Reply to Why do some men check out of their kids' lives after divorce?

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Reply to "Why do some men check out of their kids' lives after divorce?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Because the Mom makes it so difficult on him and causes so much drama. She engages in parental alienation to turn the kid against him anyway and he’s just fighting a losing battle until he finally gives up. [/quote]

Yep.[/quote]

There is literally nothing that would stop me from trying to get to my kids. I would never, ever give up. And I think most women are the same. Why do men just give up? [/quote]

Because offspring requires less commitment for males. A man could sire a baby every day all year long if he had access to enough fertile females. It’s a few minutes “work” for him. A woman makes a 10 month investment. [/quote]

Most men marry for the sex, not the kids. If they let the kids go their behavior says it all. The courts will enforcement child support and whatever custody is on the divorce decree. 
If the guy is a crappy dad then yes the woman can easily move on, and find a real father for the kids. I've seen that quite often. Or the man that sires other kids is often broke paying various women, not to mention low class and tacky. They are out there..[/quote]

wow, just wow.[/quote]

Not nice, but a harsh reality for many. [/quote]

No its not.  Most men aren't encouraged to be Dad's between the local and federal laws and women can easily push them out of their kids lives with no consequences.   That is the harsh reality.  Until we place an equal importance on Dad's in kids lives, nothing will change.  If you read this post and others, this is why men give up and check out.  Women place no value on kids having a Dad except money and once he women alienate the kids, there isn't much that they can do.

You are part of the problem.  Don't complain when men check out given your attitude.[/quote]

the problem isn’t “placing value on Dad’s in kid’s lives”, the problem is getting Dads to do the work of parenting without being asked, told or mandated.

My ex has never attended a school meeting, a medical appointment, bought the kids clothes, thought about what they would do for the summer, enrolled them in extra curriculars or driven carpool. You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make them drink.

Moms and Dads who do the work of parenting are automatically part of their kids lives. [/quote]

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