My daughter got beat up for bullying another child

[Anonymous]

Your daughter's friends should dare her to jump off the bridge.
On second thought, are you sure those are her friends? Why didn't the "friends" poor the juice?

[Anonymous]

Your daughter is an a****** and got what she had coming to her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, you are raising a sociopath. Be careful. And take away her phone NOW. You need to monitor her texting and see what she is telling her friends. Also, where is DH in all of this?!?

This is a little far. She's expressed a lot of remorse. I think she'll grow from this. And I'm a single mom. It's just me and her.

Have you taken the phone yet?

Is she remorseful about being in trouble, or remorseful about targeting, scapegoating, and humiliating another child?

I will in the morning. It's a little late where I am. And I think she's remorseful about both. She told me she felt bad about what she did. I'm sure she'll hate me tomorrow. *sigh*

So when she was crying, I couldn't help but hold her. But at the same time I was telling her I was disappointed in her. Do you think this gave her mixed messages? Should I be cold towards her even though she's so upset??

You can love her and still be disappointed in her.

Why didn't the school notify you earlier of the complaints?

I'm glad the other girl stood up for herself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She got what she deserved. Hopefully she’ll learn from this.

I really don't think a black eye makes up for relentlessly tormenting some innocent girl(s) for months or years.

And now she has done something else to the poor girl - she got her suspended for something that wasn't her fault at all. That's on her record now. OP's daughter essentially picked and started this fight. The other girl defended herself. Who knows the type of crap she's had to deal with. Pouring juice on someone's meal to ruin it and publicly humiliate them goes way beyond calling them a name (which is already bad enough). If OP had any moral compass whatsoever, she'd immediately punish her daughter (personally, I'd be going with NO phone for at least a month, NO activities or seeing friends, handwritten apology to the other girl, writing me an essay on the school massacres that were caused by people snapping after being psychologically brutalized by school bullies, volunteering somewhere). She should also have HER DAUGHTER go to the principal and petition for the other girl to be allowed back in school. The other girl did nothing wrong. She didn't use weapons, didn't pre-plan an attack. She merely defended herself after she herself was attacked (and yes, I'd consider someone walking up and pouring something over my meal to be an attack). She should not be suspended. That's outrageous.

OP's daughter is only upset and crying about it because she got caught and reprimanded by the school, and because she evidently lost the fight. She clearly wasn't upset about it any of the other times she tormented this girl.

It would be poetic justice for the bully to be teased and bullied for losing a fight with the unpopular girl.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 13 year old daughter has been bullying another girl in her class for awhile apparently. The other child finally snapped and beat up my daughter during lunch at school. The day of the incident, my daughter had been dared by her friends to pour juice on the other girl's lunch. My daughter told me it was just supposed to be a silly prank, but when I spoke with the school counselor, she informed me the girl had made other complaints about my daughter bullying her. I'm furious because my child is physically hurt. She came home with a black eye among other bruises. But I'm also upset that she was bullying another girl. She has been suspended for a week from school. I'm torn between sympathizing with my daughter because she's hurt and been crying a lot, but I also want to be stern and let her know bullying isn't tolerated. How should I handle this situation and prevent it from happening again?

You're raising a mean girl and I'm glad she got her ass kicked. Admit it, if your daughter punched HER bully, you'd be singing a different tune

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is your daughter a queen bee or is she in the popular clique and easily influenced into doing things? I’d spend a lot of time this week getting to the bottom of what’ drove your daughter behavior - has she been a mean girl before? Is this new or old behavior?

She's on the popular side. The other girl is quiet and more reserved. I suspect my child was doing this for laughs and attention from her classmates smh.

Uh yeah. Classic mean girl move. Are you really this clueless?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, you are raising a sociopath. Be careful. And take away her phone NOW. You need to monitor her texting and see what she is telling her friends. Also, where is DH in all of this?!?

This is a little far. She's expressed a lot of remorse. I think she'll grow from this. And I'm a single mom. It's just me and her.

Her remorse is from getting caught and the embarrassment of having a black eye.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Question for OP. Does your daughter still have a phone? Your answer will tell me how serious you are taking this. How exactly are you punishing your daughter?

I haven't punished her yet. I kind of feel like the beating she got plus suspension is punishment enough.

Then you are showing her that her behavior is acceptable. Is she going to have a nice week off school now? Watch some TV? Maybe go get a smoothie?

She's been crying and moping around. But I will ground her for a month with no phone starting tomorrow. She's definitely miserable though. I know her suspension won't be easy.

Why starting tomorrow. Shut that phone off now! You aren't being very parental

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, you are raising a sociopath. Be careful. And take away her phone NOW. You need to monitor her texting and see what she is telling her friends. Also, where is DH in all of this?!?

This is a little far. She's expressed a lot of remorse. I think she'll grow from this. And I'm a single mom. It's just me and her.

Have you taken the phone yet?

Is she remorseful about being in trouble, or remorseful about targeting, scapegoating, and humiliating another child?

I will in the morning. It's a little late where I am. And I think she's remorseful about both. She told me she felt bad about what she did. I'm sure she'll hate me tomorrow. *sigh*

So when she was crying, I couldn't help but hold her. But at the same time I was telling her I was disappointed in her. Do you think this gave her mixed messages? Should I be cold towards her even though she's so upset??

Sigh. You suck. Full of excuses

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you upset or mortified that your daughter lost the fight?

I'm upset that she was in one and got hurt.

-OP

She got what she deserved

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter was crying about her eye, she's whining that it needs to be gone before she goes back to school. Does anyone know how to heal them fast. I don't want her to get teased. I know it's easy to say she deserves it when that's not your child going through it. She's still very young and I know she's hurt physically and emotionally.

-OP

You really need to think about your daughters victim for a change. I do feel sorry for your daughter to though. Sorry that she has such a dumbazz for a mother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you upset or mortified that your daughter lost the fight?

I'm upset that she was in one and got hurt.

-OP

She got what she deserved

I am more curious how did she get black eye. Suckerpunch or accidental? Where the reflexes?
I watched many girls changing sides from bully to being bullied during middle school. Watch for that, OP, your daughter might need more help.

[Anonymous]

It's ironic how many of the critical posters on this thread appear to be full grown bullies themselves!

[Anonymous]

Man I see bad parenting on this forum but OP truly takes the cake. Scares me that there are parents out there like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's ironic how many of the critical posters on this thread appear to be full grown bullies themselves!

Yup. I hope this mom can look past it as she reads.

She has a big problem now, though. But her bullying daughter is still a kid who needs some loving parenting to get through these next weeks when she is gossiped about and needs to show a spine for the first time this year.