Great guy but sex is mediocre

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This study shows that however people begin playing with elements of BDSM, they often find it sufficiently powerful, seductive, and compelling to continue that kind of erotic play.

It shows decisively that they got into largely because of porn usage. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/all-about-sex/202406/why-do-people-begin-exploring-bdsm

And? Maybe porn usage within healthy limits is not as harmful as you claim, if it results in people coming to sex practices that largely improve their sex life . Some couples watch it together

There are many more harmful things - stealing, alcohol drugs etc that should concern the humanity

And that’s what we call moving the goalposts. Half of this started because you (or another poster) was adamant this wasn’t related to porn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:imagine saying the sex is bad because the guy won’t beat the crap out of you…and then getting mad when people tell you that’s not normal.

Exactly... and trying to blame the guy for it. Sorry, not everyone is sexually traumatized or needs to be in order to get their nut. Absolutely cringe.

There is a number of commenters here who try to disparage pretty non-violent innocent bedroom play for some reason. Hope you get your O in missionary at last, and stop worrying so much about what other women enjoy

I'm not the one whining about my trash sex life because I need to be called the c-word and hit in order to get off. Truly tragic. I'll continue to enjoy my AMAZING sex life, yes, in missionary and plenty of other positions, that's not based off trauma and oppression and genuinely feels fun and liberating and exploratory and joyful. You are certainly welcome to keep your very disappointing and frustrating sex life with a man who deosnt seem that into you...

Why are you so invested in what goes on in other people’s bedrooms?

Why is someone begging for advice on a public forum about how to fix their awful, unsatisfying sex life but offended when people respond?

You’re the one that’s raging.

Yea, and she’s just clueless or jealous. A man who was lucky to experience great sex with no limits with a good sub in fact will be forever grateful and devoted to that woman.

DP; I never understand comments like this. With this dynamic where each person is in a constant role, by definition your experience is limited.

There are no constant roles or expectations how exactly each time would go. We have regular romantic sex as well just anyone else. I’m not arguing - it’s in fact the vanilla sex poster who is extremely aggressive in her judgments about others sex lives

DP. It sounds pretty rigid, assuming he's always playing the same role of dominant one and youre always submissive. And yes, you certainly are arguing. You also seem pretty aggressive in your judgements on characterization of "vanilla sex" despite admitting you engage in it occasionally.

I’m not. You however made several accusatory statements that men are not really into their partners, if they engage in role play, sex is subpar, not varied etc. You have no clue about other people relationships and if women desire this it means their experiences were positive

I have clues about basic psychology, and the rise in these "kinky" behaviors since porn usage became widespread. Or the fact that a much higher percentage of women who engage in these behavior are CSA victims. Calling out these facts is not an "accusatory statement", but rather a basic reality. I also have friends and realize that most of the women I know who are big into kink dont really seem able to maintain long term relationships with men, tend to report unsatisfying sex lives, dont get as much interest from men, etc. Again, if such information sharing triggers you, I urge you to avoid public forums where these kinds of discussions occur.

Guy here that rarely watched porn and never saw the kinks I have represented in porn.

My kinks all stem from actions or were discovered with woman in both intimate and non intimate scenarios.

A lot of my kinks are sensory related and 90% of them can be satisfied outside of the bedroom fully clothed, yet still deeply intimate situations.

You've never seen porn or "rarely watched it" in comparison to your friends?

it's naive to think kinks just exist on their own with zero cultural context. The reality is, most people who act out kinks do so as a result of cultural conditioning. For example, "cuck" fantasies are fairly widespread in the US but much, much rarer in Europe due to different cultural standards. Most people think they come to their kinks independently when the reality is theyve mostly been conditioned and eaten up without questioning anything.

DP. I genuinely curious. If a person doesn’t watch pron, then where does the cultural conditioning come from?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:imagine saying the sex is bad because the guy won’t beat the crap out of you…and then getting mad when people tell you that’s not normal.

Exactly... and trying to blame the guy for it. Sorry, not everyone is sexually traumatized or needs to be in order to get their nut. Absolutely cringe.

There is a number of commenters here who try to disparage pretty non-violent innocent bedroom play for some reason. Hope you get your O in missionary at last, and stop worrying so much about what other women enjoy

I'm not the one whining about my trash sex life because I need to be called the c-word and hit in order to get off. Truly tragic. I'll continue to enjoy my AMAZING sex life, yes, in missionary and plenty of other positions, that's not based off trauma and oppression and genuinely feels fun and liberating and exploratory and joyful. You are certainly welcome to keep your very disappointing and frustrating sex life with a man who deosnt seem that into you...

Why are you so invested in what goes on in other people’s bedrooms?

Why is someone begging for advice on a public forum about how to fix their awful, unsatisfying sex life but offended when people respond?

You’re the one that’s raging.

Yea, and she’s just clueless or jealous. A man who was lucky to experience great sex with no limits with a good sub in fact will be forever grateful and devoted to that woman.

DP; I never understand comments like this. With this dynamic where each person is in a constant role, by definition your experience is limited.

There are no constant roles or expectations how exactly each time would go. We have regular romantic sex as well just anyone else. I’m not arguing - it’s in fact the vanilla sex poster who is extremely aggressive in her judgments about others sex lives

DP. It sounds pretty rigid, assuming he's always playing the same role of dominant one and youre always submissive. And yes, you certainly are arguing. You also seem pretty aggressive in your judgements on characterization of "vanilla sex" despite admitting you engage in it occasionally.

I’m not. You however made several accusatory statements that men are not really into their partners, if they engage in role play, sex is subpar, not varied etc. You have no clue about other people relationships and if women desire this it means their experiences were positive

I have clues about basic psychology, and the rise in these "kinky" behaviors since porn usage became widespread. Or the fact that a much higher percentage of women who engage in these behavior are CSA victims. Calling out these facts is not an "accusatory statement", but rather a basic reality. I also have friends and realize that most of the women I know who are big into kink dont really seem able to maintain long term relationships with men, tend to report unsatisfying sex lives, dont get as much interest from men, etc. Again, if such information sharing triggers you, I urge you to avoid public forums where these kinds of discussions occur.

Guy here that rarely watched porn and never saw the kinks I have represented in porn.

My kinks all stem from actions or were discovered with woman in both intimate and non intimate scenarios.

A lot of my kinks are sensory related and 90% of them can be satisfied outside of the bedroom fully clothed, yet still deeply intimate situations.

You've never seen porn or "rarely watched it" in comparison to your friends?

it's naive to think kinks just exist on their own with zero cultural context. The reality is, most people who act out kinks do so as a result of cultural conditioning. For example, "cuck" fantasies are fairly widespread in the US but much, much rarer in Europe due to different cultural standards. Most people think they come to their kinks independently when the reality is theyve mostly been conditioned and eaten up without questioning anything.

Listen you are posting here pretense science. There is no NIH or any widely recognized study saying porn addiction causes BDSM. It could be the other way around - people tend to like viewing in porn things that they simply already find sexy or have natural inclinations

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:imagine saying the sex is bad because the guy won’t beat the crap out of you…and then getting mad when people tell you that’s not normal.

Exactly... and trying to blame the guy for it. Sorry, not everyone is sexually traumatized or needs to be in order to get their nut. Absolutely cringe.

There is a number of commenters here who try to disparage pretty non-violent innocent bedroom play for some reason. Hope you get your O in missionary at last, and stop worrying so much about what other women enjoy

I'm not the one whining about my trash sex life because I need to be called the c-word and hit in order to get off. Truly tragic. I'll continue to enjoy my AMAZING sex life, yes, in missionary and plenty of other positions, that's not based off trauma and oppression and genuinely feels fun and liberating and exploratory and joyful. You are certainly welcome to keep your very disappointing and frustrating sex life with a man who deosnt seem that into you...

Why are you so invested in what goes on in other people’s bedrooms?

Why is someone begging for advice on a public forum about how to fix their awful, unsatisfying sex life but offended when people respond?

You’re the one that’s raging.

Yea, and she’s just clueless or jealous. A man who was lucky to experience great sex with no limits with a good sub in fact will be forever grateful and devoted to that woman.

DP; I never understand comments like this. With this dynamic where each person is in a constant role, by definition your experience is limited.

There are no constant roles or expectations how exactly each time would go. We have regular romantic sex as well just anyone else. I’m not arguing - it’s in fact the vanilla sex poster who is extremely aggressive in her judgments about others sex lives

DP. It sounds pretty rigid, assuming he's always playing the same role of dominant one and youre always submissive. And yes, you certainly are arguing. You also seem pretty aggressive in your judgements on characterization of "vanilla sex" despite admitting you engage in it occasionally.

I’m not. You however made several accusatory statements that men are not really into their partners, if they engage in role play, sex is subpar, not varied etc. You have no clue about other people relationships and if women desire this it means their experiences were positive

I have clues about basic psychology, and the rise in these "kinky" behaviors since porn usage became widespread. Or the fact that a much higher percentage of women who engage in these behavior are CSA victims. Calling out these facts is not an "accusatory statement", but rather a basic reality. I also have friends and realize that most of the women I know who are big into kink dont really seem able to maintain long term relationships with men, tend to report unsatisfying sex lives, dont get as much interest from men, etc. Again, if such information sharing triggers you, I urge you to avoid public forums where these kinds of discussions occur.

Guy here that rarely watched porn and never saw the kinks I have represented in porn.

My kinks all stem from actions or were discovered with woman in both intimate and non intimate scenarios.

A lot of my kinks are sensory related and 90% of them can be satisfied outside of the bedroom fully clothed, yet still deeply intimate situations.

Exactly - sone BDSM plays are not even sex acts ! People are truly clueless here. Him “ordering” me to unnoticeably put my soft bra in his pocket at dinner with friends. Or secretly “torturing” with a remote control toy hidden inside me… while everyone at dinner is clueless. They “rewarding” me after dinner at home
How come it’s so infuriating to people ??!

Seems like this started with actual sec. So you are moving the goalposts. Again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:imagine saying the sex is bad because the guy won’t beat the crap out of you…and then getting mad when people tell you that’s not normal.

Exactly... and trying to blame the guy for it. Sorry, not everyone is sexually traumatized or needs to be in order to get their nut. Absolutely cringe.

There is a number of commenters here who try to disparage pretty non-violent innocent bedroom play for some reason. Hope you get your O in missionary at last, and stop worrying so much about what other women enjoy

I'm not the one whining about my trash sex life because I need to be called the c-word and hit in order to get off. Truly tragic. I'll continue to enjoy my AMAZING sex life, yes, in missionary and plenty of other positions, that's not based off trauma and oppression and genuinely feels fun and liberating and exploratory and joyful. You are certainly welcome to keep your very disappointing and frustrating sex life with a man who deosnt seem that into you...

Why are you so invested in what goes on in other people’s bedrooms?

Why is someone begging for advice on a public forum about how to fix their awful, unsatisfying sex life but offended when people respond?

You’re the one that’s raging.

Yea, and she’s just clueless or jealous. A man who was lucky to experience great sex with no limits with a good sub in fact will be forever grateful and devoted to that woman.

DP; I never understand comments like this. With this dynamic where each person is in a constant role, by definition your experience is limited.

There are no constant roles or expectations how exactly each time would go. We have regular romantic sex as well just anyone else. I’m not arguing - it’s in fact the vanilla sex poster who is extremely aggressive in her judgments about others sex lives

DP. It sounds pretty rigid, assuming he's always playing the same role of dominant one and youre always submissive. And yes, you certainly are arguing. You also seem pretty aggressive in your judgements on characterization of "vanilla sex" despite admitting you engage in it occasionally.

I’m not. You however made several accusatory statements that men are not really into their partners, if they engage in role play, sex is subpar, not varied etc. You have no clue about other people relationships and if women desire this it means their experiences were positive

I have clues about basic psychology, and the rise in these "kinky" behaviors since porn usage became widespread. Or the fact that a much higher percentage of women who engage in these behavior are CSA victims. Calling out these facts is not an "accusatory statement", but rather a basic reality. I also have friends and realize that most of the women I know who are big into kink dont really seem able to maintain long term relationships with men, tend to report unsatisfying sex lives, dont get as much interest from men, etc. Again, if such information sharing triggers you, I urge you to avoid public forums where these kinds of discussions occur.

Guy here that rarely watched porn and never saw the kinks I have represented in porn.

My kinks all stem from actions or were discovered with woman in both intimate and non intimate scenarios.

A lot of my kinks are sensory related and 90% of them can be satisfied outside of the bedroom fully clothed, yet still deeply intimate situations.

You've never seen porn or "rarely watched it" in comparison to your friends?

it's naive to think kinks just exist on their own with zero cultural context. The reality is, most people who act out kinks do so as a result of cultural conditioning. For example, "cuck" fantasies are fairly widespread in the US but much, much rarer in Europe due to different cultural standards. Most people think they come to their kinks independently when the reality is theyve mostly been conditioned and eaten up without questioning anything.

DP. I genuinely curious. If a person doesn’t watch pron, then where does the cultural conditioning come from?

Books, movies, TV, friends, relationships. Everything has some influence.

[Anonymous]

For many people and particular women it’s sensory! Women are not as often addicted to porn as men and yet they enjoy BDSM
When I consulted with a sexologist on this I was told that my inclination is because I experience O differently from other women. I do need harder impact and pressure on some areas inside. Also in some women the same part of brain that’s responsible for pain is regulating pleasure. This was well studied in rats - brain sections for pain and pleasure are located next to each other. Some people experience orgasm in life threatening or end of life situations - it’s a well known studied fact

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:imagine saying the sex is bad because the guy won’t beat the crap out of you…and then getting mad when people tell you that’s not normal.

Exactly... and trying to blame the guy for it. Sorry, not everyone is sexually traumatized or needs to be in order to get their nut. Absolutely cringe.

There is a number of commenters here who try to disparage pretty non-violent innocent bedroom play for some reason. Hope you get your O in missionary at last, and stop worrying so much about what other women enjoy

I'm not the one whining about my trash sex life because I need to be called the c-word and hit in order to get off. Truly tragic. I'll continue to enjoy my AMAZING sex life, yes, in missionary and plenty of other positions, that's not based off trauma and oppression and genuinely feels fun and liberating and exploratory and joyful. You are certainly welcome to keep your very disappointing and frustrating sex life with a man who deosnt seem that into you...

Why are you so invested in what goes on in other people’s bedrooms?

Why is someone begging for advice on a public forum about how to fix their awful, unsatisfying sex life but offended when people respond?

You’re the one that’s raging.

Yea, and she’s just clueless or jealous. A man who was lucky to experience great sex with no limits with a good sub in fact will be forever grateful and devoted to that woman.

DP; I never understand comments like this. With this dynamic where each person is in a constant role, by definition your experience is limited.

There are no constant roles or expectations how exactly each time would go. We have regular romantic sex as well just anyone else. I’m not arguing - it’s in fact the vanilla sex poster who is extremely aggressive in her judgments about others sex lives

DP. It sounds pretty rigid, assuming he's always playing the same role of dominant one and youre always submissive. And yes, you certainly are arguing. You also seem pretty aggressive in your judgements on characterization of "vanilla sex" despite admitting you engage in it occasionally.

I’m not. You however made several accusatory statements that men are not really into their partners, if they engage in role play, sex is subpar, not varied etc. You have no clue about other people relationships and if women desire this it means their experiences were positive

I have clues about basic psychology, and the rise in these "kinky" behaviors since porn usage became widespread. Or the fact that a much higher percentage of women who engage in these behavior are CSA victims. Calling out these facts is not an "accusatory statement", but rather a basic reality. I also have friends and realize that most of the women I know who are big into kink dont really seem able to maintain long term relationships with men, tend to report unsatisfying sex lives, dont get as much interest from men, etc. Again, if such information sharing triggers you, I urge you to avoid public forums where these kinds of discussions occur.

Guy here that rarely watched porn and never saw the kinks I have represented in porn.

My kinks all stem from actions or were discovered with woman in both intimate and non intimate scenarios.

A lot of my kinks are sensory related and 90% of them can be satisfied outside of the bedroom fully clothed, yet still deeply intimate situations.

Exactly - sone BDSM plays are not even sex acts ! People are truly clueless here. Him “ordering” me to unnoticeably put my soft bra in his pocket at dinner with friends. Or secretly “torturing” with a remote control toy hidden inside me… while everyone at dinner is clueless. They “rewarding” me after dinner at home
How come it’s so infuriating to people ??!

Seems like this started with actual sec. So you are moving the goalposts. Again.

What I described is part of role play that can be visual, communicative, and auditory

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:imagine saying the sex is bad because the guy won’t beat the crap out of you…and then getting mad when people tell you that’s not normal.

Exactly... and trying to blame the guy for it. Sorry, not everyone is sexually traumatized or needs to be in order to get their nut. Absolutely cringe.

There is a number of commenters here who try to disparage pretty non-violent innocent bedroom play for some reason. Hope you get your O in missionary at last, and stop worrying so much about what other women enjoy

I'm not the one whining about my trash sex life because I need to be called the c-word and hit in order to get off. Truly tragic. I'll continue to enjoy my AMAZING sex life, yes, in missionary and plenty of other positions, that's not based off trauma and oppression and genuinely feels fun and liberating and exploratory and joyful. You are certainly welcome to keep your very disappointing and frustrating sex life with a man who deosnt seem that into you...

Why are you so invested in what goes on in other people’s bedrooms?

Why is someone begging for advice on a public forum about how to fix their awful, unsatisfying sex life but offended when people respond?

You’re the one that’s raging.

Yea, and she’s just clueless or jealous. A man who was lucky to experience great sex with no limits with a good sub in fact will be forever grateful and devoted to that woman.

DP; I never understand comments like this. With this dynamic where each person is in a constant role, by definition your experience is limited.

There are no constant roles or expectations how exactly each time would go. We have regular romantic sex as well just anyone else. I’m not arguing - it’s in fact the vanilla sex poster who is extremely aggressive in her judgments about others sex lives

DP. It sounds pretty rigid, assuming he's always playing the same role of dominant one and youre always submissive. And yes, you certainly are arguing. You also seem pretty aggressive in your judgements on characterization of "vanilla sex" despite admitting you engage in it occasionally.

I’m not. You however made several accusatory statements that men are not really into their partners, if they engage in role play, sex is subpar, not varied etc. You have no clue about other people relationships and if women desire this it means their experiences were positive

I have clues about basic psychology, and the rise in these "kinky" behaviors since porn usage became widespread. Or the fact that a much higher percentage of women who engage in these behavior are CSA victims. Calling out these facts is not an "accusatory statement", but rather a basic reality. I also have friends and realize that most of the women I know who are big into kink dont really seem able to maintain long term relationships with men, tend to report unsatisfying sex lives, dont get as much interest from men, etc. Again, if such information sharing triggers you, I urge you to avoid public forums where these kinds of discussions occur.

Guy here that rarely watched porn and never saw the kinks I have represented in porn.

My kinks all stem from actions or were discovered with woman in both intimate and non intimate scenarios.

A lot of my kinks are sensory related and 90% of them can be satisfied outside of the bedroom fully clothed, yet still deeply intimate situations.

Exactly - sone BDSM plays are not even sex acts ! People are truly clueless here. Him “ordering” me to unnoticeably put my soft bra in his pocket at dinner with friends. Or secretly “torturing” with a remote control toy hidden inside me… while everyone at dinner is clueless. They “rewarding” me after dinner at home
How come it’s so infuriating to people ??!

Seems like this started with actual sec. So you are moving the goalposts. Again.

What I described is part of role play that can be visual, communicative, and auditory

And?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:imagine saying the sex is bad because the guy won’t beat the crap out of you…and then getting mad when people tell you that’s not normal.

Exactly... and trying to blame the guy for it. Sorry, not everyone is sexually traumatized or needs to be in order to get their nut. Absolutely cringe.

There is a number of commenters here who try to disparage pretty non-violent innocent bedroom play for some reason. Hope you get your O in missionary at last, and stop worrying so much about what other women enjoy

I'm not the one whining about my trash sex life because I need to be called the c-word and hit in order to get off. Truly tragic. I'll continue to enjoy my AMAZING sex life, yes, in missionary and plenty of other positions, that's not based off trauma and oppression and genuinely feels fun and liberating and exploratory and joyful. You are certainly welcome to keep your very disappointing and frustrating sex life with a man who deosnt seem that into you...

Why are you so invested in what goes on in other people’s bedrooms?

Why is someone begging for advice on a public forum about how to fix their awful, unsatisfying sex life but offended when people respond?

You’re the one that’s raging.

Yea, and she’s just clueless or jealous. A man who was lucky to experience great sex with no limits with a good sub in fact will be forever grateful and devoted to that woman.

DP; I never understand comments like this. With this dynamic where each person is in a constant role, by definition your experience is limited.

There are no constant roles or expectations how exactly each time would go. We have regular romantic sex as well just anyone else. I’m not arguing - it’s in fact the vanilla sex poster who is extremely aggressive in her judgments about others sex lives

DP. It sounds pretty rigid, assuming he's always playing the same role of dominant one and youre always submissive. And yes, you certainly are arguing. You also seem pretty aggressive in your judgements on characterization of "vanilla sex" despite admitting you engage in it occasionally.

I’m not. You however made several accusatory statements that men are not really into their partners, if they engage in role play, sex is subpar, not varied etc. You have no clue about other people relationships and if women desire this it means their experiences were positive

I have clues about basic psychology, and the rise in these "kinky" behaviors since porn usage became widespread. Or the fact that a much higher percentage of women who engage in these behavior are CSA victims. Calling out these facts is not an "accusatory statement", but rather a basic reality. I also have friends and realize that most of the women I know who are big into kink dont really seem able to maintain long term relationships with men, tend to report unsatisfying sex lives, dont get as much interest from men, etc. Again, if such information sharing triggers you, I urge you to avoid public forums where these kinds of discussions occur.

Guy here that rarely watched porn and never saw the kinks I have represented in porn.

My kinks all stem from actions or were discovered with woman in both intimate and non intimate scenarios.

A lot of my kinks are sensory related and 90% of them can be satisfied outside of the bedroom fully clothed, yet still deeply intimate situations.

You've never seen porn or "rarely watched it" in comparison to your friends?

it's naive to think kinks just exist on their own with zero cultural context. The reality is, most people who act out kinks do so as a result of cultural conditioning. For example, "cuck" fantasies are fairly widespread in the US but much, much rarer in Europe due to different cultural standards. Most people think they come to their kinks independently when the reality is theyve mostly been conditioned and eaten up without questioning anything.

Because relationships for the purpose of just sex, even with the primary partner’s knowledge are more widely accepted in Europe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:imagine saying the sex is bad because the guy won’t beat the crap out of you…and then getting mad when people tell you that’s not normal.

Exactly... and trying to blame the guy for it. Sorry, not everyone is sexually traumatized or needs to be in order to get their nut. Absolutely cringe.

There is a number of commenters here who try to disparage pretty non-violent innocent bedroom play for some reason. Hope you get your O in missionary at last, and stop worrying so much about what other women enjoy

I'm not the one whining about my trash sex life because I need to be called the c-word and hit in order to get off. Truly tragic. I'll continue to enjoy my AMAZING sex life, yes, in missionary and plenty of other positions, that's not based off trauma and oppression and genuinely feels fun and liberating and exploratory and joyful. You are certainly welcome to keep your very disappointing and frustrating sex life with a man who deosnt seem that into you...

Why are you so invested in what goes on in other people’s bedrooms?

Why is someone begging for advice on a public forum about how to fix their awful, unsatisfying sex life but offended when people respond?

You’re the one that’s raging.

Yea, and she’s just clueless or jealous. A man who was lucky to experience great sex with no limits with a good sub in fact will be forever grateful and devoted to that woman.

DP; I never understand comments like this. With this dynamic where each person is in a constant role, by definition your experience is limited.

There are no constant roles or expectations how exactly each time would go. We have regular romantic sex as well just anyone else. I’m not arguing - it’s in fact the vanilla sex poster who is extremely aggressive in her judgments about others sex lives

DP. It sounds pretty rigid, assuming he's always playing the same role of dominant one and youre always submissive. And yes, you certainly are arguing. You also seem pretty aggressive in your judgements on characterization of "vanilla sex" despite admitting you engage in it occasionally.

I’m not. You however made several accusatory statements that men are not really into their partners, if they engage in role play, sex is subpar, not varied etc. You have no clue about other people relationships and if women desire this it means their experiences were positive

I have clues about basic psychology, and the rise in these "kinky" behaviors since porn usage became widespread. Or the fact that a much higher percentage of women who engage in these behavior are CSA victims. Calling out these facts is not an "accusatory statement", but rather a basic reality. I also have friends and realize that most of the women I know who are big into kink dont really seem able to maintain long term relationships with men, tend to report unsatisfying sex lives, dont get as much interest from men, etc. Again, if such information sharing triggers you, I urge you to avoid public forums where these kinds of discussions occur.

Guy here that rarely watched porn and never saw the kinks I have represented in porn.

My kinks all stem from actions or were discovered with woman in both intimate and non intimate scenarios.

A lot of my kinks are sensory related and 90% of them can be satisfied outside of the bedroom fully clothed, yet still deeply intimate situations.

You've never seen porn or "rarely watched it" in comparison to your friends?

it's naive to think kinks just exist on their own with zero cultural context. The reality is, most people who act out kinks do so as a result of cultural conditioning. For example, "cuck" fantasies are fairly widespread in the US but much, much rarer in Europe due to different cultural standards. Most people think they come to their kinks independently when the reality is theyve mostly been conditioned and eaten up without questioning anything.

Your view of kinks is pretty narrow.

My kinks are very specific and not what most people would think of or imagine. Even when satisfying my spouse’s degradation kink it isn’t what people think of. In fact the challenge is finding unique less obvious and unpredictable ways to satisfy her needs.

[Anonymous]

OP and everyone is else on the thread who is into the same things as OP needs to find partners in specific places where you all share these interests. It’s not fair to put someone in this position who doesn’t want to do the things you want to do. These things are off the mainstream which means you need to look for partners specially in places that are for that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:imagine saying the sex is bad because the guy won’t beat the crap out of you…and then getting mad when people tell you that’s not normal.

Exactly... and trying to blame the guy for it. Sorry, not everyone is sexually traumatized or needs to be in order to get their nut. Absolutely cringe.

There is a number of commenters here who try to disparage pretty non-violent innocent bedroom play for some reason. Hope you get your O in missionary at last, and stop worrying so much about what other women enjoy

I'm not the one whining about my trash sex life because I need to be called the c-word and hit in order to get off. Truly tragic. I'll continue to enjoy my AMAZING sex life, yes, in missionary and plenty of other positions, that's not based off trauma and oppression and genuinely feels fun and liberating and exploratory and joyful. You are certainly welcome to keep your very disappointing and frustrating sex life with a man who deosnt seem that into you...

Why are you so invested in what goes on in other people’s bedrooms?

Why is someone begging for advice on a public forum about how to fix their awful, unsatisfying sex life but offended when people respond?

You’re the one that’s raging.

Yea, and she’s just clueless or jealous. A man who was lucky to experience great sex with no limits with a good sub in fact will be forever grateful and devoted to that woman.

DP; I never understand comments like this. With this dynamic where each person is in a constant role, by definition your experience is limited.

There are no constant roles or expectations how exactly each time would go. We have regular romantic sex as well just anyone else. I’m not arguing - it’s in fact the vanilla sex poster who is extremely aggressive in her judgments about others sex lives

DP. It sounds pretty rigid, assuming he's always playing the same role of dominant one and youre always submissive. And yes, you certainly are arguing. You also seem pretty aggressive in your judgements on characterization of "vanilla sex" despite admitting you engage in it occasionally.

I’m not. You however made several accusatory statements that men are not really into their partners, if they engage in role play, sex is subpar, not varied etc. You have no clue about other people relationships and if women desire this it means their experiences were positive

I have clues about basic psychology, and the rise in these "kinky" behaviors since porn usage became widespread. Or the fact that a much higher percentage of women who engage in these behavior are CSA victims. Calling out these facts is not an "accusatory statement", but rather a basic reality. I also have friends and realize that most of the women I know who are big into kink dont really seem able to maintain long term relationships with men, tend to report unsatisfying sex lives, dont get as much interest from men, etc. Again, if such information sharing triggers you, I urge you to avoid public forums where these kinds of discussions occur.

Guy here that rarely watched porn and never saw the kinks I have represented in porn.

My kinks all stem from actions or were discovered with woman in both intimate and non intimate scenarios.

A lot of my kinks are sensory related and 90% of them can be satisfied outside of the bedroom fully clothed, yet still deeply intimate situations.

You've never seen porn or "rarely watched it" in comparison to your friends?

it's naive to think kinks just exist on their own with zero cultural context. The reality is, most people who act out kinks do so as a result of cultural conditioning. For example, "cuck" fantasies are fairly widespread in the US but much, much rarer in Europe due to different cultural standards. Most people think they come to their kinks independently when the reality is theyve mostly been conditioned and eaten up without questioning anything.

Because relationships for the purpose of just sex, even with the primary partner’s knowledge are more widely accepted in Europe.

Hahahahaha all I can say. When US tech billionaires solicit sex on X, their allegedly conservative girlfriends openly solicit women for threesomes etc - who are you to judge “those perverse Europeans”???

I lived in both Europe and the US. Violent perverts are way more common in the US. French love of BDSM has nothing to do with it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP and everyone is else on the thread who is into the same things as OP needs to find partners in specific places where you all share these interests. It’s not fair to put someone in this position who doesn’t want to do the things you want to do. These things are off the mainstream which means you need to look for partners specially in places that are for that.

As a woman I have right to date and meet men in all venues. I’m open about my needs and if he doesn’t want to, he’s free to seek someone else.

OP is not forcing her BF : she’s asking if she should just give up

In my opinion she should give up as he’s not even curious in learning

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:imagine saying the sex is bad because the guy won’t beat the crap out of you…and then getting mad when people tell you that’s not normal.

Exactly... and trying to blame the guy for it. Sorry, not everyone is sexually traumatized or needs to be in order to get their nut. Absolutely cringe.

There is a number of commenters here who try to disparage pretty non-violent innocent bedroom play for some reason. Hope you get your O in missionary at last, and stop worrying so much about what other women enjoy

I'm not the one whining about my trash sex life because I need to be called the c-word and hit in order to get off. Truly tragic. I'll continue to enjoy my AMAZING sex life, yes, in missionary and plenty of other positions, that's not based off trauma and oppression and genuinely feels fun and liberating and exploratory and joyful. You are certainly welcome to keep your very disappointing and frustrating sex life with a man who deosnt seem that into you...

Why are you so invested in what goes on in other people’s bedrooms?

Why is someone begging for advice on a public forum about how to fix their awful, unsatisfying sex life but offended when people respond?

You’re the one that’s raging.

Yea, and she’s just clueless or jealous. A man who was lucky to experience great sex with no limits with a good sub in fact will be forever grateful and devoted to that woman.

DP; I never understand comments like this. With this dynamic where each person is in a constant role, by definition your experience is limited.

There are no constant roles or expectations how exactly each time would go. We have regular romantic sex as well just anyone else. I’m not arguing - it’s in fact the vanilla sex poster who is extremely aggressive in her judgments about others sex lives

DP. It sounds pretty rigid, assuming he's always playing the same role of dominant one and youre always submissive. And yes, you certainly are arguing. You also seem pretty aggressive in your judgements on characterization of "vanilla sex" despite admitting you engage in it occasionally.

I’m not. You however made several accusatory statements that men are not really into their partners, if they engage in role play, sex is subpar, not varied etc. You have no clue about other people relationships and if women desire this it means their experiences were positive

I have clues about basic psychology, and the rise in these "kinky" behaviors since porn usage became widespread. Or the fact that a much higher percentage of women who engage in these behavior are CSA victims. Calling out these facts is not an "accusatory statement", but rather a basic reality. I also have friends and realize that most of the women I know who are big into kink dont really seem able to maintain long term relationships with men, tend to report unsatisfying sex lives, dont get as much interest from men, etc. Again, if such information sharing triggers you, I urge you to avoid public forums where these kinds of discussions occur.

Guy here that rarely watched porn and never saw the kinks I have represented in porn.

My kinks all stem from actions or were discovered with woman in both intimate and non intimate scenarios.

A lot of my kinks are sensory related and 90% of them can be satisfied outside of the bedroom fully clothed, yet still deeply intimate situations.

You've never seen porn or "rarely watched it" in comparison to your friends?

it's naive to think kinks just exist on their own with zero cultural context. The reality is, most people who act out kinks do so as a result of cultural conditioning. For example, "cuck" fantasies are fairly widespread in the US but much, much rarer in Europe due to different cultural standards. Most people think they come to their kinks independently when the reality is theyve mostly been conditioned and eaten up without questioning anything.

Your view of kinks is pretty narrow.

My kinks are very specific and not what most people would think of or imagine. Even when satisfying my spouse’s degradation kink it isn’t what people think of. In fact the challenge is finding unique less obvious and unpredictable ways to satisfy her needs.

I’m a woman my kink is sucking his toes, playing with his b..ls, wearing his tie during sex, or being tied with it, and lacing his shoes. Also being slapped with his c…k lightly during O. It makes me super aroused when I feel like a little s..t

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP and everyone is else on the thread who is into the same things as OP needs to find partners in specific places where you all share these interests. It’s not fair to put someone in this position who doesn’t want to do the things you want to do. These things are off the mainstream which means you need to look for partners specially in places that are for that.

As a woman I have right to date and meet men in all venues. I’m open about my needs and if he doesn’t want to, he’s free to seek someone else.

OP is not forcing her BF : she’s asking if she should just give up

In my opinion she should give up as he’s not even curious in learning

We’re on page 13 and I’m not even sure OP directly raised this with him.