PSA-Hoco

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These posts are kind of crazy. I think it's a really nice sentiment OP.

My child always tries look at the chat lists to see who else can be invited. Usually there are kids on the periphery of a group and it's nice to check in with them to see if they have plans. You'd be surprised how many times they do not have plans.

Exactly. I am floored by how many parents don't want their kids to do some reaching out. Like wuttt? It doesn't need to be a grand gesture. What's so bad about "hey, what are your hoco plans?" and if the answer is "nothing yet", what's so bad about saying "feel free to join us"

It's so basic.

I see it as the kid with no plans can easily ask their friend “hey, what are your hoco plans.” This is so bizarre.

Because jerk parents like you don't want "the fringe kid". Roll my eyes so hard.

FWIW, I think the term "fringe kid" came into this convo bc a mom said "I'm a parent of a fringe kid and I would love it"

Also, OP has clarified; we're not talking about "fringe kids", we're talking kids that are already friends. Which makes this even more bizarre bc I don't understand why a kid wouldn't text "hey, what are we doing for HoCo" if they are already friends

Because kids don't want to be turned down or get an awkward "I am going to X house but I can't invite you because it's not my house". So it's just easier for the kids who have plans to do the checking.

So you want the kid who is going to someone else’s house to invite someone to that house even though they can’t do that?

Except they probably can if parents heeded this message. Do you see where the problem is and why this PSA is needed? Let your kids invite someone who might not have plans.

Nobody is disallowing this. Where did you get the idea that parents are gatekeeping any of this? And for the kids who “have the plans” guaranteed almost all of them had to reach out to someone to come up with the plan. That’s how plans evolve. Nobody is formally inviting anyone these are all very informal plans hatched by the kids themselves. No parents involved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These posts are kind of crazy. I think it's a really nice sentiment OP.

My child always tries look at the chat lists to see who else can be invited. Usually there are kids on the periphery of a group and it's nice to check in with them to see if they have plans. You'd be surprised how many times they do not have plans.

Exactly. I am floored by how many parents don't want their kids to do some reaching out. Like wuttt? It doesn't need to be a grand gesture. What's so bad about "hey, what are your hoco plans?" and if the answer is "nothing yet", what's so bad about saying "feel free to join us"

It's so basic.

I see it as the kid with no plans can easily ask their friend “hey, what are your hoco plans.” This is so bizarre.

Because jerk parents like you don't want "the fringe kid". Roll my eyes so hard.

FWIW, I think the term "fringe kid" came into this convo bc a mom said "I'm a parent of a fringe kid and I would love it"

Also, OP has clarified; we're not talking about "fringe kids", we're talking kids that are already friends. Which makes this even more bizarre bc I don't understand why a kid wouldn't text "hey, what are we doing for HoCo" if they are already friends

Because kids don't want to be turned down or get an awkward "I am going to X house but I can't invite you because it's not my house". So it's just easier for the kids who have plans to do the checking.

So you want the kid who is going to someone else’s house to invite someone to that house even though they can’t do that?

Except they probably can if parents heeded this message. Do you see where the problem is and why this PSA is needed? Let your kids invite someone who might not have plans.

Nobody is disallowing this. Where did you get the idea that parents are gatekeeping any of this? And for the kids who “have the plans” guaranteed almost all of them had to reach out to someone to come up with the plan. That’s how plans evolve. Nobody is formally inviting anyone these are all very informal plans hatched by the kids themselves. No parents involved.

Well if this thread is not proof that parents are INEED gatekeeping this, I don't know what is. Have you read the responses here?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This suggestion by the OP is so bizarre. I have two kids who never went to HC, are the shy and quiet types.
I wouldn’t want some other kid reaching out to mine as a pity invite, which this basically would be.
Also, sometimes the kids who aren’t going actually don’t want to go. I know that might be hard for some of you to understand.
Adding that I never went to HC and have no regrets! Would never have agreed to go with a group that I was just on the fringes of.

Cool, well if someone were have the audacity to ask one of your kids if they felt like coming with, they could just say “not really my thing, but thanks for asking!”

How awkard for the kid to ask and get turned down. Right? Isn’t that the rejection you want your kid to avoid?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These posts are kind of crazy. I think it's a really nice sentiment OP.

My child always tries look at the chat lists to see who else can be invited. Usually there are kids on the periphery of a group and it's nice to check in with them to see if they have plans. You'd be surprised how many times they do not have plans.

Exactly. I am floored by how many parents don't want their kids to do some reaching out. Like wuttt? It doesn't need to be a grand gesture. What's so bad about "hey, what are your hoco plans?" and if the answer is "nothing yet", what's so bad about saying "feel free to join us"

It's so basic.

I see it as the kid with no plans can easily ask their friend “hey, what are your hoco plans.” This is so bizarre.

Because jerk parents like you don't want "the fringe kid". Roll my eyes so hard.

FWIW, I think the term "fringe kid" came into this convo bc a mom said "I'm a parent of a fringe kid and I would love it"

Also, OP has clarified; we're not talking about "fringe kids", we're talking kids that are already friends. Which makes this even more bizarre bc I don't understand why a kid wouldn't text "hey, what are we doing for HoCo" if they are already friends

Because kids don't want to be turned down or get an awkward "I am going to X house but I can't invite you because it's not my house". So it's just easier for the kids who have plans to do the checking.

So you want the kid who is going to someone else’s house to invite someone to that house even though they can’t do that?

Except they probably can if parents heeded this message. Do you see where the problem is and why this PSA is needed? Let your kids invite someone who might not have plans.

Nobody is disallowing this. Where did you get the idea that parents are gatekeeping any of this? And for the kids who “have the plans” guaranteed almost all of them had to reach out to someone to come up with the plan. That’s how plans evolve. Nobody is formally inviting anyone these are all very informal plans hatched by the kids themselves. No parents involved.

Well if this thread is not proof that parents are INEED gatekeeping this, I don't know what is. Have you read the responses here?

Proof that parents need to gatekeep. Are you insane? What grade is your kid in?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This suggestion by the OP is so bizarre. I have two kids who never went to HC, are the shy and quiet types.
I wouldn’t want some other kid reaching out to mine as a pity invite, which this basically would be.
Also, sometimes the kids who aren’t going actually don’t want to go. I know that might be hard for some of you to understand.
Adding that I never went to HC and have no regrets! Would never have agreed to go with a group that I was just on the fringes of.

Cool, well if someone were have the audacity to ask one of your kids if they felt like coming with, they could just say “not really my thing, but thanks for asking!”

How awkard for the kid to ask and get turned down. Right? Isn’t that the rejection you want your kid to avoid?

The kid that already has a group of friends to go with? Not awkward at all!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This suggestion by the OP is so bizarre. I have two kids who never went to HC, are the shy and quiet types.
I wouldn’t want some other kid reaching out to mine as a pity invite, which this basically would be.
Also, sometimes the kids who aren’t going actually don’t want to go. I know that might be hard for some of you to understand.
Adding that I never went to HC and have no regrets! Would never have agreed to go with a group that I was just on the fringes of.

Cool, well if someone were have the audacity to ask one of your kids if they felt like coming with, they could just say “not really my thing, but thanks for asking!”

How awkard for the kid to ask and get turned down. Right? Isn’t that the rejection you want your kid to avoid?

The kid that already has a group of friends to go with? Not awkward at all!

Maybe they aren’t really that close and he had to ask if he could join them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This suggestion by the OP is so bizarre. I have two kids who never went to HC, are the shy and quiet types.
I wouldn’t want some other kid reaching out to mine as a pity invite, which this basically would be.
Also, sometimes the kids who aren’t going actually don’t want to go. I know that might be hard for some of you to understand.
Adding that I never went to HC and have no regrets! Would never have agreed to go with a group that I was just on the fringes of.

Cool, well if someone were have the audacity to ask one of your kids if they felt like coming with, they could just say “not really my thing, but thanks for asking!”

How awkard for the kid to ask and get turned down. Right? Isn’t that the rejection you want your kid to avoid?

The kid that already has a group of friends to go with? Not awkward at all!

Maybe they aren’t really that close and he had to ask if he could join them.

Yeah, maybe. Gosh I really see your point now.

[Anonymous]

The lengths some of you are going to justify not doing the most simple kindness is astonishing to me. No wonder this world is so f-ed up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These posts are kind of crazy. I think it's a really nice sentiment OP.

My child always tries look at the chat lists to see who else can be invited. Usually there are kids on the periphery of a group and it's nice to check in with them to see if they have plans. You'd be surprised how many times they do not have plans.

Exactly. I am floored by how many parents don't want their kids to do some reaching out. Like wuttt? It doesn't need to be a grand gesture. What's so bad about "hey, what are your hoco plans?" and if the answer is "nothing yet", what's so bad about saying "feel free to join us"

It's so basic.

I see it as the kid with no plans can easily ask their friend “hey, what are your hoco plans.” This is so bizarre.

Because jerk parents like you don't want "the fringe kid". Roll my eyes so hard.

FWIW, I think the term "fringe kid" came into this convo bc a mom said "I'm a parent of a fringe kid and I would love it"

Also, OP has clarified; we're not talking about "fringe kids", we're talking kids that are already friends. Which makes this even more bizarre bc I don't understand why a kid wouldn't text "hey, what are we doing for HoCo" if they are already friends

Because kids don't want to be turned down or get an awkward "I am going to X house but I can't invite you because it's not my house". So it's just easier for the kids who have plans to do the checking.

So you want the kid who is going to someone else’s house to invite someone to that house even though they can’t do that?

Except they probably can if parents heeded this message. Do you see where the problem is and why this PSA is needed? Let your kids invite someone who might not have plans.

Nobody is disallowing this. Where did you get the idea that parents are gatekeeping any of this? And for the kids who “have the plans” guaranteed almost all of them had to reach out to someone to come up with the plan. That’s how plans evolve. Nobody is formally inviting anyone these are all very informal plans hatched by the kids themselves. No parents involved.

Oh they definitely gatekeep. Especially if they have to drive anywhere.

[Anonymous]

For homework tonight, everyone watch Carrie. Come back tomorrow prepared to discuss which side of this argument is best supported by the outcome of the movie.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These posts are kind of crazy. I think it's a really nice sentiment OP.

My child always tries look at the chat lists to see who else can be invited. Usually there are kids on the periphery of a group and it's nice to check in with them to see if they have plans. You'd be surprised how many times they do not have plans.

Exactly. I am floored by how many parents don't want their kids to do some reaching out. Like wuttt? It doesn't need to be a grand gesture. What's so bad about "hey, what are your hoco plans?" and if the answer is "nothing yet", what's so bad about saying "feel free to join us"

It's so basic.

I see it as the kid with no plans can easily ask their friend “hey, what are your hoco plans.” This is so bizarre.

Because jerk parents like you don't want "the fringe kid". Roll my eyes so hard.

FWIW, I think the term "fringe kid" came into this convo bc a mom said "I'm a parent of a fringe kid and I would love it"

Also, OP has clarified; we're not talking about "fringe kids", we're talking kids that are already friends. Which makes this even more bizarre bc I don't understand why a kid wouldn't text "hey, what are we doing for HoCo" if they are already friends

Because kids don't want to be turned down or get an awkward "I am going to X house but I can't invite you because it's not my house". So it's just easier for the kids who have plans to do the checking.

So you want the kid who is going to someone else’s house to invite someone to that house even though they can’t do that?

Except they probably can if parents heeded this message. Do you see where the problem is and why this PSA is needed? Let your kids invite someone who might not have plans.

Nobody is disallowing this. Where did you get the idea that parents are gatekeeping any of this? And for the kids who “have the plans” guaranteed almost all of them had to reach out to someone to come up with the plan. That’s how plans evolve. Nobody is formally inviting anyone these are all very informal plans hatched by the kids themselves. No parents involved.

Oh they definitely gatekeep. Especially if they have to drive anywhere.

If you have such a chip on your shoulder about these people why do you care if your kid hangs out with them? Aren’t these the jerks, horrible people you’ve been grumbling about in here many pages?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These posts are kind of crazy. I think it's a really nice sentiment OP.

My child always tries look at the chat lists to see who else can be invited. Usually there are kids on the periphery of a group and it's nice to check in with them to see if they have plans. You'd be surprised how many times they do not have plans.

Exactly. I am floored by how many parents don't want their kids to do some reaching out. Like wuttt? It doesn't need to be a grand gesture. What's so bad about "hey, what are your hoco plans?" and if the answer is "nothing yet", what's so bad about saying "feel free to join us"

It's so basic.

I see it as the kid with no plans can easily ask their friend “hey, what are your hoco plans.” This is so bizarre.

Because jerk parents like you don't want "the fringe kid". Roll my eyes so hard.

FWIW, I think the term "fringe kid" came into this convo bc a mom said "I'm a parent of a fringe kid and I would love it"

Also, OP has clarified; we're not talking about "fringe kids", we're talking kids that are already friends. Which makes this even more bizarre bc I don't understand why a kid wouldn't text "hey, what are we doing for HoCo" if they are already friends

Because kids don't want to be turned down or get an awkward "I am going to X house but I can't invite you because it's not my house". So it's just easier for the kids who have plans to do the checking.

So you want the kid who is going to someone else’s house to invite someone to that house even though they can’t do that?

Except they probably can if parents heeded this message. Do you see where the problem is and why this PSA is needed? Let your kids invite someone who might not have plans.

Nobody is disallowing this. Where did you get the idea that parents are gatekeeping any of this? And for the kids who “have the plans” guaranteed almost all of them had to reach out to someone to come up with the plan. That’s how plans evolve. Nobody is formally inviting anyone these are all very informal plans hatched by the kids themselves. No parents involved.

Oh they definitely gatekeep. Especially if they have to drive anywhere.

If you have such a chip on your shoulder about these people why do you care if your kid hangs out with them? Aren’t these the jerks, horrible people you’ve been grumbling about in here many pages?

That was a comment was from me- a NP. I'm simply clarifying that parents are involved when teens can't drive yet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These posts are kind of crazy. I think it's a really nice sentiment OP.

My child always tries look at the chat lists to see who else can be invited. Usually there are kids on the periphery of a group and it's nice to check in with them to see if they have plans. You'd be surprised how many times they do not have plans.

Exactly. I am floored by how many parents don't want their kids to do some reaching out. Like wuttt? It doesn't need to be a grand gesture. What's so bad about "hey, what are your hoco plans?" and if the answer is "nothing yet", what's so bad about saying "feel free to join us"

It's so basic.

I see it as the kid with no plans can easily ask their friend “hey, what are your hoco plans.” This is so bizarre.

Because jerk parents like you don't want "the fringe kid". Roll my eyes so hard.

FWIW, I think the term "fringe kid" came into this convo bc a mom said "I'm a parent of a fringe kid and I would love it"

Also, OP has clarified; we're not talking about "fringe kids", we're talking kids that are already friends. Which makes this even more bizarre bc I don't understand why a kid wouldn't text "hey, what are we doing for HoCo" if they are already friends

Because kids don't want to be turned down or get an awkward "I am going to X house but I can't invite you because it's not my house". So it's just easier for the kids who have plans to do the checking.

So you want the kid who is going to someone else’s house to invite someone to that house even though they can’t do that?

Except they probably can if parents heeded this message. Do you see where the problem is and why this PSA is needed? Let your kids invite someone who might not have plans.

Nobody is disallowing this. Where did you get the idea that parents are gatekeeping any of this? And for the kids who “have the plans” guaranteed almost all of them had to reach out to someone to come up with the plan. That’s how plans evolve. Nobody is formally inviting anyone these are all very informal plans hatched by the kids themselves. No parents involved.

Oh they definitely gatekeep. Especially if they have to drive anywhere.

If you have such a chip on your shoulder about these people why do you care if your kid hangs out with them? Aren’t these the jerks, horrible people you’ve been grumbling about in here many pages?

That was a comment was from me- a NP. I'm simply clarifying that parents are involved when teens can't drive yet.

DP. It isn't gatekeeping to say "We only have 5 seats, so you can't invite more than 3 of your friends". Or that you're not planning to drive 30 minutes the opposite direction to pick up one kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These posts are kind of crazy. I think it's a really nice sentiment OP.

My child always tries look at the chat lists to see who else can be invited. Usually there are kids on the periphery of a group and it's nice to check in with them to see if they have plans. You'd be surprised how many times they do not have plans.

Exactly. I am floored by how many parents don't want their kids to do some reaching out. Like wuttt? It doesn't need to be a grand gesture. What's so bad about "hey, what are your hoco plans?" and if the answer is "nothing yet", what's so bad about saying "feel free to join us"

It's so basic.

I see it as the kid with no plans can easily ask their friend “hey, what are your hoco plans.” This is so bizarre.

Because jerk parents like you don't want "the fringe kid". Roll my eyes so hard.

FWIW, I think the term "fringe kid" came into this convo bc a mom said "I'm a parent of a fringe kid and I would love it"

Also, OP has clarified; we're not talking about "fringe kids", we're talking kids that are already friends. Which makes this even more bizarre bc I don't understand why a kid wouldn't text "hey, what are we doing for HoCo" if they are already friends

Because kids don't want to be turned down or get an awkward "I am going to X house but I can't invite you because it's not my house". So it's just easier for the kids who have plans to do the checking.

So you want the kid who is going to someone else’s house to invite someone to that house even though they can’t do that?

Except they probably can if parents heeded this message. Do you see where the problem is and why this PSA is needed? Let your kids invite someone who might not have plans.

Nobody is disallowing this. Where did you get the idea that parents are gatekeeping any of this? And for the kids who “have the plans” guaranteed almost all of them had to reach out to someone to come up with the plan. That’s how plans evolve. Nobody is formally inviting anyone these are all very informal plans hatched by the kids themselves. No parents involved.

Oh they definitely gatekeep. Especially if they have to drive anywhere.

If you have such a chip on your shoulder about these people why do you care if your kid hangs out with them? Aren’t these the jerks, horrible people you’ve been grumbling about in here many pages?

That was a comment was from me- a NP. I'm simply clarifying that parents are involved when teens can't drive yet.

DP. It isn't gatekeeping to say "We only have 5 seats, so you can't invite more than 3 of your friends". Or that you're not planning to drive 30 minutes the opposite direction to pick up one kid.

Can you think of any other reasons? Or is that it? I mean, just when I think we've heard all of the "reasons" here comes another one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These posts are kind of crazy. I think it's a really nice sentiment OP.

My child always tries look at the chat lists to see who else can be invited. Usually there are kids on the periphery of a group and it's nice to check in with them to see if they have plans. You'd be surprised how many times they do not have plans.

Exactly. I am floored by how many parents don't want their kids to do some reaching out. Like wuttt? It doesn't need to be a grand gesture. What's so bad about "hey, what are your hoco plans?" and if the answer is "nothing yet", what's so bad about saying "feel free to join us"

It's so basic.

I see it as the kid with no plans can easily ask their friend “hey, what are your hoco plans.” This is so bizarre.

Because jerk parents like you don't want "the fringe kid". Roll my eyes so hard.

FWIW, I think the term "fringe kid" came into this convo bc a mom said "I'm a parent of a fringe kid and I would love it"

Also, OP has clarified; we're not talking about "fringe kids", we're talking kids that are already friends. Which makes this even more bizarre bc I don't understand why a kid wouldn't text "hey, what are we doing for HoCo" if they are already friends

Because kids don't want to be turned down or get an awkward "I am going to X house but I can't invite you because it's not my house". So it's just easier for the kids who have plans to do the checking.

So you want the kid who is going to someone else’s house to invite someone to that house even though they can’t do that?

Except they probably can if parents heeded this message. Do you see where the problem is and why this PSA is needed? Let your kids invite someone who might not have plans.

Nobody is disallowing this. Where did you get the idea that parents are gatekeeping any of this? And for the kids who “have the plans” guaranteed almost all of them had to reach out to someone to come up with the plan. That’s how plans evolve. Nobody is formally inviting anyone these are all very informal plans hatched by the kids themselves. No parents involved.

Oh they definitely gatekeep. Especially if they have to drive anywhere.

If you have such a chip on your shoulder about these people why do you care if your kid hangs out with them? Aren’t these the jerks, horrible people you’ve been grumbling about in here many pages?

That was a comment was from me- a NP. I'm simply clarifying that parents are involved when teens can't drive yet.

DP. It isn't gatekeeping to say "We only have 5 seats, so you can't invite more than 3 of your friends". Or that you're not planning to drive 30 minutes the opposite direction to pick up one kid.

Can you think of any other reasons? Or is that it? I mean, just when I think we've heard all of the "reasons" here comes another one.

Can’t you just drive you own kid to meet their friends? Kids can show up and find their people at the dance without a specific meet up plan before. They don’t need a ride if you can drive. This is a long of angst over homecoming. I never even went to homecoming at my school.