Can we have a rational discussion about going Greek?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only people here who sound triggered are the Greek boosters. The people who are passing on it - even when the parents were in houses themselves - sound pretty rational.

It really is okay for other people to have other opinions. It won't stop your kid from joining a frat

+1
The most defensive posters are those who can't stand it when others simply say their kids have no interest. It seems to really trigger them.

No one on here is "simply saying their kids have no interest." They're saying they're not interested, yes, but then they have to bash it. There's a difference.

Agree. I was not Greek myself, but find the vehemence of the anti-Greek crowd on DCUM really odd.

[Anonymous]

Greek life is akin to so many negatives . I’d put it in the category of Toddlers with Tiaras, mommy vloggers and influencers, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Twelve pages of almost pure ridiculousness with a few droplets of sanity sprinkled in.

The fact is, if you don’t go Greek, it’s basically a coin toss whether you’ll look back on college with fond memories or as a lonely four years.

Fraternity men and sorority women, in contrast, almost universally love their college years. They’re the gods and goddesses of campus, they get into the best parties, have the best dating options, and land the best jobs and business opportunities after graduation.

Check out Greek Row on homecoming weekend. Look at the Bimmers filling the parking lot and notice how many alums from 10, 20, even 30+ years ago are back in their old houses, living it up with their brothers like they never left. Those bonds run deeper than anything that forms in a classroom or dorm.

What school is this?

Most of the top schools do not have this sort of dynamic.
Aside from Dartmouth and probably Cornell, I don't think joining a fraternity/sorority is particularly consequential.

You can just ignore our resident frat members as gods poster. They appear on every Greek thread. No one can figure out if they are actually pro-Greek since they do such a good job of making Greek life into such a negative.

That guy amuses me so. I went to a Big Ten, my spouse was fraternity brothers with a very famous NFL player. They were “the” house on campus in a large system. He’s still super close to his brother, they do go back for things, and it has had business connections. Having said all that, I’ll admit we were a bunch of bafoons.

I now watch my son at an Ivy where Greek like is very small and inconsequential. I watch him and his peers and the natural confidence they have astounds me and it’s based on substance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Twelve pages of almost pure ridiculousness with a few droplets of sanity sprinkled in.

The fact is, if you don’t go Greek, it’s basically a coin toss whether you’ll look back on college with fond memories or as a lonely four years.

Fraternity men and sorority women, in contrast, almost universally love their college years. They’re the gods and goddesses of campus, they get into the best parties, have the best dating options, and land the best jobs and business opportunities after graduation.

Check out Greek Row on homecoming weekend. Look at the Bimmers filling the parking lot and notice how many alums from 10, 20, even 30+ years ago are back in their old houses, living it up with their brothers like they never left. Those bonds run deeper than anything that forms in a classroom or dorm.

What school is this?

Most of the top schools do not have this sort of dynamic.
Aside from Dartmouth and probably Cornell, I don't think joining a fraternity/sorority is particularly consequential.

You can just ignore our resident frat members as gods poster. They appear on every Greek thread. No one can figure out if they are actually pro-Greek since they do such a good job of making Greek life into such a negative.

I assume it’s the same troll as “Bucknell, pipeline to the Street.” 😂

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son had an interesting take on it. He’s had several fraternities reach out to him but he isn’t interested. In his opinion it’s A. Weird to pay for friends B. More about gaining social protection by subjugating your will and moral compass to a group and C Limiting as he enjoys bringing together different groups of people. My daughter had a slightly different but similar opinion that she didn’t want some other group picking and dictating her friends for her. She is shockingly beautiful so the queen bees always zero in on her to get her to join their cliques and she’s always rebuffed them, picked her own friends.

Both kids have a strong protect the weaker person ethos and can’t stand people who reject or pick on people to boost their own popularity. Greek life seems to attract people willing to follow not lead, and prey on the weaker people rather than defend.

I do agree with the not wanting to pay for friends. When I att need college rush was fall literally during new student week before clssses had begun. Kids had 2 days on campus then bam! Rush started. So no chance for people to make their own friends and those that had started ended up going different ways because they ended up in different sororities

Someone explain “paying for friends”. The phrase is thrown around all the time and makes little sense.

Is joining any organization where you pay dues (a pool club, a running club, a rec softball team, etc.) and receive a product in return “paying for friends”?

My kid saves money with their fraternity fees compared to the other room & board options…how is that “paying for friends”?

DP. Do the pool club, running club, and rec softball team decide whether or not they will allow you to join based on ambiguous reasons, or is anyone allowed as long as they pay the fee?

There's a huge difference. For starters, the rec softball team doesn't all live together. There are only so many rooms in a frat or sorority house, so only so many can fit.

Nice try, though.

Huh? I was responding to the bolded which implied that there's no difference between any of those organizations and Greek. There's a huge difference, which is what I was saying, above. It's comparing apples and oranges.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only people here who sound triggered are the Greek boosters. The people who are passing on it - even when the parents were in houses themselves - sound pretty rational.

It really is okay for other people to have other opinions. It won't stop your kid from joining a frat

+1
The most defensive posters are those who can't stand it when others simply say their kids have no interest. It seems to really trigger them.

No one on here is "simply saying their kids have no interest." They're saying they're not interested, yes, but then they have to bash it. There's a difference.

Well, I for one haven't bashed it at all. I just stated my kids have no interest. That's not bashing anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son had an interesting take on it. He’s had several fraternities reach out to him but he isn’t interested. In his opinion it’s A. Weird to pay for friends B. More about gaining social protection by subjugating your will and moral compass to a group and C Limiting as he enjoys bringing together different groups of people. My daughter had a slightly different but similar opinion that she didn’t want some other group picking and dictating her friends for her. She is shockingly beautiful so the queen bees always zero in on her to get her to join their cliques and she’s always rebuffed them, picked her own friends.

Both kids have a strong protect the weaker person ethos and can’t stand people who reject or pick on people to boost their own popularity. Greek life seems to attract people willing to follow not lead, and prey on the weaker people rather than defend.

I do agree with the not wanting to pay for friends. When I att need college rush was fall literally during new student week before clssses had begun. Kids had 2 days on campus then bam! Rush started. So no chance for people to make their own friends and those that had started ended up going different ways because they ended up in different sororities

Someone explain “paying for friends”. The phrase is thrown around all the time and makes little sense.

Is joining any organization where you pay dues (a pool club, a running club, a rec softball team, etc.) and receive a product in return “paying for friends”?

My kid saves money with their fraternity fees compared to the other room & board options…how is that “paying for friends”?

DP. Do the pool club, running club, and rec softball team decide whether or not they will allow you to join based on ambiguous reasons, or is anyone allowed as long as they pay the fee?

There's a huge difference. For starters, the rec softball team doesn't all live together. There are only so many rooms in a frat or sorority house, so only so many can fit.

Nice try, though.

Is membership in any of those clubs based on how cute you are, what you’re wearing, legacy status? Do the members vote on whether other students are worth having in the club?

You're assuming that those things matter at all -- or even most -- houses. They don't.

But the members do vote on who is good enough, right? That’s a big difference.

Exactly. Talk about obtuse - the PP refuses to acknowledge this crucial point. No one votes to let you into a pool, running club, or rec softball team. You just join and pay your dues. Done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Twelve pages of almost pure ridiculousness with a few droplets of sanity sprinkled in.

The fact is, if you don’t go Greek, it’s basically a coin toss whether you’ll look back on college with fond memories or as a lonely four years.

Fraternity men and sorority women, in contrast, almost universally love their college years. They’re the gods and goddesses of campus, they get into the best parties, have the best dating options, and land the best jobs and business opportunities after graduation.

Check out Greek Row on homecoming weekend. Look at the Bimmers filling the parking lot and notice how many alums from 10, 20, even 30+ years ago are back in their old houses, living it up with their brothers like they never left. Those bonds run deeper than anything that forms in a classroom or dorm.

What school is this?

Most of the top schools do not have this sort of dynamic.
Aside from Dartmouth and probably Cornell, I don't think joining a fraternity/sorority is particularly consequential.

You can just ignore our resident frat members as gods poster. They appear on every Greek thread. No one can figure out if they are actually pro-Greek since they do such a good job of making Greek life into such a negative.

+100
So true! Every time that old frat bro posts I thank my lucky stars that I never had to deal with that nonsense and my own kids don't either. He's not exactly a great spokesman for Greek life!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son had an interesting take on it. He’s had several fraternities reach out to him but he isn’t interested. In his opinion it’s A. Weird to pay for friends B. More about gaining social protection by subjugating your will and moral compass to a group and C Limiting as he enjoys bringing together different groups of people. My daughter had a slightly different but similar opinion that she didn’t want some other group picking and dictating her friends for her. She is shockingly beautiful so the queen bees always zero in on her to get her to join their cliques and she’s always rebuffed them, picked her own friends.

Both kids have a strong protect the weaker person ethos and can’t stand people who reject or pick on people to boost their own popularity. Greek life seems to attract people willing to follow not lead, and prey on the weaker people rather than defend.

I do agree with the not wanting to pay for friends. When I att need college rush was fall literally during new student week before clssses had begun. Kids had 2 days on campus then bam! Rush started. So no chance for people to make their own friends and those that had started ended up going different ways because they ended up in different sororities

Someone explain “paying for friends”. The phrase is thrown around all the time and makes little sense.

Is joining any organization where you pay dues (a pool club, a running club, a rec softball team, etc.) and receive a product in return “paying for friends”?

My kid saves money with their fraternity fees compared to the other room & board options…how is that “paying for friends”?

DP. Do the pool club, running club, and rec softball team decide whether or not they will allow you to join based on ambiguous reasons, or is anyone allowed as long as they pay the fee?

There's a huge difference. For starters, the rec softball team doesn't all live together. There are only so many rooms in a frat or sorority house, so only so many can fit.

Nice try, though.

Is membership in any of those clubs based on how cute you are, what you’re wearing, legacy status? Do the members vote on whether other students are worth having in the club?

Everyone commenting is completely missing the point.

It’s one thing to claim an organizations is wrong because it’s exclusive or membership is based on superficial things. I gather you probably think top country clubs or the hip NYC private clubs are also bad because you need members referrals and they do care if you have the look and they are exclusive.

However, joining an exclusive club (as others have pointed out there is a Greek organization for just about everyone just as there are country clubs that anyone can join if you pay) for which you pay and receive a product in return isn’t “buying friends”.

[Anonymous]

This is the participation trophy generation. Parents of today's college kids are terrified that their kid won't get the trophy, so they discourage their kids from even participating.

[Anonymous]

I never said it was buying friends. I said there is a difference between clubs that you just join and organizations where the current members vote on whether you will be permitted to join.

Do you agree?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is the participation trophy generation. Parents of today's college kids are terrified that their kid won't get the trophy, so they discourage their kids from even participating.

What are you going on about? The majority of posters here are either all for their kids rushing or are fine either way. Doesn’t sound discouraging to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is the participation trophy generation. Parents of today's college kids are terrified that their kid won't get the trophy, so they discourage their kids from even participating.

What are you going on about? The majority of posters here are either all for their kids rushing or are fine either way. Doesn’t sound discouraging to me.

Oh please. We're on page 14 of an active thread. It wouldn't be this long if it were half saying "go Greek!" and the other half responding "whatever." There's post after post going negative.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I never said it was buying friends. I said there is a difference between clubs that you just join and organizations where the current members vote on whether you will be permitted to join.

Do you agree?

DP. Sure. But so what? Doesn't make it a bad thing necessarily.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I never said it was buying friends. I said there is a difference between clubs that you just join and organizations where the current members vote on whether you will be permitted to join.

Do you agree?

DP. I don't see people bashing theater. That's more exclusive than greek life. So is orchestra.