Discrepancy between you want vs what you can get

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is depressing. I know this lifestyle of wealthy people very well. The grass is not greener on that side, no! My exH is an actual multi millionaire, he's worth over $100mm (probably one of the wealthiest persons in DMV area, if not #1). He lives in a central DC mansion all on himself (did't marry his AP, just dates her as he doesn't trust anyone); locks his doors and windows on coded locks overnight; screams at our son at custodial visits; drinks secretly liqueur and is extremely unhappy person. He's a serial cheater (I was the wife #2, he's now with his AP. I know many SAHM from CC, many of them continue working and are successful. They are not necessarily Ivy educated but are successful real estate agents, gym owners etc. Money is with private business equity owners (chain retail, oli&gas, real estate, hotels, finance, law equity partners etc), not in 9-5pm corporate world. And what about Chevy Chase and Bethesda that makes living there so special? These are classical upper middle neighborhoods with boring retirees where I personally would never live.

Am I unhappy after we divorced and now longer living the millionaire life with catered parties, boat trips, private planes rides to Alaska? The answer is I am the happiest person in the world in my Kalorama townhouse with my can and my kids. I am no longer a multi-whatever but nobody is cheating on me, making me feel like I am below them, not worthy their family, friends and connections. I don't want to remarry ever again.

And I think I know that 60 y.o. wealthy doctor from CC who cheated and got divorced with his exwife. Whoever is dating him be very careful: the guy was violent during his divorce. He made his exW, a well know CC real estate agent, take huge loans fighting for custody an alimony. Then he wanted to reconcile 3 years after divorce, but she didn't take him and lives her calm life of a 60 y.o. cat lady in CC.

OP, just pick an IT guy in data science making 100K/year, move to an area with good public schools like Arlington or Bethesda (you can buy a condo). And be happy!

FYI, IT guys in data science make way more than that if they are, in fact, doing real data science jobs, not code monkeys.

What I meant is that 100K is an out of grad school and pretty decent salary for data science. A guy like this (maybe shorter than average and not as good looking as she imagined) would be a perfect match for OP. They are usually unpretentious, go home stuff and have great earning potential for the future (maybe even 300K that OP shoots for). She just needs to "invest" in her man, like many women do and don't approach it with instant gratification attitude

Data science guys get $100K fresh out of undergrad. $100K out of grad school - that’s somewhere with a low cost of living and super flexible remote job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. SO much hatred at the OP!! What is wrong with a woman wanting to marry a high value man?

Why is this so triggering to you?

Since you asked, what triggers me is stating that people are either “high value” or “low value”. It is reductive and demeaning to all.

Yeah right, I'm sure you're just defending the virtue of other humans with your sick attitudes and cutdowns.

In answer to your question it's because they secretly feel "there but for the grace of gd go I" and live in fear of their husbands leaving them, or cheating while staying.

[Anonymous]

RN nurses start at &133k

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow. SO much hatred at the OP!! What is wrong with a woman wanting to marry a high value man?

Why is this so triggering to you?

What triggers them is they don't want her getting their high-value man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you looking for romantic partners or business partners?

OP here. After putting myself through college and graduate school and acquiring a fulfilling and interesting policy job, I really do not want to marry some average joe making 100k a year so we can squeeze into a 500k townhouse in Vienna and take yearly vacations to OBX.

I want a SHF in Chevy Chase, private school for my kids and international vacations.

Why NOT me? Only because I am not blonde and skinny?

Its depressing.

Arranged marriage works best in your situation

Arranged marriages are a tough deal for fat people.
Unless you’re fat in the US and willing to marry someone overseas and bring them here. Then someone may be willing to marry a fat person in exchange for a life in the US.
Fat/dark skin/too short/any physical imperfection at all is an issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:RN nurses start at &133k

in what universe?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you looking for romantic partners or business partners?

OP here. After putting myself through college and graduate school and acquiring a fulfilling and interesting policy job, I really do not want to marry some average joe making 100k a year so we can squeeze into a 500k townhouse in Vienna and take yearly vacations to OBX.

I want a SHF in Chevy Chase, private school for my kids and international vacations.

Why NOT me? Only because I am not blonde and skinny?

Its depressing.

No, it’s that you are self-absorbed, shallow, and unappealing.

[Anonymous]

OP, your choices are to remain a chubby or fat Bitter Betty who will increasingly be alone as your attitude repels people or to work on your personality in therapy, do what you can to work on your appearance rather than stuffing feelings with sweets and starch and see where life takes you.

Your fantasy of some wealthy man seeing your "inner beauty" is a childish Disney fantasy. Time to grow up and take responsibility for your negative and entitled thinking and how you present yourself in the world.

Bitter and slovenly is not a winning combo. Cling to it or try something new.

[Anonymous]

OP sounds too unattractive to land a high value man. Men with options want a woman who is thin and beautiful. If the OP really wanted to land a catch, she would have started hitting the gym a decade ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

The other thing is, you are an incel troll from one of those boards where men think this is how women end up when they don’t marry the high school loser young. That they wind up in their forties and just won’t date them because they’re “not worthy”. I have never met a woman in her 40s in DC with a good job who has not had the opportunity to marry at least once— many just know it would be better to remain single and they will never be so desperate as to date you. So could you please stop starting these threads in an effort to get someone to say “gosh you should have given that creep from high school a chance!” Because No One Is Ever Going To.

Revenge of the nerds, baby!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you looking for romantic partners or business partners?

OP here. After putting myself through college and graduate school and acquiring a fulfilling and interesting policy job, I really do not want to marry some average joe making 100k a year so we can squeeze into a 500k townhouse in Vienna and take yearly vacations to OBX.

I want a SHF in Chevy Chase, private school for my kids and international vacations.

Why NOT me? Only because I am not blonde and skinny?

Its depressing.

Arranged marriage works best in your situation

Arranged marriages are a tough deal for fat people.
Unless you’re fat in the US and willing to marry someone overseas and bring them here. Then someone may be willing to marry a fat person in exchange for a life in the US.
Fat/dark skin/too short/any physical imperfection at all is an issue.

I don’t think a woman being too short is an issue. Unless we are talking something extreme like 4’6. Even very petite women 5’0 and slightly under can be considered highly attractive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you looking for romantic partners or business partners?

OP here. After putting myself through college and graduate school and acquiring a fulfilling and interesting policy job, I really do not want to marry some average joe making 100k a year so we can squeeze into a 500k townhouse in Vienna and take yearly vacations to OBX.

I want a SHF in Chevy Chase, private school for my kids and international vacations.

Why NOT me? Only because I am not blonde and skinny?

Its depressing.

Okay, you lost me here. My DH is a fed and you would probably find him “unworthy” based on his income and the fact that OBX would be a much-anticipated vacation - but he’s my best friend, my rock through cancer, a wonderful father, partner and companion in life. I cannot imagine categorizing people as “worthy” or “unworthy” based on the superficial criteria you have mentioned.

Regardless - NO YOU SHOULD NOT marry someone you perceive as unworthy. That would be cruel. I have a hard time believing you are for real.

And this is why she and her friend are single. They ticked all the boxes and are expecting prince's to roll up. Ain't happening with that attitude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A couple of girlfriends and I have been having some honest discussions about this. We are still single into our late 30s and have good DC type jobs. (Non profits/think tanks). We are well educated and relatively successful and we each had a certain ideas about our future husbands. We wanted a go-getter professionally successful types but those guys never seemed particularly interested in us. I can say objectively that although bright and hardworking, neither of us is particularly conventionally attractive. Those guys seem to date and marry the pretty unassuming skinny type of girls.

So here we are in a dilemma. Marry someone we do not think is "worthy" of us or stay single, as the guys we want never wanted us anyway.

WWYD?

Would you want to marry someone who thought you were not “worthy”?

+1

Excellent point.

'Cause that's all she can get?!

[Anonymous]

Friend will probably wise up, drop the pounds and attitude and land a guy.

OP will be all alone even more bitter and refusing to take responsibility for her life choices, her health and her personality. Sad.

[Anonymous]

Maybe you should drop the entitlement, stop being bitter Betty, and make your own money. Stop expecting a man to provide you with the things you want and provide them for yourself. You know the other great thing about giving yourself the material things you desire? You don't have to marry for a lifestyle...you can marry purely for love.

I'm about your age, have a policy job, but I'm guessing I probably make at least twice as much as you do. I'm also reasonably thin and am told I am attractive very frequently. However, I've never waited for a man to provide me the things I want. I buy my own luxury car if I want, jewelry, clothes, have a healthy housing budget. I travel internationally and domestically frequently. I've dated very, very successful men, I've dated local celebrity-types. However, the man I loved the most was an advanced sommelier who worked in the restaurants his entire life. And I could because I didn't need his money...I provided myself with the life I wanted. While it didn't work out with us ultimately, I am so grateful for that experience and feeling like, for the time we had, I had a true partner who really loved me for me (and I him.) If I was hung up on stuff, it never would have happened.

Also, there is an entire world out there and an entire life to be lived outside of a man. Why don't you focus on that? Sitting around being bitter you don't have a CC husband clearly isn't making you happy. Maybe work on living a happy life for you first...you may be surprised what comes from there.