Why do some men check out of their kids' lives after divorce?
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Anonymous
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How is it possible for some fathers to check out of their children's lives and basically phase out contact with them after a divorce? I have seen plenty of even highly educated men doing this, even if it was originally them eager to have kids, and they were adamant that they would take good care of them. As a mom, I could not go even two weeks without seeing my kid.
The lack of responsibility and selfishness is heartbreaking. How can such a thing happen? Let's say he does not get along well with the mom. That is not a reason to stop contact with the child.... |
Anonymous
| This is a tale as old as time. There are many men who take care of the child(ren) of the woman they are sleeping with. So, if he isn’t sleeping with her, he will not take care of her kids (even if they are his). |
Anonymous
| Because they are selfish losers. |
Anonymous
| Because the Mom makes it so difficult on him and causes so much drama. She engages in parental alienation to turn the kid against him anyway and he’s just fighting a losing battle until he finally gives up. |
Anonymous
Yep. |
Anonymous
| Men used to be raised to be providers only. Some men and women find it ok with the situation as long as he financially providing for the children. But regardless, surely you know that everyone’s situation is different OP and you should not judge. |
Anonymous
OP here. This is a crude generalization. In the cases that I know, the moms went out of their way to facilitate and promote the kids' interactions with their fathers. |
Anonymous
The brain and body chemistry of men and women are drastically different. Men are out of sight out of mind. Women are thinking and concerned forever regardless of location. On the whole, it’s better that society has both and not one of these mentalities. People can argue but I’m just being succinct. |
Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
living through this at the moment! |
Anonymous
Not my mom. Every vacation she would contact my dad to ask if I could visit him (he lived in another state). If it wasn’t for the effort my mom made to arrange these vacations, I would have never seen my dad growing up. Oh, and he lived 4 hours away. It’s not like he was living on the other side of the country. |
Anonymous
NP Dearest OP - how is this considered a generalization... your question was general. You asked "why do SOME men...", and this PP answered. "because the mom makes is difficult on him....." I doubt this PP even thought their answer could be considered as pertaining to all men. Why ask a question if you don't want people's opinions? |
Anonymous
Did you hear this from your father? My step-child likely thinks that their mother accommodates/promotes visits to our house. In reality she takes every opportunity to deny visits. Custody was 50/50 until she moved too far away to make it possible (moved 35 miles away, which in this area doesn’t make getting child to school every day easy). DH doesn’t bring this up with child because it’s not his position to speak ill of the mother. |
Anonymous
| I don’t understand it (but I’ve observed the phenomena). But when my DH and I watched “marriage story” he said something like, “you can see why so many dads give up after a divorce. They think... why am I even here? I serve no real purpose.” I practically fell off the couch. |
Anonymous
| My husband’s father did this. Saw his children for two weeks every summer and always worked during that two weeks. Btw he was a child psychologist so he must have known what kind of damage he was doing... total loser. |