt that she would be looking to date him.

The neighbor scenario is stupid, not talking about that. Just generally. if you don't get your kids the "good" candy for a religious holiday none of you celebrate, does that make him a bad husband or just a bad dad? OPs argument is he's a bad dad for not doing this b/c it's the kids who have been whipped up into a frenzy over this by, presumably, OP. Does that make him a bad husband?

I think that not getting your wife the candy she asked for makes you a bad husband.

What about if the husband disagreed and voiced his disapproval? He should just cave and do as she demands? Why doesn't that make her a bad wife?

BUT HE DIDN'T. He waited until the last minute and then got crappy candy and then got mad at OP for going to get candy their kids would like. He didn't voice his frustrations with the Easter baskets/eggs until later.

What candy do you prefer?

We'd like to judge your crap preferences.

Who cares what kind of candy I like? I know what kind of candy my kids like (and don't like), as does my husband. Whether you would think they're good doesn't matter to me.

For what it's worth, my kids like these chocolate truffle candies, so that's what they got in their Easter baskets. It wasn't Easter-themed, it's packaged the same way all year, but it's what they wanted. OP's point was that her kids didn't want what he got them. Who cares if someone's kid loves PayDays - that's not the point.

It mattes if OPs kids like PayDays. This was not clear in OPs post. There is no basis to assume the kids consider this "crap" candy.

This is what OP said:

Waited until 7pm and brought home Pay Days and Hersheys with almonds. As if kids want those.

Seems pretty clear to me. I imagine she knows what kind of candy her kids would like. I do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. It would never occur to me to ask DH to get stuff to fill the Easter eggs. Just like he'd never ask me to cut the grass, detail the car or call someone for a home repair. My territory is planning fun activities for the kids, throwing their parties, stuffing their stockings, hiding the elf, getting them all gifts for all holidays/birthdays. I'm good at it and I enjoy it. If I asked DH to do it, he might try, but I wouldn't trust him not to fail miserably just like your DH did. It would not shock me if he brought Paydays and almond chocolate rather than high end foil wrapped eggs. He would just have no clue.

This seems silly to get mad about. Just embrace your stuff and have him do what he's good at.

There was an update. He does the shopping. He didn’t accidentally get the wrong thing. He knew what she wanted and didn’t get it in order to prove a point.

He knew she wanted Easter candy.

The debate around that is whether or not a Hershey bar qualifies as Easter candy, and who has the Authority to make this determination for the rest of us.

He knew she wanted candy her kids would like. Whether or not your kids like Hershey's with almonds is a moot point. My kid likes Mounds bars. I think they're disgusting but I'd still get them for her.

Where did OP specify what candy the kids said they prefer, other than 'easter candy'?

A parent should know what kind of candy their kids like. My husband did the stockings this year because he knows what we all want. It's not that high of a bar.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s the problem? He got the candy. Men don’t normally focus on the small details, like what kind of candy the kids would like, or things like that.

Then you're a pathetic excuse for a man.

I’m not a man. This is just true. Most men don’t even know basic information about their children, and it’s not great.

Ok, so then is your husband a pathetic excuse for a man? I wouldn't be married to someone who didn't know basic information about their kids.

[Anonymous]

Can this thread end? Easter is over. Did you get a divorce OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. It would never occur to me to ask DH to get stuff to fill the Easter eggs. Just like he'd never ask me to cut the grass, detail the car or call someone for a home repair. My territory is planning fun activities for the kids, throwing their parties, stuffing their stockings, hiding the elf, getting them all gifts for all holidays/birthdays. I'm good at it and I enjoy it. If I asked DH to do it, he might try, but I wouldn't trust him not to fail miserably just like your DH did. It would not shock me if he brought Paydays and almond chocolate rather than high end foil wrapped eggs. He would just have no clue.

This seems silly to get mad about. Just embrace your stuff and have him do what he's good at.

There was an update. He does the shopping. He didn’t accidentally get the wrong thing. He knew what she wanted and didn’t get it in order to prove a point.

He knew she wanted Easter candy.

The debate around that is whether or not a Hershey bar qualifies as Easter candy, and who has the Authority to make this determination for the rest of us.

He knew she wanted candy her kids would like. Whether or not your kids like Hershey's with almonds is a moot point. My kid likes Mounds bars. I think they're disgusting but I'd still get them for her.

Where did OP specify what candy the kids said they prefer, other than 'easter candy'?

A parent should know what kind of candy their kids like. My husband did the stockings this year because he knows what we all want. It's not that high of a bar.

It's not that serious. My kids like different candy. Some like sour and some don't. One wants only chocolate the others want gummies. So if we fill eggs with candy they don't necessarily get their preferred candy. They don't care that much either way and they can trade if they don't like it or just give it to me because sometimes I put in the kind I like too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. It would never occur to me to ask DH to get stuff to fill the Easter eggs. Just like he'd never ask me to cut the grass, detail the car or call someone for a home repair. My territory is planning fun activities for the kids, throwing their parties, stuffing their stockings, hiding the elf, getting them all gifts for all holidays/birthdays. I'm good at it and I enjoy it. If I asked DH to do it, he might try, but I wouldn't trust him not to fail miserably just like your DH did. It would not shock me if he brought Paydays and almond chocolate rather than high end foil wrapped eggs. He would just have no clue.

This seems silly to get mad about. Just embrace your stuff and have him do what he's good at.

There was an update. He does the shopping. He didn’t accidentally get the wrong thing. He knew what she wanted and didn’t get it in order to prove a point.

He knew she wanted Easter candy.

The debate around that is whether or not a Hershey bar qualifies as Easter candy, and who has the Authority to make this determination for the rest of us.

He knew she wanted candy her kids would like. Whether or not your kids like Hershey's with almonds is a moot point. My kid likes Mounds bars. I think they're disgusting but I'd still get them for her.

Where did OP specify what candy the kids said they prefer, other than 'easter candy'?

A parent should know what kind of candy their kids like. My husband did the stockings this year because he knows what we all want. It's not that high of a bar.

Agree, Dad needs to know. Next time Dad needs to ask them directly. Mom would rather keep this information to herself: to see if he knows, or can guess, or whatever game she is playing. Dad needs to ask directly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:F the patriarchy and the expectation that I work FT and handle every family obligation and holiday.

To those who say don’t do it, well you’re depriving your kids of normal holiday rituals. You’ll also be sacrificing your marriage since the societal expectation is that as a woman you create a nice home life. If you don’t go along with this, you’ll struggle to have friends and your DH might replace you.

It’s a scam and the only solution is to NOT HAVE CHILDREN, which plenty of young women have realized.

If Easter was important to me I would have married a Christian man who wanted to celebrate it. I don't get upset about not celebrating holidays that mean nothing to me and I don't raise my kids with expectations that they will receive gifts for holidays we don't celebrate.

Then this post isn’t for you. You don’t celebrate Easter.

DP This post does raise the topic of whether celebrating Easter a certain way is a requirement for being a good parent.

Specifically:

Easter themed candy (as determined by one spouse) = good parenting
Non-Easter themed candy (as determined by one spouse) = bad parenting

This is on a relationship site. It isn’t about parenting.
Even if they weren’t his kids, and a neighbor asked him to pick up candy to fill Easter eggs with, it would be weird for him to wait two weeks, give them random candy from the checkout counter, and be pissed if they didn’t use it.

But would OP still be complaining about her husband if it weren't for his failure to provide them with the Instagram worthy Easter egg hunt that OP has decided single handedly they deserve?

Like if OP asked her neighbor to pick up some candy to fill eggs with, and he waited two weeks, gave her candy from the checkout counter, and was mad that she didn’t use it?

I think she would probably feel like he was a weird dude and annoyed that he was mad.

I doubt that she would be looking to date him.

The neighbor scenario is stupid, not talking about that. Just generally. if you don't get your kids the "good" candy for a religious holiday none of you celebrate, does that make him a bad husband or just a bad dad? OPs argument is he's a bad dad for not doing this b/c it's the kids who have been whipped up into a frenzy over this by, presumably, OP. Does that make him a bad husband?

I think that not getting your wife the candy she asked for makes you a bad husband.

What about if the husband disagreed and voiced his disapproval? He should just cave and do as she demands? Why doesn't that make her a bad wife?

BUT HE DIDN'T. He waited until the last minute and then got crappy candy and then got mad at OP for going to get candy their kids would like. He didn't voice his frustrations with the Easter baskets/eggs until later.

What candy do you prefer?

We'd like to judge your crap preferences.

Who cares what kind of candy I like? I know what kind of candy my kids like (and don't like), as does my husband. Whether you would think they're good doesn't matter to me.

For what it's worth, my kids like these chocolate truffle candies, so that's what they got in their Easter baskets. It wasn't Easter-themed, it's packaged the same way all year, but it's what they wanted. OP's point was that her kids didn't want what he got them. Who cares if someone's kid loves PayDays - that's not the point.

It mattes if OPs kids like PayDays. This was not clear in OPs post. There is no basis to assume the kids consider this "crap" candy.

This is what OP said:

Waited until 7pm and brought home Pay Days and Hersheys with almonds. As if kids want those.

Seems pretty clear to me. I imagine she knows what kind of candy her kids would like. I do.

What kind of candy do your kinds like?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:NP. It would never occur to me to ask DH to get stuff to fill the Easter eggs. Just like he'd never ask me to cut the grass, detail the car or call someone for a home repair. My territory is planning fun activities for the kids, throwing their parties, stuffing their stockings, hiding the elf, getting them all gifts for all holidays/birthdays. I'm good at it and I enjoy it. If I asked DH to do it, he might try, but I wouldn't trust him not to fail miserably just like your DH did. It would not shock me if he brought Paydays and almond chocolate rather than high end foil wrapped eggs. He would just have no clue.

This seems silly to get mad about. Just embrace your stuff and have him do what he's good at.

There was an update. He does the shopping. He didn’t accidentally get the wrong thing. He knew what she wanted and didn’t get it in order to prove a point.

He knew she wanted Easter candy.

The debate around that is whether or not a Hershey bar qualifies as Easter candy, and who has the Authority to make this determination for the rest of us.

He knew she wanted candy her kids would like. Whether or not your kids like Hershey's with almonds is a moot point. My kid likes Mounds bars. I think they're disgusting but I'd still get them for her.

Where did OP specify what candy the kids said they prefer, other than 'easter candy'?

A parent should know what kind of candy their kids like. My husband did the stockings this year because he knows what we all want. It's not that high of a bar.

This is a really dumb test. My husband is an excellent very involved father and I'm sure he has no idea what type of candy each of our kids likes. I think all of you are just trying really hard to be unhappy.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:F the patriarchy and the expectation that I work FT and handle every family obligation and holiday.

To those who say don’t do it, well you’re depriving your kids of normal holiday rituals. You’ll also be sacrificing your marriage since the societal expectation is that as a woman you create a nice home life. If you don’t go along with this, you’ll struggle to have friends and your DH might replace you.

It’s a scam and the only solution is to NOT HAVE CHILDREN, which plenty of young women have realized.

If Easter was important to me I would have married a Christian man who wanted to celebrate it. I don't get upset about not celebrating holidays that mean nothing to me and I don't raise my kids with expectations that they will receive gifts for holidays we don't celebrate.

Then this post isn’t for you. You don’t celebrate Easter.

DP This post does raise the topic of whether celebrating Easter a certain way is a requirement for being a good parent.

Specifically:

Easter themed candy (as determined by one spouse) = good parenting
Non-Easter themed candy (as determined by one spouse) = bad parenting

This is on a relationship site. It isn’t about parenting.
Even if they weren’t his kids, and a neighbor asked him to pick up candy to fill Easter eggs with, it would be weird for him to wait two weeks, give them random candy from the checkout counter, and be pissed if they didn’t use it.

But would OP still be complaining about her husband if it weren't for his failure to provide them with the Instagram worthy Easter egg hunt that OP has decided single handedly they deserve?

You're just being purposefully obtuse now. Easter egg hunts and Easter baskets happen all over the US. I've never lived in a place where there weren't multiple opportunities for such an event, and I'm talking outside of churches (our neighborhood organizes one, our country club has one, etc.). Kids see these things and they hear about them from friends. Will a kid be scarred if they don't get an Easter basket or go on an egg hunt? Obviously not. But it's not weird for a kid to be excited about it/want to participate. And getting a PayDay in your basket isn't really what they were looking for. Again, it won't kill them, but most of us don't live with that standard. Acting like OP created Easter baskets out of thin air is ridiculous.

Agreed.

Also, didn’t OP say that she got the stuff for the baskets. This is for filling those little plastic eggs. I guess OP’s husband wanted to cut up the candy bars?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:F the patriarchy and the expectation that I work FT and handle every family obligation and holiday.

To those who say don’t do it, well you’re depriving your kids of normal holiday rituals. You’ll also be sacrificing your marriage since the societal expectation is that as a woman you create a nice home life. If you don’t go along with this, you’ll struggle to have friends and your DH might replace you.

It’s a scam and the only solution is to NOT HAVE CHILDREN, which plenty of young women have realized.

If Easter was important to me I would have married a Christian man who wanted to celebrate it. I don't get upset about not celebrating holidays that mean nothing to me and I don't raise my kids with expectations that they will receive gifts for holidays we don't celebrate.

Then this post isn’t for you. You don’t celebrate Easter.

DP This post does raise the topic of whether celebrating Easter a certain way is a requirement for being a good parent.

Specifically:

Easter themed candy (as determined by one spouse) = good parenting
Non-Easter themed candy (as determined by one spouse) = bad parenting

This is on a relationship site. It isn’t about parenting.
Even if they weren’t his kids, and a neighbor asked him to pick up candy to fill Easter eggs with, it would be weird for him to wait two weeks, give them random candy from the checkout counter, and be pissed if they didn’t use it.

But would OP still be complaining about her husband if it weren't for his failure to provide them with the Instagram worthy Easter egg hunt that OP has decided single handedly they deserve?

You're just being purposefully obtuse now. Easter egg hunts and Easter baskets happen all over the US. I've never lived in a place where there weren't multiple opportunities for such an event, and I'm talking outside of churches (our neighborhood organizes one, our country club has one, etc.). Kids see these things and they hear about them from friends. Will a kid be scarred if they don't get an Easter basket or go on an egg hunt? Obviously not. But it's not weird for a kid to be excited about it/want to participate. And getting a PayDay in your basket isn't really what they were looking for. Again, it won't kill them, but most of us don't live with that standard. Acting like OP created Easter baskets out of thin air is ridiculous.

Agreed.

Also, didn’t OP say that she got the stuff for the baskets. This is for filling those little plastic eggs. I guess OP’s husband wanted to cut up the candy bars?

The real issue is that OP and her husband are going through a tough spot.

She asked him to complete a simple task that he didn’t pay enough attention to or was annoyed at her focus on this and did in a deliberately obtuse manner. Weaponized incompetence.

She didn’t just go to the store because she said he liked to be the one at the store to get the supplies needed for her vision of a nice family moment. Not quite weaponized incompetence but knowing he thought this was dumb, there is an element of setting him up to fail. Then she ignores putting together Easter dinner because he didn’t plan anything and immediately runs to the internet to complain about him when he fails.

Neither is trying to be particularly understanding or considerate of the other’s perspective. It definitely seems like they don’t like each other much but OP is annoyed so who knows how much filter has been put on this.

They are both the bad guy and it doesn’t matter who is marginally worse than the other.

I hope they find a way to find some happiness and to stop harping on the trappings of a holiday they don’t care about.