I went to visit a swingers club for the first time. AMA

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's so sad there's so much kink-shaming. At lot of you people in sex-starved, lonely marriages should look within and consider why you have so much shame and guilt over something so human

Because it's stupid. I heard of a couple that the wife was attractive and they decided to date others while married. So the woman ended up falling for the guy and divorced and now they're fighting for child custody. Humans are meant to be monogamous or have a sense of exclusivity to stay together long-term. I mean would you kiss your wife or husband after their tongue was in someone's butt? If you say yes then you probably are as likely to step out as they are.

Are you sure about that? History seems to tell a different story if you look at the divorce rate.

Depends on the butt.

[Anonymous]

I want to not like you but I have liked every single one of your responses. So I do like you as a person and respect your kind tone to everyone in this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's so sad there's so much kink-shaming. At lot of you people in sex-starved, lonely marriages should look within and consider why you have so much shame and guilt over something so human

Because it's stupid. I heard of a couple that the wife was attractive and they decided to date others while married. So the woman ended up falling for the guy and divorced and now they're fighting for child custody. Humans are meant to be monogamous or have a sense of exclusivity to stay together long-term. I mean would you kiss your wife or husband after their tongue was in someone's butt? If you say yes then you probably are as likely to step out as they are.

From an evolutionary perspective this is not the case. Men are conditioned to spread their DNA around everywhere they can, while women are conditioned to find one man to contribute DNA and another to help raise their offspring. Some of us have overcome those instincts but many have not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I appreciate you sharing, OP. And I'm glad you enjoyed yourself. From my perspective, it just sounds sad and empty (which I realize is a me issue). Did you worry about being recognized? And what was the cost financially?

I think this really depends on your personality. I’m an extrovert who has an exhibitionist streak. For me, going somewhere that I can dance with Hubs and talk to new people with my boobs out is heaven.

I didn’t worry about being recognized. I’m not a public figure so I assume that these people have no idea who I am. I will not see most of them again. If I do see them again, I assume that they have just as much interest in discretion as I do.

A monthly membership fee was about $30 and our entry for the night was about $50. We brought our own alcohol with us and they provide all mixers. We tipped the bartenders and attendants. So all in for about $110.

Gross. This is a low bar for entry. The “Membership Fee” is so low it serves no screening function and the cost for the evening is less than a few items at Whole Foods or Giant. At those prices you can be sure they aren’t washing the linens more than once a month and the “mixers” come from Costco. This doesn’t sound sexy it sounds cheap and tawdry.

“The linens”? Girl.

She said what she said. If there are no linens how could you? I’m picturing a mattress with a pillow on it and I just can’t 😖

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Relevant Google ad on this post:

Divorce With A Plan: Executive Divorce Attorney

Not real funny. I am trying to serve as a resource here. Hubs and I are very secure with our relationship, and just because our lifestyle doesn't match yours doesn't mean that you can poo on my post. Shoo. Go away.

I'm fascinated by your post and I also think the ad was funny. It can be both.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ha ha. I guessed OP was in her 40s as soon as I saw the post.

Why? Because this is the time when the hormones go berserk for women and they become randy like a teenage boy. It lasts for a decade.

Apart from that...the dark path you may walk now for sex will bite you in a big way when the haze gets over.

So look, but don't touch. Be monogamous with your spouse and use toys if you need to.

I am in 40s and don't get my hormones like this and also none of my friends either, lol. I would like to know what is causing women in 40s to be like this.

Well, your hormones are different, your experiences are different. And your friends might not tell you. I don't go around talking about how sexually charged I am. I'm happily married -- but have a FWB on the side. My friends don't know. The only person who knows is my FWB. Right? But hormones are CRAZY.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's so sad there's so much kink-shaming. At lot of you people in sex-starved, lonely marriages should look within and consider why you have so much shame and guilt over something so human

Because it's stupid. I heard of a couple that the wife was attractive and they decided to date others while married. So the woman ended up falling for the guy and divorced and now they're fighting for child custody. Humans are meant to be monogamous or have a sense of exclusivity to stay together long-term. I mean would you kiss your wife or husband after their tongue was in someone's butt? If you say yes then you probably are as likely to step out as they are.

Are you sure about that? History seems to tell a different story if you look at the divorce rate.

Depends on the butt.

I wouldn’t kiss any guy if I think his tongue is in someone’s butt. Other women are five watching their spouse f..k another woman in the b..t.
But the divorce rate tells you that probably most people are not okay with their spouse sleeping with other people. I was dating someone poly and he was very upfront about need for 3somes. I couldn’t make myself do that. Most people just physically can’t stomach polyamory even if they think three is no moral issue there. It’s biological intolerance to me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:- People were as attractive as the average population. There were some smoking hot young people, and some older or bigger people, the women generally dress to impress.

- There were more women then men there. At the club we went to, the woman holds the membership, and can bring a male guest. Only a handful of single men are allowed on any given night, so there were for sure more women than men there.

- For demographics, we hit it off with a couple of couples, both were similar in age to us (40s) and professionals.

More men than women? So, what about the women who don't find partners? That doesn't seem fair.

Are you reality surprised that there are more men than women? Most women find this repulsive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Were most of the people old and unattractive?

Not Op, but of course.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ha ha. I guessed OP was in her 40s as soon as I saw the post.

Why? Because this is the time when the hormones go berserk for women and they become randy like a teenage boy. It lasts for a decade.

Apart from that...the dark path you may walk now for sex will bite you in a big way when the haze gets over.

So look, but don't touch. Be monogamous with your spouse and use toys if you need to.

Really? I am a woman in my early 50’s nd my ses drive did a nose dive in my 40’s. I’ve heard the same thing from many other women my age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:- People were as attractive as the average population. There were some smoking hot young people, and some older or bigger people, the women generally dress to impress.

- There were more women then men there. At the club we went to, the woman holds the membership, and can bring a male guest. Only a handful of single men are allowed on any given night, so there were for sure more women than men there.

- For demographics, we hit it off with a couple of couples, both were similar in age to us (40s) and professionals.

More men than women? So, what about the women who don't find partners? That doesn't seem fair.

Are you reality surprised that there are more men than women? Most women find this repulsive.

OP said it was the opposite. More women than men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:😴🥱

OP strikes me as insecure and seeking validation and attention in a lot of different spaces.

You strike me as a woman that hates hot, sexy women

Hot, sexy women don’t go to places like this. They can do better for themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's so sad there's so much kink-shaming. At lot of you people in sex-starved, lonely marriages should look within and consider why you have so much shame and guilt over something so human

Because it's stupid. I heard of a couple that the wife was attractive and they decided to date others while married. So the woman ended up falling for the guy and divorced and now they're fighting for child custody. Humans are meant to be monogamous or have a sense of exclusivity to stay together long-term. I mean would you kiss your wife or husband after their tongue was in someone's butt? If you say yes then you probably are as likely to step out as they are.

Anthropology does not support this statement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ha ha. I guessed OP was in her 40s as soon as I saw the post.

Why? Because this is the time when the hormones go berserk for women and they become randy like a teenage boy. It lasts for a decade.

Apart from that...the dark path you may walk now for sex will bite you in a big way when the haze gets over.

So look, but don't touch. Be monogamous with your spouse and use toys if you need to.

Really? I am a woman in my early 50’s nd my ses drive did a nose dive in my 40’s. I’ve heard the same thing from many other women my age.

I think hormonal shifts just make libido more variable. Like when a top stops spinning, it veers all over the place before it stops.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:- People were as attractive as the average population. There were some smoking hot young people, and some older or bigger people, the women generally dress to impress.

- There were more women then men there. At the club we went to, the woman holds the membership, and can bring a male guest. Only a handful of single men are allowed on any given night, so there were for sure more women than men there.

- For demographics, we hit it off with a couple of couples, both were similar in age to us (40s) and professionals.

More men than women? So, what about the women who don't find partners? That doesn't seem fair.

Are you reality surprised that there are more men than women? Most women find this repulsive.

OP said it was the opposite. More women than men.

The club probably pays some of the women to be there.