Great guy but sex is mediocre
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Anonymous
It meant to say that you view role play very narrowly- as something violent, exploitative of women and rigid. The same article and many studies say that extremely conservative and restrictive sexually upbringing can also result in kinks. Catholic priests who couldn’t marry were into little boys… Think of it please. Women who didn’t have sexual freedoms in early stages of life, marry early for religious reasons, or under family pressure, tend to actively re-discover kinks and their sexuality post divorce |
Anonymous
I’m not the person you are fighting with. I’m just observing that you shift position as the argument moves. First, it was all about dominant sex acts with quasi violent descriptions, and now you say people are upset about things that are not even sex acts or violent. No said that by the way. And I’m not characterizing anything - I’m taking your words. But since you asked me to think about it - can you think about what sex would look like when a woman didn’t have sexual freedom and see the parallels? That’s what the other PP was asking you to do. |
Anonymous
LOL youre just confirming that it almost always comes from people with regressive/outdated sexual views that then project it onto their experience of sex, basically echoing what all the people criticizing BDSM have already been saying. There is absolutely nothing that transgresses cultural norms, rather confirms them. It's mostly people with sexual trauma and porn issues who are drawn to BDSM, that's why sexually healthy people like OP's boyfriend get icked out by it. |
Anonymous
The sex would be mostly him taking her from behind like animals do for reproduction (what men prefer as it gives them most flexibility to cum intensely themselves without thinking of the woman much). No kinks to play or discuss. No orgasm for women or right to ask do it in a specific way she enjoys. |
Anonymous
Or it might look like: tying her down, smacking her around, calling her names, etc. All scenarios which are super common in BDSM. |
Anonymous
No I was just saying it can appear in women who had completely “normal” student marriages and then divorced. Nobody oppressed them - they just married as that was right for society, kids, husbands etc. Did what was expected of them. They didn’t watch or were addicted to porn. Didn’t have orgasm like most married US women. Then they rediscover themselves post divorce when they have more access to sex literature, new partners etc. I personally don’t see anything wrong with it. Also don’t consider mild viewing of porn more harmful than eatables once a week |
Anonymous
Being born and raised in regressive sexual backgrounds is also a form of trauma, so, again, you've just confirmed all the criticism. And the fact that many, many people engaging in BDSM are in fact just acting out the misogynistic and very old fashioned power dynamics they were raised in. They think theyre being edgy when theyre really playing out the same dynamics their grandma and grandpa had, lol. That's what's so funny about the fact that they think it's really something unique and shocking. |
Anonymous
No - it’s in your head. Animals just f…k quickly and part ways. No female would voluntarily allow coitus if the male was violent . BDSM is not violent sex - it’s a very narrow view at this |
Anonymous
That's a common BDSM dynamic too, lol. You sound very uneducated on the topic. And yes plenty of it is violent- how do you know so little about this subject yet feel so strongly? |
Anonymous
Well, at least they do have better variety of tools, acts, positions, plays and names than vanilla couples. There are studies that it improves sexual life in longer term marriage or relationship |
Anonymous
You don’t see the difference between consent and no consent . No, violence is not common in BDSM. In fact partners discuss the comfort and pressure levels at all times. My best most caring lovers were men who were into role play |
Anonymous
I do see the difference, but it doesnt change the underlying dynamic or actions, duh. Me agreeing to get slapped in the face doesnt mean I didnt get slapped in the face. What's not clicking? |
Anonymous
Why on earth would they have a better dynamic than a couple NOT plagued with regressive sexual beliefs and sexual trauma, lol? The whole thing sounds completely pathological and just depressing. |
Anonymous
I’m done with this thread but you can find plenty of literature online how sexual variety improves long term marriages |
Anonymous
Sexual variety does not necessarily mean BDSM or have anything to do with it |