How can you cheat and not think about how it will affect your kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seems like there are basically two types of people on these threads. Those who think sex is an important part of a healthy marriage just like love and companionship and those who think its optional like going without wine or your favorite food, something people enjoy but not particularly important. Everything after that is basically a justification for that belief.

Seems like there are basically two types of people on these threads. Those who think sex is a need like food and oxygen... and those that think it is like every other emotional need, they are
important but not a deal breaker. Sometimes it's plenty, sometimes it's not.

If sex is unimportant to you, not a deal breaker that is perfectly fine .... so long as fidelity is also unimportant to you, not a deal breaker.
This thread attracts lots of angry sexless wives who take the hypocritical position that fidelity is a deal breaker but sex is optional. And they are shocked and outraged when their sex needing husbands go elsewhere. Sorry it doesn't work your way. Either both (sex and fidelity) are important, or neither can be.

Wrong again. They are both important but one is more important than the other.

[Anonymous]

Sexless guy... you actually described yourself being trained by your wife not to have sex. Have you no self respect? What you dont understand is that your wife is happy with the situation. Your wife is totally fine staying in a sexless marriage. I dont know her, so I cant say why she likes this arrangement but it is clear she does. YOU are the one who is unhappy. You can say her behavior is forcing you to respond with an undesirable behavior l, but that just makes you look like an immature child. He hit me first!!! Stop allowing yourself to be treated like a dog. Until you stand up for yourself, express what you need, and have the spine to follow through and pursue the kind of life you want, you will continue to be a woman-hating bitter sexless rageaholoc who argues with strangers on the internet that your wife forced you to (fill in the blank with the undesirable behavior.. cheat, use drugs, beat her, kick the dog, etc.) No one buys wht you are selling. No one. Not a single person has said "omg, you are right... it is MY fault my husband cheated because I clearly forced him. He had no other options, really, and now I'm going to fix things by havi g lots more sex with him."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let's say this again: much, much cheating takes place in marriages where sex is freely available but for whatever reason, no longer thrills.

Agreed. You failed to mention this category of cheating is dominated by wives who reject their husband but seek out the interesting new guy.

So let's be clear on this specific point: the LARGE MAJORITY of men cheating takes place in marriages where sex is rare due to an uninterested wife.

We don't really know who dominates which category.

As a formerly single girl I can tell you that it isn't true. Most married guys who propositioned me were open about the fact that they lost interest in having sex with their wives because "I'm bored having sex with the same person for 20 years", "she doesn't look the same way", "I can't do these things to the mother of my children", "I love my wife but am not wired for monogamy", etc. Not infrequently, their APs were shocked by the news of the wife's new pregnancy - which I think illustrates quite clearly that the stories of the sexless marriage are quite oversold by the cheating husbands.

My DH have been cheating on me for a few years during which sex in the marital bed was freely available. A new body is a new body, can't compete with that.

There are numerous scientific research based studies proving that women get sexually bored in marriage far more than men. So yeah, we really do know who dominates the category.
Nobody here has claimed that all men with good sex at home don't cheat. The assertion is this is a fairly small percentage of men cheaters, most of whom get very little sex at home.

We really don't know that. You don't know how small or large a percentage of men cheaters have sex freely available at home. There are no reliable studies to support that.

What we do know is that for centuries, it was the male desire for multiple partners that was freely acknowledged, and in some cultures, codified in legal frameworks. There is ample cultural support for the wife to forgive a straying husband who wishes to be forgiven. No such support exists for the husband to forgive a straying wife - in fact, he'd be an object of ridicule as much as the wife would be praised at least by some.

[Anonymous]

https://uk.news.yahoo.com/cheaters-keep-sleeping-half-affair-120512091.html?guccounter=1

Cheating website Illicit Encounters quizzed 1,000 of its users and found that two thirds of cheaters keep having sex with their original partners as they carry out their affairs.

Only 15% of participants said they stopped having sex with their partners entirely when cheating, and most of those had stopped having sex with their other halves before the affair anyway.

Only a fifth (21%) had less sex with their spouses, while 64% kept up their usual sex routine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:https://uk.news.yahoo.com/cheaters-keep-sleeping-half-affair-120512091.html?guccounter=1

Cheating website Illicit Encounters quizzed 1,000 of its users and found that two thirds of cheaters keep having sex with their original partners as they carry out their affairs.

Only 15% of participants said they stopped having sex with their partners entirely when cheating, and most of those had stopped having sex with their other halves before the affair anyway.

Only a fifth (21%) had less sex with their spouses, while 64% kept up their usual sex routine.

What is the normal routine and are respondents satisfied with the normal routine?

[Anonymous]

There is no long in arguing with Angry Sexless Man. He clearly has decided he is an expert on the demographics of cheaters, even though studies have demonstrated that men who cheat are typically still having sex (in varying amounts) with their wives. HIS personal experience is that he is furious hes not getting sex from his wife, so that MUST be normal. He doesnt want facts and studies to confuse his narcissistic reality.

https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/00224499.2017.1393494

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.independent.co.uk/life-style/love-sex/cheating-why-cheat-infidelity-break-up-partner-relationship-a8496526.html%3famp

https://www.verywellmind.com/why-married-people-cheat-2300656

https://www.webmd.com/men/features/our-cheating-hearts

[Anonymous]

Actually we don’t know if the angry guy is in a sexless situation or just not as frequent as originally in a marriage.

The guy is so entitled that he may be having sex with his wife and still complaining.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:https://uk.news.yahoo.com/cheaters-keep-sleeping-half-affair-120512091.html?guccounter=1

Cheating website Illicit Encounters quizzed 1,000 of its users and found that two thirds of cheaters keep having sex with their original partners as they carry out their affairs.

Only 15% of participants said they stopped having sex with their partners entirely when cheating, and most of those had stopped having sex with their other halves before the affair anyway.

Only a fifth (21%) had less sex with their spouses, while 64% kept up their usual sex routine.

What is the normal routine and are respondents satisfied with the normal routine?

I'm so confused. Are you still having sex with your wife? Why?! Allegedly your AP services you as needed, so why are you cheating on your AP with your wife? Maybe because you are a spineless creature?

[Anonymous]

So I think we lost the angry guy for now because the data.....
LOL to the pp on asking whether he’s cheating on his AP with his wife.

[Anonymous]

I think Angry Sexless guy isnt getting any from ANYONE, thus the rage and anger towards women who dare to deny him his RIGHT to the sex that he is entitled by marriage to have frequently. I can't imagine why he cant find women to sleep with him, though...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sexless guy... you actually described yourself being trained by your wife not to have sex. Have you no self respect? What you dont understand is that your wife is happy with the situation. Your wife is totally fine staying in a sexless marriage. I dont know her, so I cant say why she likes this arrangement but it is clear she does. YOU are the one who is unhappy. You can say her behavior is forcing you to respond with an undesirable behavior l, but that just makes you look like an immature child. He hit me first!!! Stop allowing yourself to be treated like a dog. Until you stand up for yourself, express what you need, and have the spine to follow through and pursue the kind of life you want, you will continue to be a woman-hating bitter sexless rageaholoc who argues with strangers on the internet that your wife forced you to (fill in the blank with the undesirable behavior.. cheat, use drugs, beat her, kick the dog, etc.) No one buys wht you are selling. No one. Not a single person has said "omg, you are right... it is MY fault my husband cheated because I clearly forced him. He had no other options, really, and now I'm going to fix things by havi g lots more sex with him."

Yes to this, mostly. Sexless guy's problem is he isn't actually cheating as is bitter that he doesn't have the courage to do so. I know the mentality because I used to stew in a low sex marriage and rage internally that this would be the cause of my cheating. Once I actually found another woman to have sex with, the rage lifted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sexless guy... you actually described yourself being trained by your wife not to have sex. Have you no self respect? What you dont understand is that your wife is happy with the situation. Your wife is totally fine staying in a sexless marriage. I dont know her, so I cant say why she likes this arrangement but it is clear she does. YOU are the one who is unhappy. You can say her behavior is forcing you to respond with an undesirable behavior l, but that just makes you look like an immature child. He hit me first!!! Stop allowing yourself to be treated like a dog. Until you stand up for yourself, express what you need, and have the spine to follow through and pursue the kind of life you want, you will continue to be a woman-hating bitter sexless rageaholoc who argues with strangers on the internet that your wife forced you to (fill in the blank with the undesirable behavior.. cheat, use drugs, beat her, kick the dog, etc.) No one buys wht you are selling. No one. Not a single person has said "omg, you are right... it is MY fault my husband cheated because I clearly forced him. He had no other options, really, and now I'm going to fix things by havi g lots more sex with him."

Yes to this, mostly. Sexless guy's problem is he isn't actually cheating as is bitter that he doesn't have the courage to do so. I know the mentality because I used to stew in a low sex marriage and rage internally that this would be the cause of my cheating. Once I actually found another woman to have sex with, the rage lifted.

Out with the rage, in with the guilt.

[Anonymous]

I think about how it could affect the kids which is why I am super careful about not getting caught. You can ask my spouse why spouse thinks neglecting the marriage won't affect the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think about how it could affect the kids which is why I am super careful about not getting caught. You can ask my spouse why spouse thinks neglecting the marriage won't affect the kids.

I think it's more like you're neglecting the marriage. Stop blaming your wife for your decision to cheat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think about how it could affect the kids which is why I am super careful about not getting caught. You can ask my spouse why spouse thinks neglecting the marriage won't affect the kids.

Exactly this. I shield my kids from adult things that are none of their business. I have no trouble keeping an affair separate from my family life.