Help - gay brother

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ How did he react, OP?

I think you're right not to get involved in his telling your parents. But I worry you will regret your refusal to meet someone who is important to him.

He was upset, as I knew he would be. But he was not surprised. My two-month silence speaks for itself.

Just because this man means something to my brother doesn't mean I have to meet him. If he was dating a prostitute, felon, or other person whose morals I disagree with, would you expect me to meet that person too?

I don't know. I just know how lucky you are to have a brother who continues to reach out to you despite the fact that you are hurting him. That is a gift that I think you are taking for granted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ How did he react, OP?

I think you're right not to get involved in his telling your parents. But I worry you will regret your refusal to meet someone who is important to him.

He was upset, as I knew he would be. But he was not surprised. My two-month silence speaks for itself.

Just because this man means something to my brother doesn't mean I have to meet him. If he was dating a prostitute, felon, or other person whose morals I disagree with, would you expect me to meet that person too?

Wow. Now you are also going out of your way to insult him, demean his choices and castigate his judgment in people. The only bad judgment he's exhibited is thinking a sister as bigoted as you cares for him.

[Anonymous]

God, I wish OP would post her brother's email address so we can all send him messages of support and love since his family of origin seems like a toxic cesspool of hatred and bigotry.

I'm not reading through 13 pages to find out, but do we know if OP's bigotry is animated by religion, or just general "ick factor?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ How did he react, OP?

I think you're right not to get involved in his telling your parents. But I worry you will regret your refusal to meet someone who is important to him.

He was upset, as I knew he would be. But he was not surprised. My two-month silence speaks for itself.

Just because this man means something to my brother doesn't mean I have to meet him. If he was dating a prostitute, felon, or other person whose morals I disagree with, would you expect me to meet that person too?

Wow. Now you are also going out of your way to insult him, demean his choices and castigate his judgment in people. The only bad judgment he's exhibited is thinking a sister as bigoted as you cares for him.

+1
OP, you are not a good person. Nobody expects you to do the right thing.

[Anonymous]

Just because someone doesn't want to meet your boyfriend doesn't mean they hate you.

Too many drama queens in this thread. I pray you never encounter a person who will teach you the difference between disappointment and hatred. You are all very pampered.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, at least he is not transgender and you are not supposed to clap your hands and cheer while witnessing the Making of A New American Family:
http://time.com/4475634/trans-man-pregnancy-evan/

OP here. Funnily, yours is the most helpful post to me because it cracked me up and helped me see the bright side. At least my brother is not declaring himself a woman and trying to insist I have a sister? I'll take what I can get.

As I expected, there are many hateful posts here accusing me of being hateful. Um, you're moralizing while wishing death and evil things on a stranger? Whatever works for you.

I don't feel guilty about not being accepting of homosexuality. It is a problematic lifestyle and I don't care if my opinion goes against popular thinking. Last night, I told my brother that I love him, but do not support his homosexuality and do not want to meet his boyfriend. I also will not have anything to do with him telling my parents. That one is on him. I can love someone without accepting everything they do. This low standard, anything goes standard of love that some of you are advocating is your spin, not objective truth.

OP has doubled down on her bigotry - how impressive. The "problematic lifestyle" for me is one filled with intolerance and bigotry - with a big dash of hate. Are you also a racist OP?
Even after being told how this rejection can affect people in the worst way, OP does not even flinch. It breaks my heart for her brother and his boyfriend. This has probably devastated her brother, he thought he had a sister who loved him for who he was and its just not the case.

Hopefully your brother can find some new loving, accepting people to fill his life, since it looks like he is being cut out from yours and probably your parents too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just because someone doesn't want to meet your boyfriend doesn't mean they hate you.

Too many drama queens in this thread. I pray you never encounter a person who will teach you the difference between disappointment and hatred. You are all very pampered.

Someone who doesn't want to meet my boyfriend doesn't belong in my life. Who cares if they hate me?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just because someone doesn't want to meet your boyfriend doesn't mean they hate you.

Too many drama queens in this thread. I pray you never encounter a person who will teach you the difference between disappointment and hatred. You are all very pampered.

Someone who doesn't want to meet my boyfriend doesn't belong in my life. Who cares if they hate me?

This. The whole point of the unconditional love we are meant to extend to family is that their joy makes us happy. OP seems much more invested in her image of herself and her brother as "close" than in actually being a part of his life.

Yes, his life includes his partner. No, they probably weren't as close as she thinks, if he's been forced to keep this secret so long.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just because someone doesn't want to meet your boyfriend doesn't mean they hate you.

Too many drama queens in this thread. I pray you never encounter a person who will teach you the difference between disappointment and hatred. You are all very pampered.

Someone who doesn't want to meet my boyfriend doesn't belong in my life. Who cares if they hate me?

Your post has nothing to do with the point of mine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just because someone doesn't want to meet your boyfriend doesn't mean they hate you.

Too many drama queens in this thread. I pray you never encounter a person who will teach you the difference between disappointment and hatred. You are all very pampered.

Someone who doesn't want to meet my boyfriend doesn't belong in my life. Who cares if they hate me?

This. The whole point of the unconditional love we are meant to extend to family is that their joy makes us happy. OP seems much more invested in her image of herself and her brother as "close" than in actually being a part of his life.

Yes, his life includes his partner. No, they probably weren't as close as she thinks, if he's been forced to keep this secret so long.

None of this makes OP "hateful." You all sound like teenagers declaring your parents hate you because they won't let your friends come over. Hate is powerful and all encompassing. It is far more serious than someone not wanting to meet your honey bear. Quit the histrionics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just because someone doesn't want to meet your boyfriend doesn't mean they hate you.

Too many drama queens in this thread. I pray you never encounter a person who will teach you the difference between disappointment and hatred. You are all very pampered.

Someone who doesn't want to meet my boyfriend doesn't belong in my life. Who cares if they hate me?

Your post has nothing to do with the point of mine.

Your point is irrelevant. We are not here to debate what counts as disappointment and what counts as hatred. It doesn't matter what label we give that action. The point remains that if someone refuses to meet my partner, they no longer deserve to be in my life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ How did he react, OP?

I think you're right not to get involved in his telling your parents. But I worry you will regret your refusal to meet someone who is important to him.

He was upset, as I knew he would be. But he was not surprised. My two-month silence speaks for itself.

Just because this man means something to my brother doesn't mean I have to meet him. If he was dating a prostitute, felon, or other person whose morals I disagree with, would you expect me to meet that person too?

Wow you are comparing being gay to being one of those? Thank god your kind is a dying breed on it's last legs. I feel badly for your brother...your family (and yourself) sound like terrible people.

~a straight guy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just because someone doesn't want to meet your boyfriend doesn't mean they hate you.

Too many drama queens in this thread. I pray you never encounter a person who will teach you the difference between disappointment and hatred. You are all very pampered.

Someone who doesn't want to meet my boyfriend doesn't belong in my life. Who cares if they hate me?

This. The whole point of the unconditional love we are meant to extend to family is that their joy makes us happy. OP seems much more invested in her image of herself and her brother as "close" than in actually being a part of his life.

Yes, his life includes his partner. No, they probably weren't as close as she thinks, if he's been forced to keep this secret so long.

None of this makes OP "hateful." You all sound like teenagers declaring your parents hate you because they won't let your friends come over. Hate is powerful and all encompassing. It is far more serious than someone not wanting to meet your honey bear. Quit the histrionics.

Awwww, poor sweetie. Sorry you're so offended. Must be hard to lecture people all the time and not be able to take it yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just because someone doesn't want to meet your boyfriend doesn't mean they hate you.

Too many drama queens in this thread. I pray you never encounter a person who will teach you the difference between disappointment and hatred. You are all very pampered.

In this case, it is about hatred. The OP is prejudiced against gay people and hates that her brother is gay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just because someone doesn't want to meet your boyfriend doesn't mean they hate you.

Too many drama queens in this thread. I pray you never encounter a person who will teach you the difference between disappointment and hatred. You are all very pampered.

Someone who doesn't want to meet my boyfriend doesn't belong in my life. Who cares if they hate me?

This. The whole point of the unconditional love we are meant to extend to family is that their joy makes us happy. OP seems much more invested in her image of herself and her brother as "close" than in actually being a part of his life.

Yes, his life includes his partner. No, they probably weren't as close as she thinks, if he's been forced to keep this secret so long.

None of this makes OP "hateful." You all sound like teenagers declaring your parents hate you because they won't let your friends come over. Hate is powerful and all encompassing. It is far more serious than someone not wanting to meet your honey bear. Quit the histrionics.

I'm actually not the PP who called OP hateful. Although I think her brother deserves much better, and hope he walks away and is able to find a chosen family that loves and supports him. Maybe his partner's family isn't mired in the 1940s and some outdated view of what kind of relationship is "moral."