Why do some men check out of their kids' lives after divorce?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Moms -- just wait until the checked out dads check back in when the kids are older so don't need the type of care as when they were little.
Dad sails in and all is forgiven or at the very least there is such a biological imperative that the kids yearning causes them to be ecstatic he's around.

It's tough and hurtful but you know it's in the kids best interest so you suck it up but it sucks. You did all the hard work but he's on equal footing.

I believe it because men who don't get divorced are like this. During the baby/toddler/early childhood years when the kids are WORK, they are so often trying to et out of doing that work, trying to explain the work isn't necessary, or complaining about the work. Meanwhile, their wives are doing all of it. And then when those kids become fun, capable older children with social-emotional skills who can dress themselves, use the bathroom on their own, clean themselves, keep themselves entertained for long stretches, etc., the dads suddenly talk about how great their kids are and how much they enjoy being around them and doing things with them. And often this process happens without the fathers ever understanding, and certainly not acknowledging, that the only reason it happened is because their wives (as well as childcare workers, teachers, sometimes other family members) put in the hard work during those critical early years to get the kids to that point.

My favorite is when these men will point to some of their kids' best qualities and brag on how "he gets that from me" or whatever. Sir, I knew that kid when he was 4 years old and you were too busy to drop him off or pick him up for school, spent playground visits staring at your phone, and let your wife dress him, potty train him, take him to the doctor, sign him up for sports and activities, etc. You shouldn't be patting yourself on the back, you should be thanking your lucky stars.

But yes, a huge part of what women do for children is facilitate their relationships with their fathers, which wind up being the most critical in their self-esteem and sense of self-confidence, specifically because those same dads are so much more checked out and hands off through their early childhood. Distant dads become the authority on a child's self-worth because they are distant, and moms have to bridge the gap for their kids, even as it means allowing their own work and contribution to be swept aside.

I honestly don't know how divorced women do it. I see this dynamic in pretty much every happily married couple I know, I can't imagine trying to translate that to a split. The only thing I can think is that for some men, joint custody and having to parent solo forces them to finally step up. But what if he doesn't?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Moms -- just wait until the checked out dads check back in when the kids are older so don't need the type of care as when they were little.
Dad sails in and all is forgiven or at the very least there is such a biological imperative that the kids yearning causes them to be ecstatic he's around.

It's tough and hurtful but you know it's in the kids best interest so you suck it up but it sucks. You did all the hard work but he's on equal footing.

I believe it because men who don't get divorced are like this. During the baby/toddler/early childhood years when the kids are WORK, they are so often trying to et out of doing that work, trying to explain the work isn't necessary, or complaining about the work. Meanwhile, their wives are doing all of it. And then when those kids become fun, capable older children with social-emotional skills who can dress themselves, use the bathroom on their own, clean themselves, keep themselves entertained for long stretches, etc., the dads suddenly talk about how great their kids are and how much they enjoy being around them and doing things with them. And often this process happens without the fathers ever understanding, and certainly not acknowledging, that the only reason it happened is because their wives (as well as childcare workers, teachers, sometimes other family members) put in the hard work during those critical early years to get the kids to that point.

My favorite is when these men will point to some of their kids' best qualities and brag on how "he gets that from me" or whatever. Sir, I knew that kid when he was 4 years old and you were too busy to drop him off or pick him up for school, spent playground visits staring at your phone, and let your wife dress him, potty train him, take him to the doctor, sign him up for sports and activities, etc. You shouldn't be patting yourself on the back, you should be thanking your lucky stars.

But yes, a huge part of what women do for children is facilitate their relationships with their fathers, which wind up being the most critical in their self-esteem and sense of self-confidence, specifically because those same dads are so much more checked out and hands off through their early childhood. Distant dads become the authority on a child's self-worth because they are distant, and moms have to bridge the gap for their kids, even as it means allowing their own work and contribution to be swept aside.

I honestly don't know how divorced women do it. I see this dynamic in pretty much every happily married couple I know, I can't imagine trying to translate that to a split. The only thing I can think is that for some men, joint custody and having to parent solo forces them to finally step up. But what if he doesn't?

Sounds like you picked the wrong father for your kids. My husband is extremely involved and does everything for our kids. Or, maybe you are the problem that you don't let him do things and have to control it all. If I died today I wouldn't worry if mine would be well cared for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Moms -- just wait until the checked out dads check back in when the kids are older so don't need the type of care as when they were little.
Dad sails in and all is forgiven or at the very least there is such a biological imperative that the kids yearning causes them to be ecstatic he's around.

It's tough and hurtful but you know it's in the kids best interest so you suck it up but it sucks. You did all the hard work but he's on equal footing.

Most of the mom's here will not let the dad's be active and involved parents so its a non-issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Moms -- just wait until the checked out dads check back in when the kids are older so don't need the type of care as when they were little.
Dad sails in and all is forgiven or at the very least there is such a biological imperative that the kids yearning causes them to be ecstatic he's around.

It's tough and hurtful but you know it's in the kids best interest so you suck it up but it sucks. You did all the hard work but he's on equal footing.

I believe it because men who don't get divorced are like this. During the baby/toddler/early childhood years when the kids are WORK, they are so often trying to et out of doing that work, trying to explain the work isn't necessary, or complaining about the work. Meanwhile, their wives are doing all of it. And then when those kids become fun, capable older children with social-emotional skills who can dress themselves, use the bathroom on their own, clean themselves, keep themselves entertained for long stretches, etc., the dads suddenly talk about how great their kids are and how much they enjoy being around them and doing things with them. And often this process happens without the fathers ever understanding, and certainly not acknowledging, that the only reason it happened is because their wives (as well as childcare workers, teachers, sometimes other family members) put in the hard work during those critical early years to get the kids to that point.

My favorite is when these men will point to some of their kids' best qualities and brag on how "he gets that from me" or whatever. Sir, I knew that kid when he was 4 years old and you were too busy to drop him off or pick him up for school, spent playground visits staring at your phone, and let your wife dress him, potty train him, take him to the doctor, sign him up for sports and activities, etc. You shouldn't be patting yourself on the back, you should be thanking your lucky stars.

But yes, a huge part of what women do for children is facilitate their relationships with their fathers, which wind up being the most critical in their self-esteem and sense of self-confidence, specifically because those same dads are so much more checked out and hands off through their early childhood. Distant dads become the authority on a child's self-worth because they are distant, and moms have to bridge the gap for their kids, even as it means allowing their own work and contribution to be swept aside.

I honestly don't know how divorced women do it. I see this dynamic in pretty much every happily married couple I know, I can't imagine trying to translate that to a split. The only thing I can think is that for some men, joint custody and having to parent solo forces them to finally step up. But what if he doesn't?

Sounds like you picked the wrong father for your kids. My husband is extremely involved and does everything for our kids. Or, maybe you are the problem that you don't let him do things and have to control it all. If I died today I wouldn't worry if mine would be well cared for.

I would absolutely worry. Glad you found such an involved dad, but most women don't learn how involved a man is going to be until the kids arrive, and the vast majority of men are not "extremely involved" especially not with very young kids. So unless you are ready to argue that almost everyone "picked the wrong father", then this is a social problem that cannot be solved by each woman just making better mate choices. There are quite simply not enough men like what you are describing out there to go around. The birth rate would totally plummet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a tale as old as time. There are many men who take care of the child(ren) of the woman they are sleeping with. So, if he isn’t sleeping with her, he will not take care of her kids (even if they are his).

So true. I'm from a different culture, and my SIL's dad abandoned his 4 bio kids and adopted and raised with great care his stepdaughter, who was 2 years old when they met. He paid for her college in full, $$$ wedding and everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Moms -- just wait until the checked out dads check back in when the kids are older so don't need the type of care as when they were little.
Dad sails in and all is forgiven or at the very least there is such a biological imperative that the kids yearning causes them to be ecstatic he's around.

It's tough and hurtful but you know it's in the kids best interest so you suck it up but it sucks. You did all the hard work but he's on equal footing.

Most of the mom's here will not let the dad's be active and involved parents so its a non-issue.

+1. Those dads who "sail in" when the kids are older was probably shut out when kids were too small to initiate/maintain contact on their own. Of course the kids are ecstatic. Mom may have intentionally kept dad at arms length throughout childhood because, "She's the mom and she knows her kids best." and wanted to do all the "hard work" because it was her way or no way. Plus it made good fodder for those mothers with martyrdom syndrome. They could elicit sympathy that they were doing it all alone.

The whole "equal footing" comment proves many see this as a contest for who is the best parent and who deserves the child's affection more.

A child's love for a parent shouldn't be in an equation with bean counting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Moms -- just wait until the checked out dads check back in when the kids are older so don't need the type of care as when they were little.
Dad sails in and all is forgiven or at the very least there is such a biological imperative that the kids yearning causes them to be ecstatic he's around.

It's tough and hurtful but you know it's in the kids best interest so you suck it up but it sucks. You did all the hard work but he's on equal footing.

Most of the mom's here will not let the dad's be active and involved parents so its a non-issue.

+1. Those dads who "sail in" when the kids are older was probably shut out when kids were too small to initiate/maintain contact on their own. Of course the kids are ecstatic. Mom may have intentionally kept dad at arms length throughout childhood because, "She's the mom and she knows her kids best." and wanted to do all the "hard work" because it was her way or no way. Plus it made good fodder for those mothers with martyrdom syndrome. They could elicit sympathy that they were doing it all alone.

The whole "equal footing" comment proves many see this as a contest for who is the best parent and who deserves the child's affection more.

A child's love for a parent shouldn't be in an equation with bean counting.

You always say stuff like this, but how do you explain Owen Wilson? The actor refuses to see his young daughter, although her mother has publicly begged him to. He pays CS for the daughter and spends time with his sons, but has not sought custody.

I am not the mom of Owen Wilson’s daughter, BTW.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Moms -- just wait until the checked out dads check back in when the kids are older so don't need the type of care as when they were little.
Dad sails in and all is forgiven or at the very least there is such a biological imperative that the kids yearning causes them to be ecstatic he's around.

It's tough and hurtful but you know it's in the kids best interest so you suck it up but it sucks. You did all the hard work but he's on equal footing.

I believe it because men who don't get divorced are like this. During the baby/toddler/early childhood years when the kids are WORK, they are so often trying to et out of doing that work, trying to explain the work isn't necessary, or complaining about the work. Meanwhile, their wives are doing all of it. And then when those kids become fun, capable older children with social-emotional skills who can dress themselves, use the bathroom on their own, clean themselves, keep themselves entertained for long stretches, etc., the dads suddenly talk about how great their kids are and how much they enjoy being around them and doing things with them. And often this process happens without the fathers ever understanding, and certainly not acknowledging, that the only reason it happened is because their wives (as well as childcare workers, teachers, sometimes other family members) put in the hard work during those critical early years to get the kids to that point.

My favorite is when these men will point to some of their kids' best qualities and brag on how "he gets that from me" or whatever. Sir, I knew that kid when he was 4 years old and you were too busy to drop him off or pick him up for school, spent playground visits staring at your phone, and let your wife dress him, potty train him, take him to the doctor, sign him up for sports and activities, etc. You shouldn't be patting yourself on the back, you should be thanking your lucky stars.

But yes, a huge part of what women do for children is facilitate their relationships with their fathers, which wind up being the most critical in their self-esteem and sense of self-confidence, specifically because those same dads are so much more checked out and hands off through their early childhood. Distant dads become the authority on a child's self-worth because they are distant, and moms have to bridge the gap for their kids, even as it means allowing their own work and contribution to be swept aside.

I honestly don't know how divorced women do it. I see this dynamic in pretty much every happily married couple I know, I can't imagine trying to translate that to a split. The only thing I can think is that for some men, joint custody and having to parent solo forces them to finally step up. But what if he doesn't?

Sounds like you picked the wrong father for your kids. My husband is extremely involved and does everything for our kids. Or, maybe you are the problem that you don't let him do things and have to control it all. If I died today I wouldn't worry if mine would be well cared for.

I would absolutely worry. Glad you found such an involved dad, but most women don't learn how involved a man is going to be until the kids arrive, and the vast majority of men are not "extremely involved" especially not with very young kids. So unless you are ready to argue that almost everyone "picked the wrong father", then this is a social problem that cannot be solved by each woman just making better mate choices. There are quite simply not enough men like what you are describing out there to go around. The birth rate would totally plummet.

PP, you would get a very good idea who would be a good dad if you know how to date them well. Stop blaming something else for not choosing the correct father for your kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Moms -- just wait until the checked out dads check back in when the kids are older so don't need the type of care as when they were little.
Dad sails in and all is forgiven or at the very least there is such a biological imperative that the kids yearning causes them to be ecstatic he's around.

It's tough and hurtful but you know it's in the kids best interest so you suck it up but it sucks. You did all the hard work but he's on equal footing.

I believe it because men who don't get divorced are like this. During the baby/toddler/early childhood years when the kids are WORK, they are so often trying to et out of doing that work, trying to explain the work isn't necessary, or complaining about the work. Meanwhile, their wives are doing all of it. And then when those kids become fun, capable older children with social-emotional skills who can dress themselves, use the bathroom on their own, clean themselves, keep themselves entertained for long stretches, etc., the dads suddenly talk about how great their kids are and how much they enjoy being around them and doing things with them. And often this process happens without the fathers ever understanding, and certainly not acknowledging, that the only reason it happened is because their wives (as well as childcare workers, teachers, sometimes other family members) put in the hard work during those critical early years to get the kids to that point.

My favorite is when these men will point to some of their kids' best qualities and brag on how "he gets that from me" or whatever. Sir, I knew that kid when he was 4 years old and you were too busy to drop him off or pick him up for school, spent playground visits staring at your phone, and let your wife dress him, potty train him, take him to the doctor, sign him up for sports and activities, etc. You shouldn't be patting yourself on the back, you should be thanking your lucky stars.

But yes, a huge part of what women do for children is facilitate their relationships with their fathers, which wind up being the most critical in their self-esteem and sense of self-confidence, specifically because those same dads are so much more checked out and hands off through their early childhood. Distant dads become the authority on a child's self-worth because they are distant, and moms have to bridge the gap for their kids, even as it means allowing their own work and contribution to be swept aside.

I honestly don't know how divorced women do it. I see this dynamic in pretty much every happily married couple I know, I can't imagine trying to translate that to a split. The only thing I can think is that for some men, joint custody and having to parent solo forces them to finally step up. But what if he doesn't?

Sounds like you picked the wrong father for your kids. My husband is extremely involved and does everything for our kids. Or, maybe you are the problem that you don't let him do things and have to control it all. If I died today I wouldn't worry if mine would be well cared for.

I would absolutely worry. Glad you found such an involved dad, but most women don't learn how involved a man is going to be until the kids arrive, and the vast majority of men are not "extremely involved" especially not with very young kids. So unless you are ready to argue that almost everyone "picked the wrong father", then this is a social problem that cannot be solved by each woman just making better mate choices. There are quite simply not enough men like what you are describing out there to go around. The birth rate would totally plummet.

Most men I know are very involved fathers, at least where we live. But, after kid number one, if Dad isn't a good dad, don't have more kids or stop complaining. Yes, it can be solved by picking a better mate. You can see how a man treats their family, others, talk to friends/family, see how they interact with kids and if they have kids see how they are with them. You can man bash all you want but you are part of the problem. Most uninvolved men are uninvolved as Mom insists on doing everything, kids are attached to her (according to herr) and many other excuses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Moms -- just wait until the checked out dads check back in when the kids are older so don't need the type of care as when they were little.
Dad sails in and all is forgiven or at the very least there is such a biological imperative that the kids yearning causes them to be ecstatic he's around.

It's tough and hurtful but you know it's in the kids best interest so you suck it up but it sucks. You did all the hard work but he's on equal footing.

Most of the mom's here will not let the dad's be active and involved parents so its a non-issue.

+1. Those dads who "sail in" when the kids are older was probably shut out when kids were too small to initiate/maintain contact on their own. Of course the kids are ecstatic. Mom may have intentionally kept dad at arms length throughout childhood because, "She's the mom and she knows her kids best." and wanted to do all the "hard work" because it was her way or no way. Plus it made good fodder for those mothers with martyrdom syndrome. They could elicit sympathy that they were doing it all alone.

The whole "equal footing" comment proves many see this as a contest for who is the best parent and who deserves the child's affection more.

A child's love for a parent shouldn't be in an equation with bean counting.

You always say stuff like this, but how do you explain Owen Wilson? The actor refuses to see his young daughter, although her mother has publicly begged him to. He pays CS for the daughter and spends time with his sons, but has not sought custody.

I am not the mom of Owen Wilson’s daughter, BTW.

Maybe there is more to the story like he's not actually the child's father. She's really attention seeking to go in public and make comments. She can stay it all she wants but maybe she will not let him see the child except under her terms.

[Anonymous]

I wrote the post about the dad sailing back in and yes in retrospect I guess I "picked the wrong mate." I won't go into it here but it wasn't as obvious as you might think. I definitely didn't want to control things and I would have appreciated the help with raising the kids. It's a lot of work.

Regarding being seen as a martyr, you're not and you have to do all the things every other family does except there's one adult doing it and it gets exhausting. My EX gave me full physical custody without me asking at the beginning of the divorce before that term meant anything to me if that tells you anything.

I wouldn't be human if I didn't feel something about this. To be blunt I was willing to sacrifice my personal and professional life for many years while he was living like a single guy. He will retire in a much better financial place than I will and he has completed most of his life's bucket list. I don't regret doing it but it does feel unbalanced and yes, I'm going to say it, unfair. It's one of those situations where you have to reach deep and be the bigger person because my kids do need their dad. I support their relationship and encourage it truly but I can have some complex feelings about it.

Anyone who feels smug about their choice of mate should slow down because life is a journey not a destination and I've seen relationships change so have compassion today because you might need it yourself tomorrow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Moms -- just wait until the checked out dads check back in when the kids are older so don't need the type of care as when they were little.
Dad sails in and all is forgiven or at the very least there is such a biological imperative that the kids yearning causes them to be ecstatic he's around.

It's tough and hurtful but you know it's in the kids best interest so you suck it up but it sucks. You did all the hard work but he's on equal footing.

I believe it because men who don't get divorced are like this. During the baby/toddler/early childhood years when the kids are WORK, they are so often trying to et out of doing that work, trying to explain the work isn't necessary, or complaining about the work. Meanwhile, their wives are doing all of it. And then when those kids become fun, capable older children with social-emotional skills who can dress themselves, use the bathroom on their own, clean themselves, keep themselves entertained for long stretches, etc., the dads suddenly talk about how great their kids are and how much they enjoy being around them and doing things with them. And often this process happens without the fathers ever understanding, and certainly not acknowledging, that the only reason it happened is because their wives (as well as childcare workers, teachers, sometimes other family members) put in the hard work during those critical early years to get the kids to that point.

My favorite is when these men will point to some of their kids' best qualities and brag on how "he gets that from me" or whatever. Sir, I knew that kid when he was 4 years old and you were too busy to drop him off or pick him up for school, spent playground visits staring at your phone, and let your wife dress him, potty train him, take him to the doctor, sign him up for sports and activities, etc. You shouldn't be patting yourself on the back, you should be thanking your lucky stars.

But yes, a huge part of what women do for children is facilitate their relationships with their fathers, which wind up being the most critical in their self-esteem and sense of self-confidence, specifically because those same dads are so much more checked out and hands off through their early childhood. Distant dads become the authority on a child's self-worth because they are distant, and moms have to bridge the gap for their kids, even as it means allowing their own work and contribution to be swept aside.

I honestly don't know how divorced women do it. I see this dynamic in pretty much every happily married couple I know, I can't imagine trying to translate that to a split. The only thing I can think is that for some men, joint custody and having to parent solo forces them to finally step up. But what if he doesn't?

Sounds like you picked the wrong father for your kids. My husband is extremely involved and does everything for our kids. Or, maybe you are the problem that you don't let him do things and have to control it all. If I died today I wouldn't worry if mine would be well cared for.

I would absolutely worry. Glad you found such an involved dad, but most women don't learn how involved a man is going to be until the kids arrive, and the vast majority of men are not "extremely involved" especially not with very young kids. So unless you are ready to argue that almost everyone "picked the wrong father", then this is a social problem that cannot be solved by each woman just making better mate choices. There are quite simply not enough men like what you are describing out there to go around. The birth rate would totally plummet.

PP, you would get a very good idea who would be a good dad if you know how to date them well. Stop blaming something else for not choosing the correct father for your kids.

I’m not the poster you’re replying to. I’m the poster who wrote earlier in this thread that my husband was super, super involved and hands on when our kids were little. Then he spent the early elementary years gradually scaling back his involvement. Around mid-elementary, he checked out. He had a midlife crisis and didn’t think his life was fun. Now our kids are in middle school and he’s moved out to live a bachelor lifestyle. He has taken zero legal steps to divorce, but has a serious girlfriend 15+ years younger. He is content to come over to our family home and eat dinner once a week with the kids. I’ve done everything I can to encourage more involvement, short of getting on my knees and begging, and I’ve even contemplated that.

I was with my husband for 15 years before we had kids. In the early years, there was no better, more involved dad around. There was no way to predict that a switch would flip in his brain when he hit his forties. Take your sanctimony and shove it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wrote the post about the dad sailing back in and yes in retrospect I guess I "picked the wrong mate." I won't go into it here but it wasn't as obvious as you might think. I definitely didn't want to control things and I would have appreciated the help with raising the kids. It's a lot of work.

Regarding being seen as a martyr, you're not and you have to do all the things every other family does except there's one adult doing it and it gets exhausting. My EX gave me full physical custody without me asking at the beginning of the divorce before that term meant anything to me if that tells you anything.

I wouldn't be human if I didn't feel something about this. To be blunt I was willing to sacrifice my personal and professional life for many years while he was living like a single guy. He will retire in a much better financial place than I will and he has completed most of his life's bucket list. I don't regret doing it but it does feel unbalanced and yes, I'm going to say it, unfair. It's one of those situations where you have to reach deep and be the bigger person because my kids do need their dad. I support their relationship and encourage it truly but I can have some complex feelings about it.

Anyone who feels smug about their choice of mate should slow down because life is a journey not a destination and I've seen relationships change so have compassion today because you might need it yourself tomorrow.

I used to be the naive, smug person who knew she married the right kind of man. It wasn’t until 18+ years in that I found out I hadn’t.

You are an outstanding mother, and I honor your dual parenting roles this Father’s Day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Their wives used to keep them informed and tell them what was going on. After the divorce they didn’t pick up that emotional labor.

DIng ding ding!! Winner. Lived personally and through family and friends. Women keep the men informed of dates, times, sizes....then stop. Men have no clue or energy to pick up the slack and actually care. It's an old story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Moms -- just wait until the checked out dads check back in when the kids are older so don't need the type of care as when they were little.
Dad sails in and all is forgiven or at the very least there is such a biological imperative that the kids yearning causes them to be ecstatic he's around.

It's tough and hurtful but you know it's in the kids best interest so you suck it up but it sucks. You did all the hard work but he's on equal footing.

Most of the mom's here will not let the dad's be active and involved parents so its a non-issue.

+1. Those dads who "sail in" when the kids are older was probably shut out when kids were too small to initiate/maintain contact on their own. Of course the kids are ecstatic. Mom may have intentionally kept dad at arms length throughout childhood because, "She's the mom and she knows her kids best." and wanted to do all the "hard work" because it was her way or no way. Plus it made good fodder for those mothers with martyrdom syndrome. They could elicit sympathy that they were doing it all alone.

The whole "equal footing" comment proves many see this as a contest for who is the best parent and who deserves the child's affection more.

A child's love for a parent shouldn't be in an equation with bean counting.

a lot of dads consider bare minimum, ie, kids are not dead, they have "food " (ie junk food); they are entertained (kids sit in front of an electronic all day) as "good parenting".

Lucky for some dads that kids will love their parents regardless, even the absentee ones.