
Literally no one said we couldn't drive our own kids. You are inventing reasons. |
Literally nobody said they would not allow their kid to invite an acquaintance. |
If anyone is gatekeeping it’s the parents here that feel others should be telling their kids whom to invite. If my teen has people they are going with that they decided on themselves, I’m not going to tell them they need to also invite people they aren’t friends with/didn’t want to go with, etc. That is up to them. It isn’t “mean” to not issue an invitation (to something that doesn’t even need an invitation) to everyone you know |
To add: doing that also encourages the narrative that they only way or the right way to go to Homecoming is in a group with a lots of hoopla. Which isn’t true at all. There are many ways to enjoy Homecoming, include going with one friend or showing up alone |
NP and I have not heard that either. I have a junior who didn’t go and has never gone. He didn’t go to middle school dances and likely won’t go to prom. By choice. He doesn’t want kids asking if he wants to come along because he doesn’t. And he doesn’t go around asking random teens if they want to hang out with his friends that they don’t know on any other Saturday night. Do you think he should start doing that too? No, kids should not go up to other kids to make sure they have hoco plans and invite them. It sounds like a recipe for trouble, not being inclusive. |
+1. Kindess is free. But clearly not modeled in many homes. |
It isn’t unkind to not invite someone to homecoming |
That’s not what OP is asking. She wants parents to force their kids to ask other random kids about their plans. Even if those kids themselves are awkward and shy. How is a parent going to “have their kid reach out?” Should we go thru the contact lists and make sure they know what everyone is up to? Should we have our kids report back to us at the end of day how many kids they approached? This is just an impractical request for parents to micromanage their kids social lives in a way that is very intrusive. I don’t even know half the kids my kids know. Not sure how I can make this happen. |
OP, your child is struggling. You are reacting how you always have. They continue to struggle. Change tactics. |
DP. No. That is not what she said. You are taking this to ridiculous extremes. Nobody wants you to do any of that. |
She said “have your kids reach out”. Explain how a parents makes that happen. |
PSA: not every kid wants or has to go to this dance.
PSA2: HOCO makes you sound like a complete moron who is trying to be “cool” around their high schooler.its not working. You sound like an idiot. |
Parent says, “Hey, you have your homecoming plans all set? Great, that sounds like a fun group! [talk more about the plan] Do you think there’s anyone you know who might want some kids to go with, but doesn’t have a group?” Option A: Kid says, “nope, no one I can think of!” End scene. Option B: Kid says something like, “I don’t know maybe. So-and-so said they might be going with so-and-so, but other-so-and-so has been kind of rude to them lately so they’re not sure what’s up.” Parent says, “ok, well if they need a plan B, it doesn’t hurt to reach out and let them know we have extra room in our car.” That’s it. That’s how you do it. No forcing. No reaching out to kids you don’t know. Just a little coaching on how to be a decent human. |
Clearly you have a daughter. |
+2. |