Great guy but sex is mediocre

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not quick to call troll but this is a lie, women don’t think like this.

I’m not a troll and you’re beyond wrong. There are many women into rough sex and I’m one of them. Sorry that you’re a prude.

Did you tell him you like rough sex and he isn’t giving it to you?
He can’t read your mind. And today’s men are afraid of trying it without your explicit consent out of fear of being accused of rape. Open your mouth and tell him what you want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:imagine saying the sex is bad because the guy won’t beat the crap out of you…and then getting mad when people tell you that’s not normal.

Exactly... and trying to blame the guy for it. Sorry, not everyone is sexually traumatized or needs to be in order to get their nut. Absolutely cringe.

There is a number of commenters here who try to disparage pretty non-violent innocent bedroom play for some reason. Hope you get your O in missionary at last, and stop worrying so much about what other women enjoy

I'm not the one whining about my trash sex life because I need to be called the c-word and hit in order to get off. Truly tragic. I'll continue to enjoy my AMAZING sex life, yes, in missionary and plenty of other positions, that's not based off trauma and oppression and genuinely feels fun and liberating and exploratory and joyful. You are certainly welcome to keep your very disappointing and frustrating sex life with a man who deosnt seem that into you...

Why are you so invested in what goes on in other people’s bedrooms?

Why is someone begging for advice on a public forum about how to fix their awful, unsatisfying sex life but offended when people respond?

You’re the one that’s raging.

Yea, and she’s just clueless or jealous. A man who was lucky to experience great sex with no limits with a good sub in fact will be forever grateful and devoted to that woman.

DP; I never understand comments like this. With this dynamic where each person is in a constant role, by definition your experience is limited.

There are no constant roles or expectations how exactly each time would go. We have regular romantic sex as well just anyone else. I’m not arguing - it’s in fact the vanilla sex poster who is extremely aggressive in her judgments about others sex lives

DP. It sounds pretty rigid, assuming he's always playing the same role of dominant one and youre always submissive. And yes, you certainly are arguing. You also seem pretty aggressive in your judgements on characterization of "vanilla sex" despite admitting you engage in it occasionally.

I’m not. You however made several accusatory statements that men are not really into their partners, if they engage in role play, sex is subpar, not varied etc. You have no clue about other people relationships and if women desire this it means their experiences were positive

I have clues about basic psychology, and the rise in these "kinky" behaviors since porn usage became widespread. Or the fact that a much higher percentage of women who engage in these behavior are CSA victims. Calling out these facts is not an "accusatory statement", but rather a basic reality. I also have friends and realize that most of the women I know who are big into kink dont really seem able to maintain long term relationships with men, tend to report unsatisfying sex lives, dont get as much interest from men, etc. Again, if such information sharing triggers you, I urge you to avoid public forums where these kinds of discussions occur.

Guy here that rarely watched porn and never saw the kinks I have represented in porn.

My kinks all stem from actions or were discovered with woman in both intimate and non intimate scenarios.

A lot of my kinks are sensory related and 90% of them can be satisfied outside of the bedroom fully clothed, yet still deeply intimate situations.

Exactly - sone BDSM plays are not even sex acts ! People are truly clueless here. Him “ordering” me to unnoticeably put my soft bra in his pocket at dinner with friends. Or secretly “torturing” with a remote control toy hidden inside me… while everyone at dinner is clueless. They “rewarding” me after dinner at home
How come it’s so infuriating to people ??!

Seems like this started with actual sec. So you are moving the goalposts. Again.

What I described is part of role play that can be visual, communicative, and auditory

And?

It meant to say that you view role play very narrowly- as something violent, exploitative of women and rigid.
The same article and many studies say that extremely conservative and restrictive sexually upbringing can also result in kinks. Catholic priests who couldn’t marry were into little boys…

Think of it please. Women who didn’t have sexual freedoms in early stages of life, marry early for religious reasons, or under family pressure, tend to actively re-discover kinks and their sexuality post divorce

I’m not the person you are fighting with. I’m just observing that you shift position as the argument moves. First, it was all about dominant sex acts with quasi violent descriptions, and now you say people are upset about things that are not even sex acts or violent. No said that by the way. And I’m not characterizing anything - I’m taking your words.

But since you asked me to think about it - can you think about what sex would look like when a woman didn’t have sexual freedom and see the parallels? That’s what the other PP was asking you to do.

The sex would be mostly him taking her from behind like animals do for reproduction (what men prefer as it gives them most flexibility to cum intensely themselves without thinking of the woman much). No kinks to play or discuss. No orgasm for women or right to ask do it in a specific way she enjoys.

Or it might look like: tying her down, smacking her around, calling her names, etc. All scenarios which are super common in BDSM.

No - it’s in your head. Animals just f…k quickly and part ways. No female would voluntarily allow coitus if the male was violent .
BDSM is not violent sex - it’s a very narrow view at this

That's a common BDSM dynamic too, lol. You sound very uneducated on the topic. And yes plenty of it is violent- how do you know so little about this subject yet feel so strongly?

You don’t see the difference between consent and no consent . No, violence is not common in BDSM. In fact partners discuss the comfort and pressure levels at all times. My best most caring lovers were men who were into role play

+1 Constantly checking in, in the hottest ways possible.

I posted earlier up thread but I give up. There is no convincing someone who just doesn’t want to consider other points of view.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:imagine saying the sex is bad because the guy won’t beat the crap out of you…and then getting mad when people tell you that’s not normal.

Exactly... and trying to blame the guy for it. Sorry, not everyone is sexually traumatized or needs to be in order to get their nut. Absolutely cringe.

There is a number of commenters here who try to disparage pretty non-violent innocent bedroom play for some reason. Hope you get your O in missionary at last, and stop worrying so much about what other women enjoy

I'm not the one whining about my trash sex life because I need to be called the c-word and hit in order to get off. Truly tragic. I'll continue to enjoy my AMAZING sex life, yes, in missionary and plenty of other positions, that's not based off trauma and oppression and genuinely feels fun and liberating and exploratory and joyful. You are certainly welcome to keep your very disappointing and frustrating sex life with a man who deosnt seem that into you...

Why are you so invested in what goes on in other people’s bedrooms?

Why is someone begging for advice on a public forum about how to fix their awful, unsatisfying sex life but offended when people respond?

You’re the one that’s raging.

Yea, and she’s just clueless or jealous. A man who was lucky to experience great sex with no limits with a good sub in fact will be forever grateful and devoted to that woman.

DP; I never understand comments like this. With this dynamic where each person is in a constant role, by definition your experience is limited.

There are no constant roles or expectations how exactly each time would go. We have regular romantic sex as well just anyone else. I’m not arguing - it’s in fact the vanilla sex poster who is extremely aggressive in her judgments about others sex lives

DP. It sounds pretty rigid, assuming he's always playing the same role of dominant one and youre always submissive. And yes, you certainly are arguing. You also seem pretty aggressive in your judgements on characterization of "vanilla sex" despite admitting you engage in it occasionally.

I’m not. You however made several accusatory statements that men are not really into their partners, if they engage in role play, sex is subpar, not varied etc. You have no clue about other people relationships and if women desire this it means their experiences were positive

I have clues about basic psychology, and the rise in these "kinky" behaviors since porn usage became widespread. Or the fact that a much higher percentage of women who engage in these behavior are CSA victims. Calling out these facts is not an "accusatory statement", but rather a basic reality. I also have friends and realize that most of the women I know who are big into kink dont really seem able to maintain long term relationships with men, tend to report unsatisfying sex lives, dont get as much interest from men, etc. Again, if such information sharing triggers you, I urge you to avoid public forums where these kinds of discussions occur.

Guy here that rarely watched porn and never saw the kinks I have represented in porn.

My kinks all stem from actions or were discovered with woman in both intimate and non intimate scenarios.

A lot of my kinks are sensory related and 90% of them can be satisfied outside of the bedroom fully clothed, yet still deeply intimate situations.

Exactly - sone BDSM plays are not even sex acts ! People are truly clueless here. Him “ordering” me to unnoticeably put my soft bra in his pocket at dinner with friends. Or secretly “torturing” with a remote control toy hidden inside me… while everyone at dinner is clueless. They “rewarding” me after dinner at home
How come it’s so infuriating to people ??!

Seems like this started with actual sec. So you are moving the goalposts. Again.

What I described is part of role play that can be visual, communicative, and auditory

And?

It meant to say that you view role play very narrowly- as something violent, exploitative of women and rigid.
The same article and many studies say that extremely conservative and restrictive sexually upbringing can also result in kinks. Catholic priests who couldn’t marry were into little boys…

Think of it please. Women who didn’t have sexual freedoms in early stages of life, marry early for religious reasons, or under family pressure, tend to actively re-discover kinks and their sexuality post divorce

I’m not the person you are fighting with. I’m just observing that you shift position as the argument moves. First, it was all about dominant sex acts with quasi violent descriptions, and now you say people are upset about things that are not even sex acts or violent. No said that by the way. And I’m not characterizing anything - I’m taking your words.

But since you asked me to think about it - can you think about what sex would look like when a woman didn’t have sexual freedom and see the parallels? That’s what the other PP was asking you to do.

The sex would be mostly him taking her from behind like animals do for reproduction (what men prefer as it gives them most flexibility to cum intensely themselves without thinking of the woman much). No kinks to play or discuss. No orgasm for women or right to ask do it in a specific way she enjoys.

Or it might look like: tying her down, smacking her around, calling her names, etc. All scenarios which are super common in BDSM.

No - it’s in your head. Animals just f…k quickly and part ways. No female would voluntarily allow coitus if the male was violent .
BDSM is not violent sex - it’s a very narrow view at this

That's a common BDSM dynamic too, lol. You sound very uneducated on the topic. And yes plenty of it is violent- how do you know so little about this subject yet feel so strongly?

You don’t see the difference between consent and no consent . No, violence is not common in BDSM. In fact partners discuss the comfort and pressure levels at all times. My best most caring lovers were men who were into role play

+1 Constantly checking in, in the hottest ways possible.

I posted earlier up thread but I give up. There is no convincing someone who just doesn’t want to consider other points of view.

DP. Some of the problem is that there are a lot of people posting different things. Some posters have wanted acts with more violent descriptions and some posters have explicitly said they don’t want to talk about it with their partner because it kills their fantasy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:imagine saying the sex is bad because the guy won’t beat the crap out of you…and then getting mad when people tell you that’s not normal.

Exactly... and trying to blame the guy for it. Sorry, not everyone is sexually traumatized or needs to be in order to get their nut. Absolutely cringe.

There is a number of commenters here who try to disparage pretty non-violent innocent bedroom play for some reason. Hope you get your O in missionary at last, and stop worrying so much aabout what other women enjoy

I'm not the one whining about my trash sex life because I need to be called the c-word and hit in order to get off. Truly tragic. I'll continue to enjoy my AMAZING sex life, yes, in missionary and plenty of other positions, that's not based off trauma and oppression and genuinely feels fun and liberating and exploratory and joyful. You are certainly welcome to keep your very disappointing and frustrating sex life with a man who deosnt seem that into you...

Why are you so invested in what goes on in other people’s bedrooms?

Why is someone begging for advice on a public forum about how to fix their awful, unsatisfying sex life but offended when people respond?

You’re the one that’s raging.

Yea, and she’s just clueless or jealous. A man who was lucky to experience great sex with no limits with a good sub in fact will be forever grateful and devoted to that woman.

DP; I never understand comments like this. With this dynamic where each person is in a constant role, by definition your experience is limited.

There are no constant roles or expectations how exactly each time would go. We have regular romantic sex as well just anyone else. I’m not arguing - it’s in fact the vanilla sex poster who is extremely aggressive in her judgments about others sex lives

DP. It sounds pretty rigid, assuming he's always playing the same role of dominant one and youre always submissive. And yes, you certainly are arguing. You also seem pretty aggressive in your judgements on characterization of "vanilla sex" despite admitting you engage in it occasionally.

I’m not. You however made several accusatory statements that men are not really into their partners, if they engage in role play, sex is subpar, not varied etc. You have no clue about other people relationships and if women desire this it means their experiences were positive

I have clues about basic psychology, and the rise in these "kinky" behaviors since porn usage became widespread. Or the fact that a much higher percentage of women who engage in these behavior are CSA victims. Calling out these facts is not an "accusatory statement", but rather a basic reality. I also have friends and realize that most of the women I know who are big into kink dont really seem able to maintain long term relationships with men, tend to report unsatisfying sex lives, dont get as much interest from men, etc. Again, if such information sharing triggers you, I urge you to avoid public forums where these kinds of discussions occur.

Guy here that rarely watched porn and never saw the kinks I have represented in porn.

My kinks all stem from actions or were discovered with woman in both intimate and non intimate scenarios.

A lot of my kinks are sensory related and 90% of them can be satisfied outside of the bedroom fully clothed, yet still deeply intimate situations.

Exactly - sone BDSM plays are not even sex acts ! People are truly clueless here. Him “ordering” me to unnoticeably put my soft bra in his pocket at dinner with friends. Or secretly “torturing” with a remote control toy hidden inside me… while everyone at dinner is clueless. They “rewarding” me after dinner at home
How come it’s so infuriating to people ??!

Seems like this started with actual sec. So you are moving the goalposts. Again.

What I described is part of role play that can be visual, communicative, and auditory

And?

It meant to say that you view role play very narrowly- as something violent, exploitative of women and rigid.
The same article and many studies say that extremely conservative and restrictive sexually upbringing can also result in kinks. Catholic priests who couldn’t marry were into little boys…

Think of it please. Women who didn’t have sexual freedoms in early stages of life, marry early for religious reasons, or under family pressure, tend to actively re-discover kinks and their sexuality post divorce

LOL youre just confirming that it almost always comes from people with regressive/outdated sexual views that then project it onto their experience of sex, basically echoing what all the people criticizing BDSM have already been saying. There is absolutely nothing that transgresses cultural norms, rather confirms them. It's mostly people with sexual trauma and porn issues who are drawn to BDSM, that's why sexually healthy people like OP's boyfriend get icked out by it.

No I was just saying it can appear in women who had completely “normal” student marriages and then divorced. Nobody oppressed them - they just married as that was right for society, kids, husbands etc. Did what was expected of them. They didn’t watch or were addicted to porn. Didn’t have orgasm like most married US women. Then they rediscover themselves post divorce when they have more access to sex literature, new partners etc.

I personally don’t see anything wrong with it. Also don’t consider mild viewing of porn more harmful than eatables once a week

Being born and raised in regressive sexual backgrounds is also a form of trauma, so, again, you've just confirmed all the criticism. And the fact that many, many people engaging in BDSM are in fact just acting out the misogynistic and very old fashioned power dynamics they were raised in. They think theyre being edgy when theyre really playing out the same dynamics their grandma and grandpa had, lol. That's what's so funny about the fact that they think it's really something unique and shocking.

The really funny thing is that they literally need us “kink-shamers” in order to get off. If they didn’t feel like they were being subversive edgy baddies, then their kink would no longer hold appeal and they would move on to something else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:imagine saying the sex is bad because the guy won’t beat the crap out of you…and then getting mad when people tell you that’s not normal.

Exactly... and trying to blame the guy for it. Sorry, not everyone is sexually traumatized or needs to be in order to get their nut. Absolutely cringe.

There is a number of commenters here who try to disparage pretty non-violent innocent bedroom play for some reason. Hope you get your O in missionary at last, and stop worrying so much aabout what other women enjoy

I'm not the one whining about my trash sex life because I need to be called the c-word and hit in order to get off. Truly tragic. I'll continue to enjoy my AMAZING sex life, yes, in missionary and plenty of other positions, that's not based off trauma and oppression and genuinely feels fun and liberating and exploratory and joyful. You are certainly welcome to keep your very disappointing and frustrating sex life with a man who deosnt seem that into you...

Why are you so invested in what goes on in other people’s bedrooms?

Why is someone begging for advice on a public forum about how to fix their awful, unsatisfying sex life but offended when people respond?

You’re the one that’s raging.

Yea, and she’s just clueless or jealous. A man who was lucky to experience great sex with no limits with a good sub in fact will be forever grateful and devoted to that woman.

DP; I never understand comments like this. With this dynamic where each person is in a constant role, by definition your experience is limited.

There are no constant roles or expectations how exactly each time would go. We have regular romantic sex as well just anyone else. I’m not arguing - it’s in fact the vanilla sex poster who is extremely aggressive in her judgments about others sex lives

DP. It sounds pretty rigid, assuming he's always playing the same role of dominant one and youre always submissive. And yes, you certainly are arguing. You also seem pretty aggressive in your judgements on characterization of "vanilla sex" despite admitting you engage in it occasionally.

I’m not. You however made several accusatory statements that men are not really into their partners, if they engage in role play, sex is subpar, not varied etc. You have no clue about other people relationships and if women desire this it means their experiences were positive

I have clues about basic psychology, and the rise in these "kinky" behaviors since porn usage became widespread. Or the fact that a much higher percentage of women who engage in these behavior are CSA victims. Calling out these facts is not an "accusatory statement", but rather a basic reality. I also have friends and realize that most of the women I know who are big into kink dont really seem able to maintain long term relationships with men, tend to report unsatisfying sex lives, dont get as much interest from men, etc. Again, if such information sharing triggers you, I urge you to avoid public forums where these kinds of discussions occur.

Guy here that rarely watched porn and never saw the kinks I have represented in porn.

My kinks all stem from actions or were discovered with woman in both intimate and non intimate scenarios.

A lot of my kinks are sensory related and 90% of them can be satisfied outside of the bedroom fully clothed, yet still deeply intimate situations.

Exactly - sone BDSM plays are not even sex acts ! People are truly clueless here. Him “ordering” me to unnoticeably put my soft bra in his pocket at dinner with friends. Or secretly “torturing” with a remote control toy hidden inside me… while everyone at dinner is clueless. They “rewarding” me after dinner at home
How come it’s so infuriating to people ??!

Seems like this started with actual sec. So you are moving the goalposts. Again.

What I described is part of role play that can be visual, communicative, and auditory

And?

It meant to say that you view role play very narrowly- as something violent, exploitative of women and rigid.
The same article and many studies say that extremely conservative and restrictive sexually upbringing can also result in kinks. Catholic priests who couldn’t marry were into little boys…

Think of it please. Women who didn’t have sexual freedoms in early stages of life, marry early for religious reasons, or under family pressure, tend to actively re-discover kinks and their sexuality post divorce

LOL youre just confirming that it almost always comes from people with regressive/outdated sexual views that then project it onto their experience of sex, basically echoing what all the people criticizing BDSM have already been saying. There is absolutely nothing that transgresses cultural norms, rather confirms them. It's mostly people with sexual trauma and porn issues who are drawn to BDSM, that's why sexually healthy people like OP's boyfriend get icked out by it.

No I was just saying it can appear in women who had completely “normal” student marriages and then divorced. Nobody oppressed them - they just married as that was right for society, kids, husbands etc. Did what was expected of them. They didn’t watch or were addicted to porn. Didn’t have orgasm like most married US women. Then they rediscover themselves post divorce when they have more access to sex literature, new partners etc.

I personally don’t see anything wrong with it. Also don’t consider mild viewing of porn more harmful than eatables once a week

Being born and raised in regressive sexual backgrounds is also a form of trauma, so, again, you've just confirmed all the criticism. And the fact that many, many people engaging in BDSM are in fact just acting out the misogynistic and very old fashioned power dynamics they were raised in. They think theyre being edgy when theyre really playing out the same dynamics their grandma and grandpa had, lol. That's what's so funny about the fact that they think it's really something unique and shocking.

The really funny thing is that they literally need us “kink-shamers” in order to get off. If they didn’t feel like they were being subversive edgy baddies, then their kink would no longer hold appeal and they would move on to something else.

What are you talking about? Some people truly think universe circles around them only. When I have kinky sex the last thing is my mind is what a middle aged lady at WholeFoods would think of it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:imagine saying the sex is bad because the guy won’t beat the crap out of you…and then getting mad when people tell you that’s not normal.

Exactly... and trying to blame the guy for it. Sorry, not everyone is sexually traumatized or needs to be in order to get their nut. Absolutely cringe.

There is a number of commenters here who try to disparage pretty non-violent innocent bedroom play for some reason. Hope you get your O in missionary at last, and stop worrying so much aabout what other women enjoy

I'm not the one whining about my trash sex life because I need to be called the c-word and hit in order to get off. Truly tragic. I'll continue to enjoy my AMAZING sex life, yes, in missionary and plenty of other positions, that's not based off trauma and oppression and genuinely feels fun and liberating and exploratory and joyful. You are certainly welcome to keep your very disappointing and frustrating sex life with a man who deosnt seem that into you...

Why are you so invested in what goes on in other people’s bedrooms?

Why is someone begging for advice on a public forum about how to fix their awful, unsatisfying sex life but offended when people respond?

You’re the one that’s raging.

Yea, and she’s just clueless or jealous. A man who was lucky to experience great sex with no limits with a good sub in fact will be forever grateful and devoted to that woman.

DP; I never understand comments like this. With this dynamic where each person is in a constant role, by definition your experience is limited.

There are no constant roles or expectations how exactly each time would go. We have regular romantic sex as well just anyone else. I’m not arguing - it’s in fact the vanilla sex poster who is extremely aggressive in her judgments about others sex lives

DP. It sounds pretty rigid, assuming he's always playing the same role of dominant one and youre always submissive. And yes, you certainly are arguing. You also seem pretty aggressive in your judgements on characterization of "vanilla sex" despite admitting you engage in it occasionally.

I’m not. You however made several accusatory statements that men are not really into their partners, if they engage in role play, sex is subpar, not varied etc. You have no clue about other people relationships and if women desire this it means their experiences were positive

I have clues about basic psychology, and the rise in these "kinky" behaviors since porn usage became widespread. Or the fact that a much higher percentage of women who engage in these behavior are CSA victims. Calling out these facts is not an "accusatory statement", but rather a basic reality. I also have friends and realize that most of the women I know who are big into kink dont really seem able to maintain long term relationships with men, tend to report unsatisfying sex lives, dont get as much interest from men, etc. Again, if such information sharing triggers you, I urge you to avoid public forums where these kinds of discussions occur.

Guy here that rarely watched porn and never saw the kinks I have represented in porn.

My kinks all stem from actions or were discovered with woman in both intimate and non intimate scenarios.

A lot of my kinks are sensory related and 90% of them can be satisfied outside of the bedroom fully clothed, yet still deeply intimate situations.

Exactly - sone BDSM plays are not even sex acts ! People are truly clueless here. Him “ordering” me to unnoticeably put my soft bra in his pocket at dinner with friends. Or secretly “torturing” with a remote control toy hidden inside me… while everyone at dinner is clueless. They “rewarding” me after dinner at home
How come it’s so infuriating to people ??!

Seems like this started with actual sec. So you are moving the goalposts. Again.

What I described is part of role play that can be visual, communicative, and auditory

And?

It meant to say that you view role play very narrowly- as something violent, exploitative of women and rigid.
The same article and many studies say that extremely conservative and restrictive sexually upbringing can also result in kinks. Catholic priests who couldn’t marry were into little boys…

Think of it please. Women who didn’t have sexual freedoms in early stages of life, marry early for religious reasons, or under family pressure, tend to actively re-discover kinks and their sexuality post divorce

LOL youre just confirming that it almost always comes from people with regressive/outdated sexual views that then project it onto their experience of sex, basically echoing what all the people criticizing BDSM have already been saying. There is absolutely nothing that transgresses cultural norms, rather confirms them. It's mostly people with sexual trauma and porn issues who are drawn to BDSM, that's why sexually healthy people like OP's boyfriend get icked out by it.

No I was just saying it can appear in women who had completely “normal” student marriages and then divorced. Nobody oppressed them - they just married as that was right for society, kids, husbands etc. Did what was expected of them. They didn’t watch or were addicted to porn. Didn’t have orgasm like most married US women. Then they rediscover themselves post divorce when they have more access to sex literature, new partners etc.

I personally don’t see anything wrong with it. Also don’t consider mild viewing of porn more harmful than eatables once a week

Being born and raised in regressive sexual backgrounds is also a form of trauma, so, again, you've just confirmed all the criticism. And the fact that many, many people engaging in BDSM are in fact just acting out the misogynistic and very old fashioned power dynamics they were raised in. They think theyre being edgy when theyre really playing out the same dynamics their grandma and grandpa had, lol. That's what's so funny about the fact that they think it's really something unique and shocking.

The really funny thing is that they literally need us “kink-shamers” in order to get off. If they didn’t feel like they were being subversive edgy baddies, then their kink would no longer hold appeal and they would move on to something else.

What are you talking about? Some people truly think universe circles around them only. When I have kinky sex the last thing is my mind is what a middle aged lady at WholeFoods would think of it

NP, sure and that's why you've been rhapsodizing for hours about how great your sex life is and regaling us with "exciting" stories about how you use your vibrator (as if anyone cares or is interested). The gag being if the sex was so good you wouldnt have so much time to sit on DCUM, lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:imagine saying the sex is bad because the guy won’t beat the crap out of you…and then getting mad when people tell you that’s not normal.

Exactly... and trying to blame the guy for it. Sorry, not everyone is sexually traumatized or needs to be in order to get their nut. Absolutely cringe.

There is a number of commenters here who try to disparage pretty non-violent innocent bedroom play for some reason. Hope you get your O in missionary at last, and stop worrying so much aabout what other women enjoy

I'm not the one whining about my trash sex life because I need to be called the c-word and hit in order to get off. Truly tragic. I'll continue to enjoy my AMAZING sex life, yes, in missionary and plenty of other positions, that's not based off trauma and oppression and genuinely feels fun and liberating and exploratory and joyful. You are certainly welcome to keep your very disappointing and frustrating sex life with a man who deosnt seem that into you...

Why are you so invested in what goes on in other people’s bedrooms?

Why is someone begging for advice on a public forum about how to fix their awful, unsatisfying sex life but offended when people respond?

You’re the one that’s raging.

Yea, and she’s just clueless or jealous. A man who was lucky to experience great sex with no limits with a good sub in fact will be forever grateful and devoted to that woman.

DP; I never understand comments like this. With this dynamic where each person is in a constant role, by definition your experience is limited.

There are no constant roles or expectations how exactly each time would go. We have regular romantic sex as well just anyone else. I’m not arguing - it’s in fact the vanilla sex poster who is extremely aggressive in her judgments about others sex lives

DP. It sounds pretty rigid, assuming he's always playing the same role of dominant one and youre always submissive. And yes, you certainly are arguing. You also seem pretty aggressive in your judgements on characterization of "vanilla sex" despite admitting you engage in it occasionally.

I’m not. You however made several accusatory statements that men are not really into their partners, if they engage in role play, sex is subpar, not varied etc. You have no clue about other people relationships and if women desire this it means their experiences were positive

I have clues about basic psychology, and the rise in these "kinky" behaviors since porn usage became widespread. Or the fact that a much higher percentage of women who engage in these behavior are CSA victims. Calling out these facts is not an "accusatory statement", but rather a basic reality. I also have friends and realize that most of the women I know who are big into kink dont really seem able to maintain long term relationships with men, tend to report unsatisfying sex lives, dont get as much interest from men, etc. Again, if such information sharing triggers you, I urge you to avoid public forums where these kinds of discussions occur.

Guy here that rarely watched porn and never saw the kinks I have represented in porn.

My kinks all stem from actions or were discovered with woman in both intimate and non intimate scenarios.

A lot of my kinks are sensory related and 90% of them can be satisfied outside of the bedroom fully clothed, yet still deeply intimate situations.

Exactly - sone BDSM plays are not even sex acts ! People are truly clueless here. Him “ordering” me to unnoticeably put my soft bra in his pocket at dinner with friends. Or secretly “torturing” with a remote control toy hidden inside me… while everyone at dinner is clueless. They “rewarding” me after dinner at home
How come it’s so infuriating to people ??!

Seems like this started with actual sec. So you are moving the goalposts. Again.

What I described is part of role play that can be visual, communicative, and auditory

And?

It meant to say that you view role play very narrowly- as something violent, exploitative of women and rigid.
The same article and many studies say that extremely conservative and restrictive sexually upbringing can also result in kinks. Catholic priests who couldn’t marry were into little boys…

Think of it please. Women who didn’t have sexual freedoms in early stages of life, marry early for religious reasons, or under family pressure, tend to actively re-discover kinks and their sexuality post divorce

LOL youre just confirming that it almost always comes from people with regressive/outdated sexual views that then project it onto their experience of sex, basically echoing what all the people criticizing BDSM have already been saying. There is absolutely nothing that transgresses cultural norms, rather confirms them. It's mostly people with sexual trauma and porn issues who are drawn to BDSM, that's why sexually healthy people like OP's boyfriend get icked out by it.

No I was just saying it can appear in women who had completely “normal” student marriages and then divorced. Nobody oppressed them - they just married as that was right for society, kids, husbands etc. Did what was expected of them. They didn’t watch or were addicted to porn. Didn’t have orgasm like most married US women. Then they rediscover themselves post divorce when they have more access to sex literature, new partners etc.

I personally don’t see anything wrong with it. Also don’t consider mild viewing of porn more harmful than eatables once a week

Being born and raised in regressive sexual backgrounds is also a form of trauma, so, again, you've just confirmed all the criticism. And the fact that many, many people engaging in BDSM are in fact just acting out the misogynistic and very old fashioned power dynamics they were raised in. They think theyre being edgy when theyre really playing out the same dynamics their grandma and grandpa had, lol. That's what's so funny about the fact that they think it's really something unique and shocking.

The really funny thing is that they literally need us “kink-shamers” in order to get off. If they didn’t feel like they were being subversive edgy baddies, then their kink would no longer hold appeal and they would move on to something else.

What are you talking about? Some people truly think universe circles around them only. When I have kinky sex the last thing is my mind is what a middle aged lady at WholeFoods would think of it

NP, sure and that's why you've been rhapsodizing for hours about how great your sex life is and regaling us with "exciting" stories about how you use your vibrator (as if anyone cares or is interested). The gag being if the sex was so good you wouldnt have so much time to sit on DCUM, lol

You are nuts. Why are you then arguing for so long on dcum ? You should be now having exiting missionary sex

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:imagine saying the sex is bad because the guy won’t beat the crap out of you…and then getting mad when people tell you that’s not normal.

Exactly... and trying to blame the guy for it. Sorry, not everyone is sexually traumatized or needs to be in order to get their nut. Absolutely cringe.

There is a number of commenters here who try to disparage pretty non-violent innocent bedroom play for some reason. Hope you get your O in missionary at last, and stop worrying so much aabout what other women enjoy

I'm not the one whining about my trash sex life because I need to be called the c-word and hit in order to get off. Truly tragic. I'll continue to enjoy my AMAZING sex life, yes, in missionary and plenty of other positions, that's not based off trauma and oppression and genuinely feels fun and liberating and exploratory and joyful. You are certainly welcome to keep your very disappointing and frustrating sex life with a man who deosnt seem that into you...

Why are you so invested in what goes on in other people’s bedrooms?

Why is someone begging for advice on a public forum about how to fix their awful, unsatisfying sex life but offended when people respond?

You’re the one that’s raging.

Yea, and she’s just clueless or jealous. A man who was lucky to experience great sex with no limits with a good sub in fact will be forever grateful and devoted to that woman.

DP; I never understand comments like this. With this dynamic where each person is in a constant role, by definition your experience is limited.

There are no constant roles or expectations how exactly each time would go. We have regular romantic sex as well just anyone else. I’m not arguing - it’s in fact the vanilla sex poster who is extremely aggressive in her judgments about others sex lives

DP. It sounds pretty rigid, assuming he's always playing the same role of dominant one and youre always submissive. And yes, you certainly are arguing. You also seem pretty aggressive in your judgements on characterization of "vanilla sex" despite admitting you engage in it occasionally.

I’m not. You however made several accusatory statements that men are not really into their partners, if they engage in role play, sex is subpar, not varied etc. You have no clue about other people relationships and if women desire this it means their experiences were positive

I have clues about basic psychology, and the rise in these "kinky" behaviors since porn usage became widespread. Or the fact that a much higher percentage of women who engage in these behavior are CSA victims. Calling out these facts is not an "accusatory statement", but rather a basic reality. I also have friends and realize that most of the women I know who are big into kink dont really seem able to maintain long term relationships with men, tend to report unsatisfying sex lives, dont get as much interest from men, etc. Again, if such information sharing triggers you, I urge you to avoid public forums where these kinds of discussions occur.

Guy here that rarely watched porn and never saw the kinks I have represented in porn.

My kinks all stem from actions or were discovered with woman in both intimate and non intimate scenarios.

A lot of my kinks are sensory related and 90% of them can be satisfied outside of the bedroom fully clothed, yet still deeply intimate situations.

Exactly - sone BDSM plays are not even sex acts ! People are truly clueless here. Him “ordering” me to unnoticeably put my soft bra in his pocket at dinner with friends. Or secretly “torturing” with a remote control toy hidden inside me… while everyone at dinner is clueless. They “rewarding” me after dinner at home
How come it’s so infuriating to people ??!

Seems like this started with actual sec. So you are moving the goalposts. Again.

What I described is part of role play that can be visual, communicative, and auditory

And?

It meant to say that you view role play very narrowly- as something violent, exploitative of women and rigid.
The same article and many studies say that extremely conservative and restrictive sexually upbringing can also result in kinks. Catholic priests who couldn’t marry were into little boys…

Think of it please. Women who didn’t have sexual freedoms in early stages of life, marry early for religious reasons, or under family pressure, tend to actively re-discover kinks and their sexuality post divorce

LOL youre just confirming that it almost always comes from people with regressive/outdated sexual views that then project it onto their experience of sex, basically echoing what all the people criticizing BDSM have already been saying. There is absolutely nothing that transgresses cultural norms, rather confirms them. It's mostly people with sexual trauma and porn issues who are drawn to BDSM, that's why sexually healthy people like OP's boyfriend get icked out by it.

No I was just saying it can appear in women who had completely “normal” student marriages and then divorced. Nobody oppressed them - they just married as that was right for society, kids, husbands etc. Did what was expected of them. They didn’t watch or were addicted to porn. Didn’t have orgasm like most married US women. Then they rediscover themselves post divorce when they have more access to sex literature, new partners etc.

I personally don’t see anything wrong with it. Also don’t consider mild viewing of porn more harmful than eatables once a week

Being born and raised in regressive sexual backgrounds is also a form of trauma, so, again, you've just confirmed all the criticism. And the fact that many, many people engaging in BDSM are in fact just acting out the misogynistic and very old fashioned power dynamics they were raised in. They think theyre being edgy when theyre really playing out the same dynamics their grandma and grandpa had, lol. That's what's so funny about the fact that they think it's really something unique and shocking.

The really funny thing is that they literally need us “kink-shamers” in order to get off. If they didn’t feel like they were being subversive edgy baddies, then their kink would no longer hold appeal and they would move on to something else.

Well said. It really seems like the sex is not that great, and the entire appeal is getting to brag to people about how "wild" they are (as if anyone is interested in their bizarre preferences), as if we're all 12 year old virgins and SHOCKED at the idea of sex. Ignoring the fact that this is literally a mommy blog and we all got that status in the same way 🤪

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:imagine saying the sex is bad because the guy won’t beat the crap out of you…and then getting mad when people tell you that’s not normal.

Exactly... and trying to blame the guy for it. Sorry, not everyone is sexually traumatized or needs to be in order to get their nut. Absolutely cringe.

There is a number of commenters here who try to disparage pretty non-violent innocent bedroom play for some reason. Hope you get your O in missionary at last, and stop worrying so much aabout what other women enjoy

I'm not the one whining about my trash sex life because I need to be called the c-word and hit in order to get off. Truly tragic. I'll continue to enjoy my AMAZING sex life, yes, in missionary and plenty of other positions, that's not based off trauma and oppression and genuinely feels fun and liberating and exploratory and joyful. You are certainly welcome to keep your very disappointing and frustrating sex life with a man who deosnt seem that into you...

Why are you so invested in what goes on in other people’s bedrooms?

Why is someone begging for advice on a public forum about how to fix their awful, unsatisfying sex life but offended when people respond?

You’re the one that’s raging.

Yea, and she’s just clueless or jealous. A man who was lucky to experience great sex with no limits with a good sub in fact will be forever grateful and devoted to that woman.

DP; I never understand comments like this. With this dynamic where each person is in a constant role, by definition your experience is limited.

There are no constant roles or expectations how exactly each time would go. We have regular romantic sex as well just anyone else. I’m not arguing - it’s in fact the vanilla sex poster who is extremely aggressive in her judgments about others sex lives

DP. It sounds pretty rigid, assuming he's always playing the same role of dominant one and youre always submissive. And yes, you certainly are arguing. You also seem pretty aggressive in your judgements on characterization of "vanilla sex" despite admitting you engage in it occasionally.

I’m not. You however made several accusatory statements that men are not really into their partners, if they engage in role play, sex is subpar, not varied etc. You have no clue about other people relationships and if women desire this it means their experiences were positive

I have clues about basic psychology, and the rise in these "kinky" behaviors since porn usage became widespread. Or the fact that a much higher percentage of women who engage in these behavior are CSA victims. Calling out these facts is not an "accusatory statement", but rather a basic reality. I also have friends and realize that most of the women I know who are big into kink dont really seem able to maintain long term relationships with men, tend to report unsatisfying sex lives, dont get as much interest from men, etc. Again, if such information sharing triggers you, I urge you to avoid public forums where these kinds of discussions occur.

Guy here that rarely watched porn and never saw the kinks I have represented in porn.

My kinks all stem from actions or were discovered with woman in both intimate and non intimate scenarios.

A lot of my kinks are sensory related and 90% of them can be satisfied outside of the bedroom fully clothed, yet still deeply intimate situations.

Exactly - sone BDSM plays are not even sex acts ! People are truly clueless here. Him “ordering” me to unnoticeably put my soft bra in his pocket at dinner with friends. Or secretly “torturing” with a remote control toy hidden inside me… while everyone at dinner is clueless. They “rewarding” me after dinner at home
How come it’s so infuriating to people ??!

Seems like this started with actual sec. So you are moving the goalposts. Again.

What I described is part of role play that can be visual, communicative, and auditory

And?

It meant to say that you view role play very narrowly- as something violent, exploitative of women and rigid.
The same article and many studies say that extremely conservative and restrictive sexually upbringing can also result in kinks. Catholic priests who couldn’t marry were into little boys…

Think of it please. Women who didn’t have sexual freedoms in early stages of life, marry early for religious reasons, or under family pressure, tend to actively re-discover kinks and their sexuality post divorce

LOL youre just confirming that it almost always comes from people with regressive/outdated sexual views that then project it onto their experience of sex, basically echoing what all the people criticizing BDSM have already been saying. There is absolutely nothing that transgresses cultural norms, rather confirms them. It's mostly people with sexual trauma and porn issues who are drawn to BDSM, that's why sexually healthy people like OP's boyfriend get icked out by it.

No I was just saying it can appear in women who had completely “normal” student marriages and then divorced. Nobody oppressed them - they just married as that was right for society, kids, husbands etc. Did what was expected of them. They didn’t watch or were addicted to porn. Didn’t have orgasm like most married US women. Then they rediscover themselves post divorce when they have more access to sex literature, new partners etc.

I personally don’t see anything wrong with it. Also don’t consider mild viewing of porn more harmful than eatables once a week

Being born and raised in regressive sexual backgrounds is also a form of trauma, so, again, you've just confirmed all the criticism. And the fact that many, many people engaging in BDSM are in fact just acting out the misogynistic and very old fashioned power dynamics they were raised in. They think theyre being edgy when theyre really playing out the same dynamics their grandma and grandpa had, lol. That's what's so funny about the fact that they think it's really something unique and shocking.

The really funny thing is that they literally need us “kink-shamers” in order to get off. If they didn’t feel like they were being subversive edgy baddies, then their kink would no longer hold appeal and they would move on to something else.

What are you talking about? Some people truly think universe circles around them only. When I have kinky sex the last thing is my mind is what a middle aged lady at WholeFoods would think of it

NP, sure and that's why you've been rhapsodizing for hours about how great your sex life is and regaling us with "exciting" stories about how you use your vibrator (as if anyone cares or is interested). The gag being if the sex was so good you wouldnt have so much time to sit on DCUM, lol

You are nuts. Why are you then arguing for so long on dcum ? You should be now having exiting missionary sex

And why arent you having some man punch you in the back of the head and call you a bad little girl? Shouldnt that be occupying your Saturday instead of spending 12 hours arguing with moms?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:imagine saying the sex is bad because the guy won’t beat the crap out of you…and then getting mad when people tell you that’s not normal.

Exactly... and trying to blame the guy for it. Sorry, not everyone is sexually traumatized or needs to be in order to get their nut. Absolutely cringe.

There is a number of commenters here who try to disparage pretty non-violent innocent bedroom play for some reason. Hope you get your O in missionary at last, and stop worrying so much about what other women enjoy

I'm not the one whining about my trash sex life because I need to be called the c-word and hit in order to get off. Truly tragic. I'll continue to enjoy my AMAZING sex life, yes, in missionary and plenty of other positions, that's not based off trauma and oppression and genuinely feels fun and liberating and exploratory and joyful. You are certainly welcome to keep your very disappointing and frustrating sex life with a man who deosnt seem that into you...

Why are you so invested in what goes on in other people’s bedrooms?

Why is someone begging for advice on a public forum about how to fix their awful, unsatisfying sex life but offended when people respond?

You’re the one that’s raging.

Yea, and she’s just clueless or jealous. A man who was lucky to experience great sex with no limits with a good sub in fact will be forever grateful and devoted to that woman.

DP; I never understand comments like this. With this dynamic where each person is in a constant role, by definition your experience is limited.

There are no constant roles or expectations how exactly each time would go. We have regular romantic sex as well just anyone else. I’m not arguing - it’s in fact the vanilla sex poster who is extremely aggressive in her judgments about others sex lives

DP. It sounds pretty rigid, assuming he's always playing the same role of dominant one and youre always submissive. And yes, you certainly are arguing. You also seem pretty aggressive in your judgements on characterization of "vanilla sex" despite admitting you engage in it occasionally.

I’m not. You however made several accusatory statements that men are not really into their partners, if they engage in role play, sex is subpar, not varied etc. You have no clue about other people relationships and if women desire this it means their experiences were positive

I have clues about basic psychology, and the rise in these "kinky" behaviors since porn usage became widespread. Or the fact that a much higher percentage of women who engage in these behavior are CSA victims. Calling out these facts is not an "accusatory statement", but rather a basic reality. I also have friends and realize that most of the women I know who are big into kink dont really seem able to maintain long term relationships with men, tend to report unsatisfying sex lives, dont get as much interest from men, etc. Again, if such information sharing triggers you, I urge you to avoid public forums where these kinds of discussions occur.

Guy here that rarely watched porn and never saw the kinks I have represented in porn.

My kinks all stem from actions or were discovered with woman in both intimate and non intimate scenarios.

A lot of my kinks are sensory related and 90% of them can be satisfied outside of the bedroom fully clothed, yet still deeply intimate situations.

Exactly - sone BDSM plays are not even sex acts ! People are truly clueless here. Him “ordering” me to unnoticeably put my soft bra in his pocket at dinner with friends. Or secretly “torturing” with a remote control toy hidden inside me… while everyone at dinner is clueless. They “rewarding” me after dinner at home
How come it’s so infuriating to people ??!

Seems like this started with actual sec. So you are moving the goalposts. Again.

What I described is part of role play that can be visual, communicative, and auditory

And?

It meant to say that you view role play very narrowly- as something violent, exploitative of women and rigid.
The same article and many studies say that extremely conservative and restrictive sexually upbringing can also result in kinks. Catholic priests who couldn’t marry were into little boys…

Think of it please. Women who didn’t have sexual freedoms in early stages of life, marry early for religious reasons, or under family pressure, tend to actively re-discover kinks and their sexuality post divorce

I’m not the person you are fighting with. I’m just observing that you shift position as the argument moves. First, it was all about dominant sex acts with quasi violent descriptions, and now you say people are upset about things that are not even sex acts or violent. No said that by the way. And I’m not characterizing anything - I’m taking your words.

But since you asked me to think about it - can you think about what sex would look like when a woman didn’t have sexual freedom and see the parallels? That’s what the other PP was asking you to do.

The sex would be mostly him taking her from behind like animals do for reproduction (what men prefer as it gives them most flexibility to cum intensely themselves without thinking of the woman much). No kinks to play or discuss. No orgasm for women or right to ask do it in a specific way she enjoys.

Or it might look like: tying her down, smacking her around, calling her names, etc. All scenarios which are super common in BDSM.

No - it’s in your head. Animals just f…k quickly and part ways. No female would voluntarily allow coitus if the male was violent .
BDSM is not violent sex - it’s a very narrow view at this

That's a common BDSM dynamic too, lol. You sound very uneducated on the topic. And yes plenty of it is violent- how do you know so little about this subject yet feel so strongly?

You don’t see the difference between consent and no consent . No, violence is not common in BDSM. In fact partners discuss the comfort and pressure levels at all times. My best most caring lovers were men who were into role play

Ever heard of CNC?

[Anonymous]

TLDR but does he go downtown and is he good at that? If that is good, I can live with vanilla.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:imagine saying the sex is bad because the guy won’t beat the crap out of you…and then getting mad when people tell you that’s not normal.

Exactly... and trying to blame the guy for it. Sorry, not everyone is sexually traumatized or needs to be in order to get their nut. Absolutely cringe.

There is a number of commenters here who try to disparage pretty non-violent innocent bedroom play for some reason. Hope you get your O in missionary at last, and stop worrying so much aabout what other women enjoy

I'm not the one whining about my trash sex life because I need to be called the c-word and hit in order to get off. Truly tragic. I'll continue to enjoy my AMAZING sex life, yes, in missionary and plenty of other positions, that's not based off trauma and oppression and genuinely feels fun and liberating and exploratory and joyful. You are certainly welcome to keep your very disappointing and frustrating sex life with a man who deosnt seem that into you...

Why are you so invested in what goes on in other people’s bedrooms?

Why is someone begging for advice on a public forum about how to fix their awful, unsatisfying sex life but offended when people respond?

You’re the one that’s raging.

Yea, and she’s just clueless or jealous. A man who was lucky to experience great sex with no limits with a good sub in fact will be forever grateful and devoted to that woman.

DP; I never understand comments like this. With this dynamic where each person is in a constant role, by definition your experience is limited.

There are no constant roles or expectations how exactly each time would go. We have regular romantic sex as well just anyone else. I’m not arguing - it’s in fact the vanilla sex poster who is extremely aggressive in her judgments about others sex lives

DP. It sounds pretty rigid, assuming he's always playing the same role of dominant one and youre always submissive. And yes, you certainly are arguing. You also seem pretty aggressive in your judgements on characterization of "vanilla sex" despite admitting you engage in it occasionally.

I’m not. You however made several accusatory statements that men are not really into their partners, if they engage in role play, sex is subpar, not varied etc. You have no clue about other people relationships and if women desire this it means their experiences were positive

I have clues about basic psychology, and the rise in these "kinky" behaviors since porn usage became widespread. Or the fact that a much higher percentage of women who engage in these behavior are CSA victims. Calling out these facts is not an "accusatory statement", but rather a basic reality. I also have friends and realize that most of the women I know who are big into kink dont really seem able to maintain long term relationships with men, tend to report unsatisfying sex lives, dont get as much interest from men, etc. Again, if such information sharing triggers you, I urge you to avoid public forums where these kinds of discussions occur.

Guy here that rarely watched porn and never saw the kinks I have represented in porn.

My kinks all stem from actions or were discovered with woman in both intimate and non intimate scenarios.

A lot of my kinks are sensory related and 90% of them can be satisfied outside of the bedroom fully clothed, yet still deeply intimate situations.

Exactly - sone BDSM plays are not even sex acts ! People are truly clueless here. Him “ordering” me to unnoticeably put my soft bra in his pocket at dinner with friends. Or secretly “torturing” with a remote control toy hidden inside me… while everyone at dinner is clueless. They “rewarding” me after dinner at home
How come it’s so infuriating to people ??!

Seems like this started with actual sec. So you are moving the goalposts. Again.

What I described is part of role play that can be visual, communicative, and auditory

And?

It meant to say that you view role play very narrowly- as something violent, exploitative of women and rigid.
The same article and many studies say that extremely conservative and restrictive sexually upbringing can also result in kinks. Catholic priests who couldn’t marry were into little boys…

Think of it please. Women who didn’t have sexual freedoms in early stages of life, marry early for religious reasons, or under family pressure, tend to actively re-discover kinks and their sexuality post divorce

LOL youre just confirming that it almost always comes from people with regressive/outdated sexual views that then project it onto their experience of sex, basically echoing what all the people criticizing BDSM have already been saying. There is absolutely nothing that transgresses cultural norms, rather confirms them. It's mostly people with sexual trauma and porn issues who are drawn to BDSM, that's why sexually healthy people like OP's boyfriend get icked out by it.

No I was just saying it can appear in women who had completely “normal” student marriages and then divorced. Nobody oppressed them - they just married as that was right for society, kids, husbands etc. Did what was expected of them. They didn’t watch or were addicted to porn. Didn’t have orgasm like most married US women. Then they rediscover themselves post divorce when they have more access to sex literature, new partners etc.

I personally don’t see anything wrong with it. Also don’t consider mild viewing of porn more harmful than eatables once a week

Being born and raised in regressive sexual backgrounds is also a form of trauma, so, again, you've just confirmed all the criticism. And the fact that many, many people engaging in BDSM are in fact just acting out the misogynistic and very old fashioned power dynamics they were raised in. They think theyre being edgy when theyre really playing out the same dynamics their grandma and grandpa had, lol. That's what's so funny about the fact that they think it's really something unique and shocking.

The really funny thing is that they literally need us “kink-shamers” in order to get off. If they didn’t feel like they were being subversive edgy baddies, then their kink would no longer hold appeal and they would move on to something else.

So the sensory reaction I have to a certain non sexual act my wife does, that literally gives me a euphoric high, is because you and people like you shame me?

Don’t give yourself that much credit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:imagine saying the sex is bad because the guy won’t beat the crap out of you…and then getting mad when people tell you that’s not normal.

Exactly... and trying to blame the guy for it. Sorry, not everyone is sexually traumatized or needs to be in order to get their nut. Absolutely cringe.

There is a number of commenters here who try to disparage pretty non-violent innocent bedroom play for some reason. Hope you get your O in missionary at last, and stop worrying so much aabout what other women enjoy

I'm not the one whining about my trash sex life because I need to be called the c-word and hit in order to get off. Truly tragic. I'll continue to enjoy my AMAZING sex life, yes, in missionary and plenty of other positions, that's not based off trauma and oppression and genuinely feels fun and liberating and exploratory and joyful. You are certainly welcome to keep your very disappointing and frustrating sex life with a man who deosnt seem that into you...

Why are you so invested in what goes on in other people’s bedrooms?

Why is someone begging for advice on a public forum about how to fix their awful, unsatisfying sex life but offended when people respond?

You’re the one that’s raging.

Yea, and she’s just clueless or jealous. A man who was lucky to experience great sex with no limits with a good sub in fact will be forever grateful and devoted to that woman.

DP; I never understand comments like this. With this dynamic where each person is in a constant role, by definition your experience is limited.

There are no constant roles or expectations how exactly each time would go. We have regular romantic sex as well just anyone else. I’m not arguing - it’s in fact the vanilla sex poster who is extremely aggressive in her judgments about others sex lives

DP. It sounds pretty rigid, assuming he's always playing the same role of dominant one and youre always submissive. And yes, you certainly are arguing. You also seem pretty aggressive in your judgements on characterization of "vanilla sex" despite admitting you engage in it occasionally.

I’m not. You however made several accusatory statements that men are not really into their partners, if they engage in role play, sex is subpar, not varied etc. You have no clue about other people relationships and if women desire this it means their experiences were positive

I have clues about basic psychology, and the rise in these "kinky" behaviors since porn usage became widespread. Or the fact that a much higher percentage of women who engage in these behavior are CSA victims. Calling out these facts is not an "accusatory statement", but rather a basic reality. I also have friends and realize that most of the women I know who are big into kink dont really seem able to maintain long term relationships with men, tend to report unsatisfying sex lives, dont get as much interest from men, etc. Again, if such information sharing triggers you, I urge you to avoid public forums where these kinds of discussions occur.

Guy here that rarely watched porn and never saw the kinks I have represented in porn.

My kinks all stem from actions or were discovered with woman in both intimate and non intimate scenarios.

A lot of my kinks are sensory related and 90% of them can be satisfied outside of the bedroom fully clothed, yet still deeply intimate situations.

Exactly - sone BDSM plays are not even sex acts ! People are truly clueless here. Him “ordering” me to unnoticeably put my soft bra in his pocket at dinner with friends. Or secretly “torturing” with a remote control toy hidden inside me… while everyone at dinner is clueless. They “rewarding” me after dinner at home
How come it’s so infuriating to people ??!

Seems like this started with actual sec. So you are moving the goalposts. Again.

What I described is part of role play that can be visual, communicative, and auditory

And?

It meant to say that you view role play very narrowly- as something violent, exploitative of women and rigid.
The same article and many studies say that extremely conservative and restrictive sexually upbringing can also result in kinks. Catholic priests who couldn’t marry were into little boys…

Think of it please. Women who didn’t have sexual freedoms in early stages of life, marry early for religious reasons, or under family pressure, tend to actively re-discover kinks and their sexuality post divorce

LOL youre just confirming that it almost always comes from people with regressive/outdated sexual views that then project it onto their experience of sex, basically echoing what all the people criticizing BDSM have already been saying. There is absolutely nothing that transgresses cultural norms, rather confirms them. It's mostly people with sexual trauma and porn issues who are drawn to BDSM, that's why sexually healthy people like OP's boyfriend get icked out by it.

No I was just saying it can appear in women who had completely “normal” student marriages and then divorced. Nobody oppressed them - they just married as that was right for society, kids, husbands etc. Did what was expected of them. They didn’t watch or were addicted to porn. Didn’t have orgasm like most married US women. Then they rediscover themselves post divorce when they have more access to sex literature, new partners etc.

I personally don’t see anything wrong with it. Also don’t consider mild viewing of porn more harmful than eatables once a week

Being born and raised in regressive sexual backgrounds is also a form of trauma, so, again, you've just confirmed all the criticism. And the fact that many, many people engaging in BDSM are in fact just acting out the misogynistic and very old fashioned power dynamics they were raised in. They think theyre being edgy when theyre really playing out the same dynamics their grandma and grandpa had, lol. That's what's so funny about the fact that they think it's really something unique and shocking.

The really funny thing is that they literally need us “kink-shamers” in order to get off. If they didn’t feel like they were being subversive edgy baddies, then their kink would no longer hold appeal and they would move on to something else.

So the sensory reaction I have to a certain non sexual act my wife does, that literally gives me a euphoric high, is because you and people like you shame me?

Don’t give yourself that much credit.

DP but given the behavior and posts from most of the kinksters here, it seems the performative rebellion and imagined reactions/shock from bystanders is a major part of the psychological appeal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:imagine saying the sex is bad because the guy won’t beat the crap out of you…and then getting mad when people tell you that’s not normal.

Exactly... and trying to blame the guy for it. Sorry, not everyone is sexually traumatized or needs to be in order to get their nut. Absolutely cringe.

There is a number of commenters here who try to disparage pretty non-violent innocent bedroom play for some reason. Hope you get your O in missionary at last, and stop worrying so much aabout what other women enjoy

I'm not the one whining about my trash sex life because I need to be called the c-word and hit in order to get off. Truly tragic. I'll continue to enjoy my AMAZING sex life, yes, in missionary and plenty of other positions, that's not based off trauma and oppression and genuinely feels fun and liberating and exploratory and joyful. You are certainly welcome to keep your very disappointing and frustrating sex life with a man who deosnt seem that into you...

Why are you so invested in what goes on in other people’s bedrooms?

Why is someone begging for advice on a public forum about how to fix their awful, unsatisfying sex life but offended when people respond?

You’re the one that’s raging.

Yea, and she’s just clueless or jealous. A man who was lucky to experience great sex with no limits with a good sub in fact will be forever grateful and devoted to that woman.

DP; I never understand comments like this. With this dynamic where each person is in a constant role, by definition your experience is limited.

There are no constant roles or expectations how exactly each time would go. We have regular romantic sex as well just anyone else. I’m not arguing - it’s in fact the vanilla sex poster who is extremely aggressive in her judgments about others sex lives

DP. It sounds pretty rigid, assuming he's always playing the same role of dominant one and youre always submissive. And yes, you certainly are arguing. You also seem pretty aggressive in your judgements on characterization of "vanilla sex" despite admitting you engage in it occasionally.

I’m not. You however made several accusatory statements that men are not really into their partners, if they engage in role play, sex is subpar, not varied etc. You have no clue about other people relationships and if women desire this it means their experiences were positive

I have clues about basic psychology, and the rise in these "kinky" behaviors since porn usage became widespread. Or the fact that a much higher percentage of women who engage in these behavior are CSA victims. Calling out these facts is not an "accusatory statement", but rather a basic reality. I also have friends and realize that most of the women I know who are big into kink dont really seem able to maintain long term relationships with men, tend to report unsatisfying sex lives, dont get as much interest from men, etc. Again, if such information sharing triggers you, I urge you to avoid public forums where these kinds of discussions occur.

Guy here that rarely watched porn and never saw the kinks I have represented in porn.

My kinks all stem from actions or were discovered with woman in both intimate and non intimate scenarios.

A lot of my kinks are sensory related and 90% of them can be satisfied outside of the bedroom fully clothed, yet still deeply intimate situations.

Exactly - sone BDSM plays are not even sex acts ! People are truly clueless here. Him “ordering” me to unnoticeably put my soft bra in his pocket at dinner with friends. Or secretly “torturing” with a remote control toy hidden inside me… while everyone at dinner is clueless. They “rewarding” me after dinner at home
How come it’s so infuriating to people ??!

Seems like this started with actual sec. So you are moving the goalposts. Again.

What I described is part of role play that can be visual, communicative, and auditory

And?

It meant to say that you view role play very narrowly- as something violent, exploitative of women and rigid.
The same article and many studies say that extremely conservative and restrictive sexually upbringing can also result in kinks. Catholic priests who couldn’t marry were into little boys…

Think of it please. Women who didn’t have sexual freedoms in early stages of life, marry early for religious reasons, or under family pressure, tend to actively re-discover kinks and their sexuality post divorce

LOL youre just confirming that it almost always comes from people with regressive/outdated sexual views that then project it onto their experience of sex, basically echoing what all the people criticizing BDSM have already been saying. There is absolutely nothing that transgresses cultural norms, rather confirms them. It's mostly people with sexual trauma and porn issues who are drawn to BDSM, that's why sexually healthy people like OP's boyfriend get icked out by it.

No I was just saying it can appear in women who had completely “normal” student marriages and then divorced. Nobody oppressed them - they just married as that was right for society, kids, husbands etc. Did what was expected of them. They didn’t watch or were addicted to porn. Didn’t have orgasm like most married US women. Then they rediscover themselves post divorce when they have more access to sex literature, new partners etc.

I personally don’t see anything wrong with it. Also don’t consider mild viewing of porn more harmful than eatables once a week

Being born and raised in regressive sexual backgrounds is also a form of trauma, so, again, you've just confirmed all the criticism. And the fact that many, many people engaging in BDSM are in fact just acting out the misogynistic and very old fashioned power dynamics they were raised in. They think theyre being edgy when theyre really playing out the same dynamics their grandma and grandpa had, lol. That's what's so funny about the fact that they think it's really something unique and shocking.

The really funny thing is that they literally need us “kink-shamers” in order to get off. If they didn’t feel like they were being subversive edgy baddies, then their kink would no longer hold appeal and they would move on to something else.

So the sensory reaction I have to a certain non sexual act my wife does, that literally gives me a euphoric high, is because you and people like you shame me?

Don’t give yourself that much credit.

DP. Are you disputing that good sec has a psychological component? If so, that’s quite a different take than much of what’s been posted and what we usually read on these threads.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:imagine saying the sex is bad because the guy won’t beat the crap out of you…and then getting mad when people tell you that’s not normal.

Exactly... and trying to blame the guy for it. Sorry, not everyone is sexually traumatized or needs to be in order to get their nut. Absolutely cringe.

There is a number of commenters here who try to disparage pretty non-violent innocent bedroom play for some reason. Hope you get your O in missionary at last, and stop worrying so much aabout what other women enjoy

I'm not the one whining about my trash sex life because I need to be called the c-word and hit in order to get off. Truly tragic. I'll continue to enjoy my AMAZING sex life, yes, in missionary and plenty of other positions, that's not based off trauma and oppression and genuinely feels fun and liberating and exploratory and joyful. You are certainly welcome to keep your very disappointing and frustrating sex life with a man who deosnt seem that into you...

Why are you so invested in what goes on in other people’s bedrooms?

Why is someone begging for advice on a public forum about how to fix their awful, unsatisfying sex life but offended when people respond?

You’re the one that’s raging.

Yea, and she’s just clueless or jealous. A man who was lucky to experience great sex with no limits with a good sub in fact will be forever grateful and devoted to that woman.

DP; I never understand comments like this. With this dynamic where each person is in a constant role, by definition your experience is limited.

There are no constant roles or expectations how exactly each time would go. We have regular romantic sex as well just anyone else. I’m not arguing - it’s in fact the vanilla sex poster who is extremely aggressive in her judgments about others sex lives

DP. It sounds pretty rigid, assuming he's always playing the same role of dominant one and youre always submissive. And yes, you certainly are arguing. You also seem pretty aggressive in your judgements on characterization of "vanilla sex" despite admitting you engage in it occasionally.

I’m not. You however made several accusatory statements that men are not really into their partners, if they engage in role play, sex is subpar, not varied etc. You have no clue about other people relationships and if women desire this it means their experiences were positive

I have clues about basic psychology, and the rise in these "kinky" behaviors since porn usage became widespread. Or the fact that a much higher percentage of women who engage in these behavior are CSA victims. Calling out these facts is not an "accusatory statement", but rather a basic reality. I also have friends and realize that most of the women I know who are big into kink dont really seem able to maintain long term relationships with men, tend to report unsatisfying sex lives, dont get as much interest from men, etc. Again, if such information sharing triggers you, I urge you to avoid public forums where these kinds of discussions occur.

Guy here that rarely watched porn and never saw the kinks I have represented in porn.

My kinks all stem from actions or were discovered with woman in both intimate and non intimate scenarios.

A lot of my kinks are sensory related and 90% of them can be satisfied outside of the bedroom fully clothed, yet still deeply intimate situations.

Exactly - sone BDSM plays are not even sex acts ! People are truly clueless here. Him “ordering” me to unnoticeably put my soft bra in his pocket at dinner with friends. Or secretly “torturing” with a remote control toy hidden inside me… while everyone at dinner is clueless. They “rewarding” me after dinner at home
How come it’s so infuriating to people ??!

Seems like this started with actual sec. So you are moving the goalposts. Again.

What I described is part of role play that can be visual, communicative, and auditory

And?

It meant to say that you view role play very narrowly- as something violent, exploitative of women and rigid.
The same article and many studies say that extremely conservative and restrictive sexually upbringing can also result in kinks. Catholic priests who couldn’t marry were into little boys…

Think of it please. Women who didn’t have sexual freedoms in early stages of life, marry early for religious reasons, or under family pressure, tend to actively re-discover kinks and their sexuality post divorce

LOL youre just confirming that it almost always comes from people with regressive/outdated sexual views that then project it onto their experience of sex, basically echoing what all the people criticizing BDSM have already been saying. There is absolutely nothing that transgresses cultural norms, rather confirms them. It's mostly people with sexual trauma and porn issues who are drawn to BDSM, that's why sexually healthy people like OP's boyfriend get icked out by it.

No I was just saying it can appear in women who had completely “normal” student marriages and then divorced. Nobody oppressed them - they just married as that was right for society, kids, husbands etc. Did what was expected of them. They didn’t watch or were addicted to porn. Didn’t have orgasm like most married US women. Then they rediscover themselves post divorce when they have more access to sex literature, new partners etc.

I personally don’t see anything wrong with it. Also don’t consider mild viewing of porn more harmful than eatables once a week

Being born and raised in regressive sexual backgrounds is also a form of trauma, so, again, you've just confirmed all the criticism. And the fact that many, many people engaging in BDSM are in fact just acting out the misogynistic and very old fashioned power dynamics they were raised in. They think theyre being edgy when theyre really playing out the same dynamics their grandma and grandpa had, lol. That's what's so funny about the fact that they think it's really something unique and shocking.

The really funny thing is that they literally need us “kink-shamers” in order to get off. If they didn’t feel like they were being subversive edgy baddies, then their kink would no longer hold appeal and they would move on to something else.

What are you talking about? Some people truly think universe circles around them only. When I have kinky sex the last thing is my mind is what a middle aged lady at WholeFoods would think of it

NP, sure and that's why you've been rhapsodizing for hours about how great your sex life is and regaling us with "exciting" stories about how you use your vibrator (as if anyone cares or is interested). The gag being if the sex was so good you wouldnt have so much time to sit on DCUM, lol

You are nuts. Why are you then arguing for so long on dcum ? You should be now having exiting missionary sex

Do you know what NP means?