PSA-Hoco

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just wait, we’re going to get the tweens trick-or-treating version of this same thread in no time. Last year at this time, my 12 year old was getting stressed trying to figure out who he was going to walk around with in Halloween and my 15 year was stressed about who she might go to go to Homecoming with. I know that we had our own particular social struggles as kids, but I think these two phenomenons are blown way out of proportion these days because of both parents and kids wanting to post perfectly curated pictures of their friend groups on social media.

They are. But parents keep it going like to OP insisting others invite kids they aren’t friends with so everyone feels included. Teens need to learn to be comfortable and confident being themselves - not stressing over what everyone else is doing and waiting around to be asked to do something

Oh how I wish some of you just weren't able to procreate. It's one thing to teach resilience. That is not at all what is being discussed here. It's entirely different to extend an invitation to a kid who really might want to go but feels too embarrassed or too shy to ask a large group. Believe me, the kids who aren't invited are a lot more resilient than the popular kids. They've dealt with rejection, bullying, loneliness, etc their whole life. They know rejection and being alone all too well. They might not know kindness and inclusion, however. I guess that's too much for your super social kid to deal with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These posts are kind of crazy. I think it's a really nice sentiment OP.

My child always tries look at the chat lists to see who else can be invited. Usually there are kids on the periphery of a group and it's nice to check in with them to see if they have plans. You'd be surprised how many times they do not have plans.

Exactly. I am floored by how many parents don't want their kids to do some reaching out. Like wuttt? It doesn't need to be a grand gesture. What's so bad about "hey, what are your hoco plans?" and if the answer is "nothing yet", what's so bad about saying "feel free to join us"

It's so basic.

I see it as the kid with no plans can easily ask their friend “hey, what are your hoco plans.” This is so bizarre.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These posts are kind of crazy. I think it's a really nice sentiment OP.

My child always tries look at the chat lists to see who else can be invited. Usually there are kids on the periphery of a group and it's nice to check in with them to see if they have plans. You'd be surprised how many times they do not have plans.

Exactly. I am floored by how many parents don't want their kids to do some reaching out. Like wuttt? It doesn't need to be a grand gesture. What's so bad about "hey, what are your hoco plans?" and if the answer is "nothing yet", what's so bad about saying "feel free to join us"

It's so basic.

I see it as the kid with no plans can easily ask their friend “hey, what are your hoco plans.” This is so bizarre.

Because jerk parents like you don't want "the fringe kid". Roll my eyes so hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These posts are kind of crazy. I think it's a really nice sentiment OP.

My child always tries look at the chat lists to see who else can be invited. Usually there are kids on the periphery of a group and it's nice to check in with them to see if they have plans. You'd be surprised how many times they do not have plans.

Exactly. I am floored by how many parents don't want their kids to do some reaching out. Like wuttt? It doesn't need to be a grand gesture. What's so bad about "hey, what are your hoco plans?" and if the answer is "nothing yet", what's so bad about saying "feel free to join us"

It's so basic.

I see it as the kid with no plans can easily ask their friend “hey, what are your hoco plans.” This is so bizarre.

The only bizarre thing is you not understanding that shy kids or anxious kids may not have the courage to do that. Is that really so difficult for you?

You’re putting the onus on them when your outgoing or social kid can easily just do as the PP said. But then I guess you would have to face you and your kids’ shi—y attitude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These posts are kind of crazy. I think it's a really nice sentiment OP.

My child always tries look at the chat lists to see who else can be invited. Usually there are kids on the periphery of a group and it's nice to check in with them to see if they have plans. You'd be surprised how many times they do not have plans.

Exactly. I am floored by how many parents don't want their kids to do some reaching out. Like wuttt? It doesn't need to be a grand gesture. What's so bad about "hey, what are your hoco plans?" and if the answer is "nothing yet", what's so bad about saying "feel free to join us"

It's so basic.

I see it as the kid with no plans can easily ask their friend “hey, what are your hoco plans.” This is so bizarre.

Because jerk parents like you don't want "the fringe kid". Roll my eyes so hard.

Do you think parents are sitting around texting everyone at the last minute seeing who will show up where? Rolling my eyes right back at you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These posts are kind of crazy. I think it's a really nice sentiment OP.

My child always tries look at the chat lists to see who else can be invited. Usually there are kids on the periphery of a group and it's nice to check in with them to see if they have plans. You'd be surprised how many times they do not have plans.

Exactly. I am floored by how many parents don't want their kids to do some reaching out. Like wuttt? It doesn't need to be a grand gesture. What's so bad about "hey, what are your hoco plans?" and if the answer is "nothing yet", what's so bad about saying "feel free to join us"

It's so basic.

I see it as the kid with no plans can easily ask their friend “hey, what are your hoco plans.” This is so bizarre.

The only bizarre thing is you not understanding that shy kids or anxious kids may not have the courage to do that. Is that really so difficult for you?

You’re putting the onus on them when your outgoing or social kid can easily just do as the PP said. But then I guess you would have to face you and your kids’ shi—y attitude.

Most kids are shy and anxious these days not to mention insecure. Have you seen the kids and their social skills? Do you know many teens?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These posts are kind of crazy. I think it's a really nice sentiment OP.

My child always tries look at the chat lists to see who else can be invited. Usually there are kids on the periphery of a group and it's nice to check in with them to see if they have plans. You'd be surprised how many times they do not have plans.

Exactly. I am floored by how many parents don't want their kids to do some reaching out. Like wuttt? It doesn't need to be a grand gesture. What's so bad about "hey, what are your hoco plans?" and if the answer is "nothing yet", what's so bad about saying "feel free to join us"

It's so basic.

I see it as the kid with no plans can easily ask their friend “hey, what are your hoco plans.” This is so bizarre.

Because jerk parents like you don't want "the fringe kid". Roll my eyes so hard.

FWIW, I think the term "fringe kid" came into this convo bc a mom said "I'm a parent of a fringe kid and I would love it"

Also, OP has clarified; we're not talking about "fringe kids", we're talking kids that are already friends. Which makes this even more bizarre bc I don't understand why a kid wouldn't text "hey, what are we doing for HoCo" if they are already friends

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These posts are kind of crazy. I think it's a really nice sentiment OP.

My child always tries look at the chat lists to see who else can be invited. Usually there are kids on the periphery of a group and it's nice to check in with them to see if they have plans. You'd be surprised how many times they do not have plans.

Exactly. I am floored by how many parents don't want their kids to do some reaching out. Like wuttt? It doesn't need to be a grand gesture. What's so bad about "hey, what are your hoco plans?" and if the answer is "nothing yet", what's so bad about saying "feel free to join us"

It's so basic.

I see it as the kid with no plans can easily ask their friend “hey, what are your hoco plans.” This is so bizarre.

The only bizarre thing is you not understanding that shy kids or anxious kids may not have the courage to do that. Is that really so difficult for you?

You’re putting the onus on them when your outgoing or social kid can easily just do as the PP said. But then I guess you would have to face you and your kids’ shi—y attitude.

But we keep talking in circles.

In this scenario, it sounds like that shy kid isn't friends with the extroverted kid. Bc even when you're a shy kid, once you have an established friendship, you feel comfortable acting yourself.

But if you're still shy around these other people, then your not that close to them. Which makes it unfair to put the responsibility on them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These posts are kind of crazy. I think it's a really nice sentiment OP.

My child always tries look at the chat lists to see who else can be invited. Usually there are kids on the periphery of a group and it's nice to check in with them to see if they have plans. You'd be surprised how many times they do not have plans.

Exactly. I am floored by how many parents don't want their kids to do some reaching out. Like wuttt? It doesn't need to be a grand gesture. What's so bad about "hey, what are your hoco plans?" and if the answer is "nothing yet", what's so bad about saying "feel free to join us"

It's so basic.

I see it as the kid with no plans can easily ask their friend “hey, what are your hoco plans.” This is so bizarre.

Because jerk parents like you don't want "the fringe kid". Roll my eyes so hard.

FWIW, I think the term "fringe kid" came into this convo bc a mom said "I'm a parent of a fringe kid and I would love it"

Also, OP has clarified; we're not talking about "fringe kids", we're talking kids that are already friends. Which makes this even more bizarre bc I don't understand why a kid wouldn't text "hey, what are we doing for HoCo" if they are already friends

Because kids don't want to be turned down or get an awkward "I am going to X house but I can't invite you because it's not my house". So it's just easier for the kids who have plans to do the checking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These posts are kind of crazy. I think it's a really nice sentiment OP.

My child always tries look at the chat lists to see who else can be invited. Usually there are kids on the periphery of a group and it's nice to check in with them to see if they have plans. You'd be surprised how many times they do not have plans.

Exactly. I am floored by how many parents don't want their kids to do some reaching out. Like wuttt? It doesn't need to be a grand gesture. What's so bad about "hey, what are your hoco plans?" and if the answer is "nothing yet", what's so bad about saying "feel free to join us"

It's so basic.

I see it as the kid with no plans can easily ask their friend “hey, what are your hoco plans.” This is so bizarre.

Because jerk parents like you don't want "the fringe kid". Roll my eyes so hard.

FWIW, I think the term "fringe kid" came into this convo bc a mom said "I'm a parent of a fringe kid and I would love it"

Also, OP has clarified; we're not talking about "fringe kids", we're talking kids that are already friends. Which makes this even more bizarre bc I don't understand why a kid wouldn't text "hey, what are we doing for HoCo" if they are already friends

No we very much are talking about fringe kids. You're just trying to fit the narrative so you're absolved. But you already are. No need to do anything. Feel better?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These posts are kind of crazy. I think it's a really nice sentiment OP.

My child always tries look at the chat lists to see who else can be invited. Usually there are kids on the periphery of a group and it's nice to check in with them to see if they have plans. You'd be surprised how many times they do not have plans.

Exactly. I am floored by how many parents don't want their kids to do some reaching out. Like wuttt? It doesn't need to be a grand gesture. What's so bad about "hey, what are your hoco plans?" and if the answer is "nothing yet", what's so bad about saying "feel free to join us"

It's so basic.

I see it as the kid with no plans can easily ask their friend “hey, what are your hoco plans.” This is so bizarre.

Because jerk parents like you don't want "the fringe kid". Roll my eyes so hard.

FWIW, I think the term "fringe kid" came into this convo bc a mom said "I'm a parent of a fringe kid and I would love it"

Also, OP has clarified; we're not talking about "fringe kids", we're talking kids that are already friends. Which makes this even more bizarre bc I don't understand why a kid wouldn't text "hey, what are we doing for HoCo" if they are already friends

Because kids don't want to be turned down or get an awkward "I am going to X house but I can't invite you because it's not my house". So it's just easier for the kids who have plans to do the checking.

Exactly!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These posts are kind of crazy. I think it's a really nice sentiment OP.

My child always tries look at the chat lists to see who else can be invited. Usually there are kids on the periphery of a group and it's nice to check in with them to see if they have plans. You'd be surprised how many times they do not have plans.

Exactly. I am floored by how many parents don't want their kids to do some reaching out. Like wuttt? It doesn't need to be a grand gesture. What's so bad about "hey, what are your hoco plans?" and if the answer is "nothing yet", what's so bad about saying "feel free to join us"

It's so basic.

I see it as the kid with no plans can easily ask their friend “hey, what are your hoco plans.” This is so bizarre.

Because jerk parents like you don't want "the fringe kid". Roll my eyes so hard.

FWIW, I think the term "fringe kid" came into this convo bc a mom said "I'm a parent of a fringe kid and I would love it"

Also, OP has clarified; we're not talking about "fringe kids", we're talking kids that are already friends. Which makes this even more bizarre bc I don't understand why a kid wouldn't text "hey, what are we doing for HoCo" if they are already friends

Because kids don't want to be turned down or get an awkward "I am going to X house but I can't invite you because it's not my house". So it's just easier for the kids who have plans to do the checking.

So you want the kid who is going to someone else’s house to invite someone to that house even though they can’t do that?

[Anonymous]

This suggestion by the OP is so bizarre. I have two kids who never went to HC, are the shy and quiet types.
I wouldn’t want some other kid reaching out to mine as a pity invite, which this basically would be.
Also, sometimes the kids who aren’t going actually don’t want to go. I know that might be hard for some of you to understand.
Adding that I never went to HC and have no regrets! Would never have agreed to go with a group that I was just on the fringes of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These posts are kind of crazy. I think it's a really nice sentiment OP.

My child always tries look at the chat lists to see who else can be invited. Usually there are kids on the periphery of a group and it's nice to check in with them to see if they have plans. You'd be surprised how many times they do not have plans.

Exactly. I am floored by how many parents don't want their kids to do some reaching out. Like wuttt? It doesn't need to be a grand gesture. What's so bad about "hey, what are your hoco plans?" and if the answer is "nothing yet", what's so bad about saying "feel free to join us"

It's so basic.

I see it as the kid with no plans can easily ask their friend “hey, what are your hoco plans.” This is so bizarre.

Because jerk parents like you don't want "the fringe kid". Roll my eyes so hard.

FWIW, I think the term "fringe kid" came into this convo bc a mom said "I'm a parent of a fringe kid and I would love it"

Also, OP has clarified; we're not talking about "fringe kids", we're talking kids that are already friends. Which makes this even more bizarre bc I don't understand why a kid wouldn't text "hey, what are we doing for HoCo" if they are already friends

Because kids don't want to be turned down or get an awkward "I am going to X house but I can't invite you because it's not my house". So it's just easier for the kids who have plans to do the checking.

So you want the kid who is going to someone else’s house to invite someone to that house even though they can’t do that?

Except they probably can if parents heeded this message. Do you see where the problem is and why this PSA is needed? Let your kids invite someone who might not have plans.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This suggestion by the OP is so bizarre. I have two kids who never went to HC, are the shy and quiet types.
I wouldn’t want some other kid reaching out to mine as a pity invite, which this basically would be.
Also, sometimes the kids who aren’t going actually don’t want to go. I know that might be hard for some of you to understand.
Adding that I never went to HC and have no regrets! Would never have agreed to go with a group that I was just on the fringes of.

Cool, well if someone were have the audacity to ask one of your kids if they felt like coming with, they could just say “not really my thing, but thanks for asking!”