Why do some men check out of their kids' lives after divorce?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because the Mom makes it so difficult on him and causes so much drama. She engages in parental alienation to turn the kid against him anyway and he’s just fighting a losing battle until he finally gives up.

This

I guess your kids aren't worth the fight. Sad for your kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Their ex'es make it impossible for them and turn their children tagaint
them

Man up. I thought men were supposed to be tougher than women. Aren't your kids worth fighting for? Or are these men such wusses that they allow their exwives to dictate the relationship with their kids.

You are such an idiot.

Do you know how manipulative some women can be?

At some point, there is no amount of "manning up" that will offset the toxic ways of a toxic woman - and the solution is NOT for the man to just cave to "her way of doing things" just to "keep the peace". That latter is total, total BS

These woman take it out on their ex by USING their kids. They are sick humans, not the other way around. I've witnessed it first hand and it's rather appalling.

and you are weak

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Their ex'es make it impossible for them and turn their children tagaint
them

Man up. I thought men were supposed to be tougher than women. Aren't your kids worth fighting for? Or are these men such wusses that they allow their exwives to dictate the relationship with their kids.

If the courts will not impose consequences, what is a Dad supposed to do? Police will not often enforce custody/visitaiton orders so if mom refuses, its allowed. If you take it to court, judge tells mom to allow dad to see the kids. Mom agrees. Mom refuses Dad, rinse and repeat. They have clear consequences for not paying child support. They have a free way to file for child support. But, they don't have any consequences for visitation/custody refusal except a rare judge AND they don't have a free way so you can spend a fortune and still not be allowed to see your kids.

I don't know.. I think I would fight till my last breath for my kids, especially if my ex was a complete ahole.

[Anonymous]

Perfect example of an ahole absent dad:

https://www.q13fox.com/news/man-dumps-80k-pennies-of-child-support-in-yard-daughter-donates-to-charity

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because the Mom makes it so difficult on him and causes so much drama. She engages in parental alienation to turn the kid against him anyway and he’s just fighting a losing battle until he finally gives up.

This

I guess your kids aren't worth the fight. Sad for your kids.

No matter how many times you take it to court there are few consequences for visitation and contact refusal. And few judges will change custody. You should not have to fight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Their ex'es make it impossible for them and turn their children tagaint
them

Man up. I thought men were supposed to be tougher than women. Aren't your kids worth fighting for? Or are these men such wusses that they allow their exwives to dictate the relationship with their kids.

If the courts will not impose consequences, what is a Dad supposed to do? Police will not often enforce custody/visitaiton orders so if mom refuses, its allowed. If you take it to court, judge tells mom to allow dad to see the kids. Mom agrees. Mom refuses Dad, rinse and repeat. They have clear consequences for not paying child support. They have a free way to file for child support. But, they don't have any consequences for visitation/custody refusal except a rare judge AND they don't have a free way so you can spend a fortune and still not be allowed to see your kids.

I don't know.. I think I would fight till my last breath for my kids, especially if my ex was a complete ahole.

How? You can keep going to court but judges generally just tell mom to let dad see the kids, they don’t, back to court, repeat repeat repeat. Most dads only have so much money with child support, alimony, other expenses and their own needs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Perfect example of an ahole absent dad:

https://www.q13fox.com/news/man-dumps-80k-pennies-of-child-support-in-yard-daughter-donates-to-charity

Kid is a brat who has refused to see her dad or years all Shea about was the money and attention.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perfect example of an ahole absent dad:

https://www.q13fox.com/news/man-dumps-80k-pennies-of-child-support-in-yard-daughter-donates-to-charity

Kid is a brat who has refused to see her dad or years all Shea about was the money and attention.

They donated the money to a domestic abuse shelter... That may be a bit telling as to dynamics of the kids and her Dad's lack of relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because the Mom makes it so difficult on him and causes so much drama. She engages in parental alienation to turn the kid against him anyway and he’s just fighting a losing battle until he finally gives up.

Yep.

There is literally nothing that would stop me from trying to get to my kids. I would never, ever give up. And I think most women are the same. Why do men just give up?

Because offspring requires less commitment for males. A man could sire a baby every day all year long if he had access to enough fertile females. It’s a few minutes “work” for him. A woman makes a 10 month investment.

Most men marry for the sex, not the kids. If they let the kids go their behavior says it all. The courts will enforcement child support and whatever custody is on the divorce decree.
If the guy is a crappy dad then yes the woman can easily move on, and find a real father for the kids. I've seen that quite often. Or the man that sires other kids is often broke paying various women, not to mention low class and tacky. They are out there..

wow, just wow.

Not nice, but a harsh reality for many.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because the Mom makes it so difficult on him and causes so much drama. She engages in parental alienation to turn the kid against him anyway and he’s just fighting a losing battle until he finally gives up.

Yep.

There is literally nothing that would stop me from trying to get to my kids. I would never, ever give up. And I think most women are the same. Why do men just give up?

Because offspring requires less commitment for males. A man could sire a baby every day all year long if he had access to enough fertile females. It’s a few minutes “work” for him. A woman makes a 10 month investment.

Most men marry for the sex, not the kids. If they let the kids go their behavior says it all. The courts will enforcement child support and whatever custody is on the divorce decree.
If the guy is a crappy dad then yes the woman can easily move on, and find a real father for the kids. I've seen that quite often. Or the man that sires other kids is often broke paying various women, not to mention low class and tacky. They are out there..

wow, just wow.

Not nice, but a harsh reality for many.

No its not. Most men aren't encouraged to be Dad's between the local and federal laws and women can easily push them out of their kids lives with no consequences. That is the harsh reality. Until we place an equal importance on Dad's in kids lives, nothing will change. If you read this post and others, this is why men give up and check out. Women place no value on kids having a Dad except money and once he women alienate the kids, there isn't much that they can do.

You are part of the problem. Don't complain when men check out given your attitude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perfect example of an ahole absent dad:

https://www.q13fox.com/news/man-dumps-80k-pennies-of-child-support-in-yard-daughter-donates-to-charity

Kid is a brat who has refused to see her dad or years all Shea about was the money and attention.

They donated the money to a domestic abuse shelter... That may be a bit telling as to dynamics of the kids and her Dad's lack of relationship.

No, she did it for her five minutes of media fame. And, if they didn't need the money and mom/kids refused a relationship they should have stoped taking the money long ago. She was angry Dad was angry at her behavior and made a statement that he is only good for money, which was very much the case.

Mom poisoned this kid who was allowed or encouraged to refuse a relationship with Dad to make Mom happy. Mom probably had an affair/remarried quickly, replaced Dad and wanted to pretend she had a perfect family with her new husband as Dad. Dads are disposable in our culture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because the Mom makes it so difficult on him and causes so much drama. She engages in parental alienation to turn the kid against him anyway and he’s just fighting a losing battle until he finally gives up.

Yep.

There is literally nothing that would stop me from trying to get to my kids. I would never, ever give up. And I think most women are the same. Why do men just give up?

Because offspring requires less commitment for males. A man could sire a baby every day all year long if he had access to enough fertile females. It’s a few minutes “work” for him. A woman makes a 10 month investment.

Most men marry for the sex, not the kids. If they let the kids go their behavior says it all. The courts will enforcement child support and whatever custody is on the divorce decree.
If the guy is a crappy dad then yes the woman can easily move on, and find a real father for the kids. I've seen that quite often. Or the man that sires other kids is often broke paying various women, not to mention low class and tacky. They are out there..

wow, just wow.

Not nice, but a harsh reality for many.

No its not. Most men aren't encouraged to be Dad's between the local and federal laws and women can easily push them out of their kids lives with no consequences. That is the harsh reality. Until we place an equal importance on Dad's in kids lives, nothing will change. If you read this post and others, this is why men give up and check out. Women place no value on kids having a Dad except money and once he women alienate the kids, there isn't much that they can do.

You are part of the problem. Don't complain when men check out given your attitude.

The laws are there for dads that want to be in their kids lives. The reality is many do check out like OP has stated. There's usually a reason the kids are alienated, especially if the other parent has exhibited poor behavior. If the mother is alienating them a PAS can be filed and addressed. Again the men who check out do so willingly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Perfect example of an ahole absent dad:

https://www.q13fox.com/news/man-dumps-80k-pennies-of-child-support-in-yard-daughter-donates-to-charity

That story went around the world and he looks so bad while mom and daughter have sparked so many donations to shelters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perfect example of an ahole absent dad:

https://www.q13fox.com/news/man-dumps-80k-pennies-of-child-support-in-yard-daughter-donates-to-charity

Kid is a brat who has refused to see her dad or years all Shea about was the money and attention.

They donated the money to a domestic abuse shelter... That may be a bit telling as to dynamics of the kids and her Dad's lack of relationship.

No, she did it for her five minutes of media fame. And, if they didn't need the money and mom/kids refused a relationship they should have stoped taking the money long ago. She was angry Dad was angry at her behavior and made a statement that he is only good for money, which was very much the case.

Mom poisoned this kid who was allowed or encouraged to refuse a relationship with Dad to make Mom happy. Mom probably had an affair/remarried quickly, replaced Dad and wanted to pretend she had a perfect family with her new husband as Dad. Dads are disposable in our culture.

Children are entitled to support by their parents even if they don’t need it. A friend tried to refuse support from her toxic ex. The judge told her to put it in a savings account each month.

If she got 5 min of fame, Dad will look gross forever on the internet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because the Mom makes it so difficult on him and causes so much drama. She engages in parental alienation to turn the kid against him anyway and he’s just fighting a losing battle until he finally gives up.

Yep.

There is literally nothing that would stop me from trying to get to my kids. I would never, ever give up. And I think most women are the same. Why do men just give up?

Because offspring requires less commitment for males. A man could sire a baby every day all year long if he had access to enough fertile females. It’s a few minutes “work” for him. A woman makes a 10 month investment.

Most men marry for the sex, not the kids. If they let the kids go their behavior says it all. The courts will enforcement child support and whatever custody is on the divorce decree.
If the guy is a crappy dad then yes the woman can easily move on, and find a real father for the kids. I've seen that quite often. Or the man that sires other kids is often broke paying various women, not to mention low class and tacky. They are out there..

wow, just wow.

Not nice, but a harsh reality for many.

No its not. Most men aren't encouraged to be Dad's between the local and federal laws and women can easily push them out of their kids lives with no consequences. That is the harsh reality. Until we place an equal importance on Dad's in kids lives, nothing will change. If you read this post and others, this is why men give up and check out. Women place no value on kids having a Dad except money and once he women alienate the kids, there isn't much that they can do.

You are part of the problem. Don't complain when men check out given your attitude.

the problem isn’t “placing value on Dad’s in kid’s lives”, the problem is getting Dads to do the work of parenting without being asked, told or mandated.

My ex has never attended a school meeting, a medical appointment, bought the kids clothes, thought about what they would do for the summer, enrolled them in extra curriculars or driven carpool. You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make them drink.

Moms and Dads who do the work of parenting are automatically part of their kids lives.