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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Great guy but sex is mediocre "
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]imagine saying the sex is bad because the guy won’t beat the crap out of you…and then getting mad when people tell you that’s not normal. [/quote] Exactly... and trying to blame the guy for it. Sorry, not everyone is sexually traumatized or needs to be in order to get their nut. Absolutely cringe. [/quote] There is a number of commenters here who try to disparage pretty non-violent innocent bedroom play for some reason. Hope you get your O in missionary at last, and stop worrying so much about what other women enjoy [/quote] I'm not the one whining about my trash sex life because I need to be called the c-word and hit in order to get off. Truly tragic. I'll continue to enjoy my AMAZING sex life, yes, in missionary and plenty of other positions, that's not based off trauma and oppression and genuinely feels fun and liberating and exploratory and joyful. You are certainly welcome to keep your very disappointing and frustrating sex life with a man who deosnt seem that into you...[/quote] Why are you so invested in what goes on in other people’s bedrooms?[/quote] Why is someone begging for advice on a public forum about how to fix their awful, unsatisfying sex life but offended when people respond?[/quote] You’re the one that’s raging.[/quote] Yea, and she’s just clueless or jealous. A man who was lucky to experience great sex with no limits with a good sub in fact will be forever grateful and devoted to that woman. [/quote] DP; I never understand comments like this. With this dynamic where each person is in a constant role, by definition your experience is limited.[/quote] There are no constant roles or expectations how exactly each time would go. We have regular romantic sex as well just anyone else. I’m not arguing - it’s in fact the vanilla sex poster who is extremely aggressive in her judgments about others sex lives [/quote] DP. It sounds pretty rigid, assuming he's always playing the same role of dominant one and youre always submissive. And yes, you certainly are arguing. You also seem pretty aggressive in your judgements on characterization of "vanilla sex" despite admitting you engage in it occasionally.[/quote] I’m not. You however made several accusatory statements that men are not really into their partners, if they engage in role play, sex is subpar, not varied etc. You have no clue about other people relationships and if women desire this it means their experiences were positive [/quote] I have clues about basic psychology, and the rise in these "kinky" behaviors since porn usage became widespread. Or the fact that a much higher percentage of women who engage in these behavior are CSA victims. Calling out these facts is not an "accusatory statement", but rather a basic reality. I also have friends and realize that most of the women I know who are big into kink dont really seem able to maintain long term relationships with men, tend to report unsatisfying sex lives, dont get as much interest from men, etc. Again, if such information sharing triggers you, I urge you to avoid public forums where these kinds of discussions occur. [/quote] Guy here that rarely watched porn and never saw the kinks I have represented in porn. My kinks all stem from actions or were discovered with woman in both intimate and non intimate scenarios. A lot of my kinks are sensory related and 90% of them can be satisfied outside of the bedroom fully clothed, yet still deeply intimate situations. [/quote] Exactly - sone BDSM plays are not even sex acts ! People are truly clueless here. Him “ordering” me to unnoticeably put my soft bra in his pocket at dinner with friends. Or secretly “torturing” with a remote control toy hidden inside me… while everyone at dinner is clueless. They “rewarding” me after dinner at home How come it’s so infuriating to people ??![/quote] Seems like this started with actual sec. So you are moving the goalposts. Again.[/quote] What I described is part of role play that can be visual, communicative, and auditory [/quote] And? [/quote] It meant to say that you view role play very narrowly- as something violent, exploitative of women and rigid. The same article and many studies say that extremely conservative and restrictive sexually upbringing can also result in kinks. Catholic priests who couldn’t marry were into little boys… Think of it please. Women who didn’t have sexual freedoms in early stages of life, marry early for religious reasons, or under family pressure, tend to actively re-discover kinks and their sexuality post divorce [/quote] I’m not the person you are fighting with. I’m just observing that you shift position as the argument moves. First, it was all about dominant sex acts with quasi violent descriptions, and now you say people are upset about things that are not even sex acts or violent. No said that by the way. And I’m not characterizing anything - I’m taking your words. But since you asked me to think about it - can you think about what sex would look like when a woman didn’t have sexual freedom and see the parallels? That’s what the other PP was asking you to do. [/quote] The sex would be mostly him taking her from behind like animals do for reproduction (what men prefer as it gives them most flexibility to cum intensely themselves without thinking of the woman much). No kinks to play or discuss. No orgasm for women or right to ask do it in a specific way she enjoys. [/quote] Or it might look like: tying her down, smacking her around, calling her names, etc. All scenarios which are super common in BDSM.[/quote] No - it’s in your head. Animals just f…k quickly and part ways. No female would voluntarily allow coitus if the male was violent . BDSM is not violent sex - it’s a very narrow view at this [/quote] That's a common BDSM dynamic too, lol. You sound very uneducated on the topic. And yes plenty of it is violent- how do you know so little about this subject yet feel so strongly?[/quote] You don’t see the difference between consent and no consent . No, violence is not common in BDSM. In fact partners discuss the comfort and pressure levels at all times. My best most caring lovers were men who were into role play [/quote] I do see the difference, but it doesnt change the underlying dynamic or actions, duh. Me agreeing to get slapped in the face doesnt mean I didnt get slapped in the face. What's not clicking? [/quote]
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