How to marry a financially compatible man?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m female in my late 40s and make $500k. My kids are taken care of and their father makes just under $1M.

I get what you’re looking for—someone who can keep up with you financially and culturally. It’s expensive to travel to Europe for 2 weeks in summer, spend 2 weeks skiing in the winter, and have a few long weekends. You’re future partner needs to be able to pay their own way. People on DCUM are so quick to tell women who want a more extravagant lifestyle to get their own money. Well, you have your own money. I don’t see why what you’re looking for is unreasonable. However, in the DC area it’s probably not realistic. You need to look in NY or Silicon Valley.

Vomit. And yes, you are right. Those men are not in DC. Which is why I told a family member to leave 20 years ago...and he did and now very wealthy.

What is there to vomit about?

You live in an unrealistic bubble about what matters. It is especially disgusting since you have money and waste it on “lifestyle” and BS appearances.

Lady, stocks are on sale. You’re an idiot. There are plenty of index funds that will do very very well if you buy in now.

Sorry. Money does matter. It's all well and good to be idealistic that love conquers all. And then reality creeps in and life is expensive. How many people on DCUM outsource everything that they can? That's not trivial money. If OP wants to travel then that's what's important to her. You many consider it a waste on "lifestyle" but at 40 with a grown child, what do you think she should be doing? Her kid is off to college, she has her retirement money already. I have no idea what sort of non wasteful lifestyle expenses you think she should be spending her money on.

Investing it. Not spending 40k a year on travel and 15k on country club memberships. It is vapid.

Ok here: hi , go ahead tell me where I should be investing. I am open for your ideas. I personally couldn’t find anything better than CDs and waiting out for housing crash sitting on cash for the next 2 years. So please, tell me your secret stocks. I exited stocks in the fall

You are an idiot. Stocks are on sale. There are plenty of vanguard index funds to invest in that will bounce back in the future anybody who invest should know that they are playing the long game and you are stupid to sell stocks in the fall. Dumb.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m female in my late 40s and make $500k. My kids are taken care of and their father makes just under $1M.

I get what you’re looking for—someone who can keep up with you financially and culturally. It’s expensive to travel to Europe for 2 weeks in summer, spend 2 weeks skiing in the winter, and have a few long weekends. You’re future partner needs to be able to pay their own way. People on DCUM are so quick to tell women who want a more extravagant lifestyle to get their own money. Well, you have your own money. I don’t see why what you’re looking for is unreasonable. However, in the DC area it’s probably not realistic. You need to look in NY or Silicon Valley.

Vomit. And yes, you are right. Those men are not in DC. Which is why I told a family member to leave 20 years ago...and he did and now very wealthy.

What is there to vomit about?

You live in an unrealistic bubble about what matters. It is especially disgusting since you have money and waste it on “lifestyle” and BS appearances.

Lady, stocks are on sale. You’re an idiot. There are plenty of index funds that will do very very well if you buy in now.

Sorry. Money does matter. It's all well and good to be idealistic that love conquers all. And then reality creeps in and life is expensive. How many people on DCUM outsource everything that they can? That's not trivial money. If OP wants to travel then that's what's important to her. You many consider it a waste on "lifestyle" but at 40 with a grown child, what do you think she should be doing? Her kid is off to college, she has her retirement money already. I have no idea what sort of non wasteful lifestyle expenses you think she should be spending her money on.

Investing it. Not spending 40k a year on travel and 15k on country club memberships. It is vapid.

Ok here: hi , go ahead tell me where I should be investing. I am open for your ideas. I personally couldn’t find anything better than CDs and waiting out for housing crash sitting on cash for the next 2 years. So please, tell me your secret stocks. I exited stocks in the fall

You are an idiot. Stocks are on sale. There are plenty of vanguard index funds to invest in that will bounce back in the future anybody who invest should know that they are playing the long game and you are stupid to sell stocks in the fall. Dumb.

A "home grown trader" who is so psychotic and reactive about stocks won't be a good financial or social match for me.

Signed OP.

[Anonymous]

Of course income and wealth matter. It's disingenuous to pretend they don't. Lots of misogyny here trying to tear down middle aged women and tell them they have little value. 20's and early 30's women usually don't date 40 something year old men with children unless they're damaged. The people saying OP is competing with the never been married 25 year olds are off their rocker.

OP, tell all your friends that you want to date and ask them to set you up. See if your country club has any singles events. That's likely the best way for you to meet someone with the qualities you're looking for. Try an expensive singles vacation abroad if that doesn't work. The key is to do activities with a higher cost of entry so the men there can likely afford it.

If you do OLD, then don't post your wealth or expectations. You could attract some scary scam artists after your money.

Good luck and I hope you find what you're looking for!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m female in my late 40s and make $500k. My kids are taken care of and their father makes just under $1M.

I get what you’re looking for—someone who can keep up with you financially and culturally. It’s expensive to travel to Europe for 2 weeks in summer, spend 2 weeks skiing in the winter, and have a few long weekends. You’re future partner needs to be able to pay their own way. People on DCUM are so quick to tell women who want a more extravagant lifestyle to get their own money. Well, you have your own money. I don’t see why what you’re looking for is unreasonable. However, in the DC area it’s probably not realistic. You need to look in NY or Silicon Valley.

Vomit. And yes, you are right. Those men are not in DC. Which is why I told a family member to leave 20 years ago...and he did and now very wealthy.

What is there to vomit about?

You live in an unrealistic bubble about what matters. It is especially disgusting since you have money and waste it on “lifestyle” and BS appearances.

Lady, stocks are on sale. You’re an idiot. There are plenty of index funds that will do very very well if you buy in now.

Sorry. Money does matter. It's all well and good to be idealistic that love conquers all. And then reality creeps in and life is expensive. How many people on DCUM outsource everything that they can? That's not trivial money. If OP wants to travel then that's what's important to her. You many consider it a waste on "lifestyle" but at 40 with a grown child, what do you think she should be doing? Her kid is off to college, she has her retirement money already. I have no idea what sort of non wasteful lifestyle expenses you think she should be spending her money on.

Investing it. Not spending 40k a year on travel and 15k on country club memberships. It is vapid.

Ok here: hi , go ahead tell me where I should be investing. I am open for your ideas. I personally couldn’t find anything better than CDs and waiting out for housing crash sitting on cash for the next 2 years. So please, tell me your secret stocks. I exited stocks in the fall

You are an idiot. Stocks are on sale. There are plenty of vanguard index funds to invest in that will bounce back in the future anybody who invest should know that they are playing the long game and you are stupid to sell stocks in the fall. Dumb.

They will fall this week again, you'll see. With Putin dumping all the USD back into market artificially keeping national currency overvalued, Eastern Europeans (Russia, Ukraine, Belarus, Baltic states) all selling assets and bringing USD to the US consumers, Russia default looming and another interest rate hike in the fall, staying away from stock is only choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m female in my late 40s and make $500k. My kids are taken care of and their father makes just under $1M.

I get what you’re looking for—someone who can keep up with you financially and culturally. It’s expensive to travel to Europe for 2 weeks in summer, spend 2 weeks skiing in the winter, and have a few long weekends. You’re future partner needs to be able to pay their own way. People on DCUM are so quick to tell women who want a more extravagant lifestyle to get their own money. Well, you have your own money. I don’t see why what you’re looking for is unreasonable. However, in the DC area it’s probably not realistic. You need to look in NY or Silicon Valley.

Vomit. And yes, you are right. Those men are not in DC. Which is why I told a family member to leave 20 years ago...and he did and now very wealthy.

What is there to vomit about?

You live in an unrealistic bubble about what matters. It is especially disgusting since you have money and waste it on “lifestyle” and BS appearances.

Lady, stocks are on sale. You’re an idiot. There are plenty of index funds that will do very very well if you buy in now.

Sorry. Money does matter. It's all well and good to be idealistic that love conquers all. And then reality creeps in and life is expensive. How many people on DCUM outsource everything that they can? That's not trivial money. If OP wants to travel then that's what's important to her. You many consider it a waste on "lifestyle" but at 40 with a grown child, what do you think she should be doing? Her kid is off to college, she has her retirement money already. I have no idea what sort of non wasteful lifestyle expenses you think she should be spending her money on.

Investing it. Not spending 40k a year on travel and 15k on country club memberships. It is vapid.

Ok here: hi , go ahead tell me where I should be investing. I am open for your ideas. I personally couldn’t find anything better than CDs and waiting out for housing crash sitting on cash for the next 2 years. So please, tell me your secret stocks. I exited stocks in the fall

You are an idiot. Stocks are on sale. There are plenty of vanguard index funds to invest in that will bounce back in the future anybody who invest should know that they are playing the long game and you are stupid to sell stocks in the fall. Dumb.

They will fall this week again, you'll see. With Putin dumping all the USD back into market artificially keeping national currency overvalued, Eastern Europeans (Russia, Ukraine, Belarus, Baltic states) all selling assets and bringing USD to the US consumers, Russia default looming and another interest rate hike in the fall, staying away from stock is only choice.

I keep my stocks for 10 to 20 years. Who cares about next week?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Of course income and wealth matter. It's disingenuous to pretend they don't. Lots of misogyny here trying to tear down middle aged women and tell them they have little value. 20's and early 30's women usually don't date 40 something year old men with children unless they're damaged. The people saying OP is competing with the never been married 25 year olds are off their rocker.

OP, tell all your friends that you want to date and ask them to set you up. See if your country club has any singles events. That's likely the best way for you to meet someone with the qualities you're looking for. Try an expensive singles vacation abroad if that doesn't work. The key is to do activities with a higher cost of entry so the men there can likely afford it.

If you do OLD, then don't post your wealth or expectations. You could attract some scary scam artists after your money.

Good luck and I hope you find what you're looking for!

No one said it does not matter. But at OP's age, her expectations are unrealistic. Most men in their 40s are married already and very slim pickings. And very wealthy men are unlikely to want someone her age. I say this as a woman her age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Try an expensive singles vacation abroad if that doesn't work. The key is to do activities with a higher cost of entry so the men there can likely afford it.

What's the point of being a woman if you can't find a man to pay for your expensive vacation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m female in my late 40s and make $500k. My kids are taken care of and their father makes just under $1M.

I get what you’re looking for—someone who can keep up with you financially and culturally. It’s expensive to travel to Europe for 2 weeks in summer, spend 2 weeks skiing in the winter, and have a few long weekends. You’re future partner needs to be able to pay their own way. People on DCUM are so quick to tell women who want a more extravagant lifestyle to get their own money. Well, you have your own money. I don’t see why what you’re looking for is unreasonable. However, in the DC area it’s probably not realistic. You need to look in NY or Silicon Valley.

Vomit. And yes, you are right. Those men are not in DC. Which is why I told a family member to leave 20 years ago...and he did and now very wealthy.

What is there to vomit about?

You live in an unrealistic bubble about what matters. It is especially disgusting since you have money and waste it on “lifestyle” and BS appearances.

Lady, stocks are on sale. You’re an idiot. There are plenty of index funds that will do very very well if you buy in now.

Sorry. Money does matter. It's all well and good to be idealistic that love conquers all. And then reality creeps in and life is expensive. How many people on DCUM outsource everything that they can? That's not trivial money. If OP wants to travel then that's what's important to her. You many consider it a waste on "lifestyle" but at 40 with a grown child, what do you think she should be doing? Her kid is off to college, she has her retirement money already. I have no idea what sort of non wasteful lifestyle expenses you think she should be spending her money on.

Investing it. Not spending 40k a year on travel and 15k on country club memberships. It is vapid.

Ok here: hi , go ahead tell me where I should be investing. I am open for your ideas. I personally couldn’t find anything better than CDs and waiting out for housing crash sitting on cash for the next 2 years. So please, tell me your secret stocks. I exited stocks in the fall

You are an idiot. Stocks are on sale. There are plenty of vanguard index funds to invest in that will bounce back in the future anybody who invest should know that they are playing the long game and you are stupid to sell stocks in the fall. Dumb.

They will fall this week again, you'll see. With Putin dumping all the USD back into market artificially keeping national currency overvalued, Eastern Europeans (Russia, Ukraine, Belarus, Baltic states) all selling assets and bringing USD to the US consumers, Russia default looming and another interest rate hike in the fall, staying away from stock is only choice.

I keep my stocks for 10 to 20 years. Who cares about next week?

I hope you are not older than 35 y.o. and are able to afford not ever recalibrate your portfolio, keep it in stocks and don't maintain a healthy cushion of bonds, CDs, REITs and cash. If you are already 55, you are screwed and have to work for the next 15 years to recover, while I (OP) am enjoying my travels.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Try an expensive singles vacation abroad if that doesn't work. The key is to do activities with a higher cost of entry so the men there can likely afford it.

What's the point of being a woman if you can't find a man to pay for your expensive vacation?

OP here: I need a man who's able at least to pay for HIS expensive vacation:0)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course income and wealth matter. It's disingenuous to pretend they don't. Lots of misogyny here trying to tear down middle aged women and tell them they have little value. 20's and early 30's women usually don't date 40 something year old men with children unless they're damaged. The people saying OP is competing with the never been married 25 year olds are off their rocker.

OP, tell all your friends that you want to date and ask them to set you up. See if your country club has any singles events. That's likely the best way for you to meet someone with the qualities you're looking for. Try an expensive singles vacation abroad if that doesn't work. The key is to do activities with a higher cost of entry so the men there can likely afford it.

If you do OLD, then don't post your wealth or expectations. You could attract some scary scam artists after your money.

Good luck and I hope you find what you're looking for!

No one said it does not matter. But at OP's age, her expectations are unrealistic. Most men in their 40s are married already and very slim pickings. And very wealthy men are unlikely to want someone her age. I say this as a woman her age.

Didn't you think that maybe it's you who has a problem with male attention, not OP?

[Anonymous]

I am a guy who would satisfy OP's criteria (more than, actually), and I would not be interested in the least. I have more than enough money to entertain myself, so I would rather have the company of someone more charming. I assume that was the case with OP's husband as well. If she couldn't hold onto one rich guy, why would she hold onto another?

Also, most rich guys aren't too impressed with a mid-level GS who happened into a lot of money through divorce. Kind of gives me the willies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a guy who would satisfy OP's criteria (more than, actually), and I would not be interested in the least. I have more than enough money to entertain myself, so I would rather have the company of someone more charming. I assume that was the case with OP's husband as well. If she couldn't hold onto one rich guy, why would she hold onto another?

Also, most rich guys aren't too impressed with a mid-level GS who happened into a lot of money through divorce. Kind of gives me the willies.

Were you married? Why you being so rich didn't hold on to your ex-wife? Your thinking that women somehow must "hold on" to rich guys no matter what is totally misguided and stinks narcissism.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a guy who would satisfy OP's criteria (more than, actually), and I would not be interested in the least. I have more than enough money to entertain myself, so I would rather have the company of someone more charming. I assume that was the case with OP's husband as well. If she couldn't hold onto one rich guy, why would she hold onto another?

Also, most rich guys aren't too impressed with a mid-level GS who happened into a lot of money through divorce. Kind of gives me the willies.

Were you married? Why you being so rich didn't hold on to your ex-wife? Your thinking that women somehow must "hold on" to rich guys no matter what is totally misguided and stinks narcissism.

I still am married. I'm just saying that if I were looking to date again, I wouldn't be interested in someone with OP's attitude and demeanor. And OP is the one out looking for a rich guy, and I'm just wondering what makes her think a rich guy would be interested.

And I cannot imagine finding someone worthwhile on one of those "high net worth" dating sites.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a guy who would satisfy OP's criteria (more than, actually), and I would not be interested in the least. I have more than enough money to entertain myself, so I would rather have the company of someone more charming. I assume that was the case with OP's husband as well. If she couldn't hold onto one rich guy, why would she hold onto another?

Also, most rich guys aren't too impressed with a mid-level GS who happened into a lot of money through divorce. Kind of gives me the willies.

OP here: I was making more than my exH (in business) than he was making at his corporate career. Plus I was the default parent while he was out of country 100 days/year. You are terribly prejudiced and don't respect women's contribution in marriage. My exH was kind of similar, thought his position at corporate ladder was placing me so much below (by the end of the marriage). It gave him a sense he could go around f.k different "charming" women. He would never recognize that he achieved his corporate titles thanks to me being a default parent and him having a full freedom). I married him when he was a regular specialist.

Yes, I fought in divorce and proved my contribution was worthy of my settlement, and took the whole business from him. He can enjoy his title and 401k. Kudos to judges.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a guy who would satisfy OP's criteria (more than, actually), and I would not be interested in the least. I have more than enough money to entertain myself, so I would rather have the company of someone more charming. I assume that was the case with OP's husband as well. If she couldn't hold onto one rich guy, why would she hold onto another?

Also, most rich guys aren't too impressed with a mid-level GS who happened into a lot of money through divorce. Kind of gives me the willies.

OP here: I was making more than my exH (in business) than he was making at his corporate career. Plus I was the default parent while he was out of country 100 days/year. You are terribly prejudiced and don't respect women's contribution in marriage. My exH was kind of similar, thought his position at corporate ladder was placing me so much below (by the end of the marriage). It gave him a sense he could go around f.k different "charming" women. He would never recognize that he achieved his corporate titles thanks to me being a default parent and him having a full freedom). I married him when he was a regular specialist.

Yes, I fought in divorce and proved my contribution was worthy of my settlement, and took the whole business from him. He can enjoy his title and 401k. Kudos to judges.

Too bad the judges can't force a rich guy to be interested in you.