Great guy but sex is mediocre

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

The really funny thing is that they literally need us “kink-shamers” in order to get off.

Seek help from a professional who specializes in narcissistic personality disorder (NPD).

DP, when this type of topic comes up on DCUM, there often is a poster or two who says how shocked their friends would be to know what they get up to. I always found that funny and a little self indulgent. Maybe the neighbors are doing even more interesting things?

True, it's all apart of their narcissistic fantasy. "Everyone would be SO SHOCKED if they knew what we were up to!" Right, not like 50 Shades of Grey was literally the most popular book in the USA, read by soccer moms everywhere. But sure, everyone would be absolutely scandalized and beside themselves at you two tying each other up

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

The really funny thing is that they literally need us “kink-shamers” in order to get off.

Seek help from a professional who specializes in narcissistic personality disorder (NPD).

DP, when this type of topic comes up on DCUM, there often is a poster or two who says how shocked their friends would be to know what they get up to. I always found that funny and a little self indulgent. Maybe the neighbors are doing even more interesting things?

True, it's all apart of their narcissistic fantasy. "Everyone would be SO SHOCKED if they knew what we were up to!" Right, not like 50 Shades of Grey was literally the most popular book in the USA, read by soccer moms everywhere. But sure, everyone would be absolutely scandalized and beside themselves at you two tying each other up

I think people say their friends would be shocked (me being of them) based on the comments and views about sex their friends share with them.

For me, I wouldn’t expect them to be shocked because of the “type of person” I am. I would expect them to be shocked based on their views of sex.

And 50 shades only presented a very narrow view of kink/BDSM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

The really funny thing is that they literally need us “kink-shamers” in order to get off.

Seek help from a professional who specializes in narcissistic personality disorder (NPD).

DP, when this type of topic comes up on DCUM, there often is a poster or two who says how shocked their friends would be to know what they get up to. I always found that funny and a little self indulgent. Maybe the neighbors are doing even more interesting things?

True, it's all apart of their narcissistic fantasy. "Everyone would be SO SHOCKED if they knew what we were up to!" Right, not like 50 Shades of Grey was literally the most popular book in the USA, read by soccer moms everywhere. But sure, everyone would be absolutely scandalized and beside themselves at you two tying each other up

I think people say their friends would be shocked (me being of them) based on the comments and views about sex their friends share with them.

For me, I wouldn’t expect them to be shocked because of the “type of person” I am. I would expect them to be shocked based on their views of sex.

And 50 shades only presented a very narrow view of kink/BDSM.

No one is shocked, considering how popular these things are in porn and the prevailing culture. Now, if you told me the WOMAN was the dominant one, that's a lot more interesting and would pique my interest. Everything else is a predictable, unsurprising snooze.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

The really funny thing is that they literally need us “kink-shamers” in order to get off.

Seek help from a professional who specializes in narcissistic personality disorder (NPD).

DP, when this type of topic comes up on DCUM, there often is a poster or two who says how shocked their friends would be to know what they get up to. I always found that funny and a little self indulgent. Maybe the neighbors are doing even more interesting things?

True, it's all apart of their narcissistic fantasy. "Everyone would be SO SHOCKED if they knew what we were up to!" Right, not like 50 Shades of Grey was literally the most popular book in the USA, read by soccer moms everywhere. But sure, everyone would be absolutely scandalized and beside themselves at you two tying each other up

I think people say their friends would be shocked (me being of them) based on the comments and views about sex their friends share with them.

For me, I wouldn’t expect them to be shocked because of the “type of person” I am. I would expect them to be shocked based on their views of sex.

And 50 shades only presented a very narrow view of kink/BDSM.

I’m the one who made the comment about the neighbors. You are falling into the same trap again. Presumably you and your friends share only some, not all of your activities and views. You are assuming that “what you see is what you get” for your friend, but somehow you are more than what you project and say? Unlike your friends, you have this rich inner secret life? Strange that you don’t think your friends have more going on (physically and with their views generally) than what they share.

You are making a common human error in judging others. But it is still an error.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

The really funny thing is that they literally need us “kink-shamers” in order to get off.

Seek help from a professional who specializes in narcissistic personality disorder (NPD).

DP, when this type of topic comes up on DCUM, there often is a poster or two who says how shocked their friends would be to know what they get up to. I always found that funny and a little self indulgent. Maybe the neighbors are doing even more interesting things?

True, it's all apart of their narcissistic fantasy. "Everyone would be SO SHOCKED if they knew what we were up to!" Right, not like 50 Shades of Grey was literally the most popular book in the USA, read by soccer moms everywhere. But sure, everyone would be absolutely scandalized and beside themselves at you two tying each other up

I think people say their friends would be shocked (me being of them) based on the comments and views about sex their friends share with them.

For me, I wouldn’t expect them to be shocked because of the “type of person” I am. I would expect them to be shocked based on their views of sex.

And 50 shades only presented a very narrow view of kink/BDSM.

No one is shocked, considering how popular these things are in porn and the prevailing culture. Now, if you told me the WOMAN was the dominant one, that's a lot more interesting and would pique my interest. Everything else is a predictable, unsurprising snooze.

I’m the one who mentioned fixed roles, and yes, that’s one of things I was thinking of. Over the course of a long interesting marriage, dynamics should naturally shift and shift again and again.

[Anonymous]

We’ve been married forever and I’m the prude in our relationship but somehow my husband keeps coming back for more. Hotel sex always made me more adventurous and when we became empty nesters my husband gifted me a robe from a Four Seasons. I got the message! 🤗 He’s never pushed me beyond my comfort level but that level keeps rising. Summer is coming and pool and backyard sex are on the menu.