Does anyone else find ‘cherish these moments’ parenting advice a little traumatizing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t get me wrong - I 100% understand that life goes by pretty fast (h/t Ferris bueller) and no part more so than your kids childhood. Buuuut I feel like I’m already in a permanent state of semi existential crisis due to this fact, while also parenting is insanely hard at times. It’s no one’s fault
- it’s not like there’s a ‘treasure every moment’ lobby group. I just - when I see that or hear it I’m like - I know I am trying my best people!! 😭🤬

No, you sound like a stressed mom trying to balance it all and feel like you are not doing enough so you feel traumatized when you hear this phrase. I 100% prioritize my kids as much as possible and to me it's been worth the sacrifices. There are times as they get older that I realize, they just need you. They need you to notice, pay attention, comfort, etc... Plus mine is 10 and I am shocked that yesterday she was an infant and in 8 short years she will be 18??? That makes no sense at all to me, I will cherish every little moment as much as I humanly can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are older women with old kids being called "Mommy". This is not the cute catchphrase someone thinks it is.

I think in some bizarre way its meant to be an insult? Its unclear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ What I meant to say is it's me, not you.

Then don’t put it on me, or make it about me.

Umm, I didn't. You made it about you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t get me wrong - I 100% understand that life goes by pretty fast (h/t Ferris bueller) and no part more so than your kids childhood. Buuuut I feel like I’m already in a permanent state of semi existential crisis due to this fact, while also parenting is insanely hard at times. It’s no one’s fault
- it’s not like there’s a ‘treasure every moment’ lobby group. I just - when I see that or hear it I’m like - I know I am trying my best people!! 😭🤬

No, you sound like a stressed mom trying to balance it all and feel like you are not doing enough so you feel traumatized when you hear this phrase. I 100% prioritize my kids as much as possible and to me it's been worth the sacrifices. There are times as they get older that I realize, they just need you. They need you to notice, pay attention, comfort, etc... Plus mine is 10 and I am shocked that yesterday she was an infant and in 8 short years she will be 18??? That makes no sense at all to me, I will cherish every little moment as much as I humanly can.

Yes, PP, you’re just not doing enough. You’re not doing it right. You’re not present. You’re not there for your kids. You really should spend the free time (which shouldn’t be free, you should be present with your kids) ruminating on how you need to be more present with your kids. Prioritize your kids as much as possible, and sacrifice. They just need you! Notice, pay attention and comfort…them, not ever yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ What I meant to say is it's me, not you.

Then don’t put it on me, or make it about me.

Umm, I didn't. You made it about you.

You walked up to me in the park and said “you think it’s rough now, just you wait” and that’s…not about me? That’s exactly the type of scenario this thread is about.

[Anonymous]

This is hilarious. If we wanted to make you feel bad we'd tell you about how it feels to sleep all night and sleep in and travel when we like and how awesome it is to not have to deal with the schools. I could go on and on about how wonderful it is to have grown kids. I don't do this but people have been doing this since time immemorial. Know that you are doing things that people younger than you think are weird or annoying or stupid. Everyone is a little bit annoying. Happiness is a choice. You can't change other people and certainly not strangers, so you can get all worked up and feel angry and assume they are intentionally being smug or hurtful and be angry and hurt about it or you can assume that they mean the best and feel good about people trying to be kind and appreciating your children albeit ham handedly. In one case you will feel bad and in the other you will feel good. It is all up to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ What I meant to say is it's me, not you.

Then don’t put it on me, or make it about me.

Umm, I didn't. You made it about you.

You walked up to me in the park and said “you think it’s rough now, just you wait” and that’s…not about me? That’s exactly the type of scenario this thread is about.

What! It didn't say that in the OP. I've never told someone it's rough. I've said what's in the OP "time goes in the blink of an eye" because in no way would I say "cherish." I don't accost strangers by walking up to them and uttering it, though it's come up in light conversation.

My intention isn't to harm, it's to bond. To show that I'm wistful. If that insults you, you can tell me when I say it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is hilarious. If we wanted to make you feel bad we'd tell you about how it feels to sleep all night and sleep in and travel when we like and how awesome it is to not have to deal with the schools. I could go on and on about how wonderful it is to have grown kids. I don't do this but people have been doing this since time immemorial. Know that you are doing things that people younger than you think are weird or annoying or stupid. Everyone is a little bit annoying. Happiness is a choice. You can't change other people and certainly not strangers, so you can get all worked up and feel angry and assume they are intentionally being smug or hurtful and be angry and hurt about it or you can assume that they mean the best and feel good about people trying to be kind and appreciating your children albeit ham handedly. In one case you will feel bad and in the other you will feel good. It is all up to you.

I sincerely hope we are friends.

[Anonymous]

New moms are the most smug and the most competitive with other new moms. "Oh your baby doesn't sleep through the night? Mine does." or "Oh yours only has a few words? Mine is speaking in sentences. Or "He doesn't walk yet? Buster was walking at 8 months." That crap bothered me far more than the stranger in the grocery store getting wistful about how big their kids are now and how they used to be little like mine. Luckily the the mom BS gets better when they have their 2nd and are knocked down a few pegs. The older moms have nothing on the new moms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is hilarious. If we wanted to make you feel bad we'd tell you about how it feels to sleep all night and sleep in and travel when we like and how awesome it is to not have to deal with the schools. I could go on and on about how wonderful it is to have grown kids. I don't do this but people have been doing this since time immemorial. Know that you are doing things that people younger than you think are weird or annoying or stupid. Everyone is a little bit annoying. Happiness is a choice. You can't change other people and certainly not strangers, so you can get all worked up and feel angry and assume they are intentionally being smug or hurtful and be angry and hurt about it or you can assume that they mean the best and feel good about people trying to be kind and appreciating your children albeit ham handedly. In one case you will feel bad and in the other you will feel good. It is all up to you.

And yet here you are, trying to argue people out of their feelings, perspective and preferences. Why, when apparently you can not get all worked up? It’s all up to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is hilarious. If we wanted to make you feel bad we'd tell you about how it feels to sleep all night and sleep in and travel when we like and how awesome it is to not have to deal with the schools. I could go on and on about how wonderful it is to have grown kids. I don't do this but people have been doing this since time immemorial. Know that you are doing things that people younger than you think are weird or annoying or stupid. Everyone is a little bit annoying. Happiness is a choice. You can't change other people and certainly not strangers, so you can get all worked up and feel angry and assume they are intentionally being smug or hurtful and be angry and hurt about it or you can assume that they mean the best and feel good about people trying to be kind and appreciating your children albeit ham handedly. In one case you will feel bad and in the other you will feel good. It is all up to you.

And yet here you are, trying to argue people out of their feelings, perspective and preferences. Why, when apparently you can not get all worked up? It’s all up to you.

I've been thinking this for a few pages now, but I'm pretty sure now that you are a troll. There is just no way anyone is that upset about someone telling people to cherish their babies. Especially not someone with an "awesome husband, parents, friends, village, etc."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is hilarious. If we wanted to make you feel bad we'd tell you about how it feels to sleep all night and sleep in and travel when we like and how awesome it is to not have to deal with the schools. I could go on and on about how wonderful it is to have grown kids. I don't do this but people have been doing this since time immemorial. Know that you are doing things that people younger than you think are weird or annoying or stupid. Everyone is a little bit annoying. Happiness is a choice. You can't change other people and certainly not strangers, so you can get all worked up and feel angry and assume they are intentionally being smug or hurtful and be angry and hurt about it or you can assume that they mean the best and feel good about people trying to be kind and appreciating your children albeit ham handedly. In one case you will feel bad and in the other you will feel good. It is all up to you.

And yet here you are, trying to argue people out of their feelings, perspective and preferences. Why, when apparently you can not get all worked up? It’s all up to you.

I've been thinking this for a few pages now, but I'm pretty sure now that you are a troll. There is just no way anyone is that upset about someone telling people to cherish their babies. Especially not someone with an "awesome husband, parents, friends, village, etc."

OK?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is hilarious. If we wanted to make you feel bad we'd tell you about how it feels to sleep all night and sleep in and travel when we like and how awesome it is to not have to deal with the schools. I could go on and on about how wonderful it is to have grown kids. I don't do this but people have been doing this since time immemorial. Know that you are doing things that people younger than you think are weird or annoying or stupid. Everyone is a little bit annoying. Happiness is a choice. You can't change other people and certainly not strangers, so you can get all worked up and feel angry and assume they are intentionally being smug or hurtful and be angry and hurt about it or you can assume that they mean the best and feel good about people trying to be kind and appreciating your children albeit ham handedly. In one case you will feel bad and in the other you will feel good. It is all up to you.

And yet here you are, trying to argue people out of their feelings, perspective and preferences. Why, when apparently you can not get all worked up? It’s all up to you.

What about the phrasing implied that I was worked up?

[Anonymous]

If more people are like op it will make me want to avoid any conversations with young moms for fear of insulting them while trying to be human and connect.

So, congrats, I guess

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If more people are like op it will make me want to avoid any conversations with young moms for fear of insulting them while trying to be human and connect.

So, congrats, I guess

I guess if you’re deliberately obtuse and persist in unsolicited advice and “just you waits” verses, you know, smiling at someone or greeting someone and saying they have a cute baby, then yeah. I think young moms will be better off if you do leave them be. If “little kids, little problems” is your idea of a warm conversation starter, they are better off being left alone.