Can you have a successful sexless marriage?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand the rabid feminazi responses to the dude who "expects" sex in a relationship and stays unmarried to pursue that goal more easily. I have to assume sex is not important nor fun for that PP, such that she can't fathom it being a dealbreaker. I'm a feminist myself and have zero issue with what he's
saying. In fact, as a newly divorced woman, I feel exactly the same way. If the sex dried up for no good reason, see ya. I don't need more platonic friends.

I've never met a true feminist who used this word. Nice try.

+100.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand the rabid feminazi responses to the dude who "expects" sex in a relationship and stays unmarried to pursue that goal more easily. I have to assume sex is not important nor fun for that PP, such that she can't fathom it being a dealbreaker. I'm a feminist myself and have zero issue with what he's
saying. In fact, as a newly divorced woman, I feel exactly the same way. If the sex dried up for no good reason, see ya. I don't need more platonic friends.

I've never met a true feminist who used this word. Nice try.

+100.

I think she meant to say "rabid cat owners"

[Anonymous]

Not really focused on the merit of the rest of PP's statements, but "The world isn't changing as much as you think" is actually pretty profound and, I think, true in a lot of contexts and for a lot of people, left and right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Being married does not mean being celibate. I feel it is quite unreasonable for either partner to downplay or ignore the emotional/sexual needs of the other. If you can’t it won’t fix it, you can divorce, open the marriage or cheat. In the latter case, it’s not fair to call the other person evil b/c they seek elsewhere the comfort you deny.

A comedian once said everything in life is about sex. Except sex, which is about power.

People who withhold sex and affection in a marriage are asserting a power over their spouse by denying the one thing their spouse needs and can't ethically get elsewhere. They know their spouse probably won't divorce over it if they have kids. That's part of the reason people have such rapid reactions to infidelity. It shifts the power to the denied spouse and forces the withholding spouse to choose between divorce and staying with a cheater.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess. My spouse doesn’t care about sex anymore, but he’s on the spectrum and doesn’t care about it most normal things in life. Since his Dx, have admitted how bad he was at it anyhow, and the likely reasons why... plus I’m sick of taking the lead on everything in life. So that’s a mood killer dynamic.

Did you try doing more of the housework? How about a massage. He can’t just turn it on because you want some at the end of the day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand the rabid feminazi responses to the dude who "expects" sex in a relationship and stays unmarried to pursue that goal more easily. I have to assume sex is not important nor fun for that PP, such that she can't fathom it being a dealbreaker. I'm a feminist myself and have zero issue with what he's saying. In fact, as a newly divorced woman, I feel exactly the same way. If the sex dried up for no good reason, see ya. I don't need more platonic friends.

I've never met a true feminist who used this word. Nice try.

I've never met a woman who would use that word.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being married does not mean being celibate. I feel it is quite unreasonable for either partner to downplay or ignore the emotional/sexual needs of the other. If you can’t it won’t fix it, you can divorce, open the marriage or cheat. In the latter case, it’s not fair to call the other person evil b/c they seek elsewhere the comfort you deny.

A comedian once said everything in life is about sex. Except sex, which is about power.

People who withhold sex and affection in a marriage are asserting a power over their spouse by denying the one thing their spouse needs and can't ethically get elsewhere. They know their spouse probably won't divorce over it if they have kids. That's part of the reason people have such rapid reactions to infidelity. It shifts the power to the denied spouse and forces the withholding spouse to choose between divorce and staying with a cheater.

I feel like this is it. I've seen wives deny sex in order to gain the upper hand. We've seen it here on DCUM. It is a power play. When it isn't a power play, though ... and I understand this from experience .... it can be hard to want to have sex with your husband who you look at as a family member. He's just not a sexual being any more for a lot of wives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess. My spouse doesn’t care about sex anymore, but he’s on the spectrum and doesn’t care about it most normal things in life. Since his Dx, have admitted how bad he was at it anyhow, and the likely reasons why... plus I’m sick of taking the lead on everything in life. So that’s a mood killer dynamic.

Did you try doing more of the housework? How about a massage. He can’t just turn it on because you want some at the end of the day.

Lol, that cures mental disorders!? Who knew!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being married does not mean being celibate. I feel it is quite unreasonable for either partner to downplay or ignore the emotional/sexual needs of the other. If you can’t it won’t fix it, you can divorce, open the marriage or cheat. In the latter case, it’s not fair to call the other person evil b/c they seek elsewhere the comfort you deny.

A comedian once said everything in life is about sex. Except sex, which is about power.

People who withhold sex and affection in a marriage are asserting a power over their spouse by denying the one thing their spouse needs and can't ethically get elsewhere. They know their spouse probably won't divorce over it if they have kids. That's part of the reason people have such rapid reactions to infidelity. It shifts the power to the denied spouse and forces the withholding spouse to choose between divorce and staying with a cheater.

Except those who regularly sleep with a spouse who cheats.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being married does not mean being celibate. I feel it is quite unreasonable for either partner to downplay or ignore the emotional/sexual needs of the other. If you can’t it won’t fix it, you can divorce, open the marriage or cheat. In the latter case, it’s not fair to call the other person evil b/c they seek elsewhere the comfort you deny.

A comedian once said everything in life is about sex. Except sex, which is about power.

People who withhold sex and affection in a marriage are asserting a power over their spouse by denying the one thing their spouse needs and can't ethically get elsewhere. They know their spouse probably won't divorce over it if they have kids. That's part of the reason people have such rapid reactions to infidelity. It shifts the power to the denied spouse and forces the withholding spouse to choose between divorce and staying with a cheater.

Except those who regularly sleep with a spouse who cheats.

Will you please stop derailing SEXLESS MARRIAGE threads with your purple spotted unicorn 0.0000001% case of the husband who cheats despite sex 5X per week plus BJs on demand?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand the rabid feminazi responses to the dude who "expects" sex in a relationship and stays unmarried to pursue that goal more easily. I have to assume sex is not important nor fun for that PP, such that she can't fathom it being a dealbreaker. I'm a feminist myself and have zero issue with what he's saying. In fact, as a newly divorced woman, I feel exactly the same way. If the sex dried up for no good reason, see ya. I don't need more platonic friends.

I've never met a true feminist who used this word. Nice try.

Well here I am. That word conjures up exactly the hysterical, crazed behavior of the poster well-being on twisting that guy's words, and I, as a feminist, hate how she gives feminists a bad name. SHE is responsible for the existence of the term feminazi, and her relentless assholery undermines feminism.

[Anonymous]

well-being ---> hell-bent

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being married does not mean being celibate. I feel it is quite unreasonable for either partner to downplay or ignore the emotional/sexual needs of the other. If you can’t it won’t fix it, you can divorce, open the marriage or cheat. In the latter case, it’s not fair to call the other person evil b/c they seek elsewhere the comfort you deny.

A comedian once said everything in life is about sex. Except sex, which is about power.

People who withhold sex and affection in a marriage are asserting a power over their spouse by denying the one thing their spouse needs and can't ethically get elsewhere. They know their spouse probably won't divorce over it if they have kids. That's part of the reason people have such rapid reactions to infidelity. It shifts the power to the denied spouse and forces the withholding spouse to choose between divorce and staying with a cheater.

Except those who regularly sleep with a spouse who cheats.

Will you please stop derailing SEXLESS MARRIAGE threads with your purple spotted unicorn 0.0000001% case of the husband who cheats despite sex 5X per week plus BJs on demand?

First time I posted that, and I believe it is more common than you think. I’ve known a few people in that situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand the rabid feminazi responses to the dude who "expects" sex in a relationship and stays unmarried to pursue that goal more easily. I have to assume sex is not important nor fun for that PP, such that she can't fathom it being a dealbreaker. I'm a feminist myself and have zero issue with what he's saying. In fact, as a newly divorced woman, I feel exactly the same way. If the sex dried up for no good reason, see ya. I don't need more platonic friends.

I've never met a true feminist who used this word. Nice try.

Well here I am. That word conjures up exactly the hysterical, crazed behavior of the poster well-being on twisting that guy's words, and I, as a feminist, hate how she gives feminists a bad name. SHE is responsible for the existence of the term feminazi, and her relentless assholery undermines feminism.

How can you twist the fact he says he expects sex no matter the excuse? And he is entitled to it. He walked it back after that but that was his first post out of the gate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand the rabid feminazi responses to the dude who "expects" sex in a relationship and stays unmarried to pursue that goal more easily. I have to assume sex is not important nor fun for that PP, such that she can't fathom it being a dealbreaker. I'm a feminist myself and have zero issue with what he's saying. In fact, as a newly divorced woman, I feel exactly the same way. If the sex dried up for no good reason, see ya. I don't need more platonic friends.

I've never met a true feminist who used this word. Nice try.

Well here I am. That word conjures up exactly the hysterical, crazed behavior of the poster well-being on twisting that guy's words, and I, as a feminist, hate how she gives feminists a bad name. SHE is responsible for the existence of the term feminazi, and her relentless assholery undermines feminism.

How can you twist the fact he says he expects sex no matter the excuse? And he is entitled to it. He walked it back after that but that was his first post out of the gate.

Because it's totally reasonable to expect regular sex, barring a good reason like illness (which he said), in a relationship. There's nothing controversial there, as much as you keep trying to twist his words.